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#121 of 582 Old 09-02-2008, 07:39 AM
 
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Hi. ADHD combined type mom here. Oh and anxiety and depression too. Have one DD 11 months old, one DH who's bipolar.

Whee.

Can't think of too much to say at this time. (haven't had my morning dose of caffiene) so I'll leave it here and come back at it later.
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#122 of 582 Old 09-02-2008, 10:33 AM
 
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I'm new too this thread. I was diagnosed with ADD when i was six, years before it was popular or well heard of. I took Ritalin on and off for years. Then in college I switched to Dexedrine and can't imagine my life without it. I will say that for the first time I tried DHA (strawberry flavor none the less) and in combo with my meds worked really well.

I'd love another little one but being off meds was extremely hard for me. Even on my meds I find it next to impossible to clean our apartment. I get distracted by other things. Like being on the computer Or i go to clean a room and then i take the stuff to the other room and then I get stuck in that room and so on.
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#123 of 582 Old 09-02-2008, 10:41 AM
 
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Hey mamas, I just realized Parenting might not be the best fit for you, since this is not just about how ADD/ADHD fits with parenting. If you'd like to go back to FYT or can think of another forum that already would host this conversation (I can't but I am kind of tapped ) just PM me and let know.

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#124 of 582 Old 09-02-2008, 10:49 AM
 
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I came across this interesting article about bipolar disorder and older dads just this morning. I'm posting this here because many of us are aware that there's a huge overlap in symptoms between adhd and bipolar, specifically bipolar II. I believe I've posted here before. Anyway, I have bipolar II, and my daughter is currently being treated for adhd.

By the way, my father was 45 y.o. when I was born.

I was kind of surprised to find this thread here in Parenting anyway. Didn't it used to be in the Tribes forum?? Sounds like the right place to me.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
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#125 of 582 Old 09-02-2008, 10:52 AM
 
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I hate to jump in after they've asked us to move, but I'm subbingto this one. ADHD Self-medicated with caffine. I know.... But seruoisly, it's all natural and no more dangerous than other stimulants. DH id Adhd as is DS, and most likely, this little one comming. OH well! When we get settled, I'll post more

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#126 of 582 Old 09-02-2008, 11:01 AM
 
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Hi! I'm self-diagnosed with ADD and the psychologist who diagnosed my son agrees that I'm probably right, although he can't diagnose me because I'm not his patient. My mom quite obviously has it, too, so I guess it runs in the family.

My major problem right now is getting appointments and phone calls done. There is this constant swirl in my head of all these things I cannot forget to do and I can't keep track of them. I finally made myself write them as I thought of them and the list was two full pages! I'm constantly amazed that I have something I'm required to go to almost every day even as a SAHM. It seems like every appointment brings with it two more that must be scheduled immediately. And usually I panic and schedule at the office even though I don't have my calendar so I don't forget and then go home to find I'm double or triple booked. And then I keep procrastinating on calling to change the time because I'm embarrassed.
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#127 of 582 Old 09-02-2008, 01:23 PM
 
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Well, considering we're getting more mamas who fit, moving was a good thing!

Hi all you new to us Mamas! This is a support, tell us about yourself/share tips, books, etc/maybe get accountability for getting projects done/commiserate with other mamas who get how your brain works, etc, thread.

I don't recall how I found it because I hardly spend time in Tribes.

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#128 of 582 Old 09-02-2008, 01:48 PM
 
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A book recommendation: It's Hard to Make a Difference When You Can't Find Your Keys by Marilyn Paul.

It's exceptionally good. She doesn't give you tips on how to organize your closet. She leads you through therapy, basically.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
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#129 of 582 Old 09-02-2008, 07:18 PM
 
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I keep finding tribes that I didn't know existed but are a perfect fit. They need to stop moving tribes out of FYT before I'm completely attached to my computer.

I did a drug study for a neuropsychiatrist two years ago. I was diagnosed with ADHD. I'm 99.99% sure I was taking the placebo since they kept increasing the dosage of "Conserta" with absolutely no change. When the study was over, I started finding the drug that fit me the best. Adderall XR was the best one at the time but I'm thinking Vyvanse might work as well.

I've been off my meds since February since I've been out of work (and uninsured.) I'd probably be able to afford the generic Adderall and just take it twice a day (it's only short acting.) But I haven't had an appointment with a doctor since last summer and need to have an evaluation to continue to get the meds prescribed.
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#130 of 582 Old 09-03-2008, 12:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Maggirayne View Post
Well, considering we're getting more mamas who fit, moving was a good thing!

Hi all you new to us Mamas! This is a support, tell us about yourself/share tips, books, etc/maybe get accountability for getting projects done/commiserate with other mamas who get how your brain works, etc, thread.

I don't recall how I found it because I hardly spend time in Tribes.
I think I begged someone to join my tribe!


Hello, and Welcome, new Mommas! I'm glad you all found us (glad we found you all? oh, never mind. . .) I'm glad for the move, if it means we can have more opinions/experiences to share, it's telling that so many new faces found us just today!

When I looked in the FYT archives, it seemed quite a few ADD/ADHD tribes had started and fizzled, so maybe it wouldn't be the best place for us. I do confess though, that I'd never have thought to look in Parenting, and wouldn't have found us again at all if not for a most helpful (mighty) moderator!

I was actually thinking that we sort of fall into more of a 'twice exceptional' category, since a lot of what we talk about is the irony of being so quick and bright with some things., and so embarrassingly dull with others!

If you have a good idea where we should live, please weigh in, and we'll keep FYT as a default residence!

Me- ? not sure. . .

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#131 of 582 Old 09-03-2008, 12:24 AM
 
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I think we should keep hopping from forum to forum. After all, that's how our brains operate.
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#132 of 582 Old 09-03-2008, 12:25 AM
 
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Personally, I found a diagnosis extremely difficult to get, because I"m not always bouncing off the walls. I'm extremly impulsive, but not very hyper. I am extremely unfocused, daydreamy, and cater to addicting behaviors. (Right now I"m fighting addiction to the internet, to be quite honest.)

My parents had a very backwards philosophy on AD/HD; self diagnosed me when I was in middle school after watching an episode on 60 minutes. But I never saw a proffessional on it until well after I was married.

My mom read books from the library on my ad/hd but, never really applied what she read. They thought they could nag, talk, and discipline me out of AD/HD. They were far from proffessionals on dealing with it, and yet refused to see one.

I thought ad/hd was something i would grow out of.

But I found that I made impulsive life altering decisions that have forever changed my life. I often find myself wondering what life would have been like if I had been treated for ad/hd and wasn't such a failure with poor follow through and such great impulses.

1st, I wouldn't have eloped. I may have finished college and been a bit better off.

I have to force myself to accept life as it is what it is.

I just get resentful when I'm on meds and I see just how much better life is going with handling finances, my follow through, self control, reaching my goals, even being so much more patient with my child and get really resentful because this is the "real me". This is who I want to be in my mind when I'm not on meds and can't be. On meds, I can be who I am in my mind. If I had tapped into that in late teen/early adulthood, I could have warded off some of the life-altering mistakes I deal with today.


I have a hard time getting past it, and yes I still hold a lot of resentment towards my parents. But it's not just this, it's their cavalier "i am the boss" attitudes that show up in other aspects, such as raising my kid. I don't know, I feel like they wanted me to always be dependant on them, or something, I dunno. They thrive off of telling me I'm not doing something right, correcting me, and generally "parenting" me, even though I'm pushing 30 years old. I need this when I'm not medicated, and I resent needing to be pushed along. I don't think they like it when I'm medicated, doing well, and don't need anything from them at all. Their need to "parent" is not fulfilled when I'm medicated, I don't think. It's all very weird.

Anyhow, I'm rambling.
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#133 of 582 Old 09-03-2008, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey! I know you from the October DDC!

First, welcome, and We've all more or less BTDT, and I recognize the things you talked about from my own life.

I think you're right, and your parents unfortunately built a lot of their parental identity around 'fixing' you, my mom did, particularly.

You sound a lot like me, I'm the 'innattentive type' which is such an incomplete title, YK? I was never hyper either, and I think it makes it a lot harder to get diagnosed. Being a dreamer looks like laziness to too many people- like my mom.

Dealing with ADD does give us tendencies toward addiction, mine is caffeine, majorly, but it would be so easy to slip away into something else, too.

Welcome to the tribe!

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#134 of 582 Old 09-03-2008, 06:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
Dealing with ADD does give us tendencies toward addiction, mine is caffeine, majorly, but it would be so easy to slip away into something else, too.
This.

I have major computer addiction issues and I'm taking online classes. (omg)

Anyone else feeling overwhelmed w/school and it's barely started? 'Cause I feel like I need a clone or something. For really.
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#135 of 582 Old 09-03-2008, 07:10 PM
 
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Hey! I know you from the October DDC!

First, welcome, and We've all more or less BTDT, and I recognize the things you talked about from my own life.

I think you're right, and your parents unfortunately built a lot of their parental identity around 'fixing' you, my mom did, particularly.

You sound a lot like me, I'm the 'innattentive type' which is such an incomplete title, YK? I was never hyper either, and I think it makes it a lot harder to get diagnosed. Being a dreamer looks like laziness to too many people- like my mom.

Dealing with ADD does give us tendencies toward addiction, mine is caffeine, majorly, but it would be so easy to slip away into something else, too.

Welcome to the tribe!
Thanks! My body wants caffein SO BAD right now, and I'm not on meds right now (ugh! the horrors!) because of the jumping bean, I don't take either. Occassionally I'll have a bit of caffeinated tea or some chocolate (don't tell my midwife! : ) and I ALWAYS get a lot accomplished afterwards for a short period of time. Of course the little jumping bean reminds me as well by rearranging my kidneys and telling me that my bladder is getting in his way as well.

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This.

I have major computer addiction issues and I'm taking online classes. (omg)

Anyone else feeling overwhelmed w/school and it's barely started? 'Cause I feel like I need a clone or something. For really.
Before I found out I was pregnant, I was on Concerta. And I started school online with Penn Foster. Things were going great for a couple of weeks, then I found out I was pregnant, stopped meds, and everything went out the window from there.

I don't think I've ever finished much of anything off of meds. Ever. Not something as major as going to college (dropped out twice) or as minor as an art project. Most of my art projects sit around unfinished.
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#136 of 582 Old 09-03-2008, 10:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, yes, I have felt like a clone is necessary, not just usefull, my entire life!

I won't be taking any new classes until January, my pastor/mentor's orders, in order to help me avoid PPD this time around. That hasn't stopped her from continuing my spiritual development all on her own though!
I was doing classes unmedicated, and it required a lot of caffeine.

Speaking of which, My MW just told me caffeine is OK. I mentioned it had started to taste good again, and had been drinking some, and asked her if I needed to cut back before delivery. I'm drinking maybe 2 not huge mugs a day. She said it wasn't necessary, moderation was the key, and reminded me that lots of French women drink a glass of wine every night while PG!

It's just that a cup of coffee makes my brain run straight, at least for a while the fog lifts. . .


I have a few (?) unfinished projects laying around too. . .

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#137 of 582 Old 09-04-2008, 12:43 AM
 
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I think we should keep hopping from forum to forum. After all, that's how our brains operate.

Quote:
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This.

I have major computer addiction issues and I'm taking online classes. (omg)

Anyone else feeling overwhelmed w/school and it's barely started? 'Cause I feel like I need a clone or something. For really.
Anyone else think of where Calvin makes copies of himself and sends them to school in place of himself?

And I'm spacey/daydreamer type(lazy). My mom got upset when I self-diagnosed ADD. I think she thought it was an excuse. I need someone to help keep me accountable.

Mama to 2 year old and :: June 14th!
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#138 of 582 Old 09-04-2008, 12:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dad loves calvin and hobbes!

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#139 of 582 Old 09-04-2008, 02:59 PM
 
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My dad loves calvin and hobbes!
Same w/my DH. We actually pick up the "Franklin Richards, Son a of a Genius" oneshots because they are written in that same style.
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#140 of 582 Old 09-05-2008, 11:44 PM
 
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Freaky that this thread is here. I attempted to read all 138 messages in the thread before mine, but i just could not do it. I think i made it to 25 or so.

I too have ADHD, it sucks I hate it and it makes me feel like a stupid ass all the time. I also have depression and anxiety. I am unmedicated as I am breastfeeding and have no drug benefit insurance.

I wish I had people in my life who understood me, but i have none. I feel rather lonely, but have most of my life.

I am the classic ADHD girl, i am the bright one who does not meet her potential. In university I had a few professors looking at me as graduate student potential as I am very bright and unique. I never got as far as applying to gradschool because i ended up not being able to keep up with homework. I was as single mom for most of my academic career as well, so that made things even harder.

I really hope to go back to university and fix my mistakes there, but i do not know that will ever happen. That pains be deeply as I am an intellectual person, and not being in an environment with other people like myself is torture to me.

I have learned ways to cope, i wiggle my toes a lot so people do not see my figiting, i use a lot of self talk to bring my thoughts back, i practice mindfulness where i can. I do not really self medicate. I used to with coffee and cigarettes, but i quit smoking and only drink some coffee now. I have been on meds in the past with varying results. I did like ritalin because it was fast acting and did not have to build up to work, but the ritalin burn out was hell, all the agitation and tearfulness, not worth it. I tried wellbutrin, it works rather well for me, but only for a little while. Dexedrine was awful on my body, and pemoline has been recalled. I need therapy for this, by someone more qualified than myself. The thing is, in my community, no one is available to help me. I had a counselor tell me i was brilliant and managed it well by myself, and that there was no one who could teach or help me because i know so much already. I think it is hard to be your own therapist or case manager.

I lose things all the time, i forget what i am doing a lot. I often start things i do not finish. I am not getting anywhere. I am raising 4 children, and have a 5th a few months a year. The kids are inspired by me, but it is very hard for me to keep any of them scheduled or have all their clothes clean, forms signed etc. Needless to say tho, we are very close and there is a lot of love between us.

I am creative however, and my mind is so very hungry. I hyperfocus a lot. It has gotten me in trouble in my relationships. I think this is why people call me a walking encyclopedia, i know a lot of things. It is all because i have an insatiable need to understand.

I have recently started sewing and this is inspiring to me, but it is hard to keep it all organised. I am not too bad at it either it is a simple joy.

My off topic question is, how in the world do all of you get to have more than one smiley in your signature line? Whenever i try to add CDing, BFing, no circ, all that, i am told i can have only one. How do i fix this? I have a desire to be known, so i would like to put more in my line as well.

Anyway, i guess i was just venting in hopes of being understood, i am so over tired right now, Peace
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#141 of 582 Old 09-07-2008, 12:23 AM
 
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I'm ADD, as well. Not medicated.

My therapist and I kinda figured it out when I was being treated for depression. (Meds were difficult for me-I really disliked the side effects.) And then I went off to my regular doc who confirmed the diagnosis but, get this, basically wrote down a couple books for me to read. I don't remember the titles but they were not exactly the kind of books someone with focus issues could read. Ugh. Not helpful at all.

I have really bad memory and an inability to store a lot of information. I have to work HARD not to tune out when people talk to me. I still do sometimes anyhow. I find it very difficult to organize anything-my thoughts, actual stuff, whatever. My house is messy and I'm (at 30 years old) still teaching myself how to tackle tasks by breaking them up into smaller bits and not walking away because I see a mess that is completely overwhelming.

I get very overwhelmed sometimes and need a mental break.

I have also struggled a lot with depression although my stint in therapy did wonders for me. I have an amazing self awareness now that helps so much. I haven't been in therapy for a little over a year and so far, doing okay. If I feel myself slipping, back I'll go.
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#142 of 582 Old 09-10-2008, 08:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi guys. . . I'm soory I dropped off the radar for a while, it's been taking all of my mental energy just to deal with life right now, and to tell the truth, I feel like giving up.

Before this gets out of hand though, let me say welcome to Pumpkincat and bnhmama! Hello!

bnhmama- I think it's the worst kept secret that meds have huge side effects, and often, just plain old don't work. I think your self awareness will be your best weapon!

Pumpkincat- When you hit member status you can have a few more smileys, and then when you hit senoir member, a few more. Just keep posting, and you'll get there! I really like how you said this-

"I am creative however, and my mind is so very hungry. I hyperfocus a lot. It has gotten me in trouble in my relationships. I think this is why people call me a walking encyclopedia, i know a lot of things. It is all because i have an insatiable need to understand."

I think this represents quite a few of us, here. Don't worry about not having read all the posts, they'll still be there when you have time for them! I think also, the problem with counselling is that noone is really qualified to counsel us except another fellow ADD brain, and we all know where that would go, don't we?


AAM- I'm sorry to do this, but you all are probably the only ones who will understand, and I need to talk about this right now.

I am going to kill my DH. Whe I was PP with DS, I got really wacko, I'm sure I had PPD, because nothing else expleins the images tht would run through my head. So many nights, I sat up in bed while DH snored away, and if I hadn't been holding my nursing newborn, I would have gotten out of bed, and gone down to the kitchen for my big knife, and that would have been it- no more Matt. I knew I would be prone to this sort of thing because of having ADD and the accompanying anxiety to begin with, but I didn't know it would be that bad. We got through it, with the incidental (almost accidental) help of a counsellor.

See, DH is the kind of guy who never does any more than is absolutely necessary. Most of the time, he doesn't even do what's necessary, like pay bills/keep track of the checkbook, or anything. When DS came, I NEEDED him to start pitching in, even if all he did was hold the baby so I could pee. His first reaction to anyone trying to hold him accountable for anything is to get angry. Then he blames it on anything he can. THen he just forgets about it again, because he doesn't want to deal with it. Now I recognize this thought pattern from my own self, but noone ever let me get away with it, so I learned to work around it, take responsibility for my self. Even though someitmes it means saying, 'I crapped out on this, and I can't fix it now, but I'll do differently next time'. So now, Im preggo again, and the baby's due in four weeks! Agh! Due to his pattern of just skating along and never really making an effort, he lost his job teaching, and has had to take the only job he got offered. It's not that it's a bad job, but it pays less than the old one, and we needed for him to get a raise this year. We are at this moment cashing out retirement plans to pay down credit cards so we can just survive. SO until this new job starts he's been working 55 hours at his 'summer' job, so we can pay the mortgage, etc. That's not really a lot of hours, I've worked longer hours over longer time periods.

His attitude is starting to tank again, and he's being rude and sour. I'm starting to feel like I did after Hen was born and I don't even have the new baby yet! I feel like it's a huge accomplishment for me to be able to take care of MYSELF, let alone myself and a child, now soon to be two children. Is it SO much to ask that he take care of himself? I want to shout at him, and tell him, 'come on you idiot, if I can take care of ME, If I can cope with what I can cope with on a day to day basis, surely YOU can do this little bit?!'

And then I have to listen to the evil little voice in my head that tells me, "Heidi you're so screwed up, you should never have had children, you should never have saddled this man with your crap in the first place, why do you expect him to take care of you?" And then I think, well, maybe I should leave. That way he wouldn't have to take care of anyone but himself.

Sorry, I'm a real mess this morning.

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#143 of 582 Old 09-13-2008, 12:48 PM
 
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Oh Heidi, I am so sorry that I didn't post the other day. I have been thinking of you and praying for you and Matt. That sound so stressful. I'd be living in a cardboard box if my DH were like that. Well, maybe, I did pay bills the year I lived alone.

But can you all see a financial counselor, or is there someone else that Matt would be accountable to--to pay bills, do what you need him to, what he needs to do? Esp. if you're overwhelemed with credit cards. Of course, I suppose any suggestions from you are not taken well. Is there anyone in your church or family aware of the situation and able to tak Matt aside and say "hey, fly right"?

I hate feeling depressed and that reel that plays over and over in your head when you're down.

Mama to 2 year old and :: June 14th!
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#144 of 582 Old 09-13-2008, 03:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey girl,
It's good you didn't respond, because the next day we lost power (the whole street) and my computer will NOT boot up now! : Just one more thing, YK?

Thanks for the suggestions. . .we have been banging our heads against this wall for such a long time, I'm running out of ideas. But since DH doesn't have such a good relationship with his dad, we had been talking to my dad about it. My dad has agreed to call DH and ask him the tough questions, but it's hard for him because he doesn't want to sour their relationship too. Sighhhh.... Suffice it to say, yes, I suggest, and I nag (which I hate- I am not a natural nag) and I remind, and sometimes I cry and yell, but a day or a week later, he 'forgets' again, and he's back to not doing anything. the sad thing really is that he KNOWS what to do, he just 'doesn't get around to it'. The excuses are so classic, that if I wasn't so paranoid about projecting MY problem onto him, I'd easily beleive that he has ADD too. :

Thre bottom line is that he's going to have to decide to do this, and then do it. Noone can do it for him anymore. He's just afraid to grow up.

I do try to escaspe that repeating poisonous message in my head, and I do succeed most of the time. I've had a lot of practice, after all.

Feeling better today, MW says BB has dropped, and other indications are pointing to my body getting ready to do it's thing. It's not really any day now, or anything. I'd give anything to have another month after this, so I could feel more ready, although I did get soem big things done this week. I'm nesting full swing, down to preparing meals for the freezer, so I know it's getting close. I'm probably the only preggo woman ever to wish it was closer to eleven months in length- I really could use the extra time.

computergeek2.gif  wife to bikenew.gif and momma to my intact boys headscratch.gif 06/19/06 and mischievous.gif 10/10/08 We delayed/selective vax; constantly wash.gif  always intactlact.gif

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#145 of 582 Old 09-13-2008, 10:59 PM
 
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Eh, I wanted more time to get her 'room' ready. I didn't know I'd not want to quit co-sleeping after a year. Now i'm like, hmm, 4-5, nah, when she's 14! So 'her' room is still full of stuff(all my half-finished projects).

Yeah, well, that sounds like my type of ADD. I have a really hard time with follow-through.
I can totally get how it's hard for your dad to be the 'bad guy'. Is there a close friend who would be better? Can you set up some sort of system, notes or a list or something he can check, so maybe you can direct him to the list? I love trying to brainstorm ideas like this. I had a prof in college who knew I could do, and I had to meet with her weekly. But I was a little scared of her, so I really worked to get stuff done. Oh and she was definitely more of a mentor/supervisor than a friend.

I wish I lived closer and could help you nest and cook! Are you HBing or birth center or hospital?

Mama to 2 year old and :: June 14th!
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#146 of 582 Old 09-13-2008, 11:07 PM
 
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My aunt has been on medical marijuana for years for ADHD and bi polar. But she actually uses the real stuff for as long as I can remember. Long time. No one in the family has issues anymore with her, we just glad to see her calm these days.
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#147 of 582 Old 09-14-2008, 06:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My aunt has been on medical marijuana for years for ADHD and bi polar. But she actually uses the real stuff for as long as I can remember. Long time. No one in the family has issues anymore with her, we just glad to see her calm these days.
I think my family thinks the same about me most times.


Maggirayne- You're right, I can't be scary enough to him for him to take me seriously. I mean, how can you be scared of someone you enjoy so much? He will just have to DECIDE to do it. bleh, oh well.


On a brighter note, I feel like my world is back in control because my computer is up and running. DH heard from someone at work that the same thing had happened to a whole bunch of people, and they'd called the phone company, and whatever they did fixed the computer! So just as he was about to call, he noticed that the modem was blinking again, and decided to turn it on and see what happened, and viola!

So, there we are. How's everyone else doing?

computergeek2.gif  wife to bikenew.gif and momma to my intact boys headscratch.gif 06/19/06 and mischievous.gif 10/10/08 We delayed/selective vax; constantly wash.gif  always intactlact.gif

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#148 of 582 Old 09-16-2008, 03:56 PM
 
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I am sorry your world is so hard with your husband and your bad self talk. I share some of the same issues *hugs*.

Part of the reason i joined this community is because i really do not have anyone to talk to. Part of the reason for that is because of my own self, bad task management skills and lack of people who are like me around. I dunno, i guess i could right a lot about that one subject if i sat down and analysed it all.

I wanted to ask all you ladies if you have chronic fatigue or any suspected or diagnosed sleep disorders. A specialist diagnosed me with 3 different ones, none of which i am receiving treatment for. There are reasons for that tho, one is that i do not want to take any drugs while nursing or otherwise at this time, the other is that my CPAP (sleep apnea machine) is not calibrated correctly and I keep forgetting to deal with that, the other is that i am far too busy to see a therapist. I have zero babysitters and my baby will not take a bottle yet.

It is hard enough having ADHD combined type, on top of a sleep disorder and always being tired, i am not accomplising all i wish to, or need to being a mother of many.

It really is amazing how in the world i pull it all off. The kids are all pretty well adjusted, but all are disorganised.
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#149 of 582 Old 09-17-2008, 12:22 AM
 
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Aw, Pumpkincat, wow. I wish I could help watch baby while you got the CPAP adjusted. I can't imagine having sleep problems on top of nightnursing and ADD.

I'm praying for you!

Mama to 2 year old and :: June 14th!
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#150 of 582 Old 09-17-2008, 11:02 AM
 
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Aw, Pumpkincat, wow. I wish I could help watch baby while you got the CPAP adjusted. I can't imagine having sleep problems on top of nightnursing and ADD.

I'm praying for you!

Thank you, I need all the help i can get, but rarely do i ever ask for it in my daily life.

I have to work on my son taking a bottle, so at least his dad could care for him while i go somewhere. Also he is cloth diapered and I am not optimistic that anyone would want to deal with that. I do not know one person besides myself who does not use disposables.

It really is amazing how many issues a person can have, how much the social climate around them can teach them how to think.

One of the reasons i do not typically ask for help is because i have an extrememly impatient father who himself has ADHD (untreated) and who drinks as a medication. Much of my childhood and adult years he has down right raged at me for asking for help, belittled me, always made me feel like a burden. I am guessing that it is because he felt overwhelmed. So i guess it is back there in my head that if i ask for help, i am worthless. Sometimes i break out of that and just ask, often the person i am asking cannot help, sometimes they can.

I wish there was someone who could help me clean and organise my house. There is so much to do here. That makes me feel guilty. I remember this one time a very compassionate friend came and helped me. I was SOOOOO embarrassed when she seen the gook behind the faucet. I really almost broke down in tears and she seen that. She gave me a sympathetic look and cleaned it. I moved from that neighbourhood, so we do not talk anymore.

I have been very misunderstood in my life. That really causes my self esteem to plummet. Because i have a sleep disorder and ADHD, I would very often be late for class, fall asleep in class and have all my belongings in disarray. I actually got kicked out of 2 educational programs because they thought i was using drugs or alcohol! I was so upset, what an injustice! An ironic thing about that is that the coordinator of the programs has a son who has ADHD herself! I explained to her what was wrong, she did not listen to me.

I have it in my mind to start looking to see if there are any new, non-drug, programs that can help me. I am not optimistic about that being that our community is rather secluded from any major center. We basically are the major center. I usually have to do all that myself.
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