Frequent crying at preschool... months into the school year - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-26-2008, 02:49 AM - Thread Starter
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My 4+ DS seems to have taken up crying at preschool after months of doing fine there (had to adjust for 1-2 weeks at start) and having gone to family daycare since 7 mos. No changes here at home and as far as we know no changes at school. He is a sensitive kid - we think he's a little tentative and sensitive to change. But as far as we know there have not been many changes.

Seems like post 2 weeks off @ xmas he's had a tough time re-adjusting.

I guess what I'm particularly interested in hearing about is those who'd had this sudden onset when things were fine. That it started all of a sudden maybe doesn't matter - after all no matter what it's some kind of anxiety.

I've read about and plan to introduce a couple things in particular that seem worth trying:

a) some kind of memento he can keep in his pocket to remind of us and maybe later just store in his cubby

b) some kind of star points system where after he's acquired enough stars for no- or low-crying days he gets a reward that's important to him.

Very much appreciate any ideas...
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#2 of 4 Old 01-26-2008, 01:26 PM
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is he crying just a dropoff? or is it all day? what do the teachers say? is it at certain times? is there a way you could observe what is happening without him seeing you so you can get some idea why this is happening.

I know my DD is having some dropoff anxiety she wasn't having before. But once she is there and transitioned in, she is fine.

I would not do the points/star system. I think that would send a wrong message that he should "stuff" his feelings instead of finding a way to deal with them effectively.

What does your son say? Have you asked him if there is another teacher/child who is causing him distress? Maybe his needs have changed and this isn't the right environment for him anymore?

good luck!
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#3 of 4 Old 01-26-2008, 01:41 PM
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One thing that really helped my sensitive 3 year old to adjust was a family "photo poster" that we hung in her cubby low down where she could go look at it whenever she needed to. It has pics of me and DH and her sibs and grandparents and our cats. Knowing she could go and look at it really helped, and it made her feel special since all the other kids wanted to come look to and wanted one for themselves. Plus, it helped her teachers to see that we really cared a lot about making her feel comfortable, and gave them something that they could talk to DD about when DD was upset. Getting her to tell stories about her family helped her to feel more settled in and understood.

I agree that maybe the star system might just encourage him to bury his feelings, while not really solving the root of the trouble. I would probably do a little investigating about what time of day it is that is the most trouble for him, and do some poking around to make sure there's nothing solvable that's bothering him, before resorting to something like that.

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#4 of 4 Old 01-26-2008, 08:23 PM
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there's a very sweet book called "the Kissing hand" about a baby raccoon who goes off to school & his mama kisses his hand so he has a kiss with him when he needs it. it's very cute & dd still asks for a kiss on her hand once in a while.
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