Thanks for all the moral support! I feel much less upset about this issue now that my PMS is clearing, but I am likely going to change the school she attends. It's not a perfect option, perhaps, but I think it will be better. The school I'm leaning towards has administrators who I jive with. They do assess kids and assign homework in older grades- but a lot of the pressure to do this comes from the parents, not the teachers or administrators.
I know I would rather be in a situation with no assessment and more free time- but I have 2 schools open to me right now, and they are both a lot better than where she currently goes. Maybe I'll considering HS'ing if I feel like I can't make it work at another school.
Much as I dislike education, I think I dislike public education the most. Public school serves too many interests other than the students'. Yesterday they told my dd to collect box tops for the school- to win some prize, and gave her a list of products that have the right kind of box tops. Like, I'm supposed to go out and buy these products?!?!?!?!?! YUCK!