What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 17 - Mothering Forums

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#481 of 1466 Old 07-22-2008, 09:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by IceyTheBatmom View Post

Umm, what? My son's first birthday, and you want to get (not make!) the cake? Uh-uh. Not happening.
My mil from hell did this EVERY YEAR for dd, even though she had dairy allergies and couldn't eat the pink piece of trash from the bakery and I'd already baked her a REAL cake! She didn't even ask me, just "Oh, you can put your funny vegetarian food on the counter where it won't get in the way if you don't want to eat dd's birthday cake."
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#482 of 1466 Old 07-22-2008, 10:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by cabbitdancer View Post
"Everyone did it to me, so now it's my turn!"
She had to put up with that sort of BS and she's choosing to do it to you? Next time she whines about you nursing while talking on the phone "What on earth makes you think I'd care what you want? I used to take your feelings into account, but then you told me that it was your turn to be inconsiderate on purpose. So now you can suck it up and if you don't like it, don't call."
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#483 of 1466 Old 07-22-2008, 10:38 PM
 
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I had this great conversation a couple days ago, my mother is the queen of not thinking before she speaks.

Mom: "So is DD eating today?"
Me: "Not much, but no big deal... she'll eat when she's hungry."
Mom: "Did she poop?"
Me: "No poop today, probably because she isn't eating much."
Mom: "You know, Freud says that daughters hold back bodily functions to get back at their mothers for things they've done to them. What have you done to her?"
Me: "Are you joking?"
Mom: "No, she's smart, it's obvious she's doing this to get back at you."

Good friggin' grief.

Liz, mommy to DD1 (June 2006) and DD2 (August 2008) :
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#484 of 1466 Old 07-22-2008, 11:24 PM
 
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Ok, so technically this isn't about 'parenting' but about actually having the baby... it was just so crazy when I heard it, I thought of this thread, and HAD to post.

Last week, I got an ultrasound. According to the US, the baby weighs in at 4lbs 12oz, which, if you REALLY believe US weights, is a wee bit big.

When I told my sister this, she exclaimed, "Well you should ASK for a c-section! You don't want to rip your 'parts'!"

Yeah, like I want extra surgery. What was she thinking???
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#485 of 1466 Old 07-23-2008, 12:05 AM
 
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[Mom: "You know, Freud says that daughters hold back bodily functions to get back at their mothers for things they've done to them. What have you done to her?"Me: "Are you joking?"
Mom: "No, she's smart, it's obvious she's doing this to get back at you."
QUOTE]


Sounds like my mom. She swears the baby cries because he is being abused. She asks "What have you done to him?" She also accuses me of feeding him inappropriate foods whenever she changes the diaper and the color/consistency/smell/volume is not to her liking. Not funny at all...
Sometimes mothers have to be cut off. There's a fine line between genuine concern gone wrong, and ridiculousness that a new parent should not have to put up with.
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#486 of 1466 Old 07-24-2008, 08:15 AM
 
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What is it with grandma's and poop? My mom always says ds is either hungery or poopy. It gets annoying. I highly doubt that an infant can "get back" at their mother by not pooping, when they get older they will find other ways.

 Yoga loving momma to DD Eden Raine 8/04 , DS Brett Edwin 2/08 , DS Brantley Albert 12/12 and wife for more than a decade to Jason .
Namaste
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#487 of 1466 Old 07-24-2008, 08:48 PM
 
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Here's a lovely gem I got from my mother about an hour ago.

My cousin is having a baby and she wants to go back to work almost right away, so my mother will be nannying for her most of the week.

Today on the phone, my mother told me that my cousin couldn't wait another month for the baby and wanted to have him now and my mother agreed with her and advised her to ask her doctor to have a c-section so they could have the baby a month early!

And neither of them sees a problem with this.

When I shrieked at my mother for saying something like that to my little cousin, she replied "well, SHE was born two months early and she's fine."

:

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#488 of 1466 Old 07-24-2008, 09:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ravishing View Post
I was grocery shopping when DS was around 5 months old. He was in his car seat, glazed over and about to fall asleep. An old man came over to look at my son and tried in vain to get his attention. The man then looked at me and told me that my son has very poor vision and can't focus on things. Obviously at that age he could. I was a little stunned and trying to be polite and get on with my shopping so I said "actually he's thinking about taking a nap right now." It might not have come out perfectly but I assumed the man would understand that DS was half asleep and not focusing on a whole lot more than the back of his eye lids at that point in time. The man snorted and said "yeah - thinking about it" and then walked away muttering like I'm some idiot who doesn't know the first thing about their child's ability to see clearly.

Sometimes I really dread going shopping because it seems like a lot of the people who feel the need to make a comment are the ones who are better off not saying anything at all.
people are so strange! Why would someone feel the need to come up to a stranger in a store and say something like that about their baby?
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#489 of 1466 Old 07-24-2008, 10:13 PM
 
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Here's a lovely gem I got from my mother about an hour ago.

My cousin is having a baby and she wants to go back to work almost right away, so my mother will be nannying for her most of the week.

Today on the phone, my mother told me that my cousin couldn't wait another month for the baby and wanted to have him now and my mother agreed with her and advised her to ask her doctor to have a c-section so they could have the baby a month early!

And neither of them sees a problem with this.

When I shrieked at my mother for saying something like that to my little cousin, she replied "well, SHE was born two months early and she's fine."

:

O.M.G. Are people really that completely clueless???!!!

Retorical question.

-:¦:-♥Sarah Lynne♥-:¦:-Wife to Michael and Mommy to Austin(5), Steven(3), Tristyn(1), and Laurelyn (6/3/2011)

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#490 of 1466 Old 07-24-2008, 10:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by amberskyfire View Post
Here's a lovely gem I got from my mother about an hour ago.

My cousin is having a baby and she wants to go back to work almost right away, so my mother will be nannying for her most of the week.

Today on the phone, my mother told me that my cousin couldn't wait another month for the baby and wanted to have him now and my mother agreed with her and advised her to ask her doctor to have a c-section so they could have the baby a month early!

And neither of them sees a problem with this.

When I shrieked at my mother for saying something like that to my little cousin, she replied "well, SHE was born two months early and she's fine."

:
And you'll look like a total UAV if you aren't shocked and horrified when the baby ends up in the NICU (: that at 36 weeks it's only for a few days). Do they make "I'm sorry for you, but you know it's your own fault." cards?

"I'm sorry that you're feeling blue,
But you know why, 'cause I told you,
I told you just a month/week/day ago
You'd be better off if things went slow."
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#491 of 1466 Old 07-25-2008, 07:54 PM
 
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It was one of the first very nice springtime days so when I took my almost 1yo out for a stroll I went to sit on a bench while he was in the stroller, facing the pleasant morning sun.

Two elderly man were sitting on another bench close by. Then they walked by and actually one of them had the nerve to MOVE the stroller/my child so that my child would not be facing the sun:! In addition commenting that my son shouldn't be in the sun like that .

If There's ANYTHING that makes me mad about interfering in parenting by others, especially strangers, is touching or moving my baby without asking and/or in a way I do NOT WANT.

I gave them very fierce looks while moving my son again and said that my baby IS facing the sun because in spite of their assumption the sun IS good for him!

(by the way summer sun here is way too strong, so springtime, early mornings in summer and noon for autumn/winter are the best for sun exposure and vitamin D skin consumption).

Luckily they did not attempt moving DS a second time!

Me:,loving HB,two active sons of 3 & 5,1 cat, nature lover,,extbf,occ,SAHM, multicultural/lingual family,+/-cl, :become a better parent/person by not expecting to be the perfect parent/person
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#492 of 1466 Old 07-25-2008, 08:02 PM
 
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Once in a blue moon we get someone who asks us what are we going to do if DD grows up straight.

Um... send her to repairative therapy and make her a lesbian I guess.

Most likely I'll help her pick out her wedding dress when she meets the man of her dreams.

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#493 of 1466 Old 07-25-2008, 11:02 PM
 
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Once in a blue moon we get someone who asks us what are we going to do if DD grows up straight.

Um... send her to repairative therapy and make her a lesbian I guess.

Most likely I'll help her pick out her wedding dress when she meets the man of her dreams.
OMG thats special lol

I hope you pick out a lovely dress together

-:¦:-♥Sarah Lynne♥-:¦:-Wife to Michael and Mommy to Austin(5), Steven(3), Tristyn(1), and Laurelyn (6/3/2011)

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#494 of 1466 Old 07-25-2008, 11:11 PM
 
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And you'll look like a total UAV if you aren't shocked and horrified when the baby ends up in the NICU (: that at 36 weeks it's only for a few days). Do they make "I'm sorry for you, but you know it's your own fault." cards?
Ah, but what if they're not too broken up over the NICU thing cause it gives her some extra recovery time at home alone? : I've heard of people being like that.
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#495 of 1466 Old 07-26-2008, 03:32 AM
 
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#496 of 1466 Old 07-26-2008, 03:44 AM
 
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Whenever I'm pissed off at my hubby I hold my poop for like three days to get back at him. Works like a charm.

...WTH does not pooping have to do with revenge?
Sounds more like she's never bothered to look up the mean of "anal retentive" and just stuck her own definition on it.

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#497 of 1466 Old 07-26-2008, 11:32 AM
 
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Sounds more like she's never bothered to look up the mean of "anal retentive" and just stuck her own definition on it.
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#498 of 1466 Old 07-26-2008, 12:58 PM
 
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I got more, from my dad. Mostly he just hassels me about avoiding junk food.

1. One time he was going on about how I was way too cautious about feeding DS, and I told him "Fine, if you're such an expert, go get some honey out of the kitchen for him, so he can get botulism and die." He turns to my mom and says "I think some people are way too caught up in the 'he could die' thing." She started to agree, but then I said, quite loudly, "I think some people are way too caught up in the 'telling me how to raise my kid,' thing." Then my mom laughed, and agreed with me, wholeheartedly.

2. My parents came over a couple days ago, and my dad asked "How long did that cloth diaper thing last?" I explained that the ones from the seriously overpriced diaper service sucked, and only really worked until DS got 'wiggly,' around 2 and 1/2 or 3 months old. Dad started to look smug, so I followed with "But the ones I'm sewing now don't leak nearly as much as those ones did, and he's bigger, so the disposibles cost more, so we're getting back in to it. Turns out washing them isn't as difficult." That wiped the look of his face.

3. So then a few subject changes later, he asked if his dear grandson was sleeping through the night. A common question, but much more reasonable now that DS is 10 months old. I said "Nope. I don't expect him to, either." Dad says "Isn't that the goal? Get him to sleep through the night? So you can sleep? You look like you need it." I explained that DS had taken two 30 minute naps in place of his usual two 1-1/2 to 3 hour naps that day, and that I do sleep through the night. DS goes to his bed for naps during the day, and for the first 'chunk' of the night, then when he wakes up, if DH is still up, he puts DS in the bed with me, or I'll get up and move him, so we get about 3 hours of time to ourselves, and DS can eat in his (and my) sleep until morning. The look on dad's face was 'Wow. You sure got that figured out.'
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#499 of 1466 Old 07-26-2008, 09:02 PM
 
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Ahhh, (wiping tears from my eyes) I've been reading this thread all day! I love it.

I have a few things of my own to add, but first I'd like to offer a response to this:

[QUOTE=ernalala;11710684]Well, this is similar advice as I got from a pediatric dietician (free consultation offered by the hospital where DS1 was born and where he has his pediatrician). She insisted that now he is '6mo' (corrected age only less than 5mo!) I SHOULD start him on solids, I said sth about starting with some vegetables and fruit if I see he's ready, then she kept on telling me and INSISTING that my little baby should be put on REAL MEAL SOLIDS and IRON containing foods containing meat!, egg!, and that he should finish (finish!) three bowls of solids EVERY SINGLE DAY, and based on a strict scheme!!! I was not that super well informed yet about everything about babies but my common sense and mother instinct told me that this woman just didn't KNOW ANYTHING about what babies really need in their diet, which was of course still LOTS of breastmilk for the coming months (and beyond only I hadn't that clue yet :-)./[QUOTE]

IMO you're quite right about the timing, and expecting any baby to 'finish' a meal. That's too much too soon!

Just wanted to let you know that the IBCLC reccomends veggies, meats and egg yolks as first foods, because of the very low incidents of allergies with those foods. If you have philosophical objections to meat eating, that's be a different story, of course, but there is some good evidence to support the introduction of grains and fruits as first foods as contributing to obesity.


Here are my gems!

From my Mother- You really should get him a walker so he can scoot around the house on his own! (DS was about 4 mos)
me- Mom, it's not good for them to learn to walk that way, and it can damage their feet.
mom- No seriously honey, it teaches them to be good problem solvers! (and learning to crawl/walk doesn't?)
This is the same woman who let me take a trip down a flight of stairs in my walker as a infant! :

Then there was the very young male teller at the bank:
I had just mustered my painful postpartum self enough to walk a block to the bank, and I had DS in the sling.
Teller- That's a new way to carry a baby! (I see his supervisor visibly tense up)
Me- Actually, it's a very OLD way to carry a baby.
Supervisor relaxes, and smirks at ignorant young teller.


Then there's my grandmother, to whom it was recomended that she stop BF'ing her DD (my aunt) because she had mastitis. She said to me, 'I should have known I didn't need to do that, I grew up on a goat farm, and I should have asked my father what to do. Why, when a nanny got an infection, the first thing we did was milk her every chance we got!

Go, Granny, Go!

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#500 of 1466 Old 07-26-2008, 09:56 PM
 
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I had 3 people gang up on me last weekend and ask me if "That baby is sleeping in his own bed yet?" and went onto say "have you considerred the psychological damage you are doing to him?"
I replied "everyone has their own opinions about what's right or wrong, babies don't come with hand books but I know far more people with separation anxiety and emotionally unstable people who btw were born in the era when everyone thought the CIO way was the only way then I have friends who are 40 and still want to sleep with their mama's"

Then I told them that if he still wanted to sleep with me by the time he got married then he and his new wife could support me. LOL :
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#501 of 1466 Old 07-28-2008, 08:35 AM
 
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Not the dumbest, but pretty dumb - DD had a well-baby checkup last week and the dr recommended a multi-vitamin since there's not too much vitamin D in breastmilk. Um, it's JULY, not January. And we don't live at the South Pole, we live in Virginia. And no, we don't keep her in the house 24/7. Holy cow, don't these people know basic nutrition?

Me, my Sweetie , DD 1 (Dec 07),  and DD 2 (Dec 09). Co-sleeping, delayed-vaxing, quia Lutherans!
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#502 of 1466 Old 07-28-2008, 10:34 PM
 
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This is a pregnancy one.

I UPed/UCed and while I was at Motherhood Maternity looking for some clothes, the sales clerk asked me what the gender of my baby would be (I was at 20 weeks). I said we weren't finding out.

"Can you do that?"
"Yeah we're not getting an ultrasound"
"That is so unsafe! what if..."

Then, when the next customer walked into the store, the clerk turned and asked her, "Don't you think she should get an ultrasound?"
"Yeah." + more lecture from that lady
Then the new customer made sure to write down her OB's number and told me to see him.


I would have left sooner, but the sales clerk took 10 minutes- holding my purchase in her hand- to give me a lecture.

Never went back.

Mommy to DD March 2008, DS July 2010
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#503 of 1466 Old 07-28-2008, 11:05 PM
 
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tophat thats really crappy, the clerk is there to dispense clothes, not medical advice! write them a letter citing the clerks name and how they have permanently lost a customer.
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#504 of 1466 Old 07-29-2008, 12:09 AM
 
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I would complain. That was out of line.
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#505 of 1466 Old 07-29-2008, 10:34 AM
 
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I haven't had a good experience with Motherhood maternity either.

I was about 20 weeks pregnant with DS1 and I'm on the lower end of plus size. I go in the store and the lady takes one look at me and says "Ma'am we don't have clothes in your size here. You'll have to go to the other Motherhood Maternity across town." I was so flabbergasted I just walked out. I did indeed go to the other MM because I needed clothes and they were much nicer there and were also stunned by the other stores attitude.

My older sister pulled a gem the other day. She pulled into the parking lot at the grocery store as I was leaving and so I stopped to talk. She was telling me how she was going to watch my niece Lily (my younger sister's daughter) while my sister went to shoot pool with her boyfriend and then was going to keep her overnight (for my little sister's birthday) Ok thats fine. She then proceeds to tell me "Yeah Beth was going to let her friend Liz watch Lily overnight, but I just didn't feel comfortable letting someone I didn't know watch Lily." I gave her a look and said "I highly doubt Beth would leave Lily with someone if she didn't trust them completely."

Oh and she also complains to everyone behind my back because I don't vax our kids.

-:¦:-♥Sarah Lynne♥-:¦:-Wife to Michael and Mommy to Austin(5), Steven(3), Tristyn(1), and Laurelyn (6/3/2011)

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#506 of 1466 Old 07-29-2008, 10:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by jessica_lizette View Post
Whenever I'm pissed off at my hubby I hold my poop for like three days to get back at him. Works like a charm.
up

OH MY. That was just, like, the best thing ever.
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#507 of 1466 Old 07-29-2008, 10:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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tophat thats really crappy, the clerk is there to dispense clothes, not medical advice! write them a letter citing the clerks name and how they have permanently lost a customer.
:
And a good U/S tech will respect peoples' wishes not to find out anyway, so the woman was being absurd at the first question.

You should've grabbed your stuff from her and then promptly returned them. "Reason for return?" "I'm not giving money to a store where that woman works."
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#508 of 1466 Old 07-29-2008, 11:09 AM
 
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Oh my ...

This is from the weekend -
Mom: We took you out whether it was bedtime or not.
Me: Well, Calloway puts himself down for bed. He sleeps through the night, why mess with a bad thing? The last time you had him, you had to bring him back because you ignored me about bedtime.
Mom: That had nothing to do with bedtime, he's just too attached to you. He wouldn't stop screaming.
Me: Yeah, that's because you had him at Lowe's when he was supposed to be going to bed.
Mom: What does it matter? You can let him cry, it won't hurt him.

Then, from my SIL (same night) ...
SIL: Why are you all leaving? You were the last to show, you can't be the first to leave.
Me (motions to sleeping Calloway in the Moby): It's time for bed. Every time the kids go screaming by him, he wakes up.
SIL: Why do you have to be so difficult? We all have kids, we've heard them scream before.
Me: He doesn't need to scream. He knows what he wants, and that's to go to bed. At home.
SIL: You're going to have an unruly, mean child on your hands if you let him run your life. Look at Lydia, Ella and Jonah - they don't have a bedtime and they're perfectly fine. (this is said as Lydia and Ella go sprinting by, with sticks in their hands, screaming and trying to kill each other)
Me: Yeah ... Okay. Bye guys.
SIL to my mother: Katie doesn't know what's coming to her. She's bought into that hippy-cult attitude called Attachment Parenting. I read about it and it's a crock of shit.

My family's nuts, by the way.

K: Wife to C, Momma to C (2/20/08) & A (11/7/09)!
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#509 of 1466 Old 07-29-2008, 12:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
:
And a good U/S tech will respect peoples' wishes not to find out anyway, so the woman was being absurd at the first question.

You should've grabbed your stuff from her and then promptly returned them. "Reason for return?" "I'm not giving money to a store where that woman works."
Yeah. When I pass by the store, I sometimes still see that clerk. Maybe I'll see if I can't get her name.

Last time I saw her she was speaking to another mother whose baby was in a bucket seat with a bottle propped up- the kid was no more than 4 weeks old. From what I got of the conversation, they were like best friends (the clerk and the other lady) and the poor babe was at least a yard away from anybody.

Well, I'm going to my parent's house this week for the first time in over a year. I'm sure I'll get to hear all kinds of things! They aren't big fans of bfing, not vaxing, co-sleeping, or even baby wearing "You're still wearing that...thing?."

It's hard for me to defend myself in front of them- they were pretty demeaning parents while I was growing up and I always feel like a child when I'm around them.

On the phone Sunday my mom asked if there was something I'd like to do when I'm in town. I said, "Yeah. I know there's an LLL meeting Friday morning I'd like to go to, especially with World Breastfeeding Week starting on Friday."
"We'll have to discuss that."

UGH! I'm a member of an organization and I'd like to go to a meeting. What is there to discuss?

DH says I should be sweet and invite her to come. Maybe I will.

Sorry so OT. I'm just nervous about this trip- 6 days with just me and my baby- DH is staying behind to work. DH is such a help and backs me up and I won't have him with me.

But back on topic, I'm looking for good retorts that I can quickly memorize before this trip so when I get the interrogation, I don't sit there with a blank face. I've been reading this thread and the old one. There are some good ones, but I'm so bad at remembering them!

So yeah. Good retorts, please. I'll keep on reading the old thread, too.

Oh, I have one, kind of. I was selling slings at a fair with a couple of moms in our AP playgroup. One of the AP moms I was with jokingly said, "If you wear your baby too much, you'll spoil her!"
I joked back, "Well, I'm sorry, but I actually like my daughter, thank you very much!" We had a good laugh.

I'll have to use it in real life, sometime.

Mommy to DD March 2008, DS July 2010
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Originally Posted by TopHat View Post
They aren't big fans of bfing, not vaxing, co-sleeping, or even baby wearing "You're still wearing that...thing?."
: "Ex-cuse me!? That "thing" is MY baby." Then walk away. Bonus points for making them explain for 5+ minutes that they meant the carrier, but you have to keep a straight face.

The classic retort, "Well, I'm the mom, so your opinion really isn't worth anything, but thanks for thinking of me. Want some bean dip?"

Or the more polite version "Oh interesting, I'll have to think about that...want some bean dip?" (...) is either "wow, I really will have to think about that" or "okay, done, you're a twit." but you don't say them out loud.

"Gosh you really miss having a baby of your own, don't you?"

"Wow. That's um, an interesting opinion. Doesn't match with any of the research I've done, have any sources?"

"What? Does it hurt your feelings to see me breastfeed or something? Look mom, I'm sorry you feel left out, but I'm not about to offer you the other side."
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