I am soo sorry in not posting an update.
Yes we had the meeting--3 troop leaders and a lady from the "head office".Lots was said but it boiled down to this: According to the leaders,DD 'wanders" while attending mtgs (at a leaders home) and they are "worried" that she will wander away and get lost when they are out doing something off site. "it only takes a second for someone to get lost in the woods". My response is DD attends all sorts of "normal" things--school, dance, swimming-and she doesn't "wander". Frankly I am a little leery that 3 adult women cannot keep track of 7 girls in a regular sized house. What, they look up and DD is just "gone?" Hmm. The one off site thing they did this year, I went "secretly" and watched from a distance--a cookie sale at a big mall. DD was perfect..she greeted people, made change, took people's orders etc. certainly never wandered!When I pointed this out, the leaders responded, "Oh she was sleepy that day".
Anyway, the head office lady said that they would like to have dh or I attend mtgs at least in the beginning, to see dd settle in. The troop leader interrupted and said, "NO! EVERY MEETING!" , my dh said, "Well, you mean a parent..I can come, right?" To which they flat out rejected my dh!! "No we're all moms and we would feel more comfortable with MOM coming" So, just like that, they cut off their strongest supporter--My dh was willing to compromise, but this really hurt him.
I said, "Well, I think we're just going to take a little break from Scouting this year and concentrate on other activites instead." and left the table. The other ladies scrambled saying, "Oh no, we don't want THAT!" yeah right. Like I said, A LOT was said, and maybe you had to be there, but it was pretty evident they really didn't want dd there. DH is much calmer in situations such as these and even he had a bad taste in his mouth. I feel if "wandering " were really the issue, a reasonable requirement would be to have ONE of us with dd everytime they went off site--swimming, cookie sales whatever.