Does it make anyone else mad to see these 6 yr old girls in beauty pageants wearing swimsuits - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 71 Old 01-24-2008, 09:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, I was up last night with my sick dd and was channel surfing and was watching a show on little beauty queens. The kids started at like age 3 or 4. I think it is wrong of the parents in general to do this to their kids, especially when half the kids on the show say they don't want to be there, and want to go home. They had a lady spraying a tan on her 6 yr old daugher, and said its great for the swimsuit competition. They also had fake teeth for the girls when they start to lose theirs. I turned it off when it got to the swimsuit competition. Why on earth would they have a competition for 6 yrs olds? 6 yr olds should not be worrying about what they look like in a bikini. And the only people I can think of who would want to watch it are pedaphiles. I just want to slap the parents, just because they could never be a beauty queen doesn't mean they need to make their child be one. I would never put my 6 yr old in a bikini and have her do the runway walk in public or on television. Are these parents going to be shocked when their daughter gets raped or kidnapped by age 12? Ahhhhhh, it made me so mad I went to bed angry........does anyone else think this is wrong. If the child really really wants to be in these pageants it is one thing, but it looks a lot like the parents are the ones pushing it.
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#2 of 71 Old 01-24-2008, 09:20 PM
 
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I'm not a fan of any type of pageantry/modelling for young children.

I know not all "stage moms" are necessarily this way, but I used to have neighbors who had a 4yo daughter with scoliosis who was supposed to wear a brace for 23 hours a day (only taking it off to bathe). Her mother would constantly shuttle her to cattle calls for modelling jobs, and when the girl would land a job she'd be out of her brace for up to 6 hours at a time during the shoot. The mom never expressed distress about this fact -- you could just see the dollar signs in her eyes when she'd tell us about her daughter's new gig.

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#3 of 71 Old 01-24-2008, 11:06 PM
 
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Yep, irritates me to NO end...I just dont get it.

single mommy to identical twin girls (3/06) Non-traditional mama just : through life.
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#4 of 71 Old 01-24-2008, 11:22 PM
 
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I SO don't get kiddo beauty pageants, anyway (although scholarships and such are a good thing!), but putting little girls in swimsuits and having them parade around? Craziness!

Maybe we need more "Little Miss Sunshine"'s out there!
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#5 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 01:23 AM
 
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Those child pageants simultaneously fascinate and sicken me. I can not understand why a person would exploit their own children and set them on a path of narcissism, inadequacy and such deep unhappiness. And at the same time I am truly fascinated by them. The way they operate in the world is so far removed from how I choose to live and raise my family I wonder about how the stage moms got to that place in their lives.

But a swim suit competition!?!? That's going too far!
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#6 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 02:05 AM
 
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The whole thing grosses me out.
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#7 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 05:49 AM
 
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I saw a show about one of these pageants a couple of months ago, I sat there horrified and fascinated at the same time. I felt a lot of disgust at the parents for allowing their children to be portrayed as sexual objects. It's not something which I can understand.

The same show was on a couple of nights later, Ste came into the room and I told him to watch for a couple of minutes. He sat and watched and then went absolutely nuts about the show. He was even more disgusted than I was.

No, we cannot comprehend it.

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#8 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 06:37 AM
 
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I dont understant parent exploiting their innocent and fragile children like that.
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#9 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 09:58 AM
 
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My little girl wants so bad to be in beauty pageants. (And in commercials. And on tv.) Luckily, her Mother can't transport her all over the country for beauty pageants and even if my Hubby and I were able to, we would not be willing to, because of the swim suit issues and because of the whole "you have to have your hair done perfect, you have to have your makeup done perfect, you have to dress like a little... woman" attitude about beauty pageants. Why would anyone want to teach their little girl that the prettier you are, the more you "win"? Why would anyone even care hoe a CHILD looks in a swimsuit, for that matter? My little girl has some really cute suit suits, but no way would I dress her in it and parade her around in front of God knows how many strangers and possible pedifiles! :Puke

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#10 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 10:09 AM
 
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Harley, maybe community theater kinds of things would be a better option for your little one, if she really wants to....

I think these pageants are so disgusting. Come on... how many women put their hair in curlers every day and spray it with three pounds of hair spray and cake on the make up until their face cracks? It's hardly what being a woman is about. : And the swimsuit competition... don't even get me started. Apparently no one learned anything from poor little JonBenet.
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#11 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 10:25 AM
 
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Harley, maybe community theater kinds of things would be a better option for your little one, if she really wants to...
We're currently looking into it.

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Apparently no one learned anything from poor little JonBenet.
My first thought on reading this thread.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#12 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 12:23 PM
 
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Be aware that community theater is a HUGE time commitment. And no, the kids don't get cut any slack on the hours.
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#13 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 01:08 PM
 
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This kind of thing makes me sick. And I have an insider's view.

I stupidly entered my DD in three little community beauty pageants when she was a tiny baby. I did pageants when I was little (small, fun pageants in our hometown), and I just thought it would be something fun for she & I to do together. The first two we did were sweet and fun, everyone won something, very non-competitive, etc.

The third one we did was called a Candyland pageant, and I had been told that it was a very natural, relaxed pageant. We got there, and it was like something you'd see on one of those documentaries. There were girls there with SUITCASES full of makeup and hair products and $2,000 dresses. Two of the girls in my DD's age division (0-2) were wearing hair extensions! Against my better judgment, I decided to stay since we had already paid a $60 entry fee. My DD won her division wearing a $15 Wal-Mart dress, no makeup, no hair accessories or anything. Those mamas were ready to throw me down, I could see it in their eyes.

Anyway, when we got up on stage for the "overall" competition (DD was "nominated" for overall best smile), there was a mama & her 2-year-old next to us on stage, and she was whispering to her DD in a very mean voice, "Shake your butt, Haley! Shake your booty RIGHT NOW." I wanted to RUN from that stage.

I have never even considered doing another pageant since that day, and I am horrified that I ever thought it was okay to do them in the first place. *shudder*
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#14 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 01:16 PM
 
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Anyway, when we got up on stage for the "overall" competition (DD was "nominated" for overall best smile), there was a mama & her 2-year-old next to us on stage, and she was whispering to her DD in a very mean voice, "Shake your butt, Haley! Shake your booty RIGHT NOW." I wanted to RUN from that stage.

I have never even considered doing another pageant since that day, and I am horrified that I ever thought it was okay to do them in the first place. *shudder*
I am so disgusted with that mom.... how could she say that to her sweet baby girl??????
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#15 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 01:25 PM
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Are these parents going to be shocked when their daughter gets raped or kidnapped by age 12?
I agree with everything you wrote in the OP, except the above statement.

Kidnapped, perhaps, since they're being paraded in front of strangers. And I guess that perhaps rape sometimes is part and parcel of kidnapping..... but this whole thing is a stretch.

And as far as rape on its own? I strongly doubt that being in a beauty pageant makes you any more or less likely to be a survivor of rape than the 1 out of 3 women that are sexually assualted over the course of their lifetime anyway.

I don't care for the cause and effect tone of the above statement, as if anything that the parents or the child does is somehow at fault for a rape that may occur in the future. That's like saying that girls who wear short skirts are asking for it.

JMPOV.
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#16 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 03:04 PM
 
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I have a theory about why people are disturbed by seeing little girls wearing makeup. Sometime ago, I read that the whole effect of facial makeup on a woman is to mimic the appearance of a woman having an orgasm: flushed face and blood-swollen lips, dilated eyes. This "look" on any Cosmo magazine cover is what western society has grown to value as beauty. It seemed to corroborate what I know, separately about ,makeup and sex.

My theory is that the connotations of this "look" is ingrained in everyone. So when 98% of people see a small girl painted in this manner, it inherently feels wrong and is mentally disturbing to acknowledge. So this is why I don't admire child beauty pageants.

Anyone with knowledge of feminist theory chime in? (I could extend my theory onto why bikinis on little girls is wrong too. Bikinis are supposed to show off big boobs and wide hips -- coming of age hallmarks of birthing ability and fertility.)
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#17 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 04:05 PM
 
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Be aware that community theater is a HUGE time commitment. And no, the kids don't get cut any slack on the hours.
Oh. Not good. My stepdaughter is only with us 30% of the time and we couldn't count on her Mother supporting her in an extra curricular activity the rest of the time. I'll still look into it, but I guess I shouldn't let her get her hopes up too much.

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Anyway, when we got up on stage for the "overall" competition (DD was "nominated" for overall best smile), there was a mama & her 2-year-old next to us on stage, and she was whispering to her DD in a very mean voice, "Shake your butt, Haley! Shake your booty RIGHT NOW." I wanted to RUN from that stage.
I think I'm gonna be sick. :Puke

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#18 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 04:14 PM
 
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Living Dolls: Part One

Living Dolls: Part Two

Living Dolls: Part Three

Living Dolls: Part Four

Living Dolls: Part Five

Living Dolls: Part Six

Living Dolls: Part Seven

Living Dolls: Part Eight

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#19 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 04:30 PM
 
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I saw that HBO documentary a couple of years ago. Very sad Unfortunately, it was the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread. . .it's stuck with me that long.

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#20 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 07:18 PM
 
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Some of the men in the documentary posted were really creeping me out. Like the father and the guy who was singing to the girls. The mothers were just plain scary, they all looked like they were living out their dreams through their kids. I say this as nicely as I can, but none of them look like they would ever be up on that podium (and hey, I'm pretty dowdy myself, but I'm not pageanting).

And lastly, good gravy, does that documentary ever take me back, it felt like being at a dog show again, except in many cases, we were a lot nicer to the dogs. If we had a tired puppy, we would not yell at it to wake up, we'd let the dog sleep unless they were actually in the ring-which only usually lasts for a few minutes, unless you have an exceptional dog.

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#21 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 07:55 PM
 
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Some of the men in the documentary posted were really creeping me out. Like the father and the guy who was singing to the girls.
It's been a while since I saw that documentary (and I don't have time to click on the links just now) -- is it the one where the moms coach their daughters to "flirt" with the singing guy when he leans down toward them?

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#22 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 08:28 PM
 
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Be aware that community theater is a HUGE time commitment. And no, the kids don't get cut any slack on the hours.
It totally depends on the production, the part, the director, and the particular theater community. It can be a huge commitment, but there are usually many opportunities for smaller parts, or smaller shows with shorter runs. Even as an adult theater professional, I've taken part in productions that had two or three rehearsals, and one or two performances. I've also acted in many, many shows with children, and the vast majority of the directors were very considerate of the time factor where children were concerned.

You might also check out some theater or storytelling classes (sometimes you can find one session workshops, too). If you live near a university with a film school or telecom department, the students there are often in need of actors to make short films/commercials for their classes.

On the subject of beauty pageants, I think it's a convention from the past that has yet to die. Talent contests would be okay, and even contests concerning poise and dressing nicely. Anything else offends me at best, and usually disgusts me. Sometimes I'm glad that I won't have to deal with *this* particular issue.

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#23 of 71 Old 01-25-2008, 09:39 PM
 
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It's been a while since I saw that documentary (and I don't have time to click on the links just now) -- is it the one where the moms coach their daughters to "flirt" with the singing guy when he leans down toward them?
It wasn't the mom, it was the partner of the father of one of the little girls, who is also a "coach". Still, creepy, the kid is all of 8 if she's a day.

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#24 of 71 Old 01-26-2008, 01:29 AM
 
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Maybe we need more "Little Miss Sunshine"'s out there!
That was my first thought, too. When we saw "Little Miss Sunshine", dh commented that he couldn't understand why parents who wanted to dress their kids up like that and parade them around in swimsuits would be bothered by a girl dancing a burlesque, yk?

I have trouble with beauty pageants, in general - the ones with little girls make me sick to my stomach.

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#25 of 71 Old 01-26-2008, 03:37 AM
 
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Wow.


That documentary was so sad! So sad. I cant believe someone would do that to their child.

I was also thinking of Little Miss Sunshine as I watched it!
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#26 of 71 Old 01-26-2008, 03:54 AM
 
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I also find these pageants (all ages really, but especially the kids' ones) to be very disturbing. Eeew!!

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#27 of 71 Old 01-26-2008, 04:08 AM
 
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I've only watched the first link, I'm thinking I should stop now. I don't think I can handle it. What a mean mom.
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#28 of 71 Old 01-26-2008, 06:52 AM
 
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This kind of thing makes me sick. And I have an insider's view.

I stupidly entered my DD in three little community beauty pageants when she was a tiny baby. I did pageants when I was little (small, fun pageants in our hometown), and I just thought it would be something fun for she & I to do together. The first two we did were sweet and fun, everyone won something, very non-competitive, etc.

The third one we did was called a Candyland pageant, and I had been told that it was a very natural, relaxed pageant. We got there, and it was like something you'd see on one of those documentaries. There were girls there with SUITCASES full of makeup and hair products and $2,000 dresses. Two of the girls in my DD's age division (0-2) were wearing hair extensions! Against my better judgment, I decided to stay since we had already paid a $60 entry fee. My DD won her division wearing a $15 Wal-Mart dress, no makeup, no hair accessories or anything. Those mamas were ready to throw me down, I could see it in their eyes.

Anyway, when we got up on stage for the "overall" competition (DD was "nominated" for overall best smile), there was a mama & her 2-year-old next to us on stage, and she was whispering to her DD in a very mean voice, "Shake your butt, Haley! Shake your booty RIGHT NOW." I wanted to RUN from that stage.

I have never even considered doing another pageant since that day, and I am horrified that I ever thought it was okay to do them in the first place. *shudder*
Good grief... that's so disturbing : Telling a 2 yr old child to shake her butt.
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#29 of 71 Old 01-26-2008, 01:51 PM
 
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That was my first thought, too. When we saw "Little Miss Sunshine", dh commented that he couldn't understand why parents who wanted to dress their kids up like that and parade them around in swimsuits would be bothered by a girl dancing a burlesque, yk?
Exactly. I happened upon an episode of that Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie reality show last year, and they were at a camp, teaching a bunch of little beauty pageant contestants random stuff. Well, Nicole taught them how to flip the bird, and of course their mothers were horrified. I thought it was inappropriate too, but Nicole's comeback was kind of awesome -- she said something like, "Oh, sorry -- I thought that since you treat them like little grown-ups, you wouldn't mind..." in this ditzy yet somehow wise way. It totally reminded me of the whole Little Miss Sunshine concept.

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#30 of 71 Old 01-26-2008, 09:02 PM
 
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"Oh, sorry -- I thought that since you treat them like little grown-ups, you wouldn't mind..."
Sometimes Nicole Richie rocks.

I am not a pagent person. I did a few when I was young (like, 8, 9, 10) and if you watch the tapes you can clearly see I had no idea what was going on. I just kind of wandered around the stage in my flouncy dress, waving to people I knew. Occasionall talking to myself. Perhaps picking something from my teeth... I did not win.

My mom and her sister were both pagent queens, but they were competitive in high school and ended up in the state pagents. Naturally, they thought that it would be fun to put their kids in pagents. My mom quickly discovered that you can lead a little girl to mascara, but you can not make her give a damn. My cousin really took to it. She's won tons. I am still not a fan. She's in her mid-20s and still trying to win one last title.

There are really two kinds of pagents. There are your local festival types - and I can KIND OF see how people get sucked in: you get to put on makeup, wear a pretty dress, and if you win, your dad drives you in a convertable in the parade. Maybe you go to other parades and festivals. I still thinking lining up a bunch of girls and picking the prettiest is just flat WEIRD, but I can sort of get those. It's your community, everyone else is doing it, you probably dit it yourself, blah blah blah. If you win, you get to do stuff. Not for me, but I can kind of see it.

The others are the creepy ones held in hotels. They have made up names like Little Miss Princess Sweetheart Darling Southeast General Regional Junior Queen. Or whatever. Those are the ones with hair extentions, fake teeth, booty shaking, and swim suits. They have umpteen jillion categories because you have to pay to enter each one. They are just money makers, an industry unto themselves, they lead nowhere and represent nothing. Well, nothing good.

I just don't get it. The very idea of dressing my child up for someone else's approval and hoping she'll be prettier than ten other little girls is just...ugh. It turns my stomach.
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