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#1 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 07:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I almost don't want to post this because my MIL made me feel so weird today but I really want to hear from other moms. My DD is 2 and a half. She is not really cuddly, but does like to give kisses and hugs before bed and when someone comes or leaves. Sometimes she goes for the cheek, sometimes she goes for the lips. I never thought much about it because it's just a peck, sometimes its an air kiss. But when MIL was leaving, DD tried to kiss her on the lips and MIL got upset, like really bothered, like it was somehow sexual : .

Is it bad that I haven't discouraged kisses on the lips? I don't encourage it either, I usually give kisses on the forehead anyway. It's not like she's kissing strangers at all, let alone on the lips. I just don't think it's a big deal, she's only 2. Feel free to set me straight. I certainly don't want to be damaging my daughter!!
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#2 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 07:24 PM
 
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Dd is six, and we still kiss on the lips. (Or cheeks, or forehead, or whatever). Honestly, if your dd isn't bothered by it, then I don't think it's a big deal. Your MIL maybe has some issues of her own to deal with!
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#3 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 07:28 PM
 
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Feel free to set me straight.
It'd be your MIL I'd be setting straight!! Good grief, that kind of nonsense makes me crazy. When DD wasn't around I'd give her hell for demonizing such and innocent and sweet gesture. I'd make sure to tell her in no uncertain terms that she should consider herself LUCKY to get kisses from MY daughter.

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#4 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 07:32 PM
 
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I kissed my mom and dad on the lips till I was 9-10 somewhere in there. I remember some family members commenting on how they should not allow me to kiss them on the lips but neither of my parents ( who were divorced when I was 3-4) paid them any attention I stopped kissing them on the lips on my own.
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#5 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 07:38 PM
 
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umm... hello american prudishness. A lot of other countries, it's no big deal to kis on the lips. I don't care as long as it's not MEANT as something sexual. Sounds like MIL has issues :

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#6 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 07:41 PM
 
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Your MIL needs a talking to. My grandparents, aunt & dad all kiss on the lips, still and I'm in my thirties. There is nothing sexual about it, I kiss ds on the lips, I kiss my nieces, 7 & 8 on the lips as does their father (my brother).

I would talk to your MIL so that she doesn't impose her issues on your dd.
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#7 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 07:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, thank you all for responding so quickly. I'm normally pretty confident in how I parent but this issue just caught me off guard. In my family, no kind of affection was shown AT ALL! I never saw my parents hug or kiss or anything. I am totally not raising my children this way, I love to show affection, but this seed of doubt got planted this afternoon. It's good to know we're not weirdos!
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#8 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 07:50 PM
 
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we kiss on the lips, too. It's only weird if you make it weird.
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#9 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 07:59 PM
 
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My dh still kisses his parents on the lips once in awhile.

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#10 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:06 PM
 
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Sounds like your MIL has some issues she may need help with, there is absolutely nothing wrong with toddlers giving lip kisses. I smooch mine on the lips all the time, it's his favorite form of kissing

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#11 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:09 PM
 
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I kiss both my parents on the lips too.

Sometimes I question, "hmmmm, is this weird?", (I think when I'm around other people who don't) but usually I don't even think twice about it.

I agree it's only weird if you make it weird, kinda like people who are freaked out by breastfeeding.
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#12 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:11 PM
 
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We are all lip kissers here.

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#13 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by goodheartedmama View Post
we kiss on the lips, too. It's only weird if you make it weird.
Yeah, we kiss on the lips, too. I'm not sure at what age I stopped doing this with my own parents, but I don't think it's inherently weird.

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#14 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Juvysen View Post
umm... hello american prudishness. A lot of other countries, it's no big deal to kis on the lips. I don't care as long as it's not MEANT as something sexual. Sounds like MIL has issues :
My family is French Canadian, and all family members out to cousins kiss "hello" and "goodbye" on the lips, adults as well as children. I kissed both my parents on the lips until the day they died, in their seventies.
I realize there are cultural differences about this, but I can't imagine any of them applying to a two year old!
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#15 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:17 PM
 
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I love baby kisses on the lips! I dont see how anyone can turn that into a sexual matter! I love it when my children kiss me on the lips, never thought of it the way your MIL has. It is a sweet innocent show of affection.

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#16 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:18 PM
 
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It isn't weird until they try and stick their tongue in your mouth because....daddy does it to mommy.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#17 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:19 PM
 
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It isn't weird until they try and stick their tongue in your mouth because....daddy does it to mommy.
true, true

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#18 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:22 PM
 
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Another vote for kissing on the lips being normal. DD is 3.5 and sometimes we kiss on the lips, sometimes on the cheek sometimes on the leg (or whatever piece of anatomy is closest ).

nothing more to say I guess :
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#19 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:23 PM
 
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It isn't weird until they try and stick their tongue in your mouth because....daddy does it to mommy.
So true!

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#20 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:32 PM
 
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Your MIL is the one with the problem.
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#21 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:39 PM
 
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My mom is like this too. *SIGH* My daughter kisses us on the lips.
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#22 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 08:55 PM
 
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If MIL tried to dishearten DD, I would say to DD "Sweety, grandma is upset because she wants her germs/lipstick back, give her a biiiiig kiss". :

No kissing on the lips here but I can see your point.

I hate it when people endanger children's innocence and hurt their feelings. I was astonished when the mother of a male friend got upset because her son was late for lunch. He and I were wrestling playfully in the sea and she described it as a hideous sexual game. She dared ask if I liked the from behind. I didn't understand what she meant until years later. I still remember her mean look. I think I will slap her if I ever meet her again
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#23 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 09:03 PM
 
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Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeell,

I might get flamed for this, but, I think it's ok for G-ma to *calmly* say, w/o any sort of "this is wrong" implication, "Honey, I'd prefer for you to kiss me on the cheek/forehead/whatever."

I know it's completely innocent on DD's part, but, I do think personal boundaries should be respected. Think if it was the reverse, and DD was the one who wasn't comfortable with it...you'd want her to say, "I don't like kisses there, please."

When my DD tries to hug another little kid who doesn't like it, even though it's obviously innocent, I say, "Oh, it looks like X doesn't want to be hugged right now, so, let's (alternate activity)."

That said, I kiss my DD on the lips, and I *still* kiss (quick peck) my grandpa on the lips...it's just what we've always done (he's Russian - if that has any cultural influence on it, I don't know)
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#24 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 09:04 PM
 
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Oh honestly. I still kiss all my family members out to cousins on the lips, and so does DH's family. No biggie whatsoever!

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#25 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 10:22 PM
 
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my oldest DD is almost 9 and we still kiss on the lips sometimes. It's just a peck for goodbye or good night, and i see nothing wrong with it.

ETA - i agree that if grandma doesn't like it - that without saying it's wrong- she can let him know she likes her kisses on her (alternative location) instead.

~Kris mama to Alexis (15), Elizabeth (10), Andrew (7), and 1 angel
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#26 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 10:36 PM
 
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There is nothing sexual about having that special intimacy with someone. I kiss DS2 on the lips, DS1 outgrew that when he was about 5.

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#27 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 10:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Upside View Post
I almost don't want to post this because my MIL made me feel so weird today but I really want to hear from other moms. My DD is 2 and a half. She is not really cuddly, but does like to give kisses and hugs before bed and when someone comes or leaves. Sometimes she goes for the cheek, sometimes she goes for the lips. I never thought much about it because it's just a peck, sometimes its an air kiss. But when MIL was leaving, DD tried to kiss her on the lips and MIL got upset, like really bothered, like it was somehow sexual : .

Is it bad that I haven't discouraged kisses on the lips? I don't encourage it either, I usually give kisses on the forehead anyway. It's not like she's kissing strangers at all, let alone on the lips. I just don't think it's a big deal, she's only 2. Feel free to set me straight. I certainly don't want to be damaging my daughter!!

I think there's a really good way to deal with the incest taboo:

Don't have incest.

Kissing on the lips is not inherently sexual.

'Nuff said.
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#28 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 10:45 PM
 
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Kailey kisses family, friends, the dog on the lips, I never thought about it...sounds like your mil has some issues

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#29 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 10:55 PM
 
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Your MIL has major issues. Very sad.

When dd was two she would sometimes simulate a passionate kiss with dh and I, mostly with me. She'd close her eyes, cock her head from side to side, and stuck out her tongue a couple of times. I'd laugh and tell her she was silly, and say give me a real kiss now, please.

Good grief, they're babies.
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#30 of 75 Old 09-21-2007, 11:29 PM
 
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I think I kissed my parents on the lips until I was 10 or so. I even remember wanting my mom to "bo" kiss me so I could see what it was like. (I was like 6 and was obsessed with "Bo" from "Days of our Lives" so essentially I was asking my mom to make out with me- lol) My mom of course said that was for mommy's and daddy's to do. - But this exemplifies the innocensce of our babies...
If you and your child feel comfortable kissing on the lips - no matter what age- it is completely acceptable. I mean when you think about it- what bond is more deserving of a kiss on the lips, than mother and child. Personally, I can't resist my 1 year old DD's little lips, nose, ears, etc.
Shrug it off- MIL's suck sometimes -lol

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