I lied in front of my kids - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 09-10-2007, 11:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We moved in our new home a few months ago, right next door to some very kind and.....er..... nosy people. The daughter is in her forties but is special needs. Most of the time she greets us when we get home and asks us ten thousand questions. "What you got there? Where have you been? Why you got that in your car? You been at work?". Most of the time I so gently answer her questions and just move toward the door.

I was REALLY worn out when I got home today. I saw her coming. I couldn't go through this today. I told her before she even walked up "I'm not feeling well, you may not want to come close to me today". She didn't understand what I said so i had to repeat it. The kids were all in bad moods, crying, and yelling about this and that, and we had groceries to get in. My kids knew I wasn't sick. I could have just told her the kids are grouchy and I need to get them in, but for some odd reason I chose to lie. What should I say to my kids so they don't think I'm a big fat lier?
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#2 of 6 Old 09-10-2007, 11:47 PM
 
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That you made a mistake?

Kristina in Kitsap County, WA
Doula, Student Midwife, Mama, Wife & More
http://redspiral.blogspot.com
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#3 of 6 Old 09-10-2007, 11:50 PM
 
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I'd say that being stressed doesn't feel good. That's NOT a lie to me. I'd also admit to the mistake of the situation too, "It's not always nice to treat people that way. Mommy should have done/been a little more patient with her...."
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#4 of 6 Old 09-11-2007, 10:52 AM
 
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You could say it's been on your mind and that you're sorry that your first response was to make an excuse, but sometimes people do that and it's human and okay. It really is, you know.

You could also talk about how sometimes too many questions is not appropriate!

~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
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#5 of 6 Old 09-11-2007, 12:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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When we first moved in I didn't KNOW she was special needs. I almost really went off on her. I would have felt terrible if I did that. We were parked in the driveway waiting for the realtor to show us the home and she came and knocked on my van window. Apparantly, she was really protective of the last family who lived there (which I see as a good thing). She started with the questions. "Why you got a baby seat in your car? What are you doing here? Why you still here? Why you got drinks in your car?". My dh explained to me who she was, he had a friend on this street when he was younger and she used to watch them skate. I'm so glad I didn't go off on her. I think I will do that, Jen. I don't feel like it's appropriate to let it go. Thanks, everyone.
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#6 of 6 Old 09-11-2007, 05:39 PM
 
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I think I would explain to the kids that you indeed didn't feel well, and you said it in a very simple way so the woman could understand you. And that some people need more simple words than others.

I don't think you lied. With another person you could have been more subtle ("Hey, lots to do, so let's catch up later" or "Kids really need my attention right now") but I am assuming she would not have likely understood your needs there. You told the truth but in a much more simplistic way that she could understand. And that way met both of your needs (gave you some space without hurting her feelings).

I wouldn't feel bad about it nor would I act bad about it to my kids.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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