What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 01:26 AM
 
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Just a post for everyone who gets the "babies should cry" or "you're going to spoil him/her" remarks. I have the perfect reply.

"Well, in OUR house, we treat others the way we want to be treated - with respect."

It makes people stop and think about what they've said.

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#122 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 03:19 AM
 
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This is BY FAR not the worst I've heard, but so stupid...my DH is Filipino, and I am white. When DS was born, by the 2nd day, he was getting pretty jaundiced, and the nurse mentioned it and that he might need treatment...and MIL (also Filipino) said, "No, he's fine, it's just because he's Oriental." :

Mama to 2 sweet gorgeous children, a 4-year-old DS and a 1-year-old DD.
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#123 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 06:44 AM
 
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i don't know about this being the dumbest, but it was most annoying to me

"this baby shouldn't be so attached to you, she's too close to you" - courtesy of mil...

total screwball, wtf of a remark..
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#124 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 09:01 AM
 
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We're on WIC and our next door neighbor is as well. I get the breastfeeding package (for obvious reasons) and she formula feeds (never BF'd.) I've been having some issues with BFing and she tells me I should get the formula package and stock up "just in case." I politely explained that we need the food more than we'd ever need formula and if I need formula I'll just buy a can Her husband came over yesterday after he borrowed our phone and asked me "Is that a nebulizer or something?" I replied "No it's a breastpump." He got this big embarrased grin on his face and kind of chuckled uncomfortably all the way out the door.

They're really nice people and I BF'd over at their apt. all the time with no issue, they just don't know anything about BFing lol

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#125 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 10:02 AM
 
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DD had her 12 month wbv a couple weeks ago and her ped, who is fully aware we are still very much breastfeeding, told me it's "very important she drink at least 12 ounces of whole (cow's) milk everyday." Now why on earth would that be better for DD than MY milk (since it would probably replace some of it, right?)?? Whatever...when it comes to sleep and breastfeeding I try not to discuss them with him or quickly change the subject.
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#126 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 11:20 AM
 
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DD had her 12 month wbv a couple weeks ago and her ped, who is fully aware we are still very much breastfeeding, told me it's "very important she drink at least 12 ounces of whole (cow's) milk everyday." Now why on earth would that be better for DD than MY milk (since it would probably replace some of it, right?)?? Whatever...when it comes to sleep and breastfeeding I try not to discuss them with him or quickly change the subject.
My DS's old ped said the VERY same thing to me at his 12 mo. WBV! This was right after I said he nursed at least every 3-4 hours around the clock. She tried to scare me by saying he would develop osteopenia and even gave me a sheet on the "importance of calcium." Whatever! We never went back there and now see a much more knowledgeable family practice doc.

Mama to my beautiful boys born 6/29/06, 7/29/08, & 11/09/10.
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#127 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 02:50 PM
 
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My DS's old ped said the VERY same thing to me at his 12 mo. WBV! This was right after I said he nursed at least every 3-4 hours around the clock. She tried to scare me by saying he would develop osteopenia and even gave me a sheet on the "importance of calcium." Whatever! We never went back there and now see a much more knowledgeable family practice doc.
Got, I am so thrilled that our Ped even told me not to worry, he doesn't NEED other milk since we're nursing at 13 months, and certainly noy "bovine", I just love the man for saying, he does not need cow's milk. And he has no issue with DS eating almost no "meat", I told him what he eats, and was happy to hear all the other sources of protein and calcium...

Having said that, I love my inlaws: But what the heck is the concern? "Does he eat an assortment of meats?" ASSORTMENT?
DS was teething heavily on the weekend during a weekend and was refusing al solids, just nursed and nursed. FIL was CONSTANTLY asking if he needed water, constantly filled up cup with water and constantly put it in front of DS. It really started to annoy me. He did not eat any solids and if he nurses all day long I don't want him to fill up his stomache with water. He did not want water, he was happily nursing and FIL kept pushing the stupid water. AAAAAAARG. DS would be hungry all night if I let him drink all that water only.
I said to him, he just nursed and wants to nurse again, my FIL just does not get what breastfeeding means, don't know what he thinks is coming out of my boob.
MIL was asking my husband how much "milk" he gets. I came over joined and played dumb, honestly I was getting annoyed inside. I said he is having plenty of milk and grinned. My MIL understood, nodded and said: But what about cow's milk?

WTF is going on in people when they refuse to accept that the best nourishment for a human baby is human milk, not the milk of another species???

And the thing is that my Inlaws have had pleeeeeeeenty of info, now that their grandchild is 13 months old- they still don't get it.

I just wanna hit my head against the wall, despite information believe just refuse to let it sink it, it is discouraging. I noticed that the generation 50 plus is comletely immune to really understand, despite all efforts to educate. You can talk until you knots in your tongue- and right after it they drop sh** like that on you.
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#128 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 03:13 PM
 
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I wouldn't be around second-hand smoke when I was pregnant. That's not good for a fetus or a mom. Or did I read this post wrong?
Ahem, that's what I was saying...didn't say I actually said I set foot into that smoke filled bar. I was just shocked how the husband "educated" his way wife that there's no reason why I should't come- because according to him the baby's in my belly and "won't get any smoke". Right, the guy obviously never heard of second hand smoke.
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#129 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 05:46 PM
 
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Just finished reading all of this and am amazed at how many people think it's acceptable to let a baby cry. Makes me feel I should be easier on my parents--they were once babies who were probably left to cry. :
My mother unapologetically tells of putting my bassinet in a semi-soundproofed room so that my crying wouldn't disturb the rest of the family. Now I understand those nightmares about the white acoustical tiles on the ceiling that make me wake up screaming, "I don't want to die alone! Please don't let me die alone!"

Don't get me wrong--my babies do cry, even the easygoing ds2 who has been going to work with me since he was two weeks old and certainly the angst-ridden adolescent whose insurance doesn't cover treatment for clinical depression that probably wouldn't help anyway, but they never have to cry alone.
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#130 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 07:42 PM
 
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My all-time favorite is the question:

so is she a good baby?

Ummmmm, what????? Aren't all babies good? I was at the girls' dad's house visiting with them(since I won't let him take the baby yet since she's just 3 months) and his grandma stopped by to see the kids and asked me that. I looked surprised I guess and slightly confused because she rephrased to ask if she slept well at night. I shocked her when I answered that Gracie woke just about every 2 hours to nurse but that it wasn't a huge deal since she sleeps right ON her food source anyway. They make nice pillows apparently.

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#131 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 08:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by angelachristin View Post
This is BY FAR not the worst I've heard, but so stupid...my DH is Filipino, and I am white. When DS was born, by the 2nd day, he was getting pretty jaundiced, and the nurse mentioned it and that he might need treatment...and MIL (also Filipino) said, "No, he's fine, it's just because he's Oriental." :
Wow! I can't believe she said that!! I was always taught that Oriental is
RUGS and FOOD and PEOPLE are ASIAN.
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#132 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 08:08 PM
 
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When dd was a tiny baby, a friend of mine said to me, "Oh, I ran into your MIL downtown last week. We were talking about you, and I said Doesn't the baby look so much like Juliacat? And she said NO, the baby looks like ME!!!!! and I just thought that was a very strange thing to say." (friend is MIL's age and has a DIL and grandbabies of her own)

A friend of mine told me that his own six-week-old was crying "because he's just being willful." I thought it was B.S. at the time but since I wasn't a parent yet myself, I didn't think I could say anything.

People have said to me, "I could never cloth diaper, it's too much work." I'm like, "You can't use a washing machine?" and they're like *blink*

Oh yeah...and my niece who's my age...might want to get a clue before she has children of her own. When dd was a year old and nursing around the clock every 45 minutes and I was going insane from sleep deprivation, my niece first wanted to know "What's WRONG with her that she doesn't sleep all night?" and then "Can't you just go in another room when she cries?" And she was criticizing her SIL for not breastfeeding and I said "I think she probably didn't breastfeed because she didn't have any support--I wouldn't have been successful either without the help I had" and my niece said "How can one person possibly help another person breastfeed? What is there besides sticking the baby to the boob?" Oy, oy, oy.

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#133 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 08:10 PM
 
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WTF is going on in people when they refuse to accept that the best nourishment for a human baby is human milk, not the milk of another species???
I have some theories about that.

1. They can't see the milk going in, so it doesn't count as liquid/nutrition.

2. They can't participate in feeding the child, so it doesn't count as liquid/nutrition.

3. So many of the previous generations have little or no personal experience with breast feeding that there's some kind of mental block about it. Kinda like how my very intelligent father can't seem to grasp when to double click with the mouse and a computer and when not to. He double clicks everything, every time, no matter how often I explain it.

Oh and so I say something on topic: My GMIL swears her milk turned to water when her daughter was 5 months old and I need to keep an eye out in case it happens to me. She truly believes her breasts stopped producing milk and started producing water.

Kristy, wife to Josh proud mama to Katie: since 3/08 and Emma since 8/12.

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#134 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 10:15 PM
 
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My ped won the award last week.....we are doing sel/del vax with ds (now 3m) so for this visit I said we were only doing one vax and waiting on Polio (if we do it at all). She read me the roit act, told me that people like me were the reason there seeing Polio again (um, no) and then when I asked a question about dd's seasonal allergies (she's 4y) she said "so you're willing to consider giving your daughter Claritin to prevent serious allergies from turning into bronchitis like it did last year, but you're not willing to vax your son agains Polio....that's quite hypocricital....think about it".

Well doctor, I've been thinking about it ever since, and it still makes no sense and has officially qualified as "the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me about parenting stuff". Congrats!

Happy Mommy to one amazing girl (6y) and one sweet boy (2y), and wife to DH since 7/03 : :
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#135 of 1466 Old 04-07-2008, 11:09 PM
 
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Mamas, every now and again I have to come on this thread and remind you all that namecalling, no matter how well-deserved, is against the User Agreement.

So, on the namecalling, please. Thanks!

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#136 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 02:14 AM
 
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My in laws have discovered that my 20mo ds will sit in front of the TV show "Little Bear" for hours, if he's allowed. (They discovered this while I was not around, believe you me!) Now, every time we come over they instantly put "Little Bear" on. They've even taped hours of episodes for us to take home.

I feel like saying, "Great idea! Why play with him or talk to him, when you can just turn on the Amazing Brainwashing Machine and turn him into a walleyed zombie all afternoon? No wonder my husband never goes outside!"

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#137 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 12:15 PM
 
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My ped won the award last week.....we are doing sel/del vax with ds (now 3m) so for this visit I said we were only doing one vax and waiting on Polio (if we do it at all). She read me the roit act, told me that people like me were the reason there seeing Polio again (um, no) and then when I asked a question about dd's seasonal allergies (she's 4y) she said "so you're willing to consider giving your daughter Claritin to prevent serious allergies from turning into bronchitis like it did last year, but you're not willing to vax your son agains Polio....that's quite hypocricital....think about it".

Well doctor, I've been thinking about it ever since, and it still makes no sense and has officially qualified as "the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me about parenting stuff". Congrats!
NICE! REAL NICE!
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#138 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 12:37 PM
 
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Ahem, that's what I was saying...didn't say I actually said I set foot into that smoke filled bar. I was just shocked how the husband "educated" his way wife that there's no reason why I should't come- because according to him the baby's in my belly and "won't get any smoke". Right, the guy obviously never heard of second hand smoke.
I'm sorry! I kept reading it over and over...


Brianna, mom to my always naked and singing Faye (9/07) and my chubby baby Bronwen (10/10).
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#139 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 02:39 PM
 
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This is BY FAR not the worst I've heard, but so stupid...my DH is Filipino, and I am white. When DS was born, by the 2nd day, he was getting pretty jaundiced, and the nurse mentioned it and that he might need treatment...and MIL (also Filipino) said, "No, he's fine, it's just because he's Oriental." :
When I was born the nurses thought I was getting jaundiced and my momma told them "No, she's Mexican. She has that undertone." I was never jaundice, I've just got that olive undertone. If I don't pick up a tan I have a yellow/green undertone. When I put my arm next to The Man's arm I look yellow, he looks pink.

* Someone told The Man that we had to get rid of our cats since they "Steal the baby's air." His response was "Are we really having this conversation?"

* My best friend and I were deciding where to have lunch. I have no cravings and she's on a very particular diet. I told her to choose since I really don't care were we eat as long as I eat. She said "No, you have to eat what you're craving or your baby will be born with an open mouth" Huh?
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#140 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 03:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was never jaundice, I've just got that olive undertone. If I don't pick up a tan I have a yellow/green undertone. When I put my arm next to The Man's arm I look yellow, he looks pink.
My ancestry is entirely northern European, mostly from the UK, and I've got definite yellow undertones. I blush pink, but that's about it.

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#141 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 03:50 PM
 
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* My best friend and I were deciding where to have lunch. I have no cravings and she's on a very particular diet. I told her to choose since I really don't care were we eat as long as I eat. She said "No, you have to eat what you're craving or your baby will be born with an open mouth" Huh?

An open mouth??

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#142 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 05:57 PM
 
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#143 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 05:57 PM
 
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An open mouth??
Yeah, I have no clue either. She's half crazy. That's why were friends.
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#144 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 06:37 PM
 
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Someone told The Man that we had to get rid of our cats since they "Steal the baby's air."
Oh! Oh yeah! Someone told dh and me that when I was pregnant!! The kicker? The person who told us that was a chain-smoker!!!!!

Which reminds me of other stupid things people said to me while I was pregnant: "Oh, you HAVE to find out the baby's gender. I would DIE if I didn't know!" Um, no, you wouldn't.

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#145 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 06:50 PM
 
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3. So many of the previous generations have little or no personal experience with breast feeding that there's some kind of mental block about it. Kinda like how my very intelligent father can't seem to grasp when to double click with the mouse and a computer and when not to. He double clicks everything, every time, no matter how often I explain it.
Man this is making me crack up! My MIL does this and it drives me bonkers! I try to explain but she still does it...laughup
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#146 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 06:51 PM
 
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I know! It really threw me... I mean, what a weird thing to say. Baby kittens and puppies and so on don't drink water, do they? And we don't see them dehydrating all over the place. Plus, little Rowan isn't even back up to her birthweight yet--well, maybe she is, she's being weighed tomorrow--anyway she certainly isn't obese, so why would I want to fill her little tummy up with something which contains no nutrients or calories? Very odd...
I think this also can come from before MD's recommended breastfeeding for 6 months or longer before introducing foods. I was born in 1970, never had BM, in addition to formula I was given cereal at 2 weeks, via spoon. Water was thought to be important then.
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#147 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 07:31 PM
 
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My DS is almost 4 months old, and we found out the other day that he has reflux. We're trying Zantac, and we're still working on how to give him his medicine without spitting it out.

I am also eliminating dairy from my diet for a while to see if that helps with his reflux.

Anyways, my mom was over last night when I was giving him his meds, and I had JUST finished telling her that I was going to try the no dairy thing. She was eating ice cream at the time (caramel and pecan), and saw that I was having a hard time getting DS to swallow his medicine. She offered to GIVE HIM SOME OF HER ICE CREAM to make him want to swallow his medicine! Yeah, lets give my 4 month old dairy AND nuts to make him feel better!



I think I posted a while back too that she wanted to give him some of her Mcdonalds oreo shake.

I just don't get it!
I went through a similar thing with my MIL. We went to her house for dinner and DS hadn't been diagnosed with reflux or colic yet. He was 7 weeks at the time. I was doing an elimination diet and explained to her several times that I was not having any dairy at all.

In the middle of dinner DH and I could see DS working up to a screaming fit (he would always make a little "warning" grunt before crying that DH and I came to recognize). I went over to pick him up and try to calm him before he got upset. DH's grandfather started lecturing me on how DS was spoiled and had me wrapped around his little finger. I was annoyed by this but let it go.

Sure enough, DS launched into a horrible screaming fit. I think it was one of his worst nights to date. I did everything I could to calm him. MIL kept insisting that I hand him over to her and go eat dessert. Previous to this I heard her announce that the dessert she had made contained cream cheese and sour cream. I did not want dessert, nor did I want to hand my child to her so I tried to be polite and decline. She kept insisting over and over again that I eat this dessert and give her my child who was completely out of his mind screaming at this point. Finally, I had to be rude and repeat how I wasn't having dairy and could not eat her dessert because it affected DS and made him scream like he was at that very moment. She got all upset at this and made a big production of hunting through her cabinets for something I could eat. She really didn't understand that dessert wasn't the issue at hand. DH and I left soon after. Arg!

I could go on and on about my MIL. When DS was 2 weeks old she called DH and TOLD him that she was coming to babysit that weekend because we needed a break from the baby. Um, no. We needed to be left alone so that we could bond as a family and rest.

The fact that we never let DS cry if it can be avoided really upsets her. One day she came over and was holding him. He was clearly hungry and desperately rooting. DH and I repeatedly said "he's hungry and looking for food". She ignored us as he tried latching onto her arm she laughed and said "there's no food in my sweater, silly". She WOULD NOT give him back.
DS got more and more upset and eventually started to cry. Once he really got going she looked at him and said "oh, so you really CAN cry" and then she handed him back to me so that I could feed him.
That evil woman ignored every indication that her grandchild was hungry JUST so that she could prove to herself that he could cry. He's a baby, duh. He knows how to cry.

Her current upset in life is that DS won't take a bottle which means that we can't leave him with her and go away for the weekend. He's 4 months old. We wouldn't leave him with her even if he did take a bottle.

Don't get me started on my FIL who bought our then 10 week old DS a bottle of honey for valentines day so that we can dip his pacifier in it as a treat. Where do I even BEGIN with that??
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#148 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 11:18 PM
 
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sorry double post

Mamma to dd1 3/8/07, one 9.5.08, and dd2 9/9/09
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#149 of 1466 Old 04-08-2008, 11:20 PM
 
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I thought I would chime in since we are talking about babies not looking like the parents. DS does have traits from both of us but I am white and DH is black so he is tan with the best features from both of us. We were at the park one day and a random mom started talking to me and saying how cute DS was. I said thanks and continued to play with him. This is the conversation:

Her – Is he Spanish?
Me – no. I am white and My DH is black
Her – but his father is Spanish?
Me – no. My DH is black.
Her – Your DH must be mad he’s not the father. That baby is Spanish.
Me – He is the father. I’m married and DH is the father and he is black.
Her – oh so you got married first then had a baby with your husband. That isn’t normal.
Me – hmmmm (totally speechless)

I am still in awe at this conversation. It was about 3 weeks ago and I can’t stop laughing about it.
That's crazy! I don't know what I would do.

I don't have anything that I can think of that is really outrageous. My dad's girlfriend was incredulous that I was still pumping at 10 months. She didn't think my body could make milk that long.

We have heard some silly things about bilingual babies. My partner is from Italy and so he only speaks in Italian to ds and I only in English. People (often medical people) say she will be confused and only teach her one at a time.
So many people will ask me if she understands both. I answer yes we speak to her in both. Oh so she will learn both languages? Yes it would probably be nice if she could communicate with both sides of the family don't you think?

DP mom always asks if dd eats and if she likes the babysitter. They call twice a freaking week! SHe has been going the the babysitter for almost a year and probably like sher more than she likes me some days. I really have to hold back syaing some smart answer back to that one.Yes we feed her.

For awhile when dd was 10 months or so, she would always ask if she ate meat. She doesn't like it and its really not important since she gets protein and iron from other things.

Every time she calls she asks if we took dd to the doctor. DP is like NO we don't take her to the doctor just for sake of going. She is not ill and we haven't gone! DD has been walking for 2 months and literally every phone call she asks if dd is walking. It is all I can do not to answer, no she was for a while but we told her to stop.

Mamma to dd1 3/8/07, one 9.5.08, and dd2 9/9/09
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#150 of 1466 Old 04-09-2008, 12:11 AM
 
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I got a doozy today, from dh of all people. Earlier today, dd choked on a piece of mango. She was fine, and I had her out of her high chair and upside down on my lap and she threw it up before I even registered what I was doing. It was just an automatic instinct driven response. Earlier tonight, dh was playing with her and said she needed her nose wiped, and since I was in the kitchen right next to the tissues, I was about to bring him one for her. But first, I was getting her a little bit of vitamin c to help fight off her cold. So I give her that, then go back to get the tissue. Then he complains that I "don't have the same sense of urgency" to hurry and wipe her nose than I do to stop her choking. Yes, really. He had trouble understanding why I immediately jumped to rescue dd from a *life threatening emergency* but might dawdle an extra 30 seconds to wipe her nose. (Its not like it was dripping into her mouth or anything)

dd (7) ds (5), ds (2) &3rdtri.gif hbac.gif and the furbabies cat.gifZeus, Dobby, Luna, & Ravenclaw
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