Help me convice DH that buying DS a toy kitchen is not "gay" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 160 Old 02-04-2008, 11:30 PM - Thread Starter
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Just post, i'm making him read the thread.

My DS love the toy kitchen set a friend has for her 2 year old son and 4year old girl, and i've been wanting go get him one soon before March, so i told DH if next week we can go and look for a toy kitchen and he said, no, becuase toy kitchen is for girls and buying him one wil be "gay".
BTW, DS is 2.
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#2 of 160 Old 02-04-2008, 11:34 PM
 
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Go toy kitchens for little boys! My nephew loves his! My brother-in-law played with his cousins growing up and graduated with honors from a top culinary school. He's now a sous chef at a major resort in Montana. He has a girlfriend, and even if he had a boyfriend we would love him, and be proud of his culinary achievements!

Me:
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#3 of 160 Old 02-04-2008, 11:46 PM
 
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Homosexuality isn't an issue here, in my opinion, whether or not you support it. I can see a dad being concerned about a little boy wearing a pink tutu or something (yes, even though some moms on this site would be okay with that), but a kitchen? Perhaps if my husband would have had a toy kitchen as a child, he could make something besides a pbj! If it makes him more comfortable, get a wooden kitchen with blue dish towels, a grill, a manly chef's hat, etc. Aren't more chefs men than women?
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#4 of 160 Old 02-04-2008, 11:58 PM
 
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I.. I don't know what to say. It's not like you're bedazzling a tutu for him. It's a kitchen for crying out loud.

Frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do. Because they're FAST.
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#5 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:21 AM
 
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I guess he things the big kitchen is just for women then?

Diane, SAHM to DD (June 05) and DS (April 07).
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#6 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:31 AM
 
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I guess he things the big kitchen is just for women then?
No kidding!

Some of the best chefs in the world are men. Gordon Ramsay? Yum! Definitely not gay.

Mama to Boy (2) and Girl (5)
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#7 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:37 AM
 
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So you are gay if you cook? Never know that

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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#8 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:42 AM
 
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Some of the best chefs in the world are men. Gordon Ramsay? Yum! Definitely not gay.
Exactly! Big fan of Jamie Oliver here and he is certainly not gay. Emeril, Charlie Trotter, Wolfgang Puck, Todd English, Rocco DiSpirito (YUM!) etc..
I dated a chef in college- definitely not gay.

We have a play kitchen and it has been the one toy that all three of my children have enjoyed (two girls and one boy).

I find it fascinating that a toy can be gay or make a kid gay (a bedazzled tutu couldn't do it either I imagine).

If you plan on having more kids, and you have a girl, is your husband going to cordon off the section of girl's toys and not let your son play with them?
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#9 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:43 AM
 
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What if reading a website called "Mothering" makes him gay?
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#10 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:43 AM
 
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your dh is buying into massive gender and sexual orientation stereotypes. It is hard to even know where to start.

I am very proud that my 4 year old son knows the recipe for pancakes, knows how to make shepard's pie, and loves to eat new foods that my dh makes for us. He is "chef Anthony" in the kitchen and of all his preschool classmates, he was the ONLY one who could name all the vegetables the teacher showed.

Cooking is one of the finer arts in life - one I am thankful my children are showing an interest in early on.

Oh, and a piece of plastic is not going to influence the sexual orientation of my children.

I am not even sure where to start with the rampant homophobia in the entire premise.

You know the attributes for a great adult? Initiative, creativity, intellectual curiosity? They make for a helluva kid...
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#11 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:45 AM
 
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: I dislike things being labled "gay".

Blessed with two BEAUTIFUL little girls: Kylie (09/06) and Maggie (4/09) :
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#12 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:52 AM
 
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Oh come on. That's just silly. You make him prove to you that the toys one plays with at age two have an impact on sexual identity, okay? Can playing with cars make a kid straight? Is being gay BAD or something? I mean really. Make him gay--get a grip.

If your husband wants the child to do daddyish rather than mommyish pretend play, he can buy him a workbench. The main thing is that two year olds like to open and close doors and hide things in the cabinet. (Am I right? Isn't that what he likes in the friends' kitchen set? You put the play food in the little microwave or fridge and shut the door, hooray! Again and again.) You can accomplish the same thing if you have a kitchen drawer that you can free up and fill with plastic vessels. he'll come empty it out and fill it up again!

Gosh, I love two year olds. It's fun that my kid is five now but I love hanging out with our friends' two year old sometimes. So much language acquisition. Tell your husband to stop worrying and start enjoying.

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#13 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:54 AM
 
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Yeah, Emeril LaGasse, Wolfgang Puck, and Bobby Flay are counting their gay money all the way to the gay bank. Big 'mo's. As an aside, my son's big gay kitchen was purple and green but now that he's seven, he's advanced to the real kitchen and is using some really ungay stuff in there. I have seen some very boyish kitchens-browns and blues and reds if that will make him feel better.
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#14 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:59 AM
 
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Cooking is not specific to one gender, and cooking does not have anything to do with sexual orientation/identity. Your Dh is stuck in a very narrow mindset, and it's one that is particularly destructive to children, IMO.

Has he (Dh) ever used a stove? Scrambled an egg? Boiled macaroni? Ask him if he's gay.

And even if it could "make him gay", which it cannot... why would that be bad?

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
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#15 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 01:07 AM - Thread Starter
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Oh Thanks.

He cooks and cleans around the house, though he doesn't want to the world to know(oops i think i just said it)
Thanks mammas,forgive him, he's just a 40 year old guy raised into a very male and female stereotype thing, boys dress in blue and girls in pink, etc.

Thanks for the advice
and lmao to this:
Quote:
What if reading a website called "Mothering" makes him gay?
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#16 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 02:21 AM
 
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I have nothing kind to say to a man who:

#1. Has such rigid gender stereotypes.

#2. Thinks that a TOY will make an individual homosexual or not.

and

#3. Is so homophobic as to be afraid of a toy making an individual homosexual.



-Angela
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#17 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 03:05 AM
 
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get him or build him a wooden kitchen and get those realistic Ikea pots and pans and have your DH teach him to say "BAM" like Emeril?




really though I think your DH is kinda past silly
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#18 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 03:10 AM
 
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Men don't eat?

My 4yo and 2.5yo boys love their kitchen. Now - it's not hot pink or anything (I wouldn't buy a hot pink one for a girl either), but they adore it. Fantastic toy for any kiddo.
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#19 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 03:19 AM
 
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Mario Batali.
Anthony Bourdain.
Bobby Flay.
Jaime Oliver.
Charlie Trotter.
James Beard.
Jaques Pepin.
James Haller.
Jaques Torres.
Bernard Callebaut.

All men who have made their names in kitchens. There's many more. Way more than women, that's for sure.
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#20 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 04:55 AM
 
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It is very difficult for individuals to break free from the impact of gender stereotypes. There's no point being unkind to this Father, the fact that he is willing to read our responses show that on some level he is willing to think outside of the box.

1. Having a toy kitchen will not turn your child gay.

2. There is nothing wrong with being gay anyway.

3. Stop associating the kitchen with femaleness.

4. We're not living in the Dark Ages, men and women both cook


Peace
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#21 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 05:46 AM
 
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Nothing is more sexy to a woman than a man who can cook...
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#22 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 10:02 AM
 
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I bought my sons a toy kitchen because I would like them to become fully functional human beings who can fend for themselves someday.

I wouldn't marry a man who wouldn't cook and I don't want daughters-in-law who would either.

Plus, it's just fun for the kids.

: Deirdre & the boys ('02 & '06 vintage)
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#23 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 10:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Einley View Post
I find it fascinating that a toy can be gay or make a kid gay (a bedazzled tutu couldn't do it either I imagine).
No, of course not. But a father being worried about his son wearing a bedazzled tutu is slightly more understandable then a... kitchen. It's a kitchen! Maybe I just grew up in a gender equal home, actually I know I did because my father is a great cook, but I just can't wrap my head around the idea that a boy should not play with a toy kitchen. It's weird.

Frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do. Because they're FAST.
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#24 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 10:30 AM
 
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Two words:

Iron Chef

Plus, my husband learned how to cook because he'd heard a newsradio article that did a survey on single men ... according to the article, the most, ahem, "successful" dates happened as a direct result of going to the girlfriend's apartment to cook her dinner. Before (and, yes, up to) dating me, DH claimed a 100 percent "success" rate with this particular technique.

Needless to say, he is no longer allowed to cook in any household but our own
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#25 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 11:10 AM
 
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Having a play kitchen is no more 'gay' than EATING is.

(The way I read it, the father hasn't expressed that he thinks having a play kitchen will make his son homosexual. He's using 'gay' as a descriptive term for something that is not desirable. Not that it's any better.)

Ann-Marita. I deleted my usual signature due to, oh, wait, if I say why, that might give too much away. 

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#26 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 11:37 AM
 
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So Jug, what does your dh say to all of this?

BTW, every little preschool aged boy I know has a play kitchen!!
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#27 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 11:40 AM
 
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Just a thought to add to this - so much math is learned in the kitchen - volume, fractions (1/2 cup), weight, etc. etc. Don't give up a whole range of play that will foster your son's imagination and experience with concrete stuff that will help him succeed later!

~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
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#28 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady In Red View Post
Nothing is more sexy to a woman than a man who can cook...
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#29 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:33 PM
 
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I think that anyone who can't deal with the possibility of their child being homosexual should do us all a favor and refrain from having children. Along with all the racists, neo-nazis, and other bigots out there. : :
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#30 of 160 Old 02-05-2008, 12:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann-Marita View Post
Having a play kitchen is no more 'gay' than EATING is
:
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