WWYD if you had sextuplets? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 10:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is a S/O of the jon and kate plus 8 thread in television. They are a couple who had twins and then sextuplets.

One of the ideas that keeps coming up in the thread is, "If I had sextuplets I couldn't be AP either."

I'm just curious-- what WOULD you do as an AP parents if sextuplets landed on your lap?

Would you breastfeed? Cosleep? Do scheduled naps? Scheduled meals? What would you be able to maintain and what would you sacrifice?

I think I would divide the kids 3/3 even if it meant giving up a bedroom and sleeping in an unorthodox place myself. I would make my own sleep a priority so that I would be able to function, so I probably wouldn't cosleep and I might do scheduled naps. I wouldn't do scheduled meals, though, I would let the kids "graze." As far as breastfeeding when they were infants : I have no clue what I would do.

I would basically try to make the house or certain rooms as kid safe as possible so there would be limited dangers if I were not watching them constantly.

It's really hard for me to imagine though!
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#2 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 10:47 AM
 
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I wonder about the breastfeeding. I'm on another board with someone who has twins. She doesn't produce enough milk for even one baby (this are #s 3 and 4; she's tried everything), but she still nurses the babies sometimes, along with formula. I'd like to think that I'd still nurse some, just not all 6, all the time. :

Even with one baby, we have the same naptimes, snack times, and mealtimes every day. It just fell into place, and my brain loves it. So, absolutely, with 6, that's what I would do.
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#3 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 10:54 AM
 
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As an AP parent, I think it is it a lot about being intuitive with our kids. I would parent from the heart as best as I could. Breastfeed as much as I could, co-sleep, etc. You could put a king size bed and a twin together to sleep with all those babies. I think it depends on the person.

I do not schedule meals now. I wouldn't do it then either. I would make a room that we could hang out in that is child safe. I really am into playing with my kids and being with them so I guess it would be x6. I clean and do laundry at night. I think I would cook on the weekends and freeze for that many people.

Having 6 is not even a possiblity for me since I do not believe in IVF.
This is just all my opinion. It is not meant to offend.

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#4 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 10:58 AM
 
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Well, my religious beliefs wouldn't allow me to use fertility treatments, and I'm not sure if it ever happens naturally? I would breastfeed but I know I'd have to employ bottles, either of EBM or formula. I would have all the kids in my room probably,and rotate them out of the bed througout the night (2-3 in bed at a time).
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#5 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:10 AM
 
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honest to god i think I'd have to hire a nanny!
I would probably not cosleep. I would have three of them in each crib together as multiples are supposed to do best when kept together (when they are tiny). Then probably try to let them cosleep (3 to a bed) in a double bed as they get bigger???
Breastfeeding- I'd do my best but probably supplement everyone with formula.
I schedule meals now (with lots of snacking allowed) and would do that the same.
good lord, I really don't know. I'd be really overwhelmed and would need way more help then they seem to. I'd definitely have a maid come do the deep cleaning stuff once a week.
I've heard a few cases of quadruplets and quintuplets happening naturally, so I guess It's always a possibility!
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#6 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:13 AM
 
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Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.
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#7 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:14 AM
 
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Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.
I was JUSt about to say that.

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#8 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:14 AM
 
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I'd still be, what I believe, is AP.. but in order to make sure everyone was fed, changed, etc, there would be a schedule. We'd all co-sleep, but I don't see how I could have six infants all on demand feeding and not have a quiet one slip through the cracks. If money wasn't an issue I'd hire lots of help and then maybe could. If money wasn't an issue I'd be looking into milk bank milk as well. I'd breastfeed all I could, but I don't think I'd be hooked up to a pump all the time.

Twins run in my family... I've thought about twins a lot, but realistically I doubt I'd ever have more than 2 at once. Twins I'd be the same as I am with my singleton, I'd just have to figure out how to nurse two at once and still sleep

Interesting question
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#9 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:15 AM
 
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What would I do? Well, first I would FREAK OUT. Okay, then after getting over the shock, I would still try to integrate some AP practices.

BFing - I doubt it, since I didn't make enough milk for even one baby. My breastmilk was like liquid gold and we had to supplement w/ formula which really saddened me. I got over it, though, and we have a very healthy little boy, and I'm glad he had the breastmilk he did. I would try to produce some so that each child could get a little.

Cosleep? Probably take turns and play it by ear.

Scheduled meals? I would feed on demand when they were little and probably try to head towards a schedule.

Naps? Same as meals. When they were tiny babies they would do what they do, but try to get all 6 kids on a similar sleeping schedule (I have no idea HOW though)

Babywearing - take turns.

The thing is, too, is even if you are very much against CIO (which I am) I don't see a practical way that you could attend to all the babies if they are crying at once. I know a mom who has triplets and she has struggled with this, so I don't see a way around it w/ 6!!!

I would also hope to have some help somehow, so that I could maintain my own sanity.

Personally, I wouldn't do IVF (and I have nothing against it, it is just not something *I* would do) so this is all speculation for fun.
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#10 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:17 AM
 
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Just for the record, it's not IVF that produces sextuplets. IVF transfers back 2-3 embryos the vast majority of the time (occasionally four in an "older" woman with many failures.) Never six.

Injectables + IUI gives you sextuplets, if poorly monitored.

crafty mama to Chloe and Emma (10/08) and Piper
emergency medicine PA and single mother by choice
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#11 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:17 AM
 
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I think I would co-sleep, but it would probably me just me and the kids. I can't imagine hubby being willing to sleep with that many babies in the bed! I found when DD was born (and DS was still chronically ill) that as long as I got one good shift of sleep per week, I could make it fine.

I'd definitely hire someone for help with housework. It would just be too exhausting to do it all the time.

Right now DS eats as he wants. We do have mealtimes (not a set time everyday, but a time when we all sit together), but we have snacks on a low shelf that he's free to get as he wants. I'd probably expand that and make it more out in the open with that many kids.

It's us: DH , DS ; DD ; and me . Also there's the . And the 3 . I . Oh, and .
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#12 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:18 AM
 
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I think i wouldn't exclusively nurse the babes, but i would try and pump as much as i could (if i ever had time) and mix the milk with their bottles of formula, or else rotate them thruought the day. Nursing one or two at a time. I think ap is just listening to your heart and doing what is best for your family. As for cosleeping, if i could have all 6 sleep at the same time, it would probably be in their own rooms, 3 to a crib at first (hey, they are still cosleeping, just not with me) and hopefully i would get some sleep.
As far as keeping the house clean or doing much of anything else , i probably wouldn't and i would have to hire help for sure. I'm not near organized enough .
It scares me to just imagine.:

E Veg*n Mom to ds 6 : dd 3
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#13 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:20 AM
 
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I only have 1 dc and feel parenting AP style is so much easier with 1. plenty of room in our king size bed, no issues of weaning during pg -child or adult led. There's just no way to sling several dc. I think 2 infants would be my max to carry.

IF I ever had several at on time I could easily see myself having a nanny, full-time with 6dc! I would consider having the dc co-sleep with eachother as being AP

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#14 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:25 AM
 
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Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.
That, on the incredibly remote chance that I would ever engage in risky fertility-treatment behavior*.

I don't think that I could parent that many same-aged children responsibly, which to me includes some/many aspects of AP.

* By risky, I mean treatments that are even slightly more likely to result in anything more than twins.

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#15 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:27 AM
 
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First off, I'd sue my doctor. Implanting sextuplets is unethical and should be illegal. We're women. We do have multiple births, which is more rare and special but we do not have litters of babies. That's cat territory. And have you ever watched a mama cat who has had it with her litter? She just gets up, walks away, and the kittens fall off her boobies wherever they fall and then make their way back to bed. And then mama cat hides for awhile and spends an inordinate amount of time grooming her butt.

Secondly, I'd selectively reduce.

I don't think you could AP sextuplets WELL. You can't cosleep with each baby and gaze into each other's eyes in the middle of the night - you're always feeding or diapering someone. I would guess that their entire childhoods would be something like that.

And I would have done IUI or IVF if it had come to it. I just believe fertility treatments need to be handled more ethically.

Around here, there's a family that had six babies when my DD was born. Not only were they on TV every night complaining how much money it took to raise their babies but they always went on and on about how marvelous it was to have those babies. Two of them are/were institutionalized because of their severe brain damage due to their premature birth and have never been home with her. It may be a very nice insititution but it still isn't a mama!! And I think one is already dead due to infections. Not the greatest life for anyone.

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#16 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:31 AM
 
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First off, I'd sue my doctor. Implanting sextuplets is unethical and should be illegal.
Again, you do NOT implant (IVF) six embryos, IVF does not lead to high numbers. If your going to go down that road, questioning fertility treatments, please try to get things straight.

Sorry if I appear bitchy but we are starting fertility treatments and you can not imagine the number of people that tell me, just don't implant 6 babies. Thats not how it works...
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#17 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 11:40 AM
 
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Sorry if I appear bitchy but we are starting fertility treatments and you can not imagine the number of people that tell me, just don't implant 6 babies. Thats not how it works...
I'm sorry people say that to you. I can only imagine having to go through fertility treatments
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#18 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 12:28 PM
 
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Not sure if this is the case with John and Kate, but I could have sworn I was watching another similar show where the reason they had the high number (5-6 fetuses) was because they implanted 3-4, and two of them spontaneously "twinned". I admit I was sleep deprived but I don't think I misunderstood the whole show. I remember in the case of the couple on the show, two of them died in utero on their own, late in the pg. : So I'm just throwing this out there that it is possible to get more than you implant with your IVF.

As to the OP, I think I would panic, then panic some more! LOL Adding 6 to my five would be interesting to say the least! But I have a feeling I would be MUCH less AP with six than with my one-at-a-timers. I would do my best to be as close and individually responsive as I could, though - like one of the other posters said, "parenting from the heart" for each child.

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#19 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 12:35 PM
 
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Great thread! Cool to think about it.

Let's see....I'd cosleep with any high needs children, or sick ones. The rest would be pared up 2 to 3 so that they could co-sleep with each other.
I'd breastfeed and formula feed. My nutrition and health would keep me from breastfeeding all of my children all of the time, but all of them some of the time would be doable.

Forget about the sling.LOL I'd have one or two slings, but I'd probably have some kind of contraption and help. So, at the park, I'd be wearing one or two and have someone helping me.

I'd probably still use cloth diapers because I don't find them to be an inconvenience,but it would be paper at night because I don't want to wake for leaks.

Our dr. would have to make a housecall.LOL I have a hard enough time taking my 3 children out of the house, much less 6 additional children. Oh, darn and I'd have to get one of those ugly vans that guzzle gas.

Ok, this thread is now just making me tired.LOL
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#20 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 12:38 PM
 
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Just for the record, it's not IVF that produces sextuplets. IVF transfers back 2-3 embryos the vast majority of the time (occasionally four in an "older" woman with many failures.) Never six.

Injectables + IUI gives you sextuplets, if poorly monitored.
Or Injectiable with just SEX - is that against religions, too? I thought it was just the handling of the sperm that was a no-no? I believe the McCaughey's had their IUI cancelled due to too many eggs and chose to have sex anyway, and they ended up with their 7 children.
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#21 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 12:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jennifer3141 View Post
First off, I'd sue my doctor. Implanting sextuplets is unethical and should be illegal. We're women. We do have multiple births, which is more rare and special but we do not have litters of babies. That's cat territory. And have you ever watched a mama cat who has had it with her litter? She just gets up, walks away, and the kittens fall off her boobies wherever they fall and then make their way back to bed. And then mama cat hides for awhile and spends an inordinate amount of time grooming her butt.

Secondly, I'd selectively reduce.

I don't think you could AP sextuplets WELL. You can't cosleep with each baby and gaze into each other's eyes in the middle of the night - you're always feeding or diapering someone. I would guess that their entire childhoods would be something like that.

And I would have done IUI or IVF if it had come to it. I just believe fertility treatments need to be handled more ethically.

Around here, there's a family that had six babies when my DD was born. Not only were they on TV every night complaining how much money it took to raise their babies but they always went on and on about how marvelous it was to have those babies. Two of them are/were institutionalized because of their severe brain damage due to their premature birth and have never been home with her. It may be a very nice insititution but it still isn't a mama!! And I think one is already dead due to infections. Not the greatest life for anyone.
First, in IVF they don't "Implant" embryos. They transfer them. They implant on their own ONLY if conditions are right and the embryo is viable. And it's not black/white/cookie-cutter. Some patients, like most of the women you will hear about with HOM, have PCOS, which means they don't ovulate but when you give them even a TINY amount of FSH they will make several+ eggs. THESE are definitely patients REs need to be VERY careful with, and I do agree with that. I don't know what the % is for this type of patient, but there are MANY other types of patients out there needing care, and their problems are a LOT more complicated and may need more aggresive treatment. To say "NEVER transfer more than 1 or 2" or "NEVER stimulate for IUI more than 1 or 2 eggs" - which is true of some women - would be a HUGE disservice to other women - and again, THESE women who NEED the aggressive treatment are not the usual types you hear about getting HOM.

Edited to answer the OP:
After 6 years of infertility, if I were to somehow get pregnant with 6 (NEVER would have happened) I would find myself devastated, as the CHANCES of carrying as long as Jon and Kate is super unlikely. I would feel my only choice was to reduce to twins to increase the chances of live babies at the end. It would be heartbreaking and would consume my entire pregnancy, I'm sure.
If somehow I got 6 thrust on me (Jon and Kate left them to me) I'd just try to do the best I could. No point in trying to 'GUESS' how I'd handle it when I've had ONE child for the past 8 years - I have NO idea.
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#22 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 01:01 PM
 
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All I can come up with is, "Run. Run far, far away!" :

Mama to H (6) B (3) : A (1)
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#23 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 01:04 PM
 
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I would run away. :
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#24 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 01:04 PM
 
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All I can come up with is, "Run. Run far, far away!" :
, Should have read ahead, lol.
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#25 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 01:04 PM
 
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I think I would have to have a strategic plan in place to prevent me from committing suicide.

I think if you have that many newborns that you CANNOT commit to a parenting style--you do what needs to be done so hopefully you can survive until the fun part.

I think having sextuplet toddlers would be a gas, though.
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#26 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 01:05 PM
 
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I'd probably schedule. I'd sleep in the room with the babies, and let my DH sleep in another room. I'd beg, borrow and steal money to get a nanny helper.

I'd still sling, but I'd have to play it by ear as to who needed it. And then go out of my way to notice the one's that don't seem to need it and do it for them too because they probably do and just don't know it.


But I probably wouldn't do the type of treatment that would cause this many babies. Then again, I don't have that problem so I can't really say that sure and certain.
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#27 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 01:08 PM
 
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Twins I'd be the same as I am with my singleton, I'd just have to figure out how to nurse two at once and still sleep
I've got to say, as a twin mom...you're never the same with them as you are with singleton. And nursing is the easiest (at least barring latch problems and supply problems) part of the equation. Nursing the boys was no harder than nursing my girl.

However...just about everything else was. You simply do not have enough arms to be "the same" with your twins as you are with a singleton, particularly if you already have a singleton or two that needs you as well.
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#28 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 01:09 PM
 
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, Should have read ahead, lol.
I couldn't believe I was the first to say it!

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#29 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 01:09 PM
 
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Well, my religious beliefs wouldn't allow me to use fertility treatments, and I'm not sure if it ever happens naturally? I would breastfeed but I know I'd have to employ bottles, either of EBM or formula. I would have all the kids in my room probably,and rotate them out of the bed througout the night (2-3 in bed at a time).
Ditto. As for snacks when they are older, I'd do the muffin tray and just refill it a lot. As is, we already do breakfast, lunch and dinner at roughly the same times. And I'd just buy a ton of cloth diapers (kissaluvs probably) and do a lot of laundry.

Mama of three.
 
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#30 of 221 Old 11-07-2007, 01:10 PM
 
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We did (minor) fertility drugs to concieve ds2, and are considering it again for late next year if we haven't concieved #3 naturally - and we won't. Lets just say that my fallopian tubs/ovaries were royally effed up by a very crappy doc.

Dh and I never even considered the possibility of multiples w/ ds2. I dunno why, it just never occured to us. But we've met, since then a gazillion people who had twins and triplets - and one girl with quads! - w/ the same method we used. So we talked about it and determined we could never selectively reduce. If we were blessed w/ multiples, we'd figure it out. Twins, we'd breastfed. Anything beyond that, probably not. The babies would co-sleep with eachother. I would babywear - I think you'd have to avoid CIO, and I just can't do CIO, no matter how many kids. And I'd probably schedule feedings depending on the kids needs. If I had enough assistance, I'd totally cloth diaper. But I'd need someone to help w/ laundry. LOL If the kids took pureed baby food, I'd make my own. I'd probably really piss off my kids pediatrician. Many times.
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