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Old 11-06-2008, 12:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post
was trying to figure out the best place to talk about this, and I think it goes here.

I'm having a really difficult time trying to figure out how to take care of my own children at once. It's really extremely difficult for me. It's not just about taking care of them, but how to relate to both of them at once. I have a pretty typical one-track AD/hd mind, I can only handle one thing at a time to the exclusion of everything else, so I'm finding handling my 2week old and my 3yo together to be daunting.

I'm on Zoloft for postpartum depression. My mom had been helping me a lot with my 3yo over the past couple of weeks while I heal up and stuff.

I also feel like I have to emotionally ready myself to deal with both boys. The last few times I had my two children alone together, I felt some extreme anxiety. Not just teary, or unsure, but like, my heart was racing, and I really felt like I was freaking out. Meanwhile both of my boys are sitting there looking at me like, and each other, like whats her problem.

I felt like I really needed to get a handle on myself and let my meds really kick in.

Well tonight, I really thought I had a handle on myself. My mom drops my 3yo off today, my husband goes to work. He is off tomorrow. So it's like, to me, I just have to really make it through his one 8 hour shift tonight and then he's around all day tomorrow to help and most of the day friday. Things are good.

I took my kid to mcdonalds to play indoors since it was raining. Nursed the baby while I was there. Took him to the store afterwards to replace a special little car that he'd lost and had been asking about for weeks so he'd have something special to play with when we got home and I was occupied with the baby. Things are ok.

...or so I thought. This is how I know I didn't have quite have the handle on my anxiety that I thought I did.

We get home, my 3yo wants a bath. That's fine. All I have to do is put the baby in the carseat and screw the stopper down in the bathtub so it can be filling up. So I put the baby down...

I fiddle with the stopper. And fiddle. And fiddle. The stupid thing will absolutely NOT screw down. It's old and rusty but Im usually easily able to get it to screw down. I. just. can't. My 3yo is axiously beside me ready for his bath, asking me the same questions over and over again. "U fix it mommy? It's broke? U fix it? U fix it? U fix it?"

Finally I annoyedly tell him to hush..

The baby starts crying. I'm freaking out. I finally stop and go to comfort him.

I calm him down, my 3yo is on my heels everywhere I go cause he wants to take a bath with his new toy.

Eventually I try putting the baby down again. I try to screw the stopper down again. It stilll won't. The 3yo is getting excited. The baby eventually starts screaming again. This time really bad. So I"m getting extremely frustrated with the stopper. It takes me a while to calm the baby down this time. My 3yo is starting to do stuff he knows annoys me to get attention from me, basically in defiance because he wants his bath and I haven't had a chance to get it together for him yet..

I try calling my husband like 3 times with no answer to get him to explain to me if there is something he's done with the stopper or broke it or something and I not know about it. FINALLY i reach him, he's like no, just screw it down.

So finally, I put the baby down one more time. I pull his bucket seat in with me so he can watch us. He sits in it and starts to doze off.

And a novel idea hits me. What if I tried screwing the stopper in the opposite direction? I do this. Quick as a flash, the stopper screws down.

big whopping moment for me. All that time I was screwing the stopper the wrong way and was too busy freaking out to notice. Ugh.

so...I guess my brain hasn't quite calmed itself down being wrapped around the notion of caring for two children as well as I thought it had. only some one with anxiety plus add would understand
I have done almost this exact thing. It was a window fan for me, which I eventually wrenched out of the window by force (and broke), scaring my 2 yo to death. Yeah- momma freaking out can be scary. . .

what caused the anxiety for me was the fact that it was raining in, all over my clothes- which were on the floor instead of in a drawer where they belonged. . . By the time I ripped the fan out, it had stopped raining. :

Have your meds had a chance to kick in yet? the anxiety is the worst, I agree. Did things improve after that? I'm glad you have your dh home today.

nak

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Old 11-06-2008, 12:40 PM
 
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Ohhh, hugs Sonya. Be easy on yourself. This is a time of big adjustment. Your 3 yo is used to having all your attention, so this is new for him. You're not used to having to split your attention, and it's new and sometimes hard for you. Give yourself permission to take a minute and sit back and breathe. You don't have to fix everything. Maybe it could help to have a verse/prayer or saying you read that helps you focus and calm a little.

I was babysitting for a little guy, 3 mos younger than my DD, it would drive me crazy when they would both cry and want to be held, but not at the same time. She would touch him, and he'd push her away, or she'd insist on trying to nurse on the side I was holding him and push at him.

I learned that he would fall asleep even if she were fussing at my feet since he has an older brother, is used to noise, whereas she would wait until nothing was happening to fall asleep.
So one thing, was figuring out simple ways to keep them both happy or calming the one who would calm down quicker and let me 'loose' to attend the other.

If there are any specific instances you need help brainstorming with, let us know. We can think outside the box!

And by the way, Congratulations! Your little guy is so cute!

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Old 11-06-2008, 01:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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maggirayne- how are you? how's pg?

nak

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Old 11-06-2008, 09:55 PM
 
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Thanks so much for the helpful hints!

Is Zoloft supposed to help with anxiety? I'm not sure how long it's supposed to take before it starts to kick in, I've been taking it for a little over a week now.

I know my mom has anxiety issues. I have been grappling over whether I have them as well or not. I always kind of denied that I did, even though there were times where I think I may have had an anxiety attack on rare occassions.

I think yesterday the drama surrounding a simple bathtub stopper is what really drove the point home for me that, yes, I do indeed have anxiety issues. I think they intensify postpartum for me. I think they did last time with my first kid as well, but my memories are fuzzy. I do remember panicing from time to time and asking my husband to come home from work early. I didn't even recall that at all until just recently and feeling the same way with this kid.

My memory is strange around this time. Sleep deprivation really messes me up.
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Old 11-08-2008, 01:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think what many people don't realize is that you don't necessarily have to have anxiety attacks in order to have anxiety issues.

I think add causes anxiety- I mean how can you not be anxious when you're always late, and can't find your keys- YK? And PP causes anxiety physically(for your new babe) and hormonally. Add ADD and PP together, and you have a recipe for depression that's hard to fight. It's like fighting gravity.


I thought Zoloft was for anxiety, but maybe something else would help? Or maybe trying herbs and vitamins would help too? If it's just generalized anxiety from lack of sleep, and being PP, I'd think the Zoloft would help, but IDK really.

to you too, here, at least, you have a place to vent!

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Old 11-09-2008, 10:54 PM
 
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Hi Ladies!

So some things I'd love to hear your input on:

Dh and I had a total comin to Jesus over his ADHD/Anxiety/Depression and he elected to go to counseling and get meds. He has had raving success with Celexa. BUT it's possibly causing some sexual side-effects. There are some other issues we're going thru too, marital issues, that all seem to tie back into his matrix of imbalance and his meds......... Some days he blames stuff on the imbalances, some days on his meds, some days on ME. I know that some of what he deals with when he's cycling can make it difficult to be accountable for his behavior, and some of it has the potential to cause disasterous behavior...

However, I also deal with some of the same issues, and have been accused of copping out when I refer to having a bad day with my ADHD. I'm tired of hearing the litany of excuses for his stuff, and having no lattitude in explaining some of my own "bad days"...... kwim?

I am considering going on AdderallXR. I am in school full time and the classes are getting really difficult to wrap my tired out mother-brain around, and ADHD has been really getting in there and messing me up. (Even now, as I type this, I should be working on two papers that are both due tomorrow!) Ugh!!

I would love to have access to a counselor, but we've not got the insruance for it... Dh's MIL step-mother will pay for him to get counseling, but he only went enough times to get drugs, and doesn't see much value in returning in order to actually process some of the traumas etc he has endured. I (as a future clinician) see little value to drugs alone. He doesn't. Ok, that's his bent - the meds are enough. You can lead a horse to water... But he wants me to get on meds now, and is kinda pushy about it. When I halfway agree, then he says "Well, I don't know if you need them... "

And frankly, if I find a means to be re-assessed and prescribed meds myself, I would feel awkward not combining it with therapy...

Thoughts?

Anyone seeing a therapist/on meds, just on meds, just seeing a therapist, or none of these and just coping? (Like me... only probably better than me! )
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Old 11-09-2008, 11:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, those are some tough things.

Here's my 2 cts. When we are faced with change, we tend to run through a cycle just like when we're greiving. We move through denial, anger, blame, sadness and if we're lucky, we come to terms with it, we accept it and make it work for us.

At least that's what I have dealt with when I got diagnosed. I think I've acceopted it for the most part, but sometimes I **** blame, get angry, etc. Most of the time I can laugh at myself and capitolise on my strengths.
My DH is moving through the same things right now, as he comes to termswith the fact that he's basically screwed around his whole life, waiting for others to take care of him. Well, I can't anymore, at least not and be a good mom and a decent housekeeper. so he's having to face what needs to be done, but also what that means about WHO he is.

If any of that makes sense, it's a miracle, but what I'm trying to say is, your DH has to work through these things, and hiopefully he'll come out the other side a happier person. YOUR struggle about whether to medicate ot=r not has to be your own decision, and separate from your DH's issues right now.

For me, if I was on Meds, I'd want counseling too, and since meds have side effects I can't accept right now, and I don't have time to counsel, I'll stick with my herbs and vitamins!

I hope that was helpful in some small way!

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Old 11-10-2008, 12:03 AM
 
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It was helpful. My friend (a 12-stepper) sometimes tells me to look first at myself and the rest will follow (I think she said it's step 12). Meaning, look not at what you don't like about how other people behave but rather to your reactions and your part and how you can change that.

So someone else told me recently to try Vitamin B to ease some of the issues I have.... citing research wherein mental patients had been given Vitamin B doses and found to be "cured". She swears by it.

Other than Vit B, what other herbs and vits would you recommend looking into?
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Old 11-10-2008, 12:09 AM
 
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Other than Vit B, what other herbs and vits would you recommend looking into?
First, if you're nursing, talk to your doctor or someone you trust and is knowledgeable about bf and vitamins/herbs before you start anything.

I'll tell you what I'm taking, though, so you can do the research and decide.

Prenatal
B-50
Cal/Mag
Ginko Biloba
Valerian
Fish Oil
Iron

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Old 11-10-2008, 12:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm doing a B-50 complex, Valerian, omega three supplement (it's a fishy one too), and a multivitamin.

When the PPd got bad with DS1- I tried some SAM-e and it helped during the day, but it made the fantastic thinking during night nursing sessions worse. I stopped taking it as soon as I thought I was over the hump, as it were. . .

One thing that also helps me is staying away from bread and potatos and sugar, they make me wakko anyway, and it doesn't help to add that to my already baseline wakkoness! Also- excercise- for the endorphins.


Oh- and caffeine. I consider that medicine.

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Old 11-10-2008, 03:44 PM
 
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I'm doing a B-50 complex, Valerian, omega three supplement (it's a fishy one too), and a multivitamin.

When the PPd got bad with DS1- I tried some SAM-e and it helped during the day, but it made the fantastic thinking during night nursing sessions worse. I stopped taking it as soon as I thought I was over the hump, as it were. . .

One thing that also helps me is staying away from bread and potatos and sugar, they make me wakko anyway, and it doesn't help to add that to my already baseline wakkoness! Also- excercise- for the endorphins.


Oh- and caffeine. I consider that medicine.
Hey! Nothing wrong with a little caffeine. I swear it helps me focus. I only have one cup of coffee in the morning and for a few days I cut out all caffeine because I know that it can negatively impact anxiety. I turned into a bloody mess because I didn't realize how much it focused me. I was becoming even more anxious without the caffeine to sharpen my thinking. I'm taking a prenatal (still nursing), fish oil, and cal/mag. Rescue Remedy to take the edge off or Sweet Chesnut when I'm completely out of my mind and there you go.

sigh:: I guess you just have to strike a balance, YK?
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Old 11-10-2008, 06:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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tell me more about the sweet chestnut?


Oh, sometimes I take Calms Forte', too.


Yeha that about striking a balance- let me know when you've figured out how! :

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Old 11-10-2008, 09:52 PM
 
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tell me more about the sweet chestnut?


Oh, sometimes I take Calms Forte', too.


Yeha that about striking a balance- let me know when you've figured out how! :
Well the bottle says:

Oh for the love of god. I just got up to get the bottle and its not where I thought I put it. I'll be back.
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Old 11-10-2008, 10:09 PM
 
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Oh for the love of god. I just got up to get the bottle and its not where I thought I put it. I'll be back.


That was hilarious. I almost peed myself.

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Old 11-10-2008, 10:28 PM
 
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That was hilarious. I almost peed myself.

:
Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.
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Old 11-11-2008, 06:54 AM
 
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Oh- and caffeine. I consider that medicine.
I am a full-blown caffeine addict... at least 2 cups a day, often 4 or more shots of espresso. It's a total leveller for me. Speed used to level me out back in the young party days, too... doc says it's very common for people with ADHD to have a-typical reactions to things that speed "normals" up. :

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Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.
: You ladies are really funny! I love this thread, I feel so normal whenever I come over here!
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Old 11-11-2008, 12:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.






oh. man! :

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Old 11-12-2008, 03:57 PM
 
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maggirayne- how are you? how's pg?
I hate morning sickness. I'm not telling my mom until Christmas, but she suspects. At least she's quit asking. We were gone for a long weekend, DH got a deer, so fresh sirloin for lunch : when I get off my duff and lay DD down.

We've all three had a nasty cough.

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Hi Ladies!

So some things I'd love to hear your input on:

Dh and I had a total comin to Jesus over his ADHD/Anxiety/Depression and he elected to go to counseling and get meds. He has had raving success with Celexa. BUT it's possibly causing some sexual side-effects. There are some other issues we're going thru too, marital issues, that all seem to tie back into his matrix of imbalance and his meds......... Some days he blames stuff on the imbalances, some days on his meds, some days on ME. I know that some of what he deals with when he's cycling can make it difficult to be accountable for his behavior, and some of it has the potential to cause disasterous behavior...

However, I also deal with some of the same issues, and have been accused of copping out when I refer to having a bad day with my ADHD. I'm tired of hearing the litany of excuses for his stuff, and having no lattitude in explaining some of my own "bad days"...... kwim?

I am considering going on AdderallXR. I am in school full time and the classes are getting really difficult to wrap my tired out mother-brain around, and ADHD has been really getting in there and messing me up. (Even now, as I type this, I should be working on two papers that are both due tomorrow!) Ugh!!

I would love to have access to a counselor, but we've not got the insruance for it... Dh's MIL step-mother will pay for him to get counseling, but he only went enough times to get drugs, and doesn't see much value in returning in order to actually process some of the traumas etc he has endured. I (as a future clinician) see little value to drugs alone. He doesn't. Ok, that's his bent - the meds are enough. You can lead a horse to water... But he wants me to get on meds now, and is kinda pushy about it. When I halfway agree, then he says "Well, I don't know if you need them... "

And frankly, if I find a means to be re-assessed and prescribed meds myself, I would feel awkward not combining it with therapy...

Thoughts?

Anyone seeing a therapist/on meds, just on meds, just seeing a therapist, or none of these and just coping? (Like me... only probably better than me! )
See if you can get a counselor thru a grad program that needs hours for like an internship or something. They wouldn't have a lot of experience, but better than nothing, possibly. Or call local counseling places and see if they have a sliding fee scale. It sounds like you both would benefit from boundary-setting/marriage/relationship counseling, perhaps.

ITA not taking meds unless in counseling concurrently.

I take a prenatal and Fish oil. :P We got a better one that doesn't make me burp. So I don't really treat my ADD.

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Well the bottle says:

Oh for the love of god. I just got up to get the bottle and its not where I thought I put it. I'll be back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by honeydee View Post
Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.
I am cracking up, you sound just like me! :

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Old 11-12-2008, 05:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Maggirayne- You know if you freeze venison, it travels pretty well through the mail. . . . . : :


I hope all of you feel better soon!

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Old 11-12-2008, 06:04 PM
 
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Aww, did I make you hungry? Elisabeth loves the vension.

Too bad you're not down in KY, my dad says this year you can shoot as many does as you want. drop They don't have a freezer, so I don't know what they'll do if he gets one.

Does your DH hunt? How's the job stuff going?

I fried some of the sirloin up for lunch, it was good. It's tastes stronger than usual, but that's me. I'll be so glad when things taste normal. I don't recall this happening with last pg, but then it was funny-tasting when we ate Chinese.

Hey, I just noticed, you've been an MDCer for a year! :

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Old 11-12-2008, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hey that's right!!! How about that!

No, DH doesn't hunt, you have no idea how funny that idea is. I'd be the hunter, but you'd find me frozen solid to the log I was sitting on, because I'd get distracted, and freeze to death!

My dad and my mom and my grandmother, and my aunt all hunt. well, it's mostly my aunt anymore. We'd spend a week each winter up in Sullivan county PA in a trailor in the woods, and they'd all go hunting!



For some reason when I was PG the first time, baking chicken was enough to send me out of the house, literally. I still don't khnow why!

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Old 11-12-2008, 07:34 PM
 
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It's differnt hunting out east than it is here. Here on the plains you walk and peek over hills. Back east, yeah, you sit in the tree stand or on a log. My dad built a deer hut that he could move with the tractor. The neighbors called it Billy's outhouse. It was a little bigger, but the outline was just like an outhouse.

Yeah, raw meat and eggs ick me out. I did make very good gravy today. DH () cut the meat up and floured it and started it frying. It did smell good. The foods I ate last time are really gross to me too now. I still can't stand candied ginger.

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Old 11-13-2008, 01:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The trailor in Sullivan county had an outhouse too!



Can I just say that in the last three days I have had a thought, and immediately lost it, about 57 times? I mean, 'oh, Hon, guess what?- crap, now I can't remember.' And I stand there with my mouth hanging open because I can't beleive I lost it that fast. :

AND- Int the course of conversations over the past weeks, I KNOW I have been listening to someone talk, and think an answer but don't say it! Leaving me looking I'm sure like I either A. wasn't listening, or B. don't care. BLEH!!!


I want my brain back!

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Old 11-13-2008, 04:11 PM
 
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Yick. It's pouring in my part of the country, and I CAN.NOT.FOCUS.

I'm just done today. Period. Maybe when it gets dark, I'll be better. Anyone find they work better in the dark and are USELESS when it's light out?

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Old 11-13-2008, 06:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hmmph. this 'day' has been darker than it was light! Bleh.


Yeah, I'm pretty much done. It's nearly 4 oclock, and my older ds has yet to go down for a nap. What does that say about my day?


If I had time/space, and no 2 yo's I'd have lit a million candles today. It would have been so cheerful.

Maybe I can get DH to include a candle budget due to mental health concerns?

Smee.

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Old 11-13-2008, 08:37 PM
 
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Aww, I wish you all could hang out with me. It was sunny here today. A lot of our snow melted. Hey, are you two close to each other at all? Sme, are you in PA? Hanging out in Lancaster?

Ugh, he's one of those kids who needs a nap? Elisabeth has been taking a nap between 11-12 and then at like 6 pm. I don't know what's up, unless she's having a growth spurt, which she is 18 mos, soooo.

I used to be such a night owl. But now I'm no good after 10 pm. I stayed up trying to research Mamajackets. I want one, I think. I would love a snazzy, sharp-looking red wool coat. Heh, between babies and nursing? Who am I kidding? When would I wear it?

Sooo, I'm drooling over a Mamajacket and trying to get DH to go in w/ILs and combine my birthday and Christmas. They are terribly expensive. . .considering the wool coat I typically wear, which is a large and works over a baby, but not a toddler, I got at a thrift store three years ago for, oh, 2-3 bucks, yeah, I'm pretty frugal.

I need to run a load of diapers or I'm going to be in trouble. Well, not too much, I do have fitteds, but I don't use them as much as the prefolds in the Fuzzibunz. I put her in fleece pants over them, which works.

I did unload and load the dishwasher. And even washed the dishes that didn't fit/go in. And I made adult macaroni and cheese. It's from my 29 minute Pampered Chef book and is one of my favourite recipes. DH likes it too. And Elisabeth loves it. It's been a while since I made it.

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Old 11-13-2008, 11:21 PM
 
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Yup, I'm in Lancaster, PA. The rain has turned into a foggy mist.

I was more productive today than I thought. Ate my way through a Sisterhood banquet at the synagogue (mmm.... roast beef ) and now I'm going to plan my weekend lesson plans, I think.

Maggi, sounds like you did a LOT today! Wow!

I'm going to make myself a Mamaponcho, but sewn. Eventually. When I get to it. :

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subbing. I think i have bipolar but I want to read further bc so man of these symptoms are me!
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Old 11-14-2008, 02:51 AM
 
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Hi transformed, heh, join the club, we have lots of fun here!
Just a short description:
: : : : : : : :

We'll help you brainstorm , and try to stay on track and commiserate when you don't , or listen sympathetically when you lose your keys (for the 500th time) and so forth and so on.

And we'll be excited when you get 1, 2 or *gasp* 3 things done in a day.

I hope you all don't mind, I like poking fun at myself.
Yeah, for me, I did get a lot done.

Okay, I know I'm a nut. I tell you, these evenings when DH is gone get looong! I should be writing for NaNo. Yeah right.

Mama to 2 year old and :: June 14th!
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Old 11-14-2008, 02:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by socialworkmamma View Post
Yeah, I'm totally here. Classic tale of people-pleasing girl with ADD who learned to cope, sort of. Since I was not running around, teachers would never think there was a problem, I just daydreamed a lot. Thankfully,(I guess), smart enough to compensate. Also I had older, AP parents who loved and accepted me as is, and then a great supportive DH who does the same. I've never been medicated and at this point in time don't think I ever will be. I'm a clinical social worker and have been given several scales, which all say I have ADD. I think the part that bugs me the most is feeling such a disconnect from other women. It's hard for me to maintain friendships, I just don't really have the ability to organize my time to allow for working part-time and being the kind of Mom I am and then adding female friendship into the mix. I also think part of it is the part of the country I live in seems to have female friendship revolve around activities I don't think of as ADD friendly, if that makes sense. I tried to scrapbook, and would still like to, but by the time I would find what I wanted, my time for it was past. Also I would hyperfocus on something, time would pass and nothing would be done. I also think lots of women are not real cool with coming to a house where there is laundry on the couch and lots of unfinished projects. Then again maybe it's my own "shame" issue with feeling like I don't measure up in the "womanly" arts of housekeeping, etc. None of this is stuff my DH puts on me, it's how I feel about myself. Being a mother has been very healing for me on many levels. I feel like I'm a really, sensitive, loving and nurturing mother, so therfore I must be a "good woman".
Yeah, this tended to ramble, imagine that, but would love to hear from other's on how the condition impacts their self-esteem in today's society with all the expectations of looking great, being organized, a perfect mother, lots of friends, a hot lover, and on and on.
Tyou for writing my post for me Gosh knows I might see some shiny piece of metal and get disctracted. Back to finish reading the thread, which I had know idea was here, and yeah, having ADD can make a girl feel lonely. I feel like a space case most of the time.
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