What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 49 - Mothering Forums

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#1441 of 1466 Old 05-24-2009, 03:50 AM
 
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Yet another!

I can hardly believe this happened. Today I took my 14-month-old to an event in town and she was riding in the Ergo on my back. This complete stranger walked up to my baby to say hi and she had this enormous cookie in her hand that she was eating. It was about half gone.

The woman smiles at my baby and then GAVE HER THE COOKIE. Ew! After she had been eating on it and the edges were wet and everything! I was just horror-struck. The woman seemed so nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I said "oh, I'm so sorry, she can't have that - she's allergic." I took it away from my daughter and gave it back to the woman.

:Puke
That is so nasty!! Why do people DO things like that? You handled it so nicely! I'm sure I wouldn't have been as delicate in that situation! :
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#1442 of 1466 Old 05-24-2009, 11:14 AM
 
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:Puke

Ewww!
I also am not sure I could have handled that so well. I tend to go blank when stupid things happen/are said
Good job!
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#1443 of 1466 Old 05-24-2009, 12:49 PM
 
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Alright, a good one...

My mother is very fond of "well, now you know what I went through with you!" and "It's nice to see that this comes back" whenever I tell her something DD has done/is doing (and never anything major either, just little stuff like being cranky or learning quickly (i.e. opening cabinets, etc)). She is a believer in the 7-fold theory.

Why can she not see, when complaining about my siblings, that she does the exact same thing to my granddad? I feel like saying "Look mom! Your behaviour with your parents is coming back at you through your children!"
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#1444 of 1466 Old 05-24-2009, 08:12 PM
 
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Alright, a good one...

My mother is very fond of "well, now you know what I went through with you!" and "It's nice to see that this comes back" whenever I tell her something DD has done/is doing (and never anything major either, just little stuff like being cranky or learning quickly (i.e. opening cabinets, etc)). She is a believer in the 7-fold theory.

Why can she not see, when complaining about my siblings, that she does the exact same thing to my granddad? I feel like saying "Look mom! Your behaviour with your parents is coming back at you through your children!"
AHHH My parents do this crap all the time.

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#1445 of 1466 Old 05-24-2009, 10:11 PM
 
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at whole foods i forgot our slings so was carrying my son 3 mos. in crook of one arm and pushing cart with other. he was really content and just taking everything in (believe me that is not always the case, he has his moments) but he was happy and i was happy. some lady said, what a "good" baby. i replied, "he's a happy guy right now," as i don't like the good/bad baby dichotomy- fussing or crying certainly doesn't mean he is bad, it means he is communicating a need or feeling. and she meant it as a compliment (or something) but i hate that implication. then she said something like, "you're training him well already." umm, what? i was shocked, i just stared blankly and walked away. i do not train him to do anything, just because he is happy and curious at the grocery store doesn't mean someone had to manipulate him to be that way.. ugh. then another lady said, "what a well behaved baby." god, he is a BABY, he doesn't "behave" and i do not have expectations of such. i wouldn't have been so bothered by the second comment if it hadn't come on the heels of the training comment, but really..

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#1446 of 1466 Old 05-26-2009, 02:09 PM
 
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Another food one here.

At a family bbq yesterday and my aunt (one of the few ppl in the world I would have trusted not to give dd food) spoon fed dd some baked bean juice (sauce, liquid, whatever it's called). I promptly "yelled" at my aunt (while making the formal announcement that no one was to give dd any food - this was the second time someone fed her something without my permission/knowledge ) and took dd away from her. Well, aunt just didn't understand why I was so upset because "she'll get it in a little while from you anyway".

So my aunt sees no difference between feeding a baby artificially flavored, super sweetened baked bean juice (at least it was the vegetarian kind ) and breast feeding that baby when the mother has eaten said baked beans. :

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#1447 of 1466 Old 05-26-2009, 03:09 PM
 
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then another lady said, "what a well behaved baby." god, he is a BABY, he doesn't "behave" and i do not have expectations of such. i wouldn't have been so bothered by the second comment if it hadn't come on the heels of the training comment, but really..
Oh man, I was visiting family this weekend and you'd never believe how many times someone said this to me! AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I was about to lose my mind!

I was also told that by holding my baby (who had been sitting in the carseat all.day.long and was sick and tired of it and really just wanted mommy time) that I was spoiling him.

Aunt Ruth: Are you spoiling that baby?
Me: Of Course! Why wouldn't I? (being sarcastic...everyone knows baby's can't be spoiled)
Aunt Ruth: You're going to regret holding him so much, b/c in a few months he's going to want to be held all the time.
My boyfriend: Maybe she's right, we should put him in the highchair.
Me: No, I want to hold him. You don't have to!
MIL: You can't spoil a baby. He's fine.

I never thought I would say this but: Thank God for my MIL!!! She held and rocked him when I couldn't or was touched out, and told me that it was perfectly fine to hold him all the time. She also reminded my BF that when he was a baby she held him all the time and he didn't turn out spoiled.

Oh man. I should mention that Aunt Ruth is 94 and never had kids. Aunt Pat is in her 60's and also never had her own kids (but does have stepchildren, I have no idea how old they were when she married)

Another gem:
Me: Lincoln and BF are asleep, its about time they both got a really good nap in.
Aunt Pat: If he sleeps now will he sleep tonight?
Me: Oh yeah, its been a long weekend, and he has quite a bit of catching up to do on sleep.
about 3 hours later
Aunt Pat: Are they still sleeping?
Me: Yup, I'm so glad they're getting a long nap!
Aunt Pat: But will the baby sleep tonight if he sleeps now? You should wake him up!
Me: He'll sleep just fine tonight, I really don't want to disturb them.

Ugh...Lincoln is 4.5months right now! The more sleep the better! I also hate it when people assume that b/c he's quiet he's happy. He's not a screamer at all (when he does scream its major cause for alarm!), but he's not ALWAYS happy either, just quiet. I think my and my BF are the only ones that know when he's cranky.
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#1448 of 1466 Old 05-26-2009, 03:22 PM
 
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My MIL said to me today (again, might I add) that I'm going to want to get a "carrier" (baby bucket) because he's going to keep getting big. I said, "For what?" and she replied, "For when you go out...like to restaurants. He's going to get too big to hold before he can sit up."
well, that's just silly b/c if they ARE big babies, they don't fit in the bucket car seats for long. my ds2 was out of his after Christmas (born end of September.) what would her suggestion be then? haha i'd like to know b/c the darn kid has always been squirmy. he sits in a high chair now but at 4 months, when he started reaching for everything and rolling, sitting with him on my lap would not have been very easy! however, there's NOTHING wrong with him on your lap if he's not the grabby type! very odd indeed for her to worry over that.

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#1449 of 1466 Old 05-26-2009, 06:55 PM
 
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Exactly the point! DD has totally had Kraft on occasion (well not anymore due to her dairy sensitivity) and I wouldn't think that was a big deal. I just didn't get the whole "Kraft > Jarred food for a 7 month old" equation. Does not compute. lol
and at 7 months, wouldn't it be easy to choke on Kraft Dinner? my little guy is 8 months and he can't even handle Mum Mums or baby cookies or anything remotely solid. not to mention that most babies don't have dairy before they are a year old and there's all kinds of it added to KD....?

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#1450 of 1466 Old 05-26-2009, 07:06 PM
 
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and at 7 months, wouldn't it be easy to choke on Kraft Dinner? my little guy is 8 months and he can't even handle Mum Mums or baby cookies or anything remotely solid. not to mention that most babies don't have dairy before they are a year old and there's all kinds of it added to KD....?
The preservatives and sodium alone make it inappropriate food. If you are going to give your kids mac and cheese at that age, buy some macaroni and cheddar, milk, and butter, and make mac and cheese! It's not that hard. Or at least buy the organic boxed kind not that scary neon orange powder stuff. They will get plenty of it when they get older, no need to push it on them so young.
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#1451 of 1466 Old 05-26-2009, 07:52 PM
 
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The preservatives and sodium alone make it inappropriate food. If you are going to give your kids mac and cheese at that age, buy some macaroni and cheddar, milk, and butter, and make mac and cheese! It's not that hard. Or at least buy the organic boxed kind not that scary neon orange powder stuff. They will get plenty of it when they get older, no need to push it on them so young.
no kidding! i'd much prefer jarred baby food!!

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#1452 of 1466 Old 05-27-2009, 12:08 AM
 
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buy some macaroni and cheddar, milk, and butter, and make mac and cheese! It's not that hard.
Well... it was hard for me. LOL. I tried to make some from scratch a couple of weeks ago, but was too lazy to look up a recipe, so I ended up with some hot milky butter w/ a big undissolvable lump of cheese and some cooked pasta in it. LOL.

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#1453 of 1466 Old 05-27-2009, 12:28 AM
 
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my FIL is always good for a few.

FIL: yeah he (DP) hit his sister and i smacked him good for that. then we found out later she provoked the whole thing.

me: you hit him because he hit someone? wheres the logic in that?

FIL: I'm the parent thats all the logic i need

me: yeah i guess you dont have to pass an intelligence test to procreate.

another time - Fil is big on the whole training thing.

FIL- you have to train them thats your job as parents

Me- hes a person not a golden retriever

FIL - thats your job you have to train him to behave your his parents

ME- yes, us , meaning not you... as in not your business

LATER ds is reaching for something from FIL

FIL- say please

DS cannot talk yet... he reaches and reaches and starts to cry.

me: he cant say please. he cant talk yet so just give it to him please.

FIL- no its my watch he cant have it

i get DS from him

ME - so you make him cry because you want to say a word he cant say to get something you have no intention of giving him? we have been through this. my kid, my rules if you don't like it you dont have to see him.

FIL: jeez relax



later FIL starts talking about training again. he looks at DP and then stops and says ' i should probably just shut up' Dp nods.

ME- see its never to late to teach an old dog new tricks!
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#1454 of 1466 Old 05-27-2009, 12:35 AM
 
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o and this one made me furious. MIL and FIL took ds out to lunch one day when i was sick he was 4 mos old. this was 12 months ago. he tells me last week that they couldnt get the carseat in right so they just tied it down. i about lost it. he was going on about how safe it was not realizing that he was lucky i wasnt armed. my MIL jumps in and says hes just kidding he likes to tease you. she was full of it.. she knows he is already on thin ice with me and she was worried i wouldnt let them see him at all. i am fine with her but hes not allowed to be alone with him ever. they dont babysit or anything because i dont trust him.

i know they tied that car seat in... i cant believe it.. they should not ahve told me it was fine if it wasnt. even thought it was over a year ago i was shaking when he told me.. the what ifs almost killed me. he talk about how they used to all pile in with out seat belts and then slam on the breaks for fun. i said they also used to regularly perform lobotomies but we don't to that anymore... to bad to.. i think he could use one.
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#1455 of 1466 Old 05-27-2009, 01:00 AM
 
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So here's one that doesn't involve food.

My mother, who lives 3000 miles away and is out visiting for a few weeks, told the following story about my sister at the family bbq yesterday.

"Well at least your dd1 (referring to my niece) knows the difference between her left and her right. When S (my sister) was little, she never knew. There was one time when I was teaching her to drive and I said, "make a left turn here" and S cut across 3 lanes of traffic to make the right. I started yelling at her and finally reached across and grabbed her left hand. I held it up and said "LEFT. I said LEFT turn. This is your LEFT hand!" and I slammed her hand into the window so hard that she screamed.

I did that because her father fell out of a tree when he was 4 yrs old and broke his left wrist. And he always said that the only reason he knew his left from his right was because of the scar."

And she was so proud of herself, telling this story! (Yeah, we suffered a lot of abuse at her hands as children, and she has never seen anything wrong with any of it. )

But the real kicker is that the entire story (except the part about my dad falling & breaking his wrist) was a complete lie!!!!! My sister just looked at my mom like she had 3 heads and said "that never happened". Ugh, I'm really not sure if it's better or worse because my mother made it up. Thank god she lives so far away.

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#1456 of 1466 Old 05-30-2009, 09:56 PM
 
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Mine son is 6 weeks old and I have already had some fun dealing with my MIL.
Asperger's/ADD/ADHD is hereditary on both sides of our family, so most of time she just doesn't realise what she is doing is inappropriate.

She has saved everything, so she has brought down a ton of stuff from the attic.
She wanted us to use my DH's car seat from 1984. A bunch of blankets and clothes. We said no to the clothes because they were brown with age, but I have caught her using the blankets w/out washing the first.

My BIL's 18th birthday/ graduation dinner. We were getting ready to leave for the restaurant, DS had been fairly colic-y all day and she was holding him for me. She feels and says "He feels warm, not like he has a fever, just a little warm. I am going to take him outside." I thought he was a little under dressed for going outside but the most he would be outside for was 2-3 minutes. He sneezed (he does it a lot) so she decided not to take him outside. We left a few minutes later, and I was very glad she didn't take him outside because it was a good 15 degrees cooler than I thought it was. When we got back after dinner, she was holding him some more, and walked outside with him w/out a socks or a blanket. It was cold at 7:30 and now it was almost 12pm. What's crazy is my MIL is always cold if it is less than 90 degrees outside and finds 110 degree day "perfect".

She tried to "help" me breastfeed when DS was 4 days old by twisting his head to get him to latch on.
Whenever she changes his diaper, she comes back with his clothes off or unsnapped. She also knew we were going to cloth diaper, and went to Costco and bought 2 -256 packs of diapers.

This one is just funny about how she doesn't listen. We were talking about when DS is going to start solids. We have decided on avocado, egg yolk or grass fed beef for first foods. My DH was joking about bacon being his first food, and I said "No, we are going with a different kind of meat, not bacon" MIL pipes in "Like apple or pear!" Everyone at the table laughed.

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#1457 of 1466 Old 05-31-2009, 02:23 PM
 
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Another gem from the inlaws:


FIL: Isn't there another spray park downtown?
Me: Yeah, but it's right on the edge of the main road, so it's not safe for kids, in my opinion.
MIL: Well, parents should WATCH their children
Me: Yeah, your right, but why take your kid somewhere if you are constantly going to have to say no?
MIL: That's part of being a parent.
Me: So, taking your child somewhere unsafe so you can say no, is part of being a parent?
MIL: Saying no is, and keeping them safe
Me: Right. So not taking a child to a spray park that is literally on a street corner would fall into that category of keeping them safe.
MIL: No.
Me: What?
MIL: No.
Me: Alright then.
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#1458 of 1466 Old 05-31-2009, 03:59 PM
 
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Another gem from the inlaws:


FIL: Isn't there another spray park downtown?
Me: Yeah, but it's right on the edge of the main road, so it's not safe for kids, in my opinion.
MIL: Well, parents should WATCH their children
Me: Yeah, your right, but why take your kid somewhere if you are constantly going to have to say no?
MIL: That's part of being a parent.
Me: So, taking your child somewhere unsafe so you can say no, is part of being a parent?
MIL: Saying no is, and keeping them safe
Me: Right. So not taking a child to a spray park that is literally on a street corner would fall into that category of keeping them safe.
MIL: No.
Me: What?
MIL: No.
Me: Alright then.
That reminds me of my mother (I think I posted this in here earlier) when she set up an unstable table with an antique lamp on it and told me to "just tell her no" if DD tried to climb on it. Umm, how about move the dangerous mess somewhere else?

FTR, the table ended up falling, and the lamp broke, when the CAT jumped on the table later. Way to go, mom!

ETA: If that logic actually worked we wouldn't need outlet covers, cabinet locks, doorknob covers, etc. We buy them because "no" doesn't always work! Besides the fact that I don't want to run around behind my child telling her "no" all day long. I'd like for her to actually have some freedom without worrying she is going to get hurt.
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#1459 of 1466 Old 05-31-2009, 09:33 PM
 
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ETA: If that logic actually worked we wouldn't need outlet covers, cabinet locks, doorknob covers, etc. We buy them because "no" doesn't always work! Besides the fact that I don't want to run around behind my child telling her "no" all day long. I'd like for her to actually have some freedom without worrying she is going to get hurt.
nak


and i'd like to get stuff done during the day and not have to shadow my child every second

eta: and doesn't that kind of thinking set them up for failure??

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#1460 of 1466 Old 06-01-2009, 04:15 PM
 
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nak


and i'd like to get stuff done during the day and not have to shadow my child every second

eta: and doesn't that kind of thinking set them up for failure??
Totally. I find the more I say no, the more our day degenerates into tears and frustration on both ends. I much prefer to take DS somewhere where I don't have to helicopter parent, where I know he can explore, be happy, and I'm not constantly signing or saying "no". It makes life better for both of us!
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#1461 of 1466 Old 06-01-2009, 08:18 PM
 
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Someone told DH "let the baby cry, its good for his lungs". He won't tell me who said it though. I think he is afraid I will chew out whoever said it and embarrass him. Its nauseating that some people believe this garbage.
A friend of mine (and her husband) would tell me that ALL THE TIME when Andrew was a baby. I tried to explain that that's just stupid and doesn't even make sense but it fell on deaf ears every time. They're also big fans of "if you keep co sleeping, he'll never leave your bed"... both their kids were in their bed until after 10 years because they kept trying to kick them out. My DD was out a little after three because she wanted to and DS will be ready when he's ready too.

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#1462 of 1466 Old 06-03-2009, 11:33 PM
 
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Just letting everyone know I started a new non-server-killing thread to replace this one here:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1093966

:

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#1463 of 1466 Old 10-21-2009, 05:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by angelamariebee View Post
Haha, this reminds me. When bringing DD home from the hospital, I wanted to take her out of the carseat and carry her into the house. We lived on the 16th floor of this huge apartment building. Anyway, DH said, "What if there are kids playing in the lobby and one runs into you? I think you shouldn't take her out of the carseat."

Whaa?? lol. Apparently it's not safe to carry newborns in your arms.
This reminds me of what happened about two years ago. We had a freeze and the ground was covered with ice. I was carrying DS so he wouldn't slip.

I got to the handicap ramp at the street and slid all the way down it. I ended up landing really hard but I never let go of DS and he was fine (just a bit frightened).

I think that just proves that mother's arms can be the safest place for a child (barring high speed vehicular impact, of course )

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#1464 of 1466 Old 10-22-2009, 12:13 AM
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Sorry, tired and dorky here, posting to the wrong thread.
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#1465 of 1466 Old 10-22-2009, 11:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Agatha_Ann View Post
I met a woman recently at one of my kids activities. I was nursing DS3 and she was giving her two week old a bottle. She started to tell me that she couldn't breastfeed. Apparently she did with her first baby, but 6 weeks in, she woke up totally soaked in milk and she never made any more

Yesterday, I was in the grocery store and I had my baby in the sling. A lady stopped me and told me that she has a baby too, but its in the car : I must have given her a strange look because then she said, "But my baby is a goat" I guess she is going to make a sling for her goat now It was funny.
I seriously would have asked "you gave birth to a goat!?!?"

Check out my business, Pangaia Metaphysical Store, and radio blog, Pagan Musings.
I'm a witchy mama to DS ('06) and DD ('10) with DH, Stormie, a heathen homemaker daddy.

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#1466 of 1466 Old 10-22-2009, 03:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kappa View Post
The preservatives and sodium alone make it inappropriate food. If you are going to give your kids mac and cheese at that age, buy some macaroni and cheddar, milk, and butter, and make mac and cheese! It's not that hard. Or at least buy the organic boxed kind not that scary neon orange powder stuff. They will get plenty of it when they get older, no need to push it on them so young.
Last night I decided bug (DS - 3 1/2) had had enough stuff thrown at him this week, so we had a "picnic". Our picnics are a towel on the living room floor, bug's movie (educational songs), and food of his choice. He wanted hot dogs and mac'n'cheese. Not the best choice, but not the worst. So we went to the grocery store to get the stuff. It's been raining, sleeting and snowing for almost 36 hours. Bug told the checkout lady we were having a picnic and she said "I hope you aren't going outside to eat!"

Um, duh?
I can't entirely blame her though; some people in this town might be stupid enough to do just that.

Check out my business, Pangaia Metaphysical Store, and radio blog, Pagan Musings.
I'm a witchy mama to DS ('06) and DD ('10) with DH, Stormie, a heathen homemaker daddy.

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