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Flying with 3 year old and almost 1 year old... any advice?

1K views 29 replies 23 participants last post by  Julian's Momma 
#1 ·
We are planning a trip to Florida from Michigan in January. We'll be flying with kids for the first time ever, and renting a car once we get there.

Got any tips on traveling this kind of distance with LO's? Should we try to bring our own car seats (both Britax) or use the seats that (I think?) you get with a car rental? We are already going to demand that the airline (Northwest) seat all 4 of us together (DD will be sitting on my lap). Airlines seem to notoriously split up groups traveling together. Any tips for the flight? How about strollers? We have a regular sized one and an umbrella one for DS if he needs it when we are out walking around at the zoo or whatever we decide to do when we are there.

Hope it was OK to post this in this forum...
 
#3 ·
Having flown with 2 toddlers and a baby many many times... and then every age after that as they got older including two 3 year olds and a 1 year old...
here's some advice:

1.) Pay for them to have their own seats. Take their carseats on and put them in their car seats. It will DRAMATICALLY improve their manners (as in, hey, I'm in my carseat, I don't normally get out of it 500 times in an hour...) and is far safer to boot.

2.) FOOD. DRINKS (yes you can bring small amounts if for a child - check your airline first). Lots of snacks. This is SO not the time to be worried about perfect nutrition. Whatever they like, whatever keeps them busy. Okay, for example, one time, we brought 2 feet of cooking twine and a ziploc baggie filled with (organic versons of) Cheerios, Fruit Loops, and some kind of ring shaped pretzel. The toddlers did "make your own necklaces." Then they ate them. I think that was 30 minutes right there.

3.) Mega doses of Vitamin C for several days before and after flying. Yucky yucky petri dishes with wings.

4.) Mess-free, noise-free but still very fun activities. Color Wonder. Magnetic dress-up and story boards. Books. Busy boards (e.g., with locks, latches, etc.). Magnadoodle-type toys (travel-sizes are best). Pack a "suprise bag" filled with random crazy stuff... for a 1 year old, I would pack a little bag filled with a few teethers/small toys, some cool measuring spoons (lol), a soft book, a couple of toy cars/trucks, etc. For a toddler, I would pack different matchbox cars or train cars, a little slinky, a small dolly, etc. Different things for them to reach in and take out and play with.

5.) Divide and conquer. I would seriously consider splitting up. I know it's not very lovey dovey but if you sit in row 4 with the baby, let dp sit in row 10 with the toddler. Switch halfway through if you must. There is something about you getting all uptight and anxious about noise and mess when one of them gets out of sorts and then it just transfers to the kids, and the toddler hears the baby and vice versa... it's sort of a domino effect. So I vote, pack like you're going on separate trips (i.e., separate snacks and activity bags as carry-ons) and then sit separately. AT LEAST don't sit in the same row.

6.) Sling the baby. This is probably stating the obvious, but I always wear the kids through the airport until they're WAY past the point you'd normally be wearing them all the time. I would probably even carry the 3 year-old in an Ergo or other backpack if you have it. It is so much easier to have 2 hands free.

7.) Don't travel during naptime. They won't sleep in the plane. If you can, travel during their "happy time" (morning). Don't wake everyone up 3 hours early to catch a flight. They won't fall back asleep in the car on the way there. It never works. Murphy's Law.


8.) Two words: BULK. HEAD. (This is especially important if you all are going to be sitting together.)

9.) Along those lines, be the first ones there. Line up in the early boarding line. Do this if it kills you. If you have to pee, make dp stand there to save your spot.

10.) Seat the child by the window if you can. That insulates them from whoever is next to you, which is nice for a wide variety of reasons, and gives them something to look at.

10.) Never underestimate the power of the laminated plane instructions. There are MANY things you can do with that little booklet. Lots to look at and talk about.
 
#4 ·
We just took our first airplane trip, with kids the same ages as yours.

It was so much easier than we anticipated.

We took our stroller--the full-sized one--and we were so glad we did. We checked it at the gate, so we were able to push the kids all the way to the plane, then leave the stroller and board the plane, and it would be there waiting for us when we got back off the plane. This made connections much easier, and it helped tremendously with handling all our luggage.

We did take our own carseats with us, as opposed to renting them from the rental place--mostly to save money. It was a bit of a pain, dragging them around, but it wasn't horrible. If you don't want to pay for rental car seats, or you just want to be sure that your car seats meet your standards for quality or safety, we didn't mind dragging them around--we'd probably do it again.

Have fun. My almost-three-year-old LOVED flying on the plane!
 
#5 ·
We've flown a lot with our kids. Dh works for an airline, so while our travel is free, it's all stand-by. Stand-by travel requires us to be flexible & go with the flow.

Take your carseats. Gate check them if you don't want to use them on the plane. Don't check them with your luggage--you don't want to subject them to that abuse.

Arrive at the gate early & request the bulkhead. The extra space/absence of seatbacks is awesome, especially if your kids are squirrelly. It also provides a nice space for diaper changes.

Are you buying a seat for the baby? If not, you can ask the gate agent if there are empty seats available. If so, they may give you one.

Gate check your stroller, esp if either of the airports you'll be using is a large one. Sling the baby & use the stroller to push the carseats & your carry-ons through the airport.

I agree that this is an instance where less-than-optimal food choices are worth it.

I don't usually buy the crayola color wonder stuff--I'm much more of a beeswax crayons/broken crayolas kind of mom. But...an airplane flight is absolutely the time and place to splurge on convenient, mess free stuff like that.

I also agree that splitting up (2&2--not 1&3!) is not necessarily bad.

The flight attendants want to help you. If you need something, ask. In the past, there has been some media attention regarding flight attendants harassing nursing moms--that has not been my experience at all. If anything, they'll bring you extra water and play with the baby.
 
#7 ·
It is definitely safer for everyone to have their own seat. Even if you haven't purchased a seat for the youngest, you could carry the carseats and if there's an empty seat, you can use it. If not, have them check the second carseat. A Marathon can be a real pain to install in a plane seat, but it's worth it! Besides being safer, it's something familiar... Out of the flights my dd has been on, she actually slept when we had her seat!

ETA: The carseats that the car rental agencies carry, or so I've heard, seem to always be nasty and that's if they have them there for you.
 
#8 ·
Snacks. Lots of snacks.

I would bring carseats and try to get everyone a seat. I stopped using DS' carseat in the plane he was about three because his legs were so long it just wasn't comfortable for him--so it might depend on your bigger kid's size whether you want to gatecheck her carseat or bring it on board. (There is a vest/harness type thing that makes flying safer for kids without using a carseat. DS was too big for it by the time it came out so I don't have any experience with it.)

There are wheeled attachments you can use with car seats--go go kidz. Those make it easier to get the seats through the airport. And you can give the kids a ride in them too. Or there are backpack attachments to make carrying the seat easier.

Bring extra clothes for everyone. DS once peed through two sets of clothes (malfunctioning diapers) and ended up flying in a diaper and a huge t-shirt that was purchased at an airport store.


Bring enough diapers to get through not just the flight but potential delays too. (Our personal record with child is a 5 hour delay at SFO on Christmas Day.)

DS actually did sleep on planes, especially if it was nap time. So I scheduled flights at nap time. (He also slept in the car and the stroller--moving things put him to sleep).

Personal choice, but I avoid the bulkhead because there's no where to stash the bag of snacks and toys. If the fasten seat belt sign is on and you can't get to your stuff it could get ugly.

If you are not opposed, a portable DVD player (or iphone/itouch loaded with music, photos and movies) can be a godsend.

Small, light books can be good. Also stickers or better yet post-it notes. The older child can draw on the post-it notes with washable markers and then stick them everywhere and they peel back off.

Remember that everyone's shoes have to come off at security so pick ones that are easy off and on; and if your kids are like mine, warn them and explain that they get the shoes back.

Good luck!
 
#9 ·
: I am so excited you posted this...I am flying with my almost three year old in january, from Buenos Aires to *******, over 15 hours of flights, not including the connections, and I am SO taking notes.

The only LD flight I ever did with child was when Benjamin was 4-5 months old. It was 23 hours in total with connection...and it was fairly easy, but I had to INSIST, vehemently, on the bulkhead seats and ask for the baby cot that screws in the wall.

They wouldn't let me use my car seat on American Airlines (even though I specifically bought a carseat that was FAA approved for the trip) and the flight attendant was a roaring Biatch about it as well, said she would bring it back after take off (because it was an infant seat and could be at my feet to give him a comfortable place to sit-- since he had been in my arms for the previous 20 hours.) and then she went and stored it in the luggage compartment below instead...
:
:

The people also gave me really weird looks about nursing him, too, but I tell you it was the only thing that kept him from screaming in agony over his ears.

I HOPE it will be better this time, and he sleeps, but I am so excited about these ideas! Keep them coming!
 
#10 ·
Groan
. We're flying across the country in a few weeks with a 12 month old and 3.5 y.o. as well. Thinking about it makes me want to cry and run away
. No, it'll be fine, right? Right? The last time we flew we just had one 18 month old.

On the snacks/food: I had that same thought to just do the junky snacks to keep him happy, but I need to make an effort to bring some healthy stuff this time 'cause a toddler full of junky snacks with nowhere to run can become not very fun to be around lol.

you probably know this, but nurse during take-off and landing, it'll really help with the little one's ears.
 
#12 ·
Go in with a sense of humour about it all. That seems to calm the people around you looking horrified at sharing the plane with -gasp - small children and calms yourself and your children.

If the little ones start fussing, breathe deeply and order a glass of wine for yourself and, if it's not your DP, the other person in the row. Good vibes all around and makes for having an ally in the row as opposed to someone huffing and puffing in frustration.
 
#13 ·
Flown lots of times with two toddlers. In fact we just got back on Saturday (two flights). My kids love to fly! Seriously, both kids laugh when we hit turbolence. On one flight they had the whole plane laughing because they were laughing.

Take your carseats but check them with your luggage. They are a PIA to carry around. You have two kids, diaperbag, stroller and whatever carry on, you don't want to mess with a heavy carseat or two.

Don't split up! We have had very little problems being seated together. Telling the airlines ahead of time. If you are split, tell the flight attendant as soon as you board. He/she will help get you all together.

Bring snacks! Non greasy things like pretzels or gold fish. Most airlines are not providing snacks anymore (I know Frontier doesn't) just drinks.

We were able to bring our kids sippys thru security. Otherwise you will hae to buy something in the terminal. You can't bring bottle water in thru security but for some reason they allow sippys.

Are you still nursing? Nursing will help on take off and landing with the air pressure.

Stroller - get it tagged at the gate and then you leave it at the end of the ramp before boarding the plane. They will leave it there at the same spot at your destination (or if you have a layover make sure its left there).

Good luck!
 
#14 ·
Also, most airports now have family bathrooms. Usually close to the womens restroom. They have nice changing areas. Just bring some sort of clean changing pad to lay down or one that you can throw away.
 
#15 ·
Definitely bring your own seats. If you're flying nonstop, I'd take the seats on the plane. If you have any layovers, consider checking your car seats. We bought car seat bags from One Step Ahead and we put them in those and check them as luggage.

Buying seats for everyone even if they don't use the seat is good advice; it's nice to have the extra room.

New toys. A wide variety of toys. And lots of snacks.

I wouldn't voluntarily split my family and I would push for seats together if you find out they aren't. When both your kids want to be with you and you're 6 rows apart, it's going to be hell.

If you have a layover, an umbrella stroller is a great idea-you can gate check it. Even if you don't have a layover, it's a great idea.

Last time I flew I was alone with a 4 yo and a 2 yo. It was really not a bad experience. Have fun!
 
#16 ·
You've gotten a ton of great suggestions already, but I want to sneak in a couple more.

*If ever there was a time for a portable DVD player, this is it.
*Have a spare shirt that fits both you and dh. One of my dds one got airsick during a horrible landing and vomitted all over me. I ended up making the connection and the rest of the flights clad in a didymos and a jacket.

*Have enough food in your bag to feed everyone for 24 hours. Seriously, we have been stranded in all kinds of places and having some sort of snacky goodness is a lifesaver. That way, if you have to crash in a airport hotel at 3:00am, you at least have some granola bars.
*Carry empty water bottles and fill them once you're through security. Dried out grown-ups are cranky grown-ups.
*Sticker books rock.
*Wear the kids.
*Talk to the older one about the process of air travel and make sure they know that their carry-on items have to go through the x-ray machine. That way they won't freak out about it.
*Relax, it really is a lot of fun to travel with kids. Mine are 5.5 and 3 and have logged a lot of airtime. (We live in AK and not on the road system, so it's the only way to get most places.) Despite having been weathered in, weathered out, turbulence, etc, they love to fly. We've had a few hard ones, but most of the time, they do brilliantly.
 
#17 ·
Bring one small toy/snack per hour that you are on the plane (with a few extras just in case), wrapped up in wrapping paper. Things like others have mentioned - cars, small dolls, crayons and paper, play-doh, etc. Pull out one per hour per child, and let them open/play with them.

Do NOT check your carseats with your luggage. You know how they tell you to replace your carseat if you get into an accident? Might as well just replace it, because the battering they will go through to get on and off the plane is unreal. If you aren't bringing them on the plane, check them at the gate.

If there are empty seats on the plane, they will let you bring your 1 yo's car seat onboard and take up a seat. Know ahead of time where the crazy FAA sticker is.

Portable DVD player with headphones. Definitely.

I second the pp who said to bring your own sippy cups. I have been allowed to bring single-serve applesauce and pudding for my DD through security as well.

My DD has been on a TON of flights and even a cruise, before the age of 2. We're going to attempt a flight from Hawaii to Tennessee (with 2 or 3 connections, depending on how the Navy books it) with me being 7-8 months pregnant and her at 2 and a half. Trust me, I will be STOCKED up with STUFF. Better to have too much than not enough. (Bring extra baby wipes - you will need them!)

DON'T stress. I have found that if I will myself to be calm, I won't let the stress of flying with a little one get to me. Don't be afraid to ask a flight attendant for help. The worst part, IMO, is breaking down the stroller, getting all of the kids' shoes off, etc. at security, and then putting everything back together to get to the gate. After that, everything seems easy!

(FTR, on EVERY flight she has been on, no matter what time of day, my daughter has fallen asleep upon takeoff and sleeps through most of the flight, no drugs involved. You might get lucky too!)
 
#18 ·
I've did several flights with children that age(alone).

A car seat is a life saver..DC gets strapped in and its great..otherwise they would be would be off and gone. Seriously.
Also its so much safer when there is bad turbulence. We use the Radian for travel.

A back carrier(Ergo/Patapum) is another life saver that way at least one child is under control and not going anywhere.I also put these on the kids.http://www.simaenterprises.com/ Which used to be a Mother run Canadian company but I guess not anymore.

Be prEpared to have your children walk through the metal detector alone if you child gets freaked out by something like this practice ahead of time.

Non messy snacks are great until the food cart comes around. Bring water too. Usually people are still boarding and I am already breaking the food out.

New but inexpensive toys, the best is one time use camera's. Keeps them busy for 27 clicks and a nice memory of the back of the seat ahead of them.

I also carry a portable DVD player for the planes that don't have personal TV's and a new DVD.

At least one change of clothes for ALL of you. Explosive poops always happen to us on the plane.
Several diapers, a change pad and lots of wipes for messes and sticky hands. Airlines do not provide these things. I have a friend who is a F.A and she tells me people travel all the time without these things and expect the F.A to provide them
:

HTH
 
#19 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ScotiaSky View Post

Be prEpared to have your children walk through the metal detector alone if you child gets freaked out by something like this practice ahead of time.
What I taught mine to do was to give themselves a hug and walk through. That way they don't touch the sides and have to try again. TSA screeners are always oddly impressed by that trick.
 
#20 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
This is SO not the time to be worried about perfect nutrition.
However, if your child doesn't normally consume synthetic dyes and/or flavors, this is NOT the time to let your kids have them for the first time. Synthetic ingredients make lots of kids hyper, which is the last thing you need when traveling.
 
#21 ·
:

Ooh, sticker books
single-use camera - good ideas!

on checking carseats at the gate - where do they go when you do that? Somewhere where they don't get banged around as much? I'm imagining hauling carseats through the airport to the gate and I'm thinking that's not going to be fun with all the other stuff and kids we're going to have to carry. We've always just checked them with our baggage but now you have me thinking ....
 
#22 ·
My quick advice would be...

Take your own car seats. I was appalled at what a rental car agency was trying to give me - -outdated seats, seats missing buckes, flithy seats.

A roll of scotch tape and a little notebook works miracles. Your older child can dismantle the sky mall catalog and tape things into the notebook (a funny reminder later in life of the trip) and the younger can just bask in the glory of sticky tape.

We also always try to get two seats in front of the other two with window and middle seats. That way the toddler just kicks the baby's seat for the trip, not some fellow traveller.


HTH -- Heidi
 
#23 ·
We just got back from a trip to Dallas with DS (a three-hour flight), and I can honestly say that playing for his own seat and flying with him in his Marathon was the best decision we have ever made. We flew with him as a lap child when he was 6 months old, and I found it exhausting to try and wrestly with him during the whole flight. This time we considered the safety aspect and the convenience aspect of him having his own seat and went for it. We installed his Marathon RF on the plane, and it was a lot easier than I though it would be. I got it in without a seatbelt extender in under 5 minutes.

I also really agree with the snacks, snacks, and more snacks advice. We brought kamut puffs, freeze-dried fruit, and Pirate's Booty to keep DS occupied. Worked like a charm!
 
#25 ·
One thing with car seats (and I agree that it's best to either have them on the plane or gate check) is that some airlines only let you install them in the window seats, so book those. I have always used them forward facing for ease on a plane.

Oh, and don't reserve an exit row. Most airlines won't let children sit in them at all.
 
#26 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by timneh_mom View Post
Got another question!! If you put an infant in a car seat (I have a roundabout for DD), do you put it in rear facing, like a car? Or forward facing?

Thanks for all the advice! I've printed out the whole thread!!
DS is 11 months, 25 pounds, and rides in a Marathon. We installed it rear-facing on the plane, just like it is in the car.
 
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