A saleswoman put her hands on my ds!!! Update post 16 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 09:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I took ds shopping with me yesterday. We went to a couple stores for him and then our last stop was a chain candle store. While we were in there he was hyper-not running around but giggling a lot really loudly. I was standing next to him smelling candles and he was looking at a candle holder shaped like a train (he loves trains) I was ok with him touching it and was even considering buying it. I didnt have my eyes on him 100% of the time because sometimes I had my head turned to look at candles. I didnt think it was a big deal because he is usually very trustworthy in stores. All of a sudden I hear him scream at the top of his lungs. The saleswoman (in her 20s) forcefully grabbed his wrist and tugged it away from the candleholder and said in his face "don't touch that!" in an angry voice while still grabbing his wrist and pointing her finger in his face. I was SHOCKED! I grabbed him away from her and said "who do you think you are. you have no business touching my child!" and her reply was "Well you werent watching him and I didnt want him touching the candle holder" I was so angry I was steaming I told her that she could be charged with assault and I will be informing corporate about what happened and left. :::::

Mother of 3, welcomed a new baby girl July 2011

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#2 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 10:01 AM
 
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The saleswoman (in her 20s) forcefully grabbed his wrist and tugged it away from the candleholder and said in his face "don't touch that!" in an angry voice while still grabbing his wrist and pointing her finger in his face.

Oh no!

You have more composure than I do. I was recently at a store where a fellow customer (way more calm than your saleswoman) told me to spank a 19mo baby. I wish i had any caustic and quippy responses, but the truth of the matter is all I could process is there is a person before me who wants to hit my baby, and I left as fast as I could! Yes, Ive been dwelling on it for days now.:

the salesmonster in your case overstepped. I would at least consider seriously filing an assault charge even if it is laughed at by the police. Complaining up and down to the corporation is definitely a good idea.

Im sorry this happened to your child, or to anyones!
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#3 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 10:10 AM
 
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That's unnerving. I think I give off a mama bear look- nobody ever criticizes me in public. Even moreso when my DH is with me, he for sure gives off a papa bear look too.

You had a good response. I don't know if I could get out the words I would have wanted to say in that situation.
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#4 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 10:12 AM
 
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Wow, that's awful. You did well, though. I really hope I would react like you did in that situation.
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#5 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 10:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My instinct was to put her through a window but of course I didnt do that!

Mother of 3, welcomed a new baby girl July 2011

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#6 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 10:14 AM
 
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Your dc is adorable, btw.
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#7 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 10:16 AM
 
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I think your response was very appropriate. Have you written your letter to corporate yet? I'm interested to read it and hear how they respond.

It turns out that moderation is the key to good parenting.  Too bad we aren't allowed to talk about that here.

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#8 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Aww thanks Fireant! Hey didn't I talk to you in chat the other day...

Yes I just wrote an email to corporate. I basically said the same thing I said in my post describing what happened. Ill update if and when I get a response.

Mother of 3, welcomed a new baby girl July 2011

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#9 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 10:25 AM
 
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ugh. Evena as someone who worked in retail for years, her behaivior was uncalled for. Children are just that, children. They often do not realize they have over stepped their bounds and a gentle reminder is all it takes. If that fails she should have asked you politely to make sure your child did not play with the displays. There are many times parents and children do not realize how unstable and dangerous certain displays can be, for example we had a shoe display where the glass tabletop was no secured to the stand. We actully had a child pull it off. He didn't hurt himself thank goodness, but the parent yelled at me for it, after I had already asked him to make sure his child didn't play with the displays. Store clerks are not babysitters. That goes two ways though, just as you can't rely on them to watch your children, they have no right to touch or yell at them. Courtesy is part of the job description. It seems to me your DC was exibiting normal child behaivior and the clerk over reacted. Sorry you had to go through this.

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#10 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 10:49 AM
 
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Aww thanks Fireant! Hey didn't I talk to you in chat the other day...
That's me!
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#11 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 10:56 AM
 
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Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.

Oh HE** no!

I would have attacked her. And, no, I don't think that's going too far. DO NOT grab my kid. If it's ok for you to do it, it's darn well ok for you to GET it...and, honey, you would! :

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#12 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 11:02 AM
 
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I am so sorry. I would have been SO angry. I hope you hear back from corporate.
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#13 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 02:06 PM
 
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Unbelievable! When I worked in retail (HS and College years), I never touched a child unless I was helping them up if they had fallen or tripped. Grrrr! I am furious for you.

I had a rude saleslady incident at Sears a few weeks ago. My son (19 months old) was looking a child's slipper that was on display. He was obsessed with it because it was in the shape of a car and was so happy looking at it and saying "cahr" 1,000 times in a row. So, I was just standing there with him letting him have his fun and from nowhere a saleslady is trying to take the slipper out of his hands and is acting snippy towards him. I quickly said to her in a equally snippy voice, that he is just looking at it and I will put it back on the display when we are finished. What the heck? I was so mad and my incident didn't even involve the saleslady actually touching my son.

Leah- wife to Chris : SAHM to Henry (03/06)and to Evelyn : (06/08). She is our heart attack survivor at 3.5 weeks and went on to have open heart surgery at 5 weeks for Coarctation of the Aorta.
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#14 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 02:16 PM
 
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OMG wow I would have totally flipped out. Can't wait to hear what corporate has to say.
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#15 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 02:24 PM
 
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Wow she was completely out of line! I'd have asked to speak to the manager.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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#16 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 03:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just got an email from the store:

Hello,

My name is xxxxxxxx and I am the Consumer Affairs Manager for the
xxxx xxxx Company. I just received the E-mail you sent to us and I
simply cannot imagine what our employee was thinking. I have contacted
the district manager in the Florida area as well as the store you
visited for their feedback to this. Please understand that we are
taking this very seriously and apologize for the inconvenience that this
incident has caused you and your son. Please feel free to call me
anytime during the week at 1800-xxx-xxxx

Sincerely,
xxx xxxxxxxx
Consumer Affairs Manager
Retail Operations

Mother of 3, welcomed a new baby girl July 2011

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#17 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 03:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jokerama View Post
I just got an email from the store:

Hello,

My name is xxxxxxxx and I am the Consumer Affairs Manager for the
xxxx xxxx Company. I just received the E-mail you sent to us and I
simply cannot imagine what our employee was thinking. I have contacted
the district manager in the Florida area as well as the store you
visited for their feedback to this. Please understand that we are
taking this very seriously and apologize for the inconvenience that this
incident has caused you and your son. Please feel free to call me
anytime during the week at 1800-xxx-xxxx

Sincerely,
xxx xxxxxxxx
Consumer Affairs Manager
Retail Operations

Are you going to let it go? Sue? Just curious about your response. Personally, I think they handled it really well. Prompt and obviously will be doing something about that employee. I'm pretty impressed with that!
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#18 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 03:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jokerama View Post
I just got an email from the store:

Hello,

My name is xxxxxxxx and I am the Consumer Affairs Manager for the
xxxx xxxx Company. I just received the E-mail you sent to us and I
simply cannot imagine what our employee was thinking. I have contacted
the district manager in the Florida area as well as the store you
visited for their feedback to this. Please understand that we are
taking this very seriously and apologize for the inconvenience that this
incident has caused you and your son. Please feel free to call me
anytime during the week at 1800-xxx-xxxx

Sincerely,
xxx xxxxxxxx
Consumer Affairs Manager
Retail Operations

Wow--I have to say that I am quite impressed with this response! Not only do they validate you in your experience but they even apologized! This is good stuff. What would burn me is if the store bs'ed you and told you crud like "our employees are trained and would not approach a situation as you have described in that manner..." or some other bs response...I've seen that, too, unfortunately.
Good for you. I'm glad you followed through...this also leads me to think about kids who could be grabbed by some stranger who does NOT work for a store and taken because they believed that they were really in trouble.
I think that there should be a hands off policy for ALL employees in retail when dealing with customers unless the parent allows it for either safety reasons or to demonstrate a product. Yk?
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#19 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 03:45 PM
 
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Oh No! I would be taking butt right back up there after DH got home to keep the kids and complain in person to her supervisor and let them know you already went to corprate. and i would probably need my DH there with me (someone else would need to keep dc) to remind me not to hurt that woman.
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#20 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 05:47 PM
 
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Okay ladies, is it just me or does attacking the saleslady seem a little much? I can understand anger and letters to the company, but violence? I thought returning hurt for hurt never got anyone anywhere.

One Mom, Three Kids. Life is Great.

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#21 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 05:47 PM
 
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Your response to the clerk was great! The only thing that came to my mind would have been to add something like:

"If you were concerned you should have spoken to me. If he would have broken it we would be required to and would have paid for it. What you've just done is assaulted a child. Never touch another person's child. I need the name and number of your supervisor."

Hugs to you. I'm glad they responded to your email the way they did. They need to take it seriously. Keep us posted.
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#22 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 05:51 PM
 
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If he would have broken it we would be required to and would have paid for it.
Actually, my understanding is no, you don't have to pay for it - that's why they have insurance, regardless of their signs and what they tell you.
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#23 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 05:52 PM
 
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I'm willing to bet that the candle holder was that unbreakable "resin" stuff, anyway.

The salesperson probably has a problem with anger. I think sometimes people like that, especially young adults, see how kids get treated by their own parents - mainstream discipline, public yelling/spanking etc - and erroneously conclude that kids are fair game for everyone.

Especially considering that a lot of parents would have said "oh, they don't want you to touch that, Johnny!" and apologized to the salesperson.
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#24 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 05:56 PM
 
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My family owns a small retail store with a gift department. We sell all sorts of candles and breakable things. We *do* have signs up asking that customers not bring the big carts into that part of the store and to not leave their children anywhere in the store unattended. That said... there is NO WAY we would ever ask a customer to pay for something that was broken by accident. There is no way that any employee of the store would touch or threaten or reprimand someone else's child. No freaking way.
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#25 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 06:02 PM
 
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What a refreshing response from corporate! I would follow up with corporate and with the store manager .. that type of insane behavior needs to be handled. I'm sure your son is far from the only child ever to go into that candle store and touch something, kwim?

You showed excellent restraint and had a perfect response. The few times we've had incidents, I'm usually in shock and have nothing to say. Then I sit and fume about it for days, thinking of all the smart responses I could have said!

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#26 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 06:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jokerama View Post
I just got an email from the store:

Hello,

My name is xxxxxxxx and I am the Consumer Affairs Manager for the
xxxx xxxx Company. I just received the E-mail you sent to us and I
simply cannot imagine what our employee was thinking. I have contacted
the district manager in the Florida area as well as the store you
visited for their feedback to this. Please understand that we are
taking this very seriously and apologize for the inconvenience that this
incident has caused you and your son. Please feel free to call me
anytime during the week at 1800-xxx-xxxx

Sincerely,
xxx xxxxxxxx
Consumer Affairs Manager
Retail Operations
This must be very scary to CS because the employee was acting directly as an agent of this company, and trying to protect the companys interest in their actions. This employee has in the last few hours been identified as a loose cannon. (I would not call them or anything just yet. See what they say. My $0.01, not even $0.02, because it is such unsolicited advice to electronic hearsay) I learn alot from MDC!
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#27 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 06:37 PM
 
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I'd like to think I'd of stood up to her like you did, I probably wouldn't have though. Isn't that sad? I think I would have found that whole situation intimidating and just left and never gone back. I wish I had the gumption you do...at least you told here what was what.

I've never had someone do that to one of my children although there have been plenty of times it could have happened. I did get thanked (sincerely) once for for removing my child who was raising a ruckus in a store.

I just can't believe that someone, a stranger, would touch your child. : That's pretty ballsey.

 

 

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#28 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 06:52 PM
 
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Wow. I'm so impressed that you were able to say anything to her. Good for you! Did you manage to get her name, too? I always forget to ask for people's names!

Trish: Mama to Buckaroo , Sweet P :, and Obo Difficult wife of Rick :
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#29 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 07:13 PM
 
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[QUOTE=Gremco;9610333] Children are just that, children. They often do not realize they have over stepped their bounds and a gentle reminder is all it takes.QUOTE]
Handling a dispaly is not stepping over bounds is it?
I handle stuff I like and consider buying everytime I go out. Dd always does too, she is 5.
No one has ever said anything to dd or I about it.

I am glad you stood up for your child. That was wrong of that salesperson to interfere at all.
I like the response you got though!

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#30 of 60 Old 11-02-2007, 07:24 PM
 
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Okay ladies, is it just me or does attacking the saleslady seem a little much? I can understand anger and letters to the company, but violence? I thought returning hurt for hurt never got anyone anywhere.
Yeah, I'm really uncomforatble with some of these reactions. Apparently being gentle only extends to our own children.

This is a really good reason to keep an eye on our kids in stores. If you don't appear to be doing it, you open the door for someone to do it for you. It may not be right, but clearly it happens. I'd way rather keep my own child close and help her investigate things than have some stranger do it for me.
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