Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)
Don't feel sad. You should be PROUD and HAPPY to have had a healthy baby when you were "older".
When people assume this, you should grin and say "No he's my son!" and enjoy the looks of surprise and embarrassment on their faces.
I'm an older mama too, and I hear ya ... oh, do I hear ya. I think comments like this just hit us right in the ol' mortality. While I heartily agree with nataliekat's comeback strategy (and that putting a smile on your face will definitely help put one in your heart), I think it behooves us in this situation to not hide from the fact that these comments can push some ugly things in our faces that we'd rather not think about. That we're "different." That we somehow don't measure up to society's ideal, youthful, all-fertile mother image. That we might (gulp) not have as many years to spend with our children. That hurts to think about.
But in the end ... Would we ever change this decision to have brought another life into the world, our families and our hearts? I don't think most of us would, no matter how awkward we might feel about the timing. There's just no discounting that much love.
But, you know, I'm trying to see that I actually am old enough to be my littlest one's grandmother (without much problem at all!). And while I think that it is very rude and almost mean of people to constantly remind me of the differences in age between me and the baby, I tell myself that they don't mean it that way.
I think it's a shame that our culture assumes that there is a certain prescribed period of years during which we have to bear our children and then we all give it up. I think that we need to be proud of the fact that our bodies worked perfectly well, thank you, even when a lot of others thought they were too old.
Do not worry. My DH is 64 and people ask if he is my dad. I am 49 and our youngest is 11, and people ask if he is my grandson since I have a 22 year old also.
People are not trying to be mean. Go with it. If you had a baby at 44, he is a huge blessing to you.
One of my biggest regrets is that I will not have as much time as my older siblings, with my mother, who I love dearly. She just turned 80, and I know so many 60 year olds with parents not much older than my mom.
People often comment, you get along so well with your mom, and I'd giggle and say, she's my sister!
I'm SOOOO glad she had me! I'm glad I was born to her at any age, rather than to another person who was younger. And life brought Dd to me when life brought Dd to me. I wouldn't change a thing. You sound happy, let it show when those people make their comments.
we are a loarge lot...
I had my ds at 43. I'm now 45 and my husband and I go back and forth about a second.
I can't believe it..but we do consider it..then say no..then rethink...
I too have been asked if I'm the grandma.
I was at a party this weekend and one of the moms there became a grandmoter at 36.
When I was 36 I was still dicking around with my career and doing therapy regularly to work out the wreckage of my childhood...
oh, well....we all come here from different places...
check us out in tribes.
Check out New Moon on my Astrology Site
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My ds is two and, just like you, I feel he is the greatest blessing possible and I feel that I am "asking for too much", am being greedy, for wishing I had just a few more years of fertility left than I do. I would love to have one more baby. But it's such a useless thing to wish for--it just isn't to be. I know what you mean, EXACTLY, is all I can say.
Don't feel bad about the rude thoughtless comments of others. Enjoy your son.
Well, right now I really need to dye it again, but when I get those comments I have found that "we waited a long time and went through a lot of heartache waiting for him to join us". Makes them smile and doesn't seem to embarrass them as much. (Went through many years of IF and m/c...so this is a true statement for us). Might work for you too.
Mom to 10yo Autistic Wonder Boy and 6yo Inquisitive Fireball Girl . December birthdays.
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