Help me convice DH that buying DS a toy kitchen is not "gay" - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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#151 of 160 Old 02-15-2008, 01:50 AM
 
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Originally Posted by RadUnschooler View Post
Is seems like a very controlling thing too say: If you don't accept my lifestyle,i deem you unworthy to have kids.
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I do agree with that. I am not saying that's my opinion towards being homosexual at all. I am saying that you can't change people and to say they shouldn't be parents for their opinions isn't right. To say that sounds like you want to "control" them.
sorry,i didn't mean to say "lifestyle" for lack of a better word.
Okay.... then is it okay for someone to have children who will hate them if they're a girl? What about someone who will ridicule them if they need glasses? Or how about if they will see them as lesser if they don't have blue eyes and blond hair?

-Angela
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#152 of 160 Old 02-15-2008, 01:53 AM
 
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I do agree with that. I am not saying that's my opinion towards being homosexual at all. I am saying that you can't change people and to say they shouldn't be parents for their opinions isn't right. To say that sounds like you want to "control" them.
sorry,i didn't mean to say "lifestyle" for lack of a better word.
I don't think it's about their opinions at all. We're all entitled to opinions and beliefs and preferences and hopes and dreams for our children. The difference is, if your child is different from what you might have hoped for, or if your child makes different choices from the ones you might have wanted him/her to make, would that cause you not to accept your child? Opinions are one thing, making parental love conditional upon certain things is quite different.
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#153 of 160 Old 02-15-2008, 02:11 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
I don't think it's about their opinions at all. We're all entitled to opinions and beliefs and preferences and hopes and dreams for our children. The difference is, if your child is different from what you might have hoped for, or if your child makes different choices from the ones you might have wanted him/her to make, would that cause you not to accept your child? Opinions are one thing, making parental love conditional upon certain things is quite different.
I just answered that. I really wasn't talking about me, my opinions at all . Please don't attack me, I accept everyone (except criminals). I know parents who might not have the greatest views and acceptance of stuff but they are still good parents and i wouldn't tell them they shouldn't have had kids because of it....that's all.
I don't agree with the people who have closed-minds at all...please, don't think of me like that.
I know i'm new here and you all don't know me that good.
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#154 of 160 Old 02-15-2008, 02:14 AM
 
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I just answered that. I really wasn't talking about me, my opinions at all . Please don't attack me, I accept everyone (except criminals). I know parents who might not have the greatest views and acceptance of stuff but they are still good parents and i wouldn't tell them they shouldn't have had kids because of it....that's all.
I don't agree with the people who have closed-minds at all...please, don't think of me like that.
I know i'm new here and you all don't know that good.
I'm not attacking you. I know that you aren't advocating non-acceptance of one's children. I don't think non-acceptance of one's children is an "opinion," though. I think it's emotional abuse. And, yes, I think people who abuse children, be it physically, emotionally, or any other way, should refrain from becoming parents.
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#155 of 160 Old 02-15-2008, 02:28 AM
 
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I do see your point.
My parents should never have had me (because of the emotional abuse) but then i wouldn't be a mommy doing it different,unconditional love,respect,trust,etc.. for my son.
ouch.
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#156 of 160 Old 02-15-2008, 02:32 AM
 
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I do see your point.
My parents should never have had me (because of the emotional abuse) but then i wouldn't be a mommy doing it different,unconditional love,respect,trust,etc.. for my son.
ouch.
I don't think she shouldn't have had you. But, would you think that it's a good idea for her to have another baby, now, knowing that she would likely abuse that baby as well? That's what I think we're talking about.
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#157 of 160 Old 02-15-2008, 03:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by thismama
I think if you don't call a spade a spade, or a homophobic comment, well... homophobic... people just dance merrily along thinking they have the right to speak in those ways, that it is an acceptable viewpoint meritous of real debate. Which it's not. It's homophobic.
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You are trying to make commentary about someone telling you their husband's issues and looking for help with it----by using the phrase calling a spade a spade.

I think this thread just hit the Irony point.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_call_a_spade_a_spade

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Its ultimate source is Plutarch's Apophthegmata Laconica (178BC)...The phrase predates the use of the word "spade" as an ethnic slur, which was not recorded in usage until 1928.

Mom to a teenager and a middle schooler.

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#158 of 160 Old 02-15-2008, 03:29 AM
 
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Oh.my.goodness.
It's finally come to me.... All this time I thought I was born gay, but now I realize --- it was my Lesbomaker play kitchen!!!!! They should have never let me play with that!! What was my mother thinking??
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#159 of 160 Old 02-15-2008, 04:07 AM
 
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Originally Posted by alegna View Post
I have nothing kind to say to a man who:

#1. Has such rigid gender stereotypes.

#2. Thinks that a TOY will make an individual homosexual or not.

and

#3. Is so homophobic as to be afraid of a toy making an individual homosexual.



-Angela
Yup, I'm agreeing with Alegna here.

And I guess the OP's husband is hoping his son moves right out from his mommy's house into his wife's house then? So that the women can cook for him his whole life?!?

http://www.willowtoys.com/ has some fantastic kitchens, MUCH better than any of the plastic ones out there.

A cute story:
BTW, my husband does the majority of cooking in our house. And when my son was 2, he had a toy kitchen and one day some twins we know came over and the little girl went to go play with his kitchen and he said, "no! Don't play with that, that's a BOY TOY!!" I laughed so hard...hahahaha.... I had to explain to him that yes, even though Daddy cooks supper all the time, both boys and girls can learn to cook. For some reason, DS forgot completely that I would usually make him breakfast, snacks and lunch...to him supper was the only meal that mattered, I guess.
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#160 of 160 Old 02-15-2008, 04:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by fiorio View Post
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I can't imagine stifling my DS's imagination and interests, especially based on outdated gender stereotypes. And my DH wouldn't either.


eta: That's so wacky...I didn't mean to laugh at fiorios' above post, I was laughing at the joke way above,
something like, "How will your son learn to cook the venison he shoots with his toy rifle?" LOL!!!!
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