What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 25 - Mothering Forums

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#721 of 1466 Old 09-29-2008, 08:12 AM
 
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I was at my nephew's (ODsis son) birthday party on Saturday and DS2 needed to nurse. It was too hot and crazy with the kids running around outside so I went in the house to nurse him in the quiet. BIL (YDSis BF) comes in looking for a trash can and asks "Are you breastfeeding?" I say "Yep!" and he goes "Oh so I guess your still into that." I just said yeah, but all I could think is "Still into that?" like it's some kind of passing fad that I'm holding onto lol. That's me alright. Next I'm plotting to bring the '60s back.:

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#722 of 1466 Old 09-29-2008, 10:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post
My grandmother's fav phrase is "Pobrecito! He has gas! You didn't burp him well enough!" EVERY.TIME.HE.CRIES. :
Wait, "pobrecito" is a real word? I say that all the time about fussy babies. Wonder where I learned it from...
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#723 of 1466 Old 09-29-2008, 12:59 PM
 
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Wait, "pobrecito" is a real word? I say that all the time about fussy babies. Wonder where I learned it from...
Isn't it Spanish for "poor baby"?

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#724 of 1466 Old 09-29-2008, 01:34 PM
 
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Isn't it Spanish for "poor baby"?
Yup!

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#725 of 1466 Old 09-29-2008, 01:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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of course...I picked it up from "Abuela" my French tutor's mother.
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#726 of 1466 Old 09-29-2008, 03:08 PM
 
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She freaked and said we have to make sure we keep the cats out of the baby's room once she comes...b/c they will steal her milk?
LOL i don't know how that would happen unless you leave EBM out in a cat dish! although my cats are very interested in and sniff around the breastshields right after i've pumped!

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#727 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 06:40 AM
 
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When I mentioned I was 'still' bf my 2y8m toddler, two women asked if I still got any milk then? Of course, otherwise we wouldn't really nurse anymore, would we?
Absolute limit fıor bf in this country (Turkey) seems to be 2 years, and 2 years EXACT! It's like: 'oh now, baby, your bf time's up, let's quit alltogether, tomorrow no more 'cause you're 2 and 2y1day is just too old for it. Or whatever.

I don't understand doctors recommending women to start (night) bottle feeding at one because mom's milk is really not nutritious anymore at that age (bf is not only about nutritients anyway, right), and those women believing every dr.'s advice given to them... (a neighbour

I wish there would be an organisation like LLL here that stops all these fables about bm...

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#728 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 07:17 AM
 
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Now, I got another one :-( :-)

When just now I picked up my son from pre-school I was holding his brother (the 2y8m old) and another mother there said 'shame' to him (!) because she saw he's 'still' in diapers... She is about the only other (presently) SAHM sending her child there, also half days, but because of several remarks she gave already in the short conversations I had with her at the school gate, I doubt it to be a good idea to get more 'friendly' with her... And ı guess good SHE doesn't know about our extbf or I would become a real freak while I find I'm pretty normal :-).

I can understand children sometimes making fun of another child in diapers when they're out of those, but I do not understand the necessity of adults (with diaperless child) to interfere with an individual and private process as un-diapering even to the point of shaming a toddler (and consequentially the parent, too). And he's not even three.

It's not a first time we got this unwanted 'message' and it irritates me so much! Especially because of the way people have been 'addressing' it to my little boy. There's nothing he should EVER be ashamed of (unless it's throwing stones at someone or something like that and even then I'd like not to shame him but just remind him it's not something you do...).

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#729 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 07:44 AM
 
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When just now I picked up my son from pre-school I was holding his brother (the 2y8m old) and another mother there said 'shame' to him
Can I just add something here that may or may not be relevant

I am South African, and where I come from, saying "shame" to someone is NOT AT ALL actually shaming them!
It's used more to commiserate with someone, or even as a term of affection. I guess it would be the equivalent of the British "awww bless him".

For example I say daily things like "Shame my boy, are you hungry?" or, "Shame, babe (to DH) look what he's doing, it's so cute", or after a fall, "Shame, did you bump your head?"

it sounds weird as I'm typing it but just thought I'd throw this out there...any South African's out there that know what I'm talking about?

She may of course HAVE meant it the way you perceived it, in which case, that's definitely out of line, but maybe it was just a cultural misunderstanding?
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#730 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 08:10 AM
 
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Apparently, I am co-sleeping for my own selfish reasons ie by trying to enjoy every moment with my cuddly boy before he is all grown up. I am doing my son a disservice by not teaching my child how to deal with life on his own ie by not letting him cry himself to sleep and being there for him when he needs me. :

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#731 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 08:23 AM
 
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Well, thanks for your view on the 'shame' phrasing, but shame both in my mother tongue (Dutch) and my guest country's language (Turkish) definitely carries the meaning of 'shame'. It is eg said to children when they're still in diapers, being 'naughty', not walking yet, still bf, etc. sometimes more strongly when people find a child is totally out of line. İn the first case it's like saying: you're still little and not acting your age, grow up fast, be like your peers. I find it totally not ok. Especially since every child develops individually and it addresses the child in a very negative way. I am offended by it while knowing the offender is not even aware of the consequences of a (for him/her ok) 'random' remark. People say so many things without realising what they're actually doing. I don't want my child to have to hear the 'shame' word from someone who finds he should 'grow up'.
Many people here are convinced that a child should be out of diapers at 1 or 1,5, so I do know where it comes from.
Luckily, our pediatrician is also the one who says that a child should never be made to toilet train before 2,5 and only when it is clear he/she is physically and emotionally ready.
Another thing that bothers me here is that people tend to discuss topics regarding your children, in the presence of your children, as if these little creatures don't have ears and cannot be affected or hurt by people discussing things related to them over their heads. It gives me the creeps. I always try to redirect such conversations when it includes us as not to upset my children. And yes, this may be a cultural difference, but ı am sure there are many other local young moms that are fed up with such interfering too :-). Other people tend to always tell you what to do regarding parenting, and often know better. But that's a 'problem' for most young parents all over the world, I understand!

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#732 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 08:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ernalala View Post
Another thing that bothers me here is that people tend to discuss topics regarding your children, in the presence of your children, as if these little creatures don't have ears and cannot be affected or hurt by people discussing things related to them over their heads. It gives me the creeps. I always try to redirect such conversations when it includes us as not to upset my children. And yes, this may be a cultural difference, but ı am sure there are many other local young moms that are fed up with such interfering too :-). Other people tend to always tell you what to do regarding parenting, and often know better. But that's a 'problem' for most young parents all over the world, I understand!

I agree. This summer we were in the process of buying a house. The owner and I chatted on the patio while the house was being inspected. My ds was kind of shying away from her and wanted me to hold him. He had never met her before and was 14 months at the time. She started saying to him "you need to give your mommy some alone time, you always want mommy, we're going to have to get you into some playgroups and make some friends." Okay...we??? And I love that my boy wants to be with me all the time. He's a baby!!!

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#733 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 10:29 AM
 
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She started saying to him "you need to give your mommy some alone time, you always want mommy, we're going to have to get you into some playgroups and make some friends." Okay...we??? And I love that my boy wants to be with me all the time. He's a baby!!!
Well it's good for little children to start learning to be independent, but yeah, i love too that my boy wants to be with me all the time... the good thing would be for lifetime!

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#734 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 11:08 AM
 
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Well it's good for little children to start learning to be independent, but yeah, i love too that my boy wants to be with me all the time... the good thing would be for lifetime!

Oh but my kids learn to be very inventive and confident independent creatures exactly by being unconditionally allowed to be attached to their mother and father, and therefore get the complete trust and confidence they need to gradually explore the world by themselves. We never have babysits, we take them everywhere with us (which is not always easy, but it is what we want). Wanting to be with mom or dad all or most of the time is a natural thing but it does not have the consequence that a child will have issues with exploring his/her surroundings, or will have seperation anxiety because of that, I am strongly convinced of the opposite. And a lot is in a child's character too.
So I do not tend to stress on my acquiring independency for my children, since I believe it is a natural process just as toilet learning and such.
And apparently people who see this differently like to give remarks about that :-).

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#735 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 11:48 AM
 
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I was having a discussion at work just before having DD about choosing to BF and CD. One of my (male) co-workers looked at me and said "You're going to use cloth diapers?" I shot him a puzzled look and asked what that was supposed to mean. He just laughed and said "We'll see how long that lasts when you have to do laundry every day" and turned around in his chair. This coming from the same guy whose wife had to have a c-section because the OB told them that the baby was just too big for her body - an 8 pound baby too big?

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#736 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 11:59 AM
 
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I was having a discussion at work just before having DD about choosing to BF and CD. One of my (male) co-workers looked at me and said "You're going to use cloth diapers?" I shot him a puzzled look and asked what that was supposed to mean. He just laughed and said "We'll see how long that lasts when you have to do laundry every day" and turned around in his chair. This coming from the same guy whose wife had to have a c-section because the OB told them that the baby was just too big for her body - an 8 pound baby too big?
I love horrified guys who have cloth diapering wifes. They don't do the dirty laundry because their wifes do it mostly-but all you hear from some of them is "ooooh my goooooood, wait till you have to wash it". Or the "I am not sharing my laundy machine with poopy diapers"=again, while their SAHM wifes do most of the diaper changes and laundry. Never ceases to amaze me.

Or a lot of them in reality have never seen a modern cloth diaper and just don't do diaper changes, period. But of course those guys are the experts on the topic. What kind of UA Violation says "we'll see" as if that's anything up to him to decide or even judge? Mind boggling.
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#737 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 12:48 PM
 
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I have two ... When DS was maybe 4 months old we were in line a the grocery store, and the clerk says to me
"Why do you have him in that thing?" (Ring sling)
I said that he likes and it keeps him quiet, and it's easier the lugging the car seat.
She was very young and said "But don't you worry you'll bump him into things?"
I answered no, that I just got finished being pregnant for a long time, so I was used to not bumping my belly into things.
She says "I see parents wearing those things all the time, but when I have a baby, I'm going to use the carseat. I don't think it's safe!" (Interesting note, the woman directly behind me had her slightly older baby in a Bjorn... so this was offensive to both of us!)

At the same grocery store when DS was a little older, I had an older woman yell at DS "Your Mommy should turn you around so you can see stuff!" I didn't say anything, but it made me mad!

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#738 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 01:03 PM
 
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Yeah I have a (female) cousin who periodically asks if I'm still CDing. Um Yeah. I grew up CDing my younger sibs.

On the upside, Mr Toona is glad to chat with anyone and tell how he loves CDing! He thinks it's the best thing. This is his 5th child, first time CDing and he loves it. He does the diaper laundry sometimes and never hesitates at a diaper change. So boo! to those people fussing that you'll never keep it up after doing the laundry.

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#739 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 01:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NaturalMama311 View Post
I was having a discussion at work just before having DD about choosing to BF and CD. One of my (male) co-workers looked at me and said "You're going to use cloth diapers?" I shot him a puzzled look and asked what that was supposed to mean. He just laughed and said "We'll see how long that lasts when you have to do laundry every day" and turned around in his chair. This coming from the same guy whose wife had to have a c-section because the OB told them that the baby was just too big for her body - an 8 pound baby too big?
I hate those "we'll see how long that lasts" comments! I have my moments of smugness when I get to tell people that we're still CDing, it's really easy, and DD has never had diaper rash .

On the 8 lb baby being too big for a woman's body, it is possible. DD was less than 7 lbs at birth and I learned the hard way that my birth canal is small. She was stuck and required forceps & a 4th degree laceration to come out. That combined with a significant hemorrage means that my future deliveries will be c-sections.
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#740 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 02:23 PM
 
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Yeah I have a (female) cousin who periodically asks if I'm still CDing. Um Yeah. I grew up CDing my younger sibs.

On the upside, Mr Toona is glad to chat with anyone and tell how he loves CDing! He thinks it's the best thing. This is his 5th child, first time CDing and he loves it. He does the diaper laundry sometimes and never hesitates at a diaper change. So boo! to those people fussing that you'll never keep it up after doing the laundry.
My DH too...He loves cloth diapers (well he isn't obsessed like me ) however he did go with me to a used diaper sale that we had to drive 1.5 hours to get too and well he was pretty excited going through the pile of diapers and asking me "What about this one"

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#741 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 05:38 PM
 
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"You have to drink milk to make milk." I can't believe that one is still around.

My DP's niece just discovered she is allergic to milk. She hopes to start TTC sometime fairly soon, and since she heard she can't drink milk, she'd been assuming she wouldn't be able to breastfeed!

Luckily, she listened closely when I said it was good to eat well of course, but milk is certainly not required- she sure laughed when I reminded her that no other mammal drinks milk regularly while lactating.
Yep, I'm gonna do my best to befriend her and help her out with learning about everything

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#742 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 05:41 PM
 
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Like having one more Laos of laundry is what might put you her the edge? Heck, I do at least a load every day anyway!
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#743 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 06:45 PM
 
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my dh has no problems with the cloth. Sometimes he's confused whether something's a fitted or aio, and stuffing a pocket is a bit beyond him, so he usually just goes for a prefold and cover, since he never messes those up A couple times while babysitting my nephews, I've tried to get him to put the diaper on (sposie) while I run upstairs and shove the dirty one in the pail. He got all panicked and wanted to put the yucky one away because he didn't know HOW to do "that kind" of diaper. Awesome, eh? my dh is scared of sposies!!! LOL. I was like, dude, its just an aio, lol.

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#744 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 06:57 PM
 
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we even bathed her afterwards and she still smelled! her dr. bronners baby mild soap was no match for gallons of cologne.

i am planning on saying something about it. i will spin it from a medical perspective though, i.e. tll them that she has been getting rashes and the dr. told us not to let her come into contact with perfumes (which we don't do anyway). ugh.
Google toxic perfumes. There are plenty of valid reasons to keep that poisonous junk away from everybody. You can print out reams of information to hand them if they argue.

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#745 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 09:44 PM
 
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Google toxic perfumes. There are plenty of valid reasons to keep that poisonous junk away from everybody. You can print out reams of information to hand them if they argue.
At the WIC office and my old OB/GYN's office here they had signs put up that asked patients not to wear any perfume or scented products because of the effect they had on other people and the staff working there. I always found that odd, but I guess with the incredibly high rate of allergies these days, it makes sense.

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#746 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 10:04 PM
 
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"You have to drink milk to make milk." I can't believe that one is still around.
what? whe. da.. where does that come from? where do cows and goats get their milk! grass magic? holy boly, luckly no one has told me this, I would ask if they drink urine to make urine...

Not to invite the comparison but holy moly.

I couldn't give to humps about peoples allergies. They don't give two humps about mine, I think the world has become allergic to itself.
Smelling really really strong is just rude.

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#747 of 1466 Old 10-21-2008, 10:07 PM
 
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At the WIC office and my old OB/GYN's office here they had signs put up that asked patients not to wear any perfume or scented products because of the effect they had on other people and the staff working there. I always found that odd, but I guess with the incredibly high rate of allergies these days, it makes sense.
It's more than allergies. There are petrochemicals and things in perfumes that can cause brain damage. Perfumes, unlike other cosmetics or drugs are unregulated by the FDA or the EPA, and they don't have to list their ingredients, so people don't realize what horrible things they are spraying into the air and onto their bodies. The first 3 links tell about what kind of things are in perfume, air freshener and incense, and should give you some idea why you don't want your infant exposed to it.

http://www.ourlittleplace.com/chemicals.html
http://healthcarecentre.blogspot.com...es-cancer.html
http://healthychild.org/resources/ar...and_potpourri/
http://national-toxic-encephalopathy-foundation.org/
http://blogs.lifestyle.aol.ca/2008/0...hold-products/
http://www.safe2use.com/health/perfume-eternity.htm
http://www.ourlittleplace.com/perfume.html

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#748 of 1466 Old 10-22-2008, 09:41 AM
 
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Originally Posted by bigeyes View Post
It's more than allergies. There are petrochemicals and things in perfumes that can cause brain damage. Perfumes, unlike other cosmetics or drugs are unregulated by the FDA or the EPA, and they don't have to list their ingredients, so people don't realize what horrible things they are spraying into the air and onto their bodies. The first 3 links tell about what kind of things are in perfume, air freshener and incense, and should give you some idea why you don't want your infant exposed to it.

http://www.ourlittleplace.com/chemicals.html
http://healthcarecentre.blogspot.com...es-cancer.html
http://healthychild.org/resources/ar...and_potpourri/
http://national-toxic-encephalopathy-foundation.org/
http://blogs.lifestyle.aol.ca/2008/0...hold-products/
http://www.safe2use.com/health/perfume-eternity.htm
http://www.ourlittleplace.com/perfume.html

WHOA! What fascinating information! I generally can't stand perfumes and don't wear them myself, I'd much prefer the smell of BO if it comes to it that 80 gallons of heavy perfume. But this information takes that one degree further. No regulations? Just putting anything into it!?!? OY!

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#749 of 1466 Old 10-22-2008, 10:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by LiLStar View Post
my dh has no problems with the cloth. Sometimes he's confused whether something's a fitted or aio, and stuffing a pocket is a bit beyond him, so he usually just goes for a prefold and cover, since he never messes those up A couple times while babysitting my nephews, I've tried to get him to put the diaper on (sposie) while I run upstairs and shove the dirty one in the pail. He got all panicked and wanted to put the yucky one away because he didn't know HOW to do "that kind" of diaper. Awesome, eh? my dh is scared of sposies!!! LOL. I was like, dude, its just an aio, lol.
Sposies aren't AIOs though. They're AIOs where the fastener tries to attach itself to everything and some sposies have fasteners that you can't reposition. With and AIO you can fiddle with things until it's right.

My dh, who can't neatly fold a letter to go into an envelope, has no problem with using flats. It's just a matter of practice.
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#750 of 1466 Old 10-22-2008, 10:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by kriket View Post
what? whe. da.. where does that come from? where do cows and goats get their milk! grass magic? holy boly, luckly no one has told me this, I would ask if they drink urine to make urine...

Not to invite the comparison but holy moly.
How about tears to make tears? Bonus points for getting someone to drink saltwater.
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