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#121 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 03:57 PM
 
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She is warning other neighbors about him....that seems fairly conclusive.

Your opinion is that his behavior was inappropriate, but that doesn't mean it was.
I would value and trust the opinion of a trained sex abuse investigtor regarding the behavior. If someone with years of professional experince says it's OK, then I'll accept it. Until then, I want that second opinion.
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#122 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 03:58 PM
 
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Let's go back to the orignal post and review the facts as they were reported by the OP.

-----------------------
......the Step dad never let her go. Litterally. He touched and kissed her the whole evening. It was so creepy.

He had her back to his front, and kept his hands on her chest the whole night. He rubbed her stomach, and he kissed her roughly on top of the head about six times. When they sat on a bench, he pulled her in really close, and had both arms wrapped around her. She watched the kids playing, but never attempted to break free from the step dad. She didn't look comfortable either though. She didn't look scared, just like she would rather be sitting normal, or off playing.

The Mom didn't seem bothered by it at all. But, the other moms and a few of the dads were bothered by it.

The other ten year old asked her to come play, She said "Can I?" and the step dad, said, "Why don't you just sit with me for a while".....

---------------------------------------

OK, if you feel this is appropriate interaction for an adult male with a 10 year old girl, we've got a difference of opinion.
You are reading one persons perception. Were you there? And as for what is appropriate for a 10 year old girl? Our opinion is different. I could care less if the 10 year old is a boy or a girl, if they are not UNCOMFORTABLE with the parent child relationship, then it is not your place to judge it.

If the child seems to be in distress, if the child is uncomfortable, or if the child looks to be abused then that is when you report it to CPS. Not the neighborhood.



I hope my kids still snuggle me when they are 10. I know I snuggled my dad until I was 12 and my brother who was 15 made fun of me for it. As for kissing on the head and face? That is also to comfort level. I am not comfortable kissing ANYONE on the lips other than my DP and my mom. Still today I kiss my mom on the lips. Is that any more inappropriate? I kissed my mom on the lips my entire life, and my DP kissed her father on the lips until he passed away a couple years ago.


What is 'appropriate' doesn't nessesarily have to line up with YOUR comfort level. However, don't get me wrong. I am not saying everything was on the up and up. I wasn't there. I am ALL FOR spending more time with the family and get a feel for if something really is off, because if something IS off, then there needs to be phone calls.


But I am against passing judgement after one encounter.

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#123 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:00 PM
 
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I would value and trust the opinion of a trained sex abuse investigtor regarding the behavior. If someone with years of professional experince says it's OK, then I'll accept it. Until then, I want that second opinion.
Then report it. Don't tell the neighbors someone is a child molester if you have no proof. It's fine to ask THEM if they noticed anything off, but if they haven't, I am not for poisoning the wells.



Sheesh. Would hate to move into a neighborhood, be myself, and have half the neighborhood ready to get militia to call me out.

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#124 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:05 PM
 
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You are reading one persons perception. Were you there? And as for what is appropriate for a 10 year old girl? Our opinion is different. I could care less if the 10 year old is a boy or a girl, if they are not UNCOMFORTABLE with the parent child relationship, then it is not your place to judge it.

If the child seems to be in distress, if the child is uncomfortable, or if the child looks to be abused then that is when you report it to CPS. Not the neighborhood..
The OP stated that the child did not look comfortable. To me, that means the child looked uncomfortable. A major red flag.

I think the OP needs to call an expert / CPS / the police to get their advice. I agree the OP should not be gossiping, and I don't think she has been.

And, I applaud nextcommercial for looking out for her neighbor's child. This is exactly what I think of when I think of the phrase it takes a village. We do need to look out for each other when we sense trouble especially considering children who may be unable to protect themselves.
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#125 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:10 PM
 
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Then report it. Don't tell the neighbors someone is a child molester if you have no proof. It's fine to ask THEM if they noticed anything off, but if they haven't, I am not for poisoning the wells.



Sheesh. Would hate to move into a neighborhood, be myself, and have half the neighborhood ready to get militia to call me out.
I have no indication the OP labled anyone as a child molester.
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#126 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:15 PM
 
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Well, the OP is the only person in this discussion who actually saw the way he was touching/handling his stepdaughter with her own two eyes. A picture is worth a thousand words, and all that.

Furthermore, there were other adults there who saw the same thing and who (according to the OP, assuming she's telling the truth) felt similarly to the way the OP feels about it. I don't know what those conversations were really like. Was the OP going around saying "hey, don't you think he's weird? huh? huh?" and the neighbors responded "hm, I guess you might be right..." or did they have the same idea on their own and share it mutually? If the OP is a busybody going around projecting/planting her own ideas with other people, that would be troubling, but I see nothing concrete in her posts to indicate that.

So if multiple adults who actually saw it were uncomfortable - including the teacher neighbor, a trained mandated reporter - that says something. I agree that going around the neighborhood talking about it is not a good strategy. But having somebody else's runaway kid in the house at 7 a.m., and giving the kid a toy, instead of, say, immediately contacting her parents, HUGE red flag. I do think parents have a right to discuss what's going on in their children's environment with the other parents.

However I do agree that you need more information and the only way to get it is to interact with this family more. OTOH I think a lot of PPs are looking through the world with rose-colored glasses ...there are people out there who are so creepy you can sense it immediately, and the OP and her neighbors very well may have met one of them.

For some reason when things like this come up a lot of people immediately identify with the suspected person and start crying witch hunt and invent all sorts of convoluted reasons why this person whom they've never met is beyond reproach. Like, maybe she was grounded??????? : Who "grounds" a ten year old from playing with other kids in the parents' presence? What kind of "grounding" involves being required to cuddle your stepdad for extended periods of time????

It's interesting how despite the fact that we all know the statistics on molestation, even on MDC women are routinely shamed into turning a blind eye if they become suspicious of a man's interactions with a young girl. It shows how deep male privilege really runs in our social consciousness.
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#127 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:21 PM
 
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I think that investigating should be left to people whose jobs it is to conduct criminal investigations. And that suspicious behavior should be reported to the authorities who are trained to investigate.

And I don't see how the OP is doing any hanging of the new neighbor.

If she calls the police she is not hanging either, she is expressing her concerns and the police will determine if those concerns are valid or whether they should be dismissed.

And I assume that if there is an investigation and the family is OK, the OP will accept that, be delighted and get on with life. She's not out for blood, but she wants something that doesn't seem quite right to be checked out.
I think it would be great if the family was investigated, found to be fine, and OP wouldn't continue to doubt them. I don't see that happening a lot of the time. Even if the OP has no issues with the nothing being found, the rest of the neighborhood may still have doubts. Now you have a little girl who isn't allowd to have the kids from the neighborhood over and a neighborhood distancing themselves for no reason at all. It never comes out good.

What is the problem with inviting the family over and getting to know them? Do you really feel it is justifiable to see a family one time and base your entire opinion on that one instance? I can't imagine using one example in a person's life and drawing conclusions about them. I am fairly certain that is a big thing on MDC....not judging based on one interaction with a family.

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#128 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:22 PM
 
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with telling you that I haven't read every single post.

I'm in the watch and see club. It sounds creepy....but we're talking about one encounter here. I'm sure if you met me and my family on some days you'd think we're pretty werid!

That said, I can understand your feelings....my DH's ex-wife's new husband gives me the creeps. Don't know why. Just does. I watch closely, but so far nothing has happened that gives me more concern than just a general feeling of ickiness about the guy. Luckily, he is a weekly commuter to work so the skids aren't really around him much.

Back to you thogh....I do beleive in gut feelings, that sometime we intuitively know something is going on, even if there's no hard evidence to support the feeling. It's a prickly situation to be in tho, because you don't want to alienate your neighbours if there really isn't anything going on. Nothing to start a neighbourly relationship on the wrong foot like mistakenly accusing the stepdad of sexual abuse.
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#129 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:22 PM
 
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I would value and trust the opinion of a trained sex abuse investigtor regarding the behavior. If someone with years of professional experince says it's OK, then I'll accept it. Until then, I want that second opinion.
So a trained investigator couldn't be wrong.....you would really base your opinion completely on how one person judges the family to be. Hmmmm......

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#130 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:25 PM
 
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Well, the OP is the only person in this discussion who actually saw the way he was touching/handling his stepdaughter with her own two eyes. A picture is worth a thousand words, and all that.

Furthermore, there were other adults there who saw the same thing and who (according to the OP, assuming she's telling the truth) felt similarly to the way the OP feels about it. I don't know what those conversations were really like. Was the OP going around saying "hey, don't you think he's weird? huh? huh?" and the neighbors responded "hm, I guess you might be right..." or did they have the same idea on their own and share it mutually? If the OP is a busybody going around projecting/planting her own ideas with other people, that would be troubling, but I see nothing concrete in her posts to indicate that.

So if multiple adults who actually saw it were uncomfortable - including the teacher neighbor, a trained mandated reporter - that says something. I agree that going around the neighborhood talking about it is not a good strategy. But having somebody else's runaway kid in the house at 7 a.m., and giving the kid a toy, instead of, say, immediately contacting her parents, HUGE red flag. I do think parents have a right to discuss what's going on in their children's environment with the other parents.

However I do agree that you need more information and the only way to get it is to interact with this family more. OTOH I think a lot of PPs are looking through the world with rose-colored glasses ...there are people out there who are so creepy you can sense it immediately, and the OP and her neighbors very well may have met one of them.

For some reason when things like this come up a lot of people immediately identify with the suspected person and start crying witch hunt and invent all sorts of convoluted reasons why this person whom they've never met is beyond reproach. Like, maybe she was grounded??????? : Who "grounds" a ten year old from playing with other kids in the parents' presence? What kind of "grounding" involves being required to cuddle your stepdad for extended periods of time????

It's interesting how despite the fact that we all know the statistics on molestation, even on MDC women are routinely shamed into turning a blind eye if they become suspicious of a man's interactions with a young girl. It shows how deep male privilege really runs in our social consciousness.
I don't think anyone is crying 'witch hunt' as much as we are saying spend time with the people and feel it out. I never trust my first impressions as a rule because people are often times nervous the first time they meet you. Or on the other hand they are trying to hard to be in your good graces. Either way I would get to know the people a little bit more.

As for 'grounding' My parents would put me on their lap when I wasnt allowed to play with the other kids because I was in trouble. That stopped around 6 or 7 though, but you asked.

I don't want the OP to turn a blind eye. I want her to take her blinders off and take a look at the whole picture instead of an isolated first impression.

Throwing male privilage out there in this situation is sick and twisted to me. But that is just an opinion. This has nothing to do with 'male privilage' and everything to do with either 1- respecting someones household or 2-taking a good look and seeing if something truly is off in someones household before getting the authorities involved.

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#131 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:25 PM
 
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All I could imagine was maybe the stepdaughter was ill during the block party and the parents didn't want her to make would-be friends sick.

Anyway, I really wonder if the eyewitness dads at the block party are having all this kind of reverb.

Like someone else said, the damage from stigma from talking about this stepfather has already been done from the first 10 adults or whatever seeing what was going on. It is not an easy thing to fix or control and I don't think the duty or expectation of duty of this falls upon any single person.

Btw, the skateboard/missing-girl gift thing has creeped me out all morning even in the back of my head.
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#132 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:39 PM
 
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If you were going to watch and wait or get to know this family what "signs" are you looking for. It seems that some of you think you would see something to tell you if a child is being abuse if you waited it out. In the meantime the child may be abused repeatedly.

BTW, don't you think stuff like this get reported enough that the agency would have a better insight if it is worth looking into or not?
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#133 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She is warning other neighbors about him....that seems fairly conclusive.

Your opinion is that his behavior was inappropriate, but that doesn't mean it was.
I warned ONE neighbor who's ten year old daughter was inside his home at 7:00 a.m in the morning three days after they moved in. Obviously, the child shouldn't have been out of her home, but she was, AND she was inside HIS home.

I didn't tell her what we saw, I told her he gave us a bad vibe, and she could ask me anything if she had any questions. I never ONCE said, "he is a pervert" or "child molester" I didn't even say that here to you guys. I just said I have a really bad feeling about this guy.

I never said we were going to call CPS. I said a teacher was going to call her school counselor to ask if they could watch and discuss (among themselves) any problems that they might be noticing. Sometimes when one person sees one thing, you don't think much of it, but if a few people see something, when you put it all together, you realize there could be a problem.


I honestly don't think we were anything but friendly to them on Friday. His wife genuinely had a good time. Other than them finding out what we said AFTER they left, they would have no reason not to come out and sit with us again. We are fun people!
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#134 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have no indication the OP labled anyone as a child molester.

Thank you.
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#135 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:54 PM
 
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And I assume that if there is an investigation and the family is OK, the OP will accept that, be delighted and get on with life. She's not out for blood, but she wants something that doesn't seem quite right to be checked out.
Oh I'm quite sure the OP will get on with her life whatever the outcome. The family? Not so much. Regardless if he's guilty or innocent, their lives will be changed forever. Theres even a chance they'll be ruined forever. The damage is probably already done though with all the neighborhood talk.

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#136 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:55 PM
 
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When I was growing up, my mother never let us go to a certain grocery store that was a big favorite among kids in the neighborhood because the proprietor always gave out candy. She never explained why, and because my parents had a LOT of rules, it didn't seem strange to me.

Fifteen years later, it came out that the proprietor had been fondling the girls who came into his store for at least 25-30 years. Only after I'd heard about it about him from other people and I confronted her did my mother explain that she'd kept us away (including my brother) because she had noticed he seemed to "like" the girls better than the boys and she had seen him taking girls into closed off areas of the store.

My mother never told anyone about her suspicions, except to talk it over with my father, who agreed that the man seemed "off." Who knows how many kids would have escaped being molested over the next fifteen years if she had? Apparently, no one had ever reported this guy for anything.
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#137 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 04:58 PM
 
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Here is info on a sexual abuse hotline......

http://www.childhelp.org/get_help
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#138 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 05:00 PM
 
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DH's uncle made me fool uncomfortable around his son, I told the mom how I felt. I had to.

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#139 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 05:04 PM
 
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Do you really feel it is justifiable to see a family one time and base your entire opinion on that one instance?
If I have reason to believe a child may be in danger, I believe it is appropriate to make an effort to protect the child.

And if I sense a child may be in danger based on only one interaction / observation, I would act based on that.
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#140 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 05:10 PM
 
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If I have reason to believe a child may be in danger, I believe it is appropriate to make an effort to protect the child.

And if I sense a child may be in danger based on only one interaction / observation, I would act based on that.
So are you one of those people that call CPS on a mama in the parking lot for snapping loudly at her 3 yo because she's had a very rough day? Do you routinely take a snapshot picture of a family and base your judgments entirely on that?

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#141 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 05:26 PM
 
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So are you one of those people that call CPS on a mama in the parking lot for snapping loudly at her 3 yo because she's had a very rough day? Do you routinely take a snapshot picture of a family and base your judgments entirely on that?
No. I am not one of "those people". I have never called CPS, but I would not hesitate to if I felt it was necessary in order to help a child be safe.
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#142 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 05:41 PM
 
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So are you one of those people that call CPS on a mama in the parking lot for snapping loudly at her 3 yo because she's had a very rough day? Do you routinely take a snapshot picture of a family and base your judgments entirely on that?
I don't think that this qualifies as a snapshot, and certainly not like seeing someone frustrated with a child for a moment.

What does the OP need to see in order to justify her feelings? Maybe if he'd put his hand up her shirt, or maybe slipped his hand down her pants? How obvious does it need to be before it's ok to feel creeped out and take action? How many times would you suspect someone that you think that you know of being a child molester? It's not likely that you'd think that about anyone that you know, or think that you know, or are related to, or that your children visit regularly. Especially not if you're looking for "proof" of which there is usually very little of in public situations. Statistics are scary.....1 in 4 girls and fewer, but a significant number of boys will be sexually abused before adulthood. So, we know these abusers, we work with them, they teach our children, we live next to them, we may even have them in our families, homes or beds.

And the OP said that the girl DID seem uncomfortable. The mother didn't seem uncomfortable. If I wouldn't let my child go from my lap during a get together and it was for a reason, I'd state the reason "you're not feeling well, why don't you rest a bit" or "You're grounded" Not "why don't you hang out on my lap for awhile"

My husband is affectionate to our children, but he wouldn't ever force a child to sit on his lap and neither would I. When our children don't want tickles touches or kisses, they only have to say once. Even our 2 year old.
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#143 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 06:00 PM
 
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I don't think that this qualifies as a snapshot, and certainly not like seeing someone frustrated with a child for a moment.

What does the OP need to see in order to justify her feelings? Maybe if he'd put his hand up her shirt, or maybe slipped his hand down her pants? How obvious does it need to be before it's ok to feel creeped out and take action? How many times would you suspect someone that you think that you know of being a child molester? It's not likely that you'd think that about anyone that you know, or think that you know, or are related to, or that your children visit regularly. Especially not if you're looking for "proof" of which there is usually very little of in public situations. Statistics are scary.....1 in 4 girls and fewer, but a significant number of boys will be sexually abused before adulthood. So, we know these abusers, we work with them, they teach our children, we live next to them, we may even have them in our families, homes or beds.

And the OP said that the girl DID seem uncomfortable. The mother didn't seem uncomfortable. If I wouldn't let my child go from my lap during a get together and it was for a reason, I'd state the reason "you're not feeling well, why don't you rest a bit" or "You're grounded" Not "why don't you hang out on my lap for awhile"

My husband is affectionate to our children, but he wouldn't ever force a child to sit on his lap and neither would I. When our children don't want tickles touches or kisses, they only have to say once. Even our 2 year old.
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This seems odd to me. Why must I explain myself to other people I dont even know and tell them why my child is "hanging out with me." In fact, I HAVE said that very same thing when my daughter was being restricted from playing, sick, or for other reasons I did not want them playing with other kids. In fact, once it was because I didn't approve of how the other children were playing and didn't want my daughter around it. Rather than be rude and "explain" my reasons to the parents I barely knew, I just asked her to "hang out with me" instead. A few kisses on the head and my arms around her and suddenly I'm a pedophile? : And just because the OP said the girl looked uncomfortable doesn't mean she actually WAS. Maybe she had gas, or a toothache. Does the OP really even know?? No. She doesn't.

I'm sorry, a feeling just isn't enough to go on by a snapshot. And yes, thats what this was. Simply a snapshot out of the life of a family she doesn't even know at all, and obviously refuses to try to get to know further.

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#144 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 06:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sorry, a feeling just isn't enough to go on by a snapshot. And yes, thats what this was. Simply a snapshot out of the life of a family she doesn't even know at all, and obviously refuses to try to get to know further.
I don't refuse to get to know them. Not at all. I DO refuse to let my child go inside their house though. My daughter cannot babysit for them, and the other's children will not be allowed to go into their house to play with their child. We ARE making that decision based on what we saw and felt when we met them. Even after less than two hours, we had already made that decision.

I also would not be at all surprised if they chose not to let their child play inside our homes. I wouldn't blame them a bit!
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#145 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 06:32 PM
 
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No matter how much people scream about how this is judgemental, the fact remains that bad people manage to take advantage of people because THEY REFUSE TO ACT ON WHAT THEY SEE AND KNOW. People push away knowledge because it is too terrible to be wrong, or to be right.

Almost every molester has been caught and suspected LONG before anything was ever done about them. People are so willing to not judge that they forget that where you see the floating ice the iceberg is just below the surface.

If you see one cockroach, and everyone else sees one cockroach, but you all agree that it just too premature to make the assumption that the cockroaches indicate a problem because how can you all judge when all of you has just seen one roach....... And that is EXACTLY how this sort of person gets away with the things they do.

Do not be afraid to use your brain. No matter how many people may lecture you on it. Be willing to consider that you are wrong. But call the exterminators anyway.
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#146 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 06:45 PM
 
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I just wanted to say I think it's a hard situation. I totally support you OP in protecting your own kids, and I think your instincts are important and there for a purpose that way. I do not consider making those kinds of judgment calls - who my kid will be around - to be anything but a personal choice.

I do think the talking about it with everyone is a little iffy. For me, if I felt strongly enough to talk to a neighbour about her kid's safely, I would probably call CAS. They are not perfect but up here anyway, they often are able to investigate complaints quietly and without drama.. and even if they miss something, often it's a strong message to the child later on, that at least someone else found that things were not "normal." I have called CAS once (in that case there were clear signs of physical abuse) and had a family member be investigated (and cleared), so that's my experience with them.

On the other hand, I do have to say that I personally would not like the "must hang out with neighbours drinking" thing. I have nothing against neighbours or drinking or neighbours drinking, but I am the kind of person who needs a while to warm up before getting pushed to hang out. I would not have found that respectful of me.

If you hadn't provided those details I would be more sure that you should call, but it kind of seems to me that you have a strong sense of what is acceptable behaviour that isn't quite in line with my own. Not that I am the decider.

~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
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#147 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 06:47 PM
 
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Please, please, please do something to help this child.

So many people are saying it: many, many abusers get away with it because, everyone thinks, I don't know enough or someone else will do it.

Your inution can be enough, I would definitly take what you've said as a referal. There seem so many werid little things.

To be honset it sounds as if many of your neighbours are part wondering anyway, so really I wouldn't worry so much about stigmatising.

If you decided to wait and see, what are you wating for? If you do this please set yourself some sort of deadline, like if I still feel his behaviour is creepy after X weeks I will make a referal. Don't keep waiting for incotraverable proof, you may never see it.

Don't be a neighbourhood full of people saying years later, I always knew he was a werid one. Be the one who did something.
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#148 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 07:52 PM
 
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My opinion is that if you get a creepy vibe from someone, its likely for a good reason. Does that mean the neighbor is molesting his child? No. But i would bet there is *something* off there, if soooo many people got a weird vibe.

I'm really surprised at so many people suggesting this mother not judge the situation based upon her instincts. i have a neighbor who is creepy....he just weirds me out, he has my whole childhood. Do i think he molested his children? No, probably not...but he's still weird, and it actually wouldnt surprise me at all to find there was some iffy family dynamics going on.

It makes me : to see what was described by the OP, dismissed as "oh, so if i'm affectionate with my kid in public, then i'm a pedophile??"....I have a son who just turned 11. We are a VERY affectionate family....if i saw something similar, with a man who has only been this child's father figure for three years, and every single person present thought it was strange, and got a creep vibe, yes...i would think it was off in some way. It simply isnt normal for a parent to have his hands on his 10 yr old child, for a solid hour and a half, even when she asks to go play with other kids, or sit down seperate from him.

That being said, i dont really think there is much you can do, other than trying to befriend the little girl and helping her feel that you are a "safe" person she can confide in if necessary. I dont think calling CPS will help...you dont have any evidence. It would likely just make the family close up more and give you less of a chance to find anything out. Just keep your eyes open.

Oh, and the other neighbor girl coming from their house....huge red flag. It might be nothing at all, totally innocent, or it could be grooming behavior. Enough of these "totally innocent" situations could ultimately add up to something more.


Katherine

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#149 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 08:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nature View Post
Would a creepy feeling be enough for a mandatory reporter? No. Not likely. Feelings, thoughts and hunches are simply not enough. And with good reason! People everywhere would be reporting everyone.

There are many other signs you can look for if you suspect sexual abuse. The FIRST thing I'd do is try to get to know the family. You can't very well see whats going on if you stay 5 houses away and only whisper about them to each other.

I agree, get involved! That doesn't mean get the authorities involved.
It means YOU.
As a teacher, I am a mandated reporter. I've been to the trainings. It was drilled into my head that if I had ANY suspicion for ANY reason, I was mandated to report it. If I did not report it, I could be held legally libel. There were certainly many more red flags indicated here besides a "creepy feeling," anyways. Attitudes like this are why so many children have had to live with abuse. No one wants to risk "being wrong" or "getting involved." By reporting the facts to CPS, you are not accusing someone. You are saying, this was some concerning behavior. You give the facts. They decide what to do with it, and whether or not it warrants a visit. If you then gain other concilliatory evidence, you can again call and give those facts. Sometimes one report is not enough, but when there are several different reports an investigation can occur. There may already be a case against this family, and one more "red flag" can give someone the authority to act or open an investigation.

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#150 of 248 Old 11-13-2007, 08:28 PM
 
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Wow.

If you were getting a bad vibe, I say go with your instincts. Which we, as women, routinely ignore so as to look polite/nice/neighborly.

You are the one who was there. If you feel something inappropriate was going on, you should take some sort of action.

Maybe invite them over for dinner and see if you still get a strange feeling?

Frankly, and I am sure I will get flamed, if I felt as strongly as you seem to in your op, I would call cps and make an inquiry or report.
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