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Old 12-30-2007, 08:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am in a VERY bad mood today, and this just pushed me over the edge.

We were at Costco. After shopping my DH and I sat down to eat at the Cosco food area. If you have ever been there, the tables are located just inside the exit.

There was a family of three adults and two two year old twin boys. The boys were cute, and I had just told my husband "aww, how cute".

Within minutes, the boys had finished eating and started running around the table, then around the table and out into the exiting traffic. There were litterally hundreds of people pushing large, full carts of stuff through the isle to leave the store. These two tiny kids kept having near misses, because they were too small to see over the parents head to see the carts, and too small to be seen. The three adults never even said "come here", or "walk", or anything. They just went on eating and talking.

After about seven or so trips out into the traffic, an older gentelman pushing a full and heavy cart out of the store, clipped one of the boys who had just run in front of him, the boy fell into another cart, and cut his forehead. TWO of the adults with the child jumped up to go after the older gentleman.

The dad yells "DUDE!" The mom says something to him, then they both gather up the child (who was fine, just a scratch) and they tell the man to "Watch where you are going".

My husband said "Or you could control your kids". <--couldn't believe he said that.

But, honestly, it is true. If you are going to allow your kids to run around Costco, don't expect other people to watch out for them. Why don't some parents care what their kids are doing, but want others to care?
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Old 12-30-2007, 08:14 PM
 
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My husband said "Or you could control your kids".
I always want to say it but don't. Good for him!!!
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Old 12-30-2007, 08:18 PM
 
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Good for your husband! What did the parents do when he said that? What did the older gentleman do?

.

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Old 12-30-2007, 08:21 PM
 
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People like that drive me nuts, but I DO say something. I politely let them know that their child(ren) might be hurt running around in a place where its diffiicult to see them.
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Old 12-30-2007, 08:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Good for your husband! What did the parents do when he said that? What did the older gentleman do?
Dad said "F*** you"

And the man was just worried about the boy, but as he left, he rolled his eyes and shook his head.
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Old 12-30-2007, 08:24 PM
 
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They'll probably sue Costco for it, and win.
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Old 12-31-2007, 12:50 AM
 
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The irony never ceases to amaze me on this. Parents don't feel it's important to look after the safety of their children, but are all too happy to blame others for anything that happens to go wrong for their kids. *sigh* The two chief lessons the kids learn here?

1. That they are not important enough to their parents to be looked after properly and...

2. That when something goes wrong, DO NOT take personal responsibility, and make darned sure to blame someone else.

Arg.

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Old 12-31-2007, 03:41 AM
 
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The irony never ceases to amaze me on this. Parents don't feel it's important to look after the safety of their children, but are all too happy to blame others for anything that happens to go wrong for their kids. *sigh* The two chief lessons the kids learn here?

1. That they are not important enough to their parents to be looked after properly and...

2. That when something goes wrong, DO NOT take personal responsibility, and make darned sure to blame someone else.

Arg.

The best,
Em
This is so true!
This type of situation is one of my biggest pet peeves. I see it all the time....
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Old 12-31-2007, 03:46 AM
 
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Good for your husband. People are really amazing sometimes. I understand that kids will be kids, but there is a limit to that. Poor old man. :

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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Old 12-31-2007, 03:47 AM
 
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The irony never ceases to amaze me on this. Parents don't feel it's important to look after the safety of their children, but are all too happy to blame others for anything that happens to go wrong for their kids. *sigh* The two chief lessons the kids learn here?

1. That they are not important enough to their parents to be looked after properly and...

2. That when something goes wrong, DO NOT take personal responsibility, and make darned sure to blame someone else.

Arg.

The best,
Em

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Old 12-31-2007, 12:41 PM
 
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I admit to being the parent that lets her kids do things that make all of the other parents cringe...but DUDE!

When my daughter is being very 4 and running ahead of me at a store with carts I am constantly reminding her to watch out for others, she could be knocked into. If it happened I would never think to blame the person with the cart. (For the record-I do make her get into our cart if she is having a hard time that day being aware of the other shoppers.)

I just don't get parents that don't take responsibility for their parenting choices. Poor kid.

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Old 12-31-2007, 12:49 PM
 
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Good for your DH! And the dad really said F-U?! GREAT example there!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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Old 12-31-2007, 01:11 PM
 
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Wow. I guess I could see parents who don't care if their kids run wild out there (I personally wouldn't do it!) but to get angry when they get hit with a cart? That's just nuts.

And dropping an F-bomb? Classy.

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Old 12-31-2007, 01:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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When my daughter is being very 4 and running ahead of me at a store with carts I am constantly reminding her to watch out for others, she could be knocked into. .
But, this was like Herding cattle through a chute. The carts were three carts across and moving fast to get to the exit. It wasn't like the occasional cart that you might pass in Wal Mart. It's like letting your 12 year old play on the freeway, then being mad at the driver when he gets hit by a car.

These parents just didn't want to be bothered. Since there were three adults, and two kids, this should have been easy. The kids still could have goofed off while they waited, but they needed a little guidance from the adults.

And as for the F-bomb, the parents were kinda young, and that isn't really unusual around here, and the way my husband said "Or you could control your kids" was pretty rude. In fact, I was a little nervous that it would escalate, but my DH dropped it after that.
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Old 12-31-2007, 01:42 PM
 
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I still say good for him, rude or not. Maybe it will make the parents think next time.
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Old 12-31-2007, 01:45 PM
 
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and the way my husband said "Or you could control your kids" was pretty rude. In fact, I was a little nervous that it would escalate, but my DH dropped it after that.
No matter who he said it it would have been rude. And it wasn't helpful. It didn't help the man or the parents diffuse anything.
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Old 12-31-2007, 02:16 PM
 
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Blunt, yes. Rude, not so sure. They DID need to control their kids, and someone else had already been affected by their failure to do so. There's nothing wrong with pointing that out. I've been to Costco (okay, I practically live at Costco) and there is NO WAY I would let my kids run loose around the exit. The carts are huge, they're always piled with stuff, and there are bins full of cardboard boxes blocking everyone's sightlines.
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Old 12-31-2007, 02:24 PM
 
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Blunt, yes. Rude, not so sure. They DID need to control their kids
I do think it's rude. Rude to everyone involved; the kids, the parents, the OP as she cringed upon hearing her DH's interjection, and the man who felt bad and I'm sure just wanted to say sorry and get out of there without having a situation escalate.

For the record, I do not and have never controlled DS. Even when he was running ahead or wild there may have been a need to remind him to be safe but never a need to control him. Kids aren't robots or remote controlled vehicles. They don't need to be controlled.
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Old 12-31-2007, 02:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For the record, I do not and have never controlled DS. Even when he was running ahead or wild there may have been a need to remind him to be safe but never a need to control him. Kids aren't robots or remote controlled vehicles. They don't need to be controlled.
Then who's job is it to keep him safe? Who's job is it to keep him from hurting an elderly woman who never saw him coming? I hope you tie bells to him so people know he's running wild.
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Old 12-31-2007, 02:49 PM
 
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I don't care for the word "control" but switch it with "adequately supervise" maybe.
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Old 12-31-2007, 02:59 PM
 
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I probably would have said the same thing as your husband if I had been alone.... if DH had been there I probably wouldn't have because he would have been roped-in to defending me.

It's not up to the OP or her husband to help these "parents" to diffuse anything. He was defending the older man, who was the truly injured party in this case.

The couple with the children know better than to allow their small children to run around in an area like that, a large rodent would know better, but the difference is they don't care and they expect everyone else to do so.

Don't fall into the trap of "well, you could have helped the situation...." that's exactly what enables these kinds of irresponsible people in the first place and allows them to bully people who are responsible.

....

Just because the parents were young shouldn't mean that one should accept the swearing and the irresponsibility. My parents had children younger than most are having them now (I realise things were different then, but still) and they would never have allowed us to behave that way or to put ourselves in jeopardy in such a way.

....

My DH saw something like this the other day, thank goodness that the child wasn't hurt.

He was working on his thesis in a coffee shoppe when a mother with a 14 month old came in. Not unusual.

What WAS unusual was that the mother got herself a coffee, sat down, took the child out of her stroller and then proceeded to read the newspaper..... while the little girl started screeeeeeeeeching like a banshee at the top of her lungs and RUNNING around the shop while people were carrying steaming hot drinks and trying to read. She didn't even look up from her paper. My husband was dumbfounded. Not only was she oblivious while her child was disrupting more than a dozen people (some of whom had their own children with them) but she was totally ignoring the fact that her child could have been seriously scalded by hot drinks that people were carrying back to their tables.

After about twenty minutes of this, several people left and the manager finally asked the woman "could you please control your child, it's disruptive and dangerous to allow her to do this" she look startled and then basically shrugged. DH left, so I don't know how much longer this went on.

Thankfully these things are rare in my neighbourhood; most parents are very attentive and responsive to their children, while at the same time, respecting the time and peace of other people around them.

The disruption without correction is bad enough... what was really appalling about this situation (and the original post in this thread) is the total disregard for the safety of the children involved.

Trin.
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Old 12-31-2007, 03:15 PM
 
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good for you husband. i would have thought it, but never said it.
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Old 12-31-2007, 03:32 PM
 
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Haha, good for your husband!

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Old 12-31-2007, 03:47 PM
 
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He was just saying what, no doubt, countless others were thinking.

I don't think it's rude at all. It's an honest evaluation of the situation at hand. And perhaps it will be a reason for the other parents to reconsider their behavior the next time they allow their children to use a crowded store as their personal playground.

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Old 12-31-2007, 04:19 PM
 
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Good for him, my Dh would of said the same thing.



He did confront a parent yesterday at a indoor play area, the child was very visibly ill, bloody snot everywhere, glassy eyes, then she started puking everywhere, all over the slide, all the floor, And the mom just sat there, ignoring her child, pretending that nothing had happened.

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Old 12-31-2007, 05:21 PM
 
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Then who's job is it to keep him safe? Who's job is it to keep him from hurting an elderly woman who never saw him coming? I hope you tie bells to him so people know he's running wild.
Ditto this. Keeping some sort of handle on my sons' behavior is my JOB. Suggesting that doing so is demeaning their humanity is mighty pompous.
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Old 12-31-2007, 05:28 PM
 
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I don't care for the word "control" but switch it with "adequately supervise" maybe.
: - and it's not so much about controlling your kid, as being considerate of others around you - I think THAT'S the issue. I'm not hip on "controlling" my kids, but I'll be damned if they are going to be running around bothering other people out in public. If they need to run around and be crazy, we'll go home or to a playground, even if it's inconvenient for me at that time. There's a time and place for everything, and the exit area at Costco is neither the time nor the place.

I know that maybe it's semantics, but honestly when it comes to kids it's amazing what a subtle turn of a phrase and rephrasing things more positively can do.

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Old 12-31-2007, 05:30 PM
 
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Good for your DH! And the dad really said F-U?! GREAT example there!
Considering the source, are you really surprised?

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Old 12-31-2007, 05:31 PM
 
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I still say good for him, rude or not. Maybe it will make the parents think next time.

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Old 12-31-2007, 05:39 PM
 
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I don't care for the word "control" but switch it with "adequately supervise" maybe.
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: - and it's not so much about controlling your kid, as being considerate of others around you - I think THAT'S the issue. I'm not hip on "controlling" my kids, but I'll be damned if they are going to be running around bothering other people out in public. If they need to run around and be crazy, we'll go home or to a playground, even if it's inconvenient for me at that time. There's a time and place for everything, and the exit area at Costco is neither the time nor the place.

I know that maybe it's semantics, but honestly when it comes to kids it's amazing what a subtle turn of a phrase and rephrasing things more positively can do.
I agree with this. Granted, many of us have the common sense to simply say, "the kids are done sitting still, better pack up the rest of our lunch to take home and go before someone gets hurt." But that afternoon, the parents in the OP's story did not.

I get the feeling the comment the OP's DH made was more for the benefit of the man being berated for clipping the kid with his cart. Which was unfair of the parents to do. But I may have said something to the man like, "Oh it's not your fault they're little how could you see them?" and if in earshot of the parents I could turn to them and say, "Is he going to be okay? Poor little guy really needed to run off some energy. Too bad there are all these big carts around where he can't safely do that, huh?"
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