Elmo taught dd to scream "NO MINE NO MINE NO MINE" - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 01:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, my friend's daughter who watches Elmo taught dd who DOESN'T watch Elmo.....

I have never seen Elmo, but apparently there is a scene of two kids screaming this as they play tug-a-war over some toy. I hate this stuff.

Now I'm going to read the "Do you allow Disney/character books in your home" thread.


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#2 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 01:29 AM
 
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Weird. I've never seen anything like that modeled on Sesame Street, if that's what you mean by "on Elmo".
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#3 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 04:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by chinaKat View Post
Weird. I've never seen anything like that modeled on Sesame Street, if that's what you mean by "on Elmo".
Yeah.

Also, it's pretty common even among the young toddler set (to say, "No, mine!, that is).
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#4 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 04:25 AM
 
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ds watches elmo, ive never seen a single scene like that.
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#5 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 08:37 AM
 
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I could see that. As the leas in to some sort of "hey! here is a better way to deal with this" kind of scene.

but the fact is your d did not learn this from elmo. she picked it up from a friend. welcome to parenting. as your child socializes they are going to pick crap up. thats life.

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#6 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 09:09 AM
 
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yup - ive seen it. Some of those scenes drive me nuts. Theres a tiny segment of it in a Dora episode too - two kids having a tug of war on a cookie until Dora comes and breaks it in two and gives them each a piece.

Someone gave my DD a book about bedtime. The mouse in it kicks up a fight and yells 'Mama! I don't want to sleep!' or 'I can't sleep' or something. My daughter has always gone to bed when we take her to bed, and it never occurred to her to fight it. Bedtime has always been fairly peaceful for us. After my husband read that book to her, she started doing it! Argh. My official stance is things picked up that way won't *really* be ingrained in them and will be second place to strong parental influences, but its still annoying in the interim.

I keep waiting for some other kid to tell her 'hey! did you know you can easily climb out of the crib in the middle of the night?' because that hasn't occurred to her either.
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#7 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 09:15 AM
 
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That scene is from the "Elmo in Grouchland" movie.
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#8 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 09:29 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
but the fact is your d did not learn this from elmo. she picked it up from a friend. welcome to parenting. as your child socializes they are going to pick crap up. thats life.
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#9 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 10:25 AM
 
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I think is a stage I dont think I have met a toddler who didnt do the "mine" thing, toddlers are very selfish, give elmo a break.
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#10 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 11:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
but the fact is your d did not learn this from elmo. she picked it up from a friend. welcome to parenting. as your child socializes they are going to pick crap up. thats life.
Exactly!

This reminds me of some parents who, whenever their child says a swear-word or exhibits some socially frowned-upon behavior, feel compelled to say, "They picked this up from so-and-so." As if no child ever says, "No, mine!" just because she's laid claim to something and doesn't want to share it.

I agree with the poster who said, "Give Elmo a break."

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#11 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 01:52 PM
 
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Well, dd (2.5) learned to say "I hate you" to her daddy after watching Nemo say it to HIS daddy.:My dh was so heartbroken, even though we talked about it and obviously she doesn't quite understand what hate means, it was still very sad to hear. She does understand it was said in anger, because she said it to dh in an appropriate way, after her told her not to do something/stop something. I never likes movies/tv anyway, but now, I really hate them. We are no longer renting movies here. We used to rent one a week, because dd is giving up naps and my pregnant tired self needed a break, but no way. Who knows what she'll hear next! I understand I can't shelter her from everything, but telling her daddy she hates him???? No way!
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#12 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 02:09 PM
 
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Picking things up - whatever the source - is developmentally appropriate and it only gets worse. Remember, she's wired to explore, try things out, let them go, and so on.

I think it is a lot of pressure on your daughter, yourself, and everyone around you if the rule in your house or mind is "never bring anything home / pick up any behaviour / be attracted to or have a liking of something that we don't enjoy completely."

Ease up a little on your daughter and yourself. Your values and your way of doing things in your family will remain the dominant influence over time, and that is really all you can control.

~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
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#13 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 02:20 PM
 
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It's pre-programmed in all children.

Just like "Well you can't come to my birthday party" and "Wanna see my underwear?"
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#14 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 02:44 PM
 
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Just as a note.... As parents, we're actually allowed to to pre-view the movie/show or pre-read the book before exposing the kids to it.

But "mine" and "I hate you" are pretty normal behaviors. Even w/o watching movies or reading books.
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#15 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 03:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by GuildJenn View Post
Picking things up - whatever the source - is developmentally appropriate and it only gets worse. Remember, she's wired to explore, try things out, let them go, and so on.
Yes! Rather than trying to "make sure" your child never hears any hurtful words -- why not use what she picks up as an opportunity to talk about meanings, share how it feels to hear certain words directed at you, and suggest more respectful/constructive ways to express feelings and assert rights.

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I think it is a lot of pressure on your daughter, yourself, and everyone around you if the rule in your house or mind is "never bring anything home / pick up any behaviour / be attracted to or have a liking of something that we don't enjoy completely."
Absolutely! Sometimes I think parents see children as their own personal "little blank slates," for them to write on in any way THEY (the parents) choose -- when really they're individuals in their own rights, not extensions of us.

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Ease up a little on your daughter and yourself. Your values and your way of doing things in your family will remain the dominant influence over time, and that is really all you can control.
It's so much more freeing to realize we have a definite voice in our children's lives! So many parents seem to see it as one extreme or the other -- either you have absolute control, or you have no input at all. Our kids really do care what we think. And they're more willing to listen when their opinions are equally respected.

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#16 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 04:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PattyCakes_726 View Post
That scene is from the "Elmo in Grouchland" movie.
ahh that explains it, we havent watched that one, library doesnt have a copy
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#17 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 04:26 PM
 
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The movie is about Elmo and his blanket. Basically, in a nutshell, Elmo gets transported to Grouchland and his blanket gets taken by the town's "bully". Then Elmo embarks on a journey to get his blanket back. It's one of my daughter's favorites.

Here's the thing about the scene in question. It happens right at the beginning of the movie. Zoe is holding Elmo's blanket and he asks for it back, she tells him "In a minute" and Elmo asks for it back again. She still doesn't give it back to him, and he ends up grabbing one end of it and telling her that he wants his blanket back now, it's "Mine! Mine! Mine!"

So, if you take that scene out of context, yeah, that sucks. However, when Elmo is on his way to try to get his blanket from the bully, he realizes that HIS behavior from earlier in the film is a mirror of the bully's behavior and realizes that wasn't a good way to handle the situation.

DD and I have used the movie to talk a lot about sharing, and friends, and things like that.

That being said, I also agree that it is a developmentally appropriate place for kids to be at this age; picking things up from friends. My suggestion would be to go find a copy of it somewhere and watch it with dc, and talk about the themes and issues. It's about an hour long, I think.

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#18 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 04:43 PM
 
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SharonAnne makes a good case about why it's so important to be available to dialog with our children and help them process the various things they're taking in.

Susan -- married WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005), who started out unschooling and have now embarked on the public school adventure.
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#19 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 04:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
SharonAnne makes a good case about why it's so important to be available to dialog with our children and help them process the various things they're taking in.
ds watchs larryboy and the fib from outer space alot, and if me and dh wern't there to talk to him about it, he may only take away from the movie that jr lied so he can to. But with us there, he knows that lies arn't nice and can cause big problems and hurt people.
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#20 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 04:57 PM
 
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I think that no matter what your dc watches or see's they're gonna pick up not so great behavior cuz if its not on tv or movies it gonna be in real life, in grocery stores, parks, where ever you go its all out there and our children are gonna pick it up but as long as we're there to explain whats right and wrong and why our children will be alright
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#21 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 05:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Geez, guys, it was a lighthearted post. I don't need "welcome to parenting" or "give your dd a break" and all that "blank slate" crap.

No, I don't have the character stuff around, I think there's better stuff out there and want to avoid dd coveting plastic-toy-crap for as long as possible.

I know toddlers are going to learn this stuff, whether it comes from their own brain or friends.

But here's what happened in this case:

We had a playdate where one friend had just learned NO MINE NO MINE----it was very loud and aggressive sounding and was repeated 15, 20 times in the few hours we were together. I asked my friend (jokingly) hey, where did your dd learn that, are you screming NO MINE at her!? and we had a good laugh but she realized she didn't know where the heck it came from. THAT NIGHT dd stared it with the same tone and volume. She didn't even use it at appropriate moments initially. Anyway the next week, my friend told me she saw that scene in Elmo and realized where she'd picked it up.

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Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
but the fact is your d did not learn this from elmo. she picked it up from a friend. welcome to parenting. as your child socializes they are going to pick crap up. thats life.

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#22 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 05:38 PM
 
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Nevermind

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#23 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 05:50 PM
 
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Lisa- There is no way we could assume the intention of your post and I assume most of us were trying to give you honest advice- no harm intended.

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#24 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 06:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I feel like there is a light tone, including the "Now I'm gonna go read the "Do you allow characters in your home?" post."

And a smiley.

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#25 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 06:22 PM
 
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gees i don't think anyone was being harsh.

this is life with a two year old. Just be glad they weren't watching Caillou!!

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#26 of 27 Old 11-26-2007, 09:53 PM
 
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Said lightheartedly: now I'm picturing Elmo saying "lighten up! lighten up! lighten up!"

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#27 of 27 Old 11-27-2007, 10:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GuildJenn View Post
Said lightheartedly: now I'm picturing Elmo saying "lighten up! lighten up! lighten up!"
Yeah, I guess I need to! I'm sorry; I honestly thought you were seriously upset about the whole thing.

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