Preschool age children in "I am Legend" - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-31-2007, 12:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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FreeRangeMama just made a point I didn't articulate well when I mentioned serving as guides for our kids...my kids (4, 8ish and less than 1) wouldn't even have Saw or I am Legend on their radar unless dh and I put it there.
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Old 12-31-2007, 01:08 AM
 
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I saw a no-tv allowed kid do something very like that once. He picked up a plastic toy spatula and threatened to cut another kids head off. Then he spent a whole hour saying "I'm going to kill you....etc." He was joined by another no-tv allowed kid and they continued to play that way.

Meanwhile the TV-exposed kids were quietly and cooperatively playing with Playdoh (homemade even-)

I know these kids from playgroup and they pretty much ALWAYS play this way. Meanwhile the TV-exposed kids play much more creatively IMO and often play very gentle games. I don't think I've ever seen them act out that kind of violence.

Personally I think the difference is that the TV-exposed kids are given lots of opportunities for creative play and are also gently raised in a non-controlling way.
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I've seen the same thing, and I agree. I think a non-tv kid could have a similar outcome *if* the parents were very free in other ways, but I think parents who are controlling of something like TV are probably controlling in other ways, as well.
First of all, we weren't discussing tv-watching in this thread. My kid watches plenty of tv, but that doesn't mean he's watching hacker movies any more than he's watching snuff porn.

And I really want to make sure I understand your point. You've NEVER seen a child who has been exposed to violent images act violently. All violent behavior that you've seen has been done by non-violence-watching children. Really? That's certainly not been my experience.

My point from my first post was lost, so I'll try again.

Do your children ever play act any of the plots they are exposed to? My son certainly does. He plays Nemo, Winnie the Pooh, Little House on the Prairie, etc. Most of my son's friends also play in this manner.

If your child never play acts the violent scenes, why do you think that s/he doesn't?

And if s/he does, do you think that's just tough beans for the parents and the children who have chosen a more cautious approach?
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Old 12-31-2007, 01:13 AM
 
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FreeRangeMama just made a point I didn't articulate well when I mentioned serving as guides for our kids...my kids (4, 8ish and less than 1) wouldn't even have Saw or I am Legend on their radar unless dh and I put it there.

Do your kids ever watch tv? or perhaps get online, where ads pop up? How about walk through Blockbuster, where covers of these types of movies are routinely at eye level...does your 8 yr old go to school? They could easily learn about such movies from their friends.

We saw the preview for "I Am Legend" while watching another movie at the theater...i can't remember which movie, perhaps "Enchanted" or "The Golden Compass" as we've seen both recently. Then of course there are the ads on tv for the movie (which makes it look more like Cast Away in the city, or some action flick, and not scary)

My only point is that if you live in the world, and esp if you arent actively trying to prevent your kids from being exposed to such things, there are MANY ways for a child to learn about such movies without the parents "putting it there"....i cant tell you how many times we've been watching some innocuous tv show, like on Animal Planet or The Discovery Channel, and a scary ad for "Saw" would come on...or that creepy girl from The Ring...i've gotten good at diving for the remote and hitting "mute", as my son gets freaked out easily.

That being said....the movie that gave him the creeps, caused many a sleepless night and real fear, was a documentary we saw about black holes a few years ago....he was seriously afraid that he'd be sucked into a black hole. It was totally irrational, and he laughs about it now. But who knew that a science documentary about space could cause such trauma?!


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Old 12-31-2007, 05:29 AM
 
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And I really want to make sure I understand your point. You've NEVER seen a child who has been exposed to violent images act violently. All violent behavior that you've seen has been done by non-violence-watching children. Really? That's certainly not been my experience.
Of the kids I know, the ones who act out violently are the ones who have stricter parents when it comes to media exposure. I'm not trying to say that exposed kids are never violent, just that my experience contradicts the common belief that all exposed kids are.

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Do your children ever play act any of the plots they are exposed to?
Not very much. She is really into "Rent" right now and will play Maureen and dance around and sing her songs, but she did that before she saw the moviem just from listening to the soundtrack in the car.

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If your child never play acts the violent scenes, why do you think that s/he doesn't?
Most of her imaginary play is more realistic stuff . . . probably just her preference. She pretends to be a mommy, or a chef, or a vet, or an animal. The more I think about it, she really doesn't act out movies or tv.

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And if s/he does, do you think that's just tough beans for the parents and the children who have chosen a more cautious approach?
If she did . . . yeah, that's kind of what I think. I mean, you can't expect your kids to live in a bubble, and if you do, you better be really careful about letting them go to school with/play in the playground with/be in public with anyone who hasn't been parented in the exact same way.

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Old 12-31-2007, 06:20 AM
 
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If she did . . . yeah, that's kind of what I think. I mean, you can't expect your kids to live in a bubble, and if you do, you better be really careful about letting them go to school with/play in the playground with/be in public with anyone who hasn't been parented in the exact same way.
And this is where I have a problem. I don't see why one parent's right to expose their child to violence trumps the rights of others to not do so.

Several posts have been removed from the beginning of this thread, and I can't find the post that I would like to have quoted... something about getting pretty upset if someone asked management to have her young child removed from a violent movie? I believe that there was uproar about not telling another how to parent.

I believe your post teeters dangerously on doing exactly that. Because my son has never seen a hacker movie, I'm controlling and raising him in a bubble? And "I'd better be really careful?"

Luckily for me, the preschool my son attends does not tolerate violent play-acting of any type. In both instances that I described in a previous post, the children were sent home for the day.

I would also like to ask if you watch porn with your daughter, or if you limit her decision-making ability to that graphic level of sexual content? If you do not, why not?
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Old 12-31-2007, 06:29 AM
 
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I believe your post teeters dangerously on doing exactly that. Because my son has never seen a hacker movie, I'm controlling and raising him in a bubble? And "I'd better be really careful?"
I think you're well within your rights to decide not to expose your children to violent (or any other) type of media, but I would have said the same thing to anyone who was that particular about her child not being exposed to something . . . the world is a big and diverse place, and unless you only surround yourself with people who do things exactly like you, you are going to disapprove of things you and your children encounter. It happens to me, too . . . but it's just a part of life.

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I would also like to ask if you watch porn with your daughter, or if you limit her decision-making ability to that graphic level of sexual content? If you do not, why not?
We very rarely watch porn . . . I work with it a bit for my job and find most of it goofy rather than erotic. When we do watch, the kids are asleep. It's part of our sex life, not our entertainment, so it wouldn't make sense to watch with the kids. Besides, it's illegal, and I'm not going to have my kids taken away over it -- which is what I would tell dd if she found some and asked to watch it.

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Old 12-31-2007, 06:39 AM
 
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I don't believe the claims that a 2, 3, or 4 year old was ready to converse about Saw and decide for herself that she wanted to see it. I can't even imagine that most kids would be aware of movies like under most normal circumstances.
You won't get any arguments from me. I don't even know why you'd want to have that conversation. What if your child wasn't "ready" to see it? Now you've just made them aware of horrible things that they wouldn't have known about otherwise.
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Old 12-31-2007, 08:34 AM
 
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That was fascinating, thanks for the entertainment.

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Old 12-31-2007, 02:36 PM
 
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I sat down here to post my thoughts, but - honest to God - I am so shocked by some of the comments in this thread, I cannot compose my post as I wanted. I just find it very very sad. I guess there's nothing else I can say.
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Old 12-31-2007, 04:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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queenjane, my kids do watch tv, but we don't have cable so it is pretty much pbs kids and they don't run a bunch of ads for SAW or I am Legend or SuperBad during CyberChase. The one primetime show that they watch with us is the Amazing Race. Because the show is on so late we try to use the commercials to brush teeth, get jammies on, etc., but I am sure they catch an ad here. However, I can't remember it ever translating into asking to see an adult film. As for movie previews - again we don't go to the movies much, but when we do they are generally children's films and there are SOOO many ads that my kids rarely come out begging to see any ONE film.

My 8 year old does attend school. That is why he has asked to see some child-focused PG-13 movies (Harry Potter, Pirates, Transformers, Golden Compass) and we have discussed the plot with him and made a case-by-case decision WITH him. I doubt there are a bunch of 2nd graders running around and pumping up the movie SAW : But again this thread did not start about 8 year olds - it started about PRESCHOOL age children (of which I have 2) so NO they don't attend a school where somebody is telling them about horror movies. There is a huge difference between what my 8 year old can handle and UNDERSTAND and what my 4 year old can handle and UNDERSTAND.

So I stand by my experience. DH and I would need to set the tone for my kids to be really interested in seeing these sorts of films at the ages they are right now. I am not saying this will hold true as they get older or is true for anybody elses kids, but I am fairly certain MOST 3 and 4 year olds aren't ASKING to see SAW.
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Old 12-31-2007, 06:10 PM
 
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And I really want to make sure I understand your point. You've NEVER seen a child who has been exposed to violent images act violently. All violent behavior that you've seen has been done by non-violence-watching children. Really?
I can't say 100% as I'm sure that kids exposed to violent images DO act violently. But I'm also saying that I've seen plenty of violence acted out by kids who aren't exposed to that kind of imagery.

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Do your children ever play act any of the plots they are exposed to? My son certainly does. He plays Nemo, Winnie the Pooh, Little House on the Prairie, etc. Most of my son's friends also play in this manner.
Not that I've ever seen, no.

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If your child never play acts the violent scenes, why do you think that s/he doesn't?
I'm not 100% sure but I think part of it may be due to personality. They do play games like "police" sometimes but not with characters.

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And if s/he does, do you think that's just tough beans for the parents and the children who have chosen a more cautious approach?
No, not at all. I don't like it when the kids I've known play aggressively, especially as it used to be directed against my kids. I do have the feeling the parents think that their kids are perfect and can do no wrong because they don't let them watch TV. These parents also don't supervise their kids very closely when it comes to playing-though they tend to be very present in every other area.
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Old 12-31-2007, 06:13 PM
 
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I am fairly certain MOST 3 and 4 year olds aren't ASKING to see SAW.
I agree.

We just took dd (3 1/2 to her first movie in a theater. It was The Red Balloon. She loved it. However, we also left after that one and didn't watch the next one, also a French children's short film called The White Mane. A few others left as well with their babies and very young children, but the vast majority of the theatergoers stayed. I know, however, that my sensitive dd would not have been able to handle that one comfortably.

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Old 12-31-2007, 06:21 PM
 
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But again this thread did not start about 8 year olds - it started about PRESCHOOL age children (of which I have 2) so NO they don't attend a school where somebody is telling them about horror movies. There is a huge difference between what my 8 year old can handle and UNDERSTAND and what my 4 year old can handle and UNDERSTAND.

So I stand by my experience. DH and I would need to set the tone for my kids to be really interested in seeing these sorts of films at the ages they are right now. I am not saying this will hold true as they get older or is true for anybody elses kids, but I am fairly certain MOST 3 and 4 year olds aren't ASKING to see SAW.
Well, this thread didnt start about "horror films" either...it was about "I Am Legend" which is NOT a "horror film"....it veered off into "preschoolers seeing "Saw" " later on.

I just dont think a four yr old in a Will Smith action film, with some scary bits, (which is how this film was advertised)is the issue people are turning it into.

That being said, a child crying to leave ANY movie, even a G rated cartoon, because they are scared (or for any other reason)IS an issue, and should have been handled by the parents. I would be upset about the child crying, regardless of what the movie was. To me, THAT is the real issue.


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Old 12-31-2007, 06:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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From my perspective "I am Legend" was a horror movie.
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Old 12-31-2007, 08:06 PM
 
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That being said, a child crying to leave ANY movie, even a G rated cartoon, because they are scared (or for any other reason)IS an issue, and should have been handled by the parents. I would be upset about the child crying, regardless of what the movie was. To me, THAT is the real issue.

I totally agree. (Not a suprise lol)

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Old 12-31-2007, 08:07 PM
 
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From my perspective "I am Legend" was a horror movie.

Right, and for me it would likely be too much as well, but lots of people see it as a thriller/action/sci-fi type of thing too. It varies quite a bit. I think the genre isn't always so black and white.

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Old 12-31-2007, 08:45 PM
 
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Like I said already, I know my kids and I trust my instincts with them. I also know that my own experiences contradict yours.

I think it is silly for you (and others) to waste your time and energy worrying about what I and other parents choose for our families, when it comes to something as subjective as a movie, but if that's what you want to do, have fun.
I don't think young children should be at a movie like I am Legend. I can't remember a time when I hadn't seen movies like Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Gremlins, etc. My parents showed these to me when I was home, though, not in theater.

I was in A History of Violence a couple years ago and had small children in there, maybe 4 - 6 and the movie was totally inappropiate.

If you think you're kids will be okay viewing this stuff rent the DVD. Don't pester movie goers because your kid is screaming to leave the theater, or running up and the stairs, or crying in an adult themed movie.

And, no, I am Legend was PG-13 and rightly so. No need for R. I'd let my kids see this at 8 or 9 perhaps. (I let my son see Spider-Man at 3, Pirates at 4. He can handle this stuff surprisingly well if we talk about it beforehand and what's to be expected. But not in the theaters.)
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Old 12-31-2007, 08:49 PM
 
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If you think you're kids will be okay viewing this stuff rent the DVD. Don't pester movie goers because your kid is screaming to leave the theater, or running up and the stairs, or crying in an adult themed movie.
HUH???!!! My child has NEVER done any of those things in a movie theater, and I daresay she never would. She knows how to behave in the movies, and if she wasn't able to do that (in any movie, not just an adult-themed one) we would be out the door so fast her head would spin.

The only people who could possibly be bothered by my child being in a movie theater are people who are upset at the mere presence of a child where they don't think one should be . . . and frankly, about that I couldn't care less.

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Old 12-31-2007, 09:31 PM
 
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We've seen the Saw trilogy (or are there four now?) and my five year old saw those with us either at home or in the theater, she saw Children of Men in the theater with us .




Why? Why? Why? Why does a 5 year old CHILD need to see images of death, torture, blood, violence??????????? WHY??????????



This just makes me sick.
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Old 12-31-2007, 09:36 PM
 
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Why? Why? Why? Why does a 5 year old CHILD need to see images of death, torture, blood, violence??????????? WHY??????????



This just makes me sick.



I agree, and still don't get it, even after many explanations. A FIVE YEAR OLD?!?!? I'm cool (sort of,lol) with an older child seeing this, but exposing a FIVE year old to torture, blood, violence makes me want to cry, too. That poor kid.
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