I lied in front of my kids - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 09-10-2007, 11:43 PM - Thread Starter
funkygranolamama's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We moved in our new home a few months ago, right next door to some very kind and.....er..... nosy people. The daughter is in her forties but is special needs. Most of the time she greets us when we get home and asks us ten thousand questions. "What you got there? Where have you been? Why you got that in your car? You been at work?". Most of the time I so gently answer her questions and just move toward the door.

I was REALLY worn out when I got home today. I saw her coming. I couldn't go through this today. I told her before she even walked up "I'm not feeling well, you may not want to come close to me today". She didn't understand what I said so i had to repeat it. The kids were all in bad moods, crying, and yelling about this and that, and we had groceries to get in. My kids knew I wasn't sick. I could have just told her the kids are grouchy and I need to get them in, but for some odd reason I chose to lie. What should I say to my kids so they don't think I'm a big fat lier?
funkygranolamama is offline  
#2 of 6 Old 09-10-2007, 11:47 PM
dynamicdoula's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Kitsap County, WA
Posts: 2,339
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That you made a mistake?

Kristina in Kitsap County, WA
Doula, Student Midwife, Mama, Wife & More
dynamicdoula is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 09-10-2007, 11:50 PM
afishwithabike's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Third rock from the sun.
Posts: 5,039
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd say that being stressed doesn't feel good. That's NOT a lie to me. I'd also admit to the mistake of the situation too, "It's not always nice to treat people that way. Mommy should have done/been a little more patient with her...."
afishwithabike is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 09-11-2007, 10:52 AM
GuildJenn's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 4,776
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You could say it's been on your mind and that you're sorry that your first response was to make an excuse, but sometimes people do that and it's human and okay. It really is, you know.

You could also talk about how sometimes too many questions is not appropriate!

~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
GuildJenn is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 09-11-2007, 12:13 PM - Thread Starter
funkygranolamama's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When we first moved in I didn't KNOW she was special needs. I almost really went off on her. I would have felt terrible if I did that. We were parked in the driveway waiting for the realtor to show us the home and she came and knocked on my van window. Apparantly, she was really protective of the last family who lived there (which I see as a good thing). She started with the questions. "Why you got a baby seat in your car? What are you doing here? Why you still here? Why you got drinks in your car?". My dh explained to me who she was, he had a friend on this street when he was younger and she used to watch them skate. I'm so glad I didn't go off on her. I think I will do that, Jen. I don't feel like it's appropriate to let it go. Thanks, everyone.
funkygranolamama is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 09-11-2007, 05:39 PM
laohaire's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 7,314
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think I would explain to the kids that you indeed didn't feel well, and you said it in a very simple way so the woman could understand you. And that some people need more simple words than others.

I don't think you lied. With another person you could have been more subtle ("Hey, lots to do, so let's catch up later" or "Kids really need my attention right now") but I am assuming she would not have likely understood your needs there. You told the truth but in a much more simplistic way that she could understand. And that way met both of your needs (gave you some space without hurting her feelings).

I wouldn't feel bad about it nor would I act bad about it to my kids.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

laohaire is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off