Leaving sleeping children in the car for under 3 minutes - Page 14 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#391 of 407 Old 01-19-2008, 08:57 PM
 
Daffodil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Vermont
Posts: 3,578
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
What concerns me is that so many people feel a need to try to determine for other parents what their comfort levels should be.
The thing is, other parents' comfort levels affect MY family's life. Due to other parents' fears, it's now illegal in many places for me to leave my kids briefly alone in the car, even if I judge the situation to be safe. You may say, well, that's what I'm talking about, they shouldn't have tried to get those laws passed, they should have just let other parents decide on their own comfort levels. But if they think other parents may be needlessly endangering their children, it makes sense that they'd want to prevent that. I don't necessarily think they're wrong to try to prevent me from doing something they feel is dangerous. I just think they're wrong about the actual danger involved - so, yes, you bet I want to get them to rethink what their comfort level ought to be.
swede likes this.
Daffodil is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#392 of 407 Old 01-19-2008, 09:07 PM
 
woobysma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: over the moon
Posts: 2,997
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Man, I'm weak. I've been trying to ignore this thread since yesterday. I thought it had finally died.


Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural View Post
Woah. It is so sad that some people live in this much fear. People need to be looking at their own family, friends, & neighbors for child molesters... not behind the 7-11 at any given moment.
I'll just add in a : and be done with it (again... )
woobysma is offline  
#393 of 407 Old 01-19-2008, 09:42 PM
 
mammal_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Urban Midwestern USA
Posts: 6,378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daffodil View Post
The thing is, other parents' comfort levels affect MY family's life. Due to other parents' fears, it's now illegal in many places for me to leave my kids briefly alone in the car, even if I judge the situation to be safe. You may say, well, that's what I'm talking about, they shouldn't have tried to get those laws passed, they should have just let other parents decide on their own comfort levels. But if they think other parents may be needlessly endangering their children, it makes sense that they'd want to prevent that. I don't necessarily think they're wrong to try to prevent me from doing something they feel is dangerous. I just think they're wrong about the actual danger involved - so, yes, you bet I want to get them to rethink what their comfort level ought to be.
Bolding mine. I see your point -- only the difference is that the more relaxed parents aren't out trying, for instance, to pass laws that parents "have" to stay in the house while their kids are out playing in the yard. The more relaxed parents aren't calling CPS to complain about how other parents are being so protective that they're stifling their children.

I have heard more relaxed parents share how their children developed a better than average ability to handle various situations and keep themselves safe -- but I've never had the experience of being screamed at by one of these parents in a parking lot, because I took my children into the store with me.

So I'm all in favor of respectful dialog between all sorts of parents, as long as all parties involved are consenting to participating (i.e. they're not being forced into it because someone's going off on them).

So I'll rephrase my previous statement: I don't think it's bad to try to persuade other parents to change their comfort-levels -- I just think it's wrong to try to bully and coerce them.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
mammal_mama is offline  
#394 of 407 Old 01-19-2008, 09:49 PM
 
mamaofthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,281
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have left my sleeping kids in the van... not alone but with their big sister (13) to keep an eye on them while I pay for gas or drop something in someplace.
But that is me and I am usually fine with that... except when I hear here that people would call CPS or yell nasty things at me or think I suck as a mother because of that. I am actually more worried about "good intestioned" people being crappy to me then my kids being molested at a 7-11 while I pay for gas.

h

mama to 6 amazing children joy.gif married to my main man for 21 years love.gif and finally home FULL time dishes.gifhang.gifknit.gif

mamaofthree is offline  
#395 of 407 Old 01-21-2008, 04:05 PM
 
papercranegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 484
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
Yes ... and I'm just going to reiterate what I said early on in this thread: each parent needs to go with her own comfort level.

What concerns me is that so many people feel a need to try to determine for other parents what their comfort levels should be.

I frequently see other parents feeling comfortable with a low level of supervision that I just couldn't be comfortable with, myself -- but I'm too busy with my own life to really fret about other parents' decisions.

If anyone doesn't have enough of a life to keep them occupied -- I wish they'd find a way to get more of a life. Seriously. I think the world would be a better place, if more people were busy tending to their own families.

Personally, I leave my kids in the locked car when I pay for gas or stop at 7-11 if I can see the car for the entire time. Yes, there's a slim possibility that someone might break the car windows, hotwire the car and drive off with the kids but it seems to me that the kids and myself are MORE vulnerable during the time that I'm getting them in and out of the car.
papercranegirl is offline  
#396 of 407 Old 11-16-2013, 12:57 AM
 
mommyoftwo2013's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Wow, I was crying as I was reading replies. I just do not understand how calling the police will help the situation rather then satisfying someones need for not sure even what.

mommyoftwo2013 is offline  
#397 of 407 Old 11-16-2013, 11:50 AM
 
mommyoftwo2013's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

If it were a foolish mistake and you are the one who stands on "calling the police" think of this before you take actions.

My sister went to a kid store as her son was crying for some toy and they were in the area of the son favorite store. My sis made a decision to go to the store and leave her daughter in the car as she was sleeping. She parked 60 feet away and could see the car from the store. Some "nice" woman called the police. My sis was not arrested as I am sure the police decided that it could be a mistake, bad one, but was. She was to appear in court.

Now, consider this, they are a family that has been very successful, community involved, helping some kid with leukemia by raising a heck of money.

They chose a neighborhood to live in for good schools, but far from work to ensure kids get the best education. My sis cut down on work hours to make sure she can stay with kids after school and have them do the homework etc.

Their son is 5,5, plays chess well, can read and write thanks to her. Her daughter 3,5 can do a puzzle of 100 on her own.

Now, this woman with wonderful kids is facing jail time, because of someone finding her of wrongdoing. Calling the police takes 5 minutes, telling mother that she was wrong by leaving kid in car takes 5 minutes.

Consequences - my sis life could be ruined and her kids could be taken away - put in foster care, grow up addicts or worse.

 

Leaving children in the car is wrong, however, whoever sees is should use common sense.

mommyoftwo2013 is offline  
#398 of 407 Old 11-16-2013, 01:31 PM
 
TCMoulton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chicago Suburbs
Posts: 4,075
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyoftwo2013 View Post

If it were a foolish mistake and you are the one who stands on "calling the police" think of this before you take actions.
My sister went to a kid store as her son was crying for some toy and they were in the area of the son favorite store. My sis made a decision to go to the store and leave her daughter in the car as she was sleeping. She parked 60 feet away and could see the car from the store. Some "nice" woman called the police. My sis was not arrested as I am sure the police decided that it could be a mistake, bad one, but was. She was to appear in court.
Now, consider this, they are a family that has been very successful, community involved, helping some kid with leukemia by raising a heck of money.
They chose a neighborhood to live in for good schools, but far from work to ensure kids get the best education. My sis cut down on work hours to make sure she can stay with kids after school and have them do the homework etc.
Their son is 5,5, plays chess well, can read and write thanks to her. Her daughter 3,5 can do a puzzle of 100 on her own.
Now, this woman with wonderful kids is facing jail time, because of someone finding her of wrongdoing. Calling the police takes 5 minutes, telling mother that she was wrong by leaving kid in car takes 5 minutes.
Consequences - my sis life could be ruined and her kids could be taken away - put in foster care, grow up addicts or worse.

Leaving children in the car is wrong, however, whoever sees is should use common sense.

Just because a family is well off and appears to be doing everything right in raising their children does not make them immune to making mistakes. If I encountered a child alone in a car who was in a potentially dangerous situation (extreme heat/cold, child distressed, etc) I would not even think twice about calling the police if I felt the situation warranted immediate attention. Heck I called the police when I came upon a tiny, obviously distressed dog who was left unattended on a very warm day this past summer, why would I do differently for a tiny human. Otherwise, I might stay within site of the car and keep an eye on the tiny occupant(s) until the adult came out of the store.
Also, foster care is not a guarantee that the children will turn into heroin addicted hoodlums. I know multiple foster parents and none are neglectful parents to any of their children, even the temporary ones.
Bottom line? Being well off doesn't make one immune from making poor parenting choices on occasion.
One_Girl likes this.
TCMoulton is offline  
#399 of 407 Old 11-18-2013, 08:50 AM
 
mommyoftwo2013's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I think you focused too much on the position of the family in the community rather on the raised concern. The point was that the mother puts children in front of anything, and, yes, made a mistake that could cost everything she was living for.

But, hey, maybe there are people who do not make mistakes. 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

mommyoftwo2013 is offline  
#400 of 407 Old 11-18-2013, 10:01 AM
 
Polliwog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,997
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post

Just because a family is well off and appears to be doing everything right in raising their children does not make them immune to making mistakes. If I encountered a child alone in a car who was in a potentially dangerous situation (extreme heat/cold, child distressed, etc) I would not even think twice about calling the police if I felt the situation warranted immediate attention. Heck I called the police when I came upon a tiny, obviously distressed dog who was left unattended on a very warm day this past summer, why would I do differently for a tiny human. Otherwise, I might stay within site of the car and keep an eye on the tiny occupant(s) until the adult came out of the store.
Also, foster care is not a guarantee that the children will turn into heroin addicted hoodlums. I know multiple foster parents and none are neglectful parents to any of their children, even the temporary ones.
Bottom line? Being well off doesn't make one immune from making poor parenting choices on occasion.

This is a six-year-old thread, LOL. But, as a foster parent, I agree that there are many wonderful foster families out there.
Polliwog is online now  
#401 of 407 Old 11-18-2013, 06:08 PM
 
mommyoftwo2013's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Talking about foster care meant that the kids are separated from parents.

mommyoftwo2013 is offline  
#402 of 407 Old 11-18-2013, 06:53 PM
 
TCMoulton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chicago Suburbs
Posts: 4,075
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyoftwo2013 View Post

Talking about foster care meant that the kids are separated from parents.

Yes but sometimes a loving foster family is a better option than home.
TCMoulton is offline  
#403 of 407 Old 11-19-2013, 04:50 AM
 
Polliwog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,997
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post

Yes but sometimes a loving foster family is a better option than home.
Absolutely. Not for reasons like the OP, of course.
Polliwog is online now  
#404 of 407 Old 11-19-2013, 05:17 AM
 
TCMoulton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chicago Suburbs
Posts: 4,075
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Polliwog View Post

Absolutely. Not for reasons like the OP, of course.

Exactly.
TCMoulton is offline  
#405 of 407 Old 11-20-2013, 06:51 PM
 
mommyoftwo2013's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I agree, sometime it is. I am not so sure about the foster care. My dad grew up in one and he ended up becoming a good, hardworking person he earned everything we had as a family on his own together with mom. However, he mentioned that it was hard being there. Not many of the "graduates" of foster care came to have a family and life as I saw it with dad.

And it was back then. 

mommyoftwo2013 is offline  
#406 of 407 Old 11-20-2013, 06:55 PM
 
mommyoftwo2013's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

And, I am sorry, but what is OP? I am not a regular on forums and some abbreviations are a mystery.

mommyoftwo2013 is offline  
#407 of 407 Old 11-20-2013, 10:27 PM
 
tracyamber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 3,746
Mentioned: 196 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 70 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyoftwo2013 View Post

And, I am sorry, but what is OP? I am not a regular on forums and some abbreviations are a mystery.
Original poster( the one who started the thread)
tracyamber is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off