Grandmothers & babysitting - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-09-2002, 03:31 PM
 
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I preferred my grandmother to my parents when I was three and four years old, and looked forward to my parents leaving for the weekend so Grandma and I could have some fun!

But, I think it totally depends on the individual situation and what you're comfortable with. You have to do what you think is right.

Mommy to eyesroll.gif (age 7) and mischievous.gif (age 3)

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Old 05-01-2006, 02:03 AM
 
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I agree with you. I am a grandmother of a three year old, and am totally in love with her, as she is with me. I have to confess that I'm an overprotective mother (like Ramunette seems to be), and totally get on my daughter's nerves with my constant cautions, but she would never have the lack of heart to step between my grandchild and myself, or keep us apart, which would be too heartbreaking for me to bare!

I wouldn't suggest that Ramunette leave the child with her mother if she's not comfortable, but I DO suggest that she at least let the child "play" with grandma while she herself relaxes back and suns and whatever while the child and grandparent has quality time together. LOTS of quality time!

I have my gr'daughter daily while my daughter works, and she only turned three last Sept., but LOVES to cook and work outdoors and do the many many things that mostly a grandmother has time on her hands to teach and bond. My Haven can scramble her own eggs, make mini pizzas and party snacks, and so far has planted mint, dill, sage and rosemary this spring, and THRILLED to shuck some Indian corn and see that "her work" is coming to life amidst nature and a little water for thirst.

I would be so sad if her mother hadn't allowed me the time and opportunity to teach and be with her, to bond with her, to absolutely love her more than I have ever loved any of my children. See, that's what grandmother's do, fall in love with that part of themselves that goes on and on, and the grandchild is the one thrill in life that just can't be topped by any possible blessing. I promise.

As a friend of mine put it, a granchild is one's reward for being a parent.

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Old 05-01-2006, 02:33 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Yaki
I would be so sad if her mother hadn't allowed me the time and opportunity to teach and be with her, to bond with her, to absolutely love her more than I have ever loved any of my children.
Depressed now...
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Old 05-01-2006, 10:13 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Serena
????:

You honestly can't understand why grandmothers would want to spend time alone with their grandchildren? I don't think the point is to "get mom out of the picture"; Closer bonding does happen when you can spend time one-on-one with someone. What is so hard to understand about that??? In my perspective, it's a real (s)mother who can't let anyone but her have any alone time with her child. Children thrive when lots of people love them, when they can form unique, special relationships with family and friends. Some of my most precious memories are of wonderful afternoons and weekends spent alone with my Grandmom. The point wasn't to get mom out of the picture: I had mom plenty of the time.

Why hoard and covet your own children? It seems a bit selfish to me.


I spent the night with both sets of grandparents and even once with a great aunt and great uncle. I remember the visits as being such fun. I have great memories. I do not feel that made my parents remiss in their responsibility to me, not at all.

I would love it if someone would want to take my children for a day. Especially my 2 older boys, ages 7 and 8. Me and DH never get to go out or spend any time alone. Of course, we are parents and do not expect the freedom we had before kids, but it would be nice to be alone every so often.

Now, that being said, I do agree that if there are real problems, like with drugs or drinking, abuse or blatent disrespect of the parents, then I can agree that perhaps overnight and/or frequent visits might not be a good thing. Otherwise, l see no problem.
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Old 05-01-2006, 12:12 PM
 
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I have a slightly different view and I hope you won't feel like I'm questioning your judgment but... couldn't you and dh just get over it and let the poor woman babysit for ds? It sounds like she loves him a lot and would like to form a relationship without you hovering. Grandmothers play a very important role in a child's life. She won't be around forever, and when she's gone it might make you feel better knowing that you allowed her to do this thing that was so important to her and made her so happy.

She raised you and you're still alive, not wandering around lost in a zoo or museum, right? She's your mom. Give her this respect and let her babysit is my vote.
ITA.

Being deaf is not a crime. Plenty of deaf people get married and have children, and manage not to lose them in zoos.

If you are afraid that the zoo is too chaotic of a visit together, suggest something different...drop them off at an ice cream parlor for lunch or something.
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Old 05-01-2006, 03:39 PM
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I want to respond to this thread, even though the original post looks like it went up in 2002!
Anyways, just wanted to chime in. I don't believe that the OP has so much of an issue with grandma's hearing or whatever, as they do with grandma herself. I just put up my own thread in the parenting forum about your relationship with your parents, vs your childs relationship with them. IMO - some ppl have issues with their parents and unconsciencly expose their children to their own personal views of the grandparent. I feel that relationships with grandparents, or any extended family should be fostered with your child - if there is no present danger. I really hope to some day have a relationship with my own grandchildren, they way my mum does with DS. What goes around, comes around.

Just my 2 cents.
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Old 05-01-2006, 07:47 PM
 
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I think it depends a lot on the child's age and temperment as well as the grandparents.

1.) Would they majorly undermine your authority and cause harm by doing so? If you say no junk and they give your dc a couple of doritos, they undermined your authority, but really was there any harm done? Now if you say no solids, and they're mixing formula and rice cereal, obviously that's completely different.

2.) Are they physically capable and does dc know and respect their physical limitations? Many grandparents can't out run young kids, but that doesn't make them unfit care takers if the child is old enough to be reasoned with and you can be sure they won't take off. Being deaf in one ear and not able to pick up a 4 yr old does not make an unfit caretaker IMO.

3.) If you feel the grandparents aren't physically capable of taking care of your dc, but mentally they are see if a friend of theirs can tag along to help out with what they can't.

4.) I do believe grandparents can have a better relationship if left alone with the grandchild. I know when I used to babysat, I acted a lot more silly - jumping around, pretending I was an elephant, etc. I never would have done that if the parents were around.
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