So when did you first hear of attachment parenting? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 04:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
mummyc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: London, UK
Posts: 38
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Were you raised that way? Or find out about it and decided to go with your gut instincts and your heart? Or did you just go with the flow and didn't realise your way of parenting didn't have a name?

When I was pregnant, I was on a message board and there was a debate about a baby advice guru and someone pointed out Dr Sears in contrast, so I glanced his website. A little while later (I was about 12 weeks preg) I found "The Baby Book" in a bookstore, I liked what I saw and got it. It was revolutionary to me - what, I can't spoil my baby by holding her?? Marvellous! My sister reiterated that when she said she'd waited 39 years to have her son and she wasn't about to listen to anyone saying that she shouldn't hold him

Sadly, the voices of my many others (apart from DH, who's in agreement with me so far) prevailed and I'm still sad and angry that I spent the first few weeks afraid of holding DD too much I just wish I'd relaxed and cuddle without reservation her like I do now. It didn't help that I felt so down around that time

And to find you guys, it's great! Apart from DH, you guys are so understanding and fiercely loving your children.

Whew that post ended up being kinda cathartic!
mummyc is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 05:02 PM
 
UltimateSerj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Hagerstown, MD
Posts: 1,515
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i was lucky and was raised this way! i never new it had a name untill my dd1 was a few months old! for me it was just how you took care of a baby!

Susan, Mom to 4- Elizabeth 12, Hailey 9, Sammy 7, Caroline 3
UltimateSerj is offline  
#3 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 05:04 PM
 
Mummytwice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: North of the 49th
Posts: 514
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I heard 'officially' about AP when I was about three months gone with my first from my sister, but had always planned to raise my children in the same style as my mom did- I wouldn't have called her AP, but an aware parent. if AP groups had been there when she was raising babies, she would have been in there like a dirty shirt! She was very tuned into her childrens needs. But I gotta say that having a community such as MDC and the local groups really makes it easier.
Mummytwice is offline  
#4 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 05:06 PM
 
GooeyRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,951
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I knew I didn't want to parent my kids the way I was parented. I was not a happy child. So I do the opposite. I later found out that was called AP parenting.
GooeyRN is offline  
#5 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 05:08 PM
 
becoming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,592
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My parents were definitely not AP. In any way. They did CIO, thought they would spoil me if they held me, didn't breastfeed or babywear, etc. I had night terrors as a child, and I was still made to sleep in my own bed. Having said that, they really were great parents, and they are my best friends in the world now. They just weren't AP parents at all.

I found out about AP in November 2001. My oldest child was just a few weeks old. A girl named Aly who I posted with on another message board recommended these forums to me, and I've been here ever since.
becoming is offline  
#6 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 05:10 PM
 
popbaby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: North of Boston
Posts: 360
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Welcome Mummyc!

I wasn't raised that way...my mum gave me up for adoption and I was in foster care for 6 weeks...then my mum came back and got me. I don't know my biological father. I wasn't breastfed, and I have no idea how I was handled for those first 6 weeks.

I came upon this site when I was around 6 months pregnant. That's when I heard about Dr. Sears...I am soooooooooooooo thankful for MDC...the mamas on here have given me the confidence to do many things I may not even have thought about if I didn't happen upon this site.

Because of MDC, I had a natural birth with a mid-wife, I've become a lactavist, we babywear, co-sleep, don't vaccinate and so on. I am forever grateful.
popbaby is offline  
#7 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 05:15 PM
 
ann_of_loxley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Gloucestershire, UK
Posts: 5,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Cor..far from raised that way! I was taken from my mother when I was 3 years old and was in and out of foster care for the rest of my adolesent life! In many homes far far from AP!

When I get pregnant, I had this idea of how it should be. Considering my own childhood, I wanted to make sure my baby never had to go through what I have been through!...

I was 'doing' 'ap' and I didnt even know it! lol.... I didnt hear about AP until my son was...oh er....9 months old I think! lmao... It was nice though because all I have to so id say 'ap' basically and find like minded mothers on the web - forums such as these! - and if I need any help along this path called 'parenting'...I know where to look and who to ask for what I feel would suit this family best!

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
ann_of_loxley is offline  
#8 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 05:39 PM
 
MilkTrance's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: a small, old house
Posts: 5,022
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I first heard of it on a different message board, and I thought it was ridiculous. It sounded so difficult. And shouldn't babies be disciplined?

Once I had the baby, everything changed!

I wasn't raised AP. DH was, kind of. It shows in our personalities, and that's all I'm gonna say.
MilkTrance is offline  
#9 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 05:48 PM
 
jeliphish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,892
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It just sorta felt like instinct after I had DD. It's funny though, before I was pregnant I was like, "breastfeeding past a year is gross, and I will NEVER let a baby sleep with us." Funny how that all sorta just goes away the moment you look into their breathtaking little eyes.
I formally heard about it on The Nest, which I can't even go to anymore after joining MDC
My best friend was just like me before she was pregnant too and now she is captain crunchy.
That's why I don't get worked up anymore about what women say before they have children...it all changes.

Blessed with two BEAUTIFUL little girls: Kylie (09/06) and Maggie (4/09) :
jeliphish is offline  
#10 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 06:28 PM
 
Contrariety's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The UC
Posts: 2,226
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I never knew it had a name until well after DS was born. When thinking of how to raise my son, I looked to other cultures. I think Americans are SO far off kilter when it comes to parenting, and it is SO flippin' obvious that as a culture we're doing a bad job... all you have to do is visit the mall or other teenage hang out.

I'm an anthropologist. I study people. I knew that in other cultures, it wasn't nearly the same as it is here. Before I was even thinking about having kids, I knew that my own would sleep in my bed, go potty in a potty, breastfeed, ride in slings, etc.

AP parenting is evolutionarily sound, if you ask me. It's how babies are supposed to be raised. It just makes sense and feels soooooooo natural!
Contrariety is offline  
#11 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 06:58 PM
 
jo15's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 485
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, had no idea what I was doing was called AP. I just did what seemed right.
jo15 is offline  
#12 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 07:12 PM
 
annettemarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the Restricted Section
Posts: 34,451
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Bumping over to parenting issues since this is a general parenting topic

Flowers, fairies, gardens, and rainbows-- Seasons of Joy: 10 weeks of crafts, handwork, painting, coloring, circle time, fairy tales, and more!
Check out the blog for family fun, homeschooling, books, simple living, and 6 fabulous children, including twin toddlers

annettemarie is offline  
#13 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 07:20 PM
 
mama_ani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,788
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I first heard of AP when my mom gave me The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. I was 18 and pregnant and had never heard of anyone with ideas about parenting like I had.
Ironically I was raised the polar opposite of AP and my mom was against most of what I did (do) with my kids. She thought the book was just practical medical type baby day-to-day advice. I had so much fun defending my practices by saying "But Mom the book you gave me says ... "

mama to the Girls (15, 14, 13) and the Littles (5, 3) 
mama_ani is offline  
#14 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 07:20 PM
 
chinaKat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,145
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The year before my 1st pregnancy -- a pregnant friend had a copy of Sears' book... I picked it up and couldn't put it down. She gave me my own copy as a shower gift!

I found this site during my 1st pregnancy, a friend from another board pointed me here. The rest is history, I guess!
chinaKat is offline  
#15 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 07:33 PM
 
SomedayMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 945
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wasn't neccessarily raised AP, but it wasn't the opposite of it either. There were things like some CIO, formula feeding, and the occasional spanking, but they were overall great parents. I know I found out about AP long before I had children and it just sounded "right" to me. Most of it is natural.

Mom to a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and a cuddly little newborn
SomedayMom is offline  
#16 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 10:08 PM
 
Arwyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Twitter, RMB, PDX
Posts: 16,566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I fell down this slippery slope via natural birth and breastfeeding, and studying as a doula and then aspiring midwife. I was nursed until age 2, and disciplined mostly gently, and received mostly respectful parenting, but no real hallmarks of what's known as "attachment parenting" nowadays.

I too feel that what we call "AP" is just biologically normal parenting. It's what our genetics tell us to expect as babies, and to offer as parents.
Arwyn is offline  
#17 of 25 Old 10-03-2007, 10:57 PM
 
MichelleAnnette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 1,024
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was definitely raised very AP, but my parents are divorced and I never had much of a relationship with my father. Still have a very close relationship with my mom and she sees her grandbaby almost daily.
MichelleAnnette is offline  
#18 of 25 Old 10-04-2007, 12:56 AM
 
Jen_in_NH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 290
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I honestly didn't really think about it until I landed here looking for some info on cloth diapering. And then I found a bunch of parents whose ideas look somewhat similar to mine
Jen_in_NH is offline  
#19 of 25 Old 10-04-2007, 01:00 AM
 
hipmummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,043
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was raised AP and could not think of any other way to raise a child. As a nanny I always wore my charges,laid down in bed with them as never cIO's them.

:CLC,Doula :Mama to 2
hipmummy is offline  
#20 of 25 Old 10-04-2007, 05:27 AM
 
Imogen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: England
Posts: 2,298
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I first heard of the term when I came to MDC... however, I realised that I was already practising some techniques that were considered AP before I'd discovered the term. Motivated by my need NOT to mirror my biological Mother's behaviour... I wanted to be a completely different parent than she ever was.


Peace
Imogen is offline  
#21 of 25 Old 10-04-2007, 06:13 AM
 
AllisonR's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 3,100
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH is AP. He is webmaster for forældre og fødsel, which is basically MDC in Danish. So he's been around home birthing, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, long time breast feeding... mommas for 20 years or so. I was mainstream when I met him (I had no access or knowledge of anthing other than my culture). I'm at least as crunchy as he is now, maybe more so.
AllisonR is offline  
#22 of 25 Old 10-04-2007, 06:16 AM
 
lovebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: back in the GREAT state of Minnesota! oh how i have missed you!
Posts: 4,556
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A DEAR, DEAR friend that is a fellow MDC'er. then here on MDC. yes, she told me about the site : and i love her for it

Your life doesnât change by the man whos elected. If your loved by someone you can't be rejected... decide what to be and go be it! If your a caged bird brake in and demand that somebody free it.
lovebug is offline  
#23 of 25 Old 10-04-2007, 07:04 AM
 
Jennyfur's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Maryland
Posts: 128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I learned about it when I found Mothering magazine maybe 12 years ago.
Jennyfur is offline  
#24 of 25 Old 10-04-2007, 09:17 AM
 
marybethorama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Western MD
Posts: 3,376
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MilkTrance View Post
I first heard of it on a different message board, and I thought it was ridiculous. It sounded so difficult. And shouldn't babies be disciplined?

Once I had the baby, everything changed!
that was my experience. I thought the idea of "AP" was crazy. Then when I had my first, it just seemed right.

I was not raised in that way at all and it has caused a lot of conflict with the grandparents over the years.
marybethorama is offline  
#25 of 25 Old 10-04-2007, 09:30 AM
 
kblackstone444's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: MA
Posts: 3,729
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
I didn't "find out about" Attachment Parenting until my son was about 11 years old... and then I realized that I have pretty much been doing it from day one! I was just following my instincts- Baby cries, pick him up. Baby won't sleep by himself, bring him to bed with you. Why would someone want to spank their child? Why not breastfeed? It just never occurred to me NOT to do these things.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
kblackstone444 is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off