How old is too old to have another babY? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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Parenting > How old is too old to have another babY?
mammal_mama's Avatar mammal_mama 08:19 PM 12-21-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by wendy1221 View Post
I don't think my age had anything to do with it. Doctors do not have the right to force any unwanted tests on a person, no matter what insurance they have. Medicaid is state funded insurance, but it is still insurance and that's all it is. There no extra rules that have to followed with Medicaid than there are with any other insurance. All laws applying to patient's rights, including the right to refuse any tests or procedures due to personal or religious reasons, are still intact, no matter what insurance you have.
Maybe it varies from state to state? My friend (the one who said she had to take all the tests to keep the Medicaid), also had a bad experience a few years back when she was denied Medicaid for her 7th pregnancy, because for her previous couple of pregnancies she'd had homebirths, after using Medicaid for her prenatal care.

The doctor she'd used for those pregnancies was willing to treat her for free that pregnancy, then she ended up needing to go to hospital for the birth, which I guess "cleared" her record with Medicaid, so that she was able to get Medicaid for the following 3 pregnancies, all of which culminated in hospital births.

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I applied for Medicaid in my 3rd trimester w/ my 2nd son. I was working as a temp and they didn't hire me, so I lost insurance when I took off for maternity leave at around 8 mos. Nothing "bad" happened to me. I kept my OB and they didn't treat me any differently. I refused all tests, and they didn't give me any harder of a time after I switched to Medicaid.
I wonder, though, if it might have been different had you had no prenatal care prior to that point? In your case, you were just switching insurance, not seeing a doctor for the first time at 8 months.

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I had a homebirth with my 3rd. Medicaid doesn't cover homebirths in my state, but I did go to the chiropractor often and it did cover his services. Nothing was ever said to me about having a homebirth. I did get a call asking why I hadn't picked a healthcare provider for my pregnancy, and did I need help finding one, but I said I was seeing a homebirth midwife and they said oh, well call us if you need help in the future finding a covered provider. That was it.
I'm glad you had such a good experience! As I said before, I don't want to take this thread off-course. It might be interesting to start a thread in the pregnancy forum about Medicaid-related issues, from state to state. Maybe I'll do that sometime, if there's not already one there. I was excited to learn, recently, that they do cover homebirths in any state where homebirth is legal.

wendy1221's Avatar wendy1221 12:44 PM 12-22-2007
My oldest was born in PA, and I have never heard of people having problems there with Medicaid. In fact, people have many many more problems with Medicaid here in IN. Believe me, if they were lawfully able to get away with forcing us to do what they wanted, they would here in IN, but they aren't. I think something else must have been going on with your friend. Perhaps they were saying she didn't need Medicaid b/c she wasn't using a covered provider and wasn't going to the hospital. If her doc didn't accept Medicaid usually, I could see that happening. What state are you in? If she had some sort of income temporarily when she first applied that put her over the income limit, but lost that income before going to the hospital, I could see this happening, but I have never heard of Medicaid being refused b/c of refusal of medical services. That is unlawful, and I'm sure if your friend decided to write a letter to someone, she would find this is true, and she could win a lawsuit if she wanted to go that far.
wendy1221's Avatar wendy1221 12:51 PM 12-22-2007
I am not feeling well, but I did find this list of Medicaid patient's rights

Enrollee Rights
! States must ensure that MCO enrollees are guaranteed specific rights. These include an enrollee’s
right:
1. To be treated with respect and shown consideration for one’s dignity and privacy;
2. To receive information on available treatment options and alternatives;
3. To participate in decisions regarding one’s own health care, including the right to refuse
treatmen
t;
4. To be free from restraints and seclusion as a means of coercion, discipline, convenience,
or retaliation; and
5. To obtain a second opinion from an appropriate, qualified health care professional.

http://www.familiesusa.org/assets/pdfs/MMCregs_.pdf
lab's Avatar lab 01:21 AM 12-23-2007
I personally would not have another child at 37. I am 37 and I think I am way too old to get pregnant.

But that's just me! My youngest is 10 and my oldest is 13. No way am I going to do that again!

But if you want a baby. And you have that desire..... then the only way to get rid of that desire is to have a baby.

GO FOR IT!
Leatherette's Avatar Leatherette 01:29 AM 12-23-2007
Most people I know were your age when they had their first!

I was 29 when I had my son, 32 when I adopted my daughter, and I am done.

But I will be 37 on my next birthday, and I don't feel TOO OLD to have a baby, I just don't want anymore. Usually.......

L.
Anglyn's Avatar Anglyn 04:00 AM 12-25-2007
I didn't read all the answers, just the op, but just wanted to say that I was 38 when I had my youngest. And my grandmother was 42 when she had my mom. So, I guess too old is when you feel too old.....or, you know, after menopause I guess!
artgoddess's Avatar artgoddess 04:10 AM 12-25-2007
I'm 37 and haven't closed the door on a third, maybe, one day, maybe not. many of my friends have had kids in their late thirties and early to mid 40's.
MamaMonica's Avatar MamaMonica 12:41 AM 12-28-2007
I had my youngest at 38, too. My great-aunt had her first at 42. I don't have the energy for any more kids but that's just me.
Shahbazin's Avatar Shahbazin 12:59 AM 12-30-2007
I had my oldest at 38, & my youngest at 39 (almost 40) I don't feel I was ready for children earlier, but certainly haven't bounced back as fast from #2 - don't know whether to blame my age or the spacing on that, though! FWIW, I'm now 40, DH is 52, & we feel real done now.
JayGee's Avatar JayGee 07:06 PM 12-31-2007
I had my first at 33, second at 35 and third at 38. I'd like a 4th and if I got pregnant now, I'd be 40 when he or she was born. DH is 44. We don't feel "done" quite yet .
PattyCakes_726's Avatar PattyCakes_726 07:24 PM 12-31-2007
I had my first (and only) at 40 and I never felt like I was too old. I'm 47 now and would have another if my finances allowed.
trini's Avatar trini 07:31 PM 12-31-2007
I certainly hope 38 isn't too old! I'm 36 right now and we just have one living child. I want more!!! DH is 8 years older than me, so I do always think about how old he'll be when our child(ren) are in high school.

I always planned to have 3 children and have them by the time I was 30. Here I am at 36 with one child and a history of IF. Life just doesn't always work out the way you plan!

I hope you and your dh can get on the same page about this!
imatulip's Avatar imatulip 09:48 PM 01-01-2008
I don't think you're too old, but I think it's up to each family what is best for them.
KBecks's Avatar KBecks 01:01 AM 01-02-2008
I think it varies by person. If you feel healthy and think you have the energy to handle another pregnancy and newborn, then go for it. (Your DH does have some say in the matter though, so you guys do need to talk!)

I'm 37 and am ready to stop. We have not finalized that choice yet but we're thinking we're done. I am tired and feel pretty worn out. I know I could have another and I wouldn't worry about health issues that much. I'd start to feel tentative around 40 but many women have BTDT too.
ginadc's Avatar ginadc 01:22 PM 01-02-2008
We adopted our DD (domestic infant open adoption) 2 years ago, when I was 38--can't believe she turns 2 in February! Then, as we were contemplating starting adoption #2, we decided to give pregnancy another try first, since we were just "pretty sure," not positive that I couldn't get pregnant. (I had breast cancer at 36; my cycles did return post-chemo, but docs didn't even want me to think about trying to get pregnant until at least 2 and preferably 3 years after treatment.)

Voila--here I am, almost 7 months pregnant at 40. I'll turn 41 about a month after this baby is born. I don't feel too old at all! I've been really lucky and this has so far been an extremely easy pregnancy. Now, ask me again when I'm chasing a toddler and toting a newborn if I feel old...

(And we haven't entirely ruled out a third. It's a wait and see kind of thing.)
Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 05:33 PM 01-02-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by trini View Post
I certainly hope 38 isn't too old! I'm 36 right now and we just have one living child.
I just noticed your son's birthdate - it's the same as ds2's.
I'm sorry for the loss of your ds1.

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I want more!!!
I know that feeling all too well.

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I always planned to have 3 children and have them by the time I was 30. Here I am at 36 with one child and a history of IF. Life just doesn't always work out the way you plan!
I know that feeling, too. I'd planned to have 4 children by somewhere in my very early 30s (31 or 32). I'm 40 in June, and have 3 living children...and it took a lot of years, and four lost ones (three m/c and a stillbirth) to get here.
trini's Avatar trini 06:18 PM 01-02-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I just noticed your son's birthdate - it's the same as ds2's.
I'm sorry for the loss of your ds1.


I know that feeling all too well.


I know that feeling, too. I'd planned to have 4 children by somewhere in my very early 30s (31 or 32). I'm 40 in June, and have 3 living children...and it took a lot of years, and four lost ones (three m/c and a stillbirth) to get here.

Ah, yes, that date in July was a VERY good one!

And hugs to you. The losses are so hard, but it makes the sweetness that much sweeter.
wendy1221's Avatar wendy1221 07:18 PM 01-02-2008
My ds1 is July 26, and that's my edd this time as well.
ewe+lamb's Avatar ewe+lamb 06:50 AM 01-03-2008
Our ds is 26 July 2005 too, how wonderful!!!!!
Jug's Avatar Jug 07:41 PM 01-03-2008
My mum was 40 when my little sister was born, shes now 7 years old and doing great. I dont thinl you're too old.
Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 08:20 PM 01-03-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by ewe+lamb View Post
Our ds is 26 July 2005 too, how wonderful!!!!!
Three of us in this one thread..that's kind of funny.
PattyCakes_726's Avatar PattyCakes_726 10:27 PM 01-03-2008
Make that four! 7/26 is my DS's birthday too.
Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 04:25 AM 01-04-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by PattyCakes_726 View Post
Make that four! 7/26 is my DS's birthday too.
I think there are five of us altogether...but three of us have sons born on July 26, 2005.
Britishmum's Avatar Britishmum 05:17 AM 01-04-2008
OP, you're a spring chicken. Honestly!

I hadn't even started my family at your age. Now I have three, bouncing, lively, healthy little kids. I may have a fourth, I am not sure yet. But I'm a far, far better mother than I'd have been at 25 or 35.

It always shocks me to hear people's attitudes to motherhood and age. I often hear it to my face, too, because I look a lot younger than I am. It makes me smile when people talk of 40 as 'old' for having children, or about how you don't have the energy or patience in your 40s. I have as much energy and a darned lot more patience now than I had at 20!! And I'm not unusual. Half the parents I know are in my age range. Times are changing, and 40 is no longer 'old' to have babies. My midwife tells me that she sees women my age with pregnancies almost as often as the young set these days.

So much of your age is to do with attitude. My parents are 70 and travel the world having adventures. India, Australia, Greenland, Cuba, Europe, Japan...........they've done it all. If someone told them they were 'too old' they'd laugh aloud. Life is what you make of it, and I"m not going to sit around getting old. That includes having children. If your life works out so that you want to make your family in your 30s, 40s or 50s, I say, go for it.
moondiapers's Avatar moondiapers 05:33 AM 01-04-2008
any time after menopause is too old unless you're talking adoption or suregacy.
BAU3's Avatar BAU3 10:16 AM 01-04-2008
..yeah, i would have to agree that after menopause would probably be too old... anytime before then your body is saying yes!

Had my 4th at 43 and wouldn't mind another....
gwerydd's Avatar gwerydd 04:50 PM 01-04-2008
a friend of mine had her first and only at 45. the pregnancy was hard on her but that was because she had a number of other medical issues to deal with as well. i think if you are healthy and feel up to it. why not?
Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 06:07 PM 01-04-2008
I had my first in my 20s, and my second in my 30s. I have to ask those who waited until their 30s or 40s for their first...how hard is it for you to cope with the sleep deprivation stage? In most areas, I didn't find the decade between my first and second made much difference - but it was so much harder to deal with the lack of sleep in my 30s than in my 20s.
mammal_mama's Avatar mammal_mama 07:03 PM 01-04-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I had my first in my 20s, and my second in my 30s. I have to ask those who waited until their 30s or 40s for their first...how hard is it for you to cope with the sleep deprivation stage? In most areas, I didn't find the decade between my first and second made much difference - but it was so much harder to deal with the lack of sleep in my 30s than in my 20s.
I had my first when I was almost 36, and I didn't find the sleep-changes that hard. Especially once I got the hang of nursing while lying down, and no longer had to sit up for the night nursings. Of course, I'm sure it makes it easier that I'm a SAHM, and can rest with my babies if we've had a restless night.
Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 07:37 PM 01-04-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I had my first when I was almost 36, and I didn't find the sleep-changes that hard. Especially once I got the hang of nursing while lying down, and no longer had to sit up for the night nursings. Of course, I'm sure it makes it easier that I'm a SAHM, and can rest with my babies if we've had a restless night.
I'm a SAHM, too. I was a WOHM in my 20s, and I still coped better with the sleep deprivation then than I did after dd. I always assumed it was an age thing, but it could have been something else.
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