|Originally posted by jess7396 In Early Childhood Ed. we learn/talk a lot about different kinds of intelligence, and how verbal skills seem to be what most people consider intelligent, like if you hear someone speak well you think "they are smart".
Also, I agree that praising the effort is most important with tasks, a child who gets a "C" in math that is hard earned deserves more *praise* for lack of a better word, than a child who does nothing and gets an "A".
I like that this was brought up. My son is quite the cutey, but he has a very crooked nose and a big cleft scar on his lip, so I worry about what he's going to feel like later on quite a bit.
On the other hand, when it comes to praising intelligence, doesn't everyone think their kid is smart? It sort of bothers me when my friends go on and on about how intelligent their nephew or niece or whoever is simply because not EVERY kid is going to be brilliant. And I guess maybe because we have the issue with DS's physical defect, maybe there's some secret doubt in my mind about his intelligence. At the moment, he's perfectly average. He's bright and extraordinarily happy. I just don't know how to feel about general praise like a chid is "so beautiful" or "so intelligent". I'd much rather see praise being heaped on individual accomplishments. I like when people comment on DS's eyes and how big & beautiful they are, but it does make me wonder if they're saying it to compensate for his being "deformed". DH's uncle told me recently how much better Aleksander looks since his surgeries than when he was born. I got so mad. I'd rather no importance at all be placed on what he (or anyone) looks like.
The truth is that most people are average. Which is fine, people all have they're individual talents and different kinds of intelligence. I guess I just don't like so much importance being heaped on being outstanding or extraordinary or "the best".
Being praised my whole life for how extraordinary I was just put tremendous pressure on me to do something extraordinary, which so far, I've exceeded only at becoming "just a mom". I didn't finish college, I've never sold a painting or a poem, I hardly even have time to continue making art... so where does it leave me but feeling bad for not being outstandingly successful...