What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-11-2008, 05:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Collinsky View Post
My mom works in daycare (and she's the kind of woman that you WANT working in daycare, if you need to use it ) and she has an endless supply of Dumb Things People Say. The all time topper though was the woman who OWNED the daycare my mom was working at at the time who said with great authority that if you do not start a baby on solids before they are 7 months old, they *do no learn to swallow.*
I had a dr tell me that. At 5 months she was in the hospital and the ped asked me if I had baby food with me or if he should ask the nurses to bring us some. I said she wasn't eating food yet and he told me I better hurry up, otherwise her mouth wouldn't learn how to chew. Poor girly ate 2 1/2 hard shelled tacos last night, even without eating solids at 5 months old!

Beru, when I was about 2 weeks post partum with ds, my mil was over visiting. I had a csection, after 18 hours of labor, was discharged, but ds wasn't for a week, so I was hauling my butt up and down 3 flights of stairs for those 2 weeks and out to the hospital 3 times a day to nurse him. I was exhausted. That woman asked me to get her a glass of water, since I was up, while I hobbled my poor wracked body to the bathroom. She did not get water.
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Old 05-11-2008, 05:18 PM
 
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The water thing is for ffed babes. Even the Sears' Baby Book recommends water for babies who are 100% ffed - they need a bottle of water a day.
Just btw, this is out-of-date advice - I think formulas used to be thicker and so they advised extra bottles of water. These days, formula is thinner and so ffed babies don't need extra water either.
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Old 05-11-2008, 07:08 PM
 
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i gotb one the other day. evie was asleep in Ergo, some woman in the school yard asked me "how do you know she's alright in there" and looked at me like i was crazy when i said "well i can feel her breathing against my back, there is a gap between me n her shes not flat against me" she looked like she didnt get it.

i am only one i know to babywear longterm(Evie is 7 month and will be carried for a while to come)

kiz
I got a lot of that to. I still sometimes use a sling to carry almost 4 year old DD. I got people telling me that a stroller would be much easier, or when she was younger, that I should carry her in a car seat. I was also told that she would never learn how to walk.

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The all time topper though was the woman who OWNED the daycare my mom was working at at the time who said with great authority that if you do not start a baby on solids before they are 7 months old, they *do no learn to swallow.*
I had a doctor threaten to call CPS on me because my 13 month old baby still did not eat much solid food. She had a few bites here and there but mostly just breastmilk. The doctor told me that I should force her to eat if I dont want her ending up with an eating disorder... oh and was over 30 pounds at the time.

Another one was from a 17-18 year old girl who had a 4 month old baby. She was somehow at my house (her kid was not with her) because her boyfriend knew my then roommate. DD had just turned 1 and I mentioned that she had never been more than a few feet away from me since she was born. The girl had a shocked and puzzled look on her face and said :So, you ve never left the house, not even to go to the store down the street for a whole year??

While I was pregnant, I was on the subway, minding my business. Some elderly woman smiled at me and said : You are so beautiful. You look you cant be more than 14. That pale skin and sweet face! You are just like the Virgin Mary.
That is by far the funniest thing anyone has ever said to me (except perhaps the social worker coming up to me and asking me if I lost my parents when I was 18, at a bus station. He thought I was 11 or 12.)

Single mom to E (2004) and D (2010)
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Old 05-11-2008, 07:17 PM
 
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DH and I had met friends for dinner tonight and we were all standing outside the restaurant afterward. A lady looked at DD who was playing on the ground and said to me, "No socks?!"

We live in California. It was over 60 degrees out. She wasn't cold. I said, "It's okay."

Lady: "But it's cold. She should be wearing socks."
Me: "It's not cold. She's fine."

LOL..I have been told multiple times that my baby needed a hat. We were indoors, I took it off and put it in my bag, but thanks anyways..sheesh
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Old 05-11-2008, 07:44 PM
 
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Oooh, I have a lot. LOL

Said to me by a co-worker after eavesdropping on my friend and I discussing my DS's birth defects: "Well you waited forever to go to the doctor."

Me: -blink- "Yeeeeahh, because being weighed, having my blood pressure taken, and peeing in a cup would have magically prevented my baby's brain for forming improperly." (Not to mention that my first OB appointment was at 12 weeks, which I believe is pretty typical!)

--------------

Random lady at walmart, commenting on us carrying then 3wo DS around the store: "You shouldn't have your baby out of the carseat like that in a store, he'll get sick!"

--------------

Comments made to my sister by family members who were trying to get her to circ:
Sister's FIL: "Well, if it was a tumor or a heart defect, you'd do it, right??"
Sister's BF: "I will let you name him whatever you want and do whatever you want, even breastfeed if you want to, just let me make this one decision."
Our mom: "You HAVE to have him circ'd or you'll have to clean it out with baking soda every day!" and "You need to get him circ'd because Bram isn't circ'd and he's had infection after infection." (My DS has NEVER had an infection of his foreskin. EVER.)
Our 18yo sister: "I saw Bram's penis once and it was all infected and it looked like it was about to rot off!" (The last time said sister saw DS was when he was 9 months old and he never so much as had a diaper rash until over 15 months old.)

--------------

Conversation with a neighbor while I was going out to check my mail, DS in tow:
Neighbor: "She is so pretty, always smiling!"
Me: "Well thank you! But he's a boy."
Neighbor: -confused, shakes head-
Me: -thinking he just didn't hear me- "He's a boy."
Neighbor: -comes closer, right up to us and grabs DS's hair- "No, this is a girl."
Me: -laughs- "Nooooo, he's a BOY. He's my SON."
Neighbor: -speaks slowly and loudly- "Honey, this is A. GIRL."
Me: -blinks, walks back inside-

Said neighbor still refers to DS as "she" every time we run into each other.

--------------

ETA: I forgot the best one! LOL

Lady at the grocery store commenting on then 2yo DS being in a mei tai: "Why don't you let him get down and walk??"
Me: "Well, he can't walk."
Lady: -laughs- "Well, of course he can't, if you don't ever put him down!"
Me: -big sweet grin- "Actually, I'm pretty damn sure he can't walk because he has a joint deformity."
-nosy lady is speechless as I walk away-

Carly [29] + DH [27] + DS [9]

TTC my second and his first!

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Old 05-11-2008, 07:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by urchin_grey View Post
Conversation with a neighbor while I was going out to check my mail, DS in tow:
Neighbor: "She is so pretty, always smiling!"
Me: "Well thank you! But he's a boy."
Neighbor: -confused, shakes head-
Me: -thinking he just didn't hear me- "He's a boy."
Neighbor: -comes closer, right up to us and grabs DS's hair- "No, this is a girl."
Me: -laughs- "Nooooo, he's a BOY. He's my SON."
Neighbor: -speaks slowly and loudly- "Honey, this is A. GIRL."
Me: -blinks, walks back inside-

Said neighbor still refers to DS as "she" every time we run into each other.
that's really bizzare!! :

SAHM to Hannah (11/04), Cash (02/08), and Adelaide (07/10) dh, Chris.
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Old 05-11-2008, 08:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by urchin_grey View Post
Conversation with a neighbor while I was going out to check my mail, DS in tow:
Neighbor: "She is so pretty, always smiling!"
Me: "Well thank you! But he's a boy."
Neighbor: -confused, shakes head-
Me: -thinking he just didn't hear me- "He's a boy."
Neighbor: -comes closer, right up to us and grabs DS's hair- "No, this is a girl."
Me: -laughs- "Nooooo, he's a BOY. He's my SON."
Neighbor: -speaks slowly and loudly- "Honey, this is A. GIRL."
Me: -blinks, walks back inside-

Said neighbor still refers to DS as "she" every time we run into each other.
Oh Mama I feel your pain. DS has blond, curly curly hair and I get this frequently.

Either people are sure he's a girl (to the point they think I'm crazy to say he's not) or else they are sure he's a boy but only because "boys are the only ones who get pretty hair"

Alison
Mama to Toad (08/06), Frog (01/09)... and new baby Newt born on his due date, Sep. 8, 2010
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Old 05-12-2008, 01:10 AM
 
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my dd was cueball bald and my best mommy friend's same age son had a head full of gorgeous curls.

I cringe at how gender stereotyped we dressed them when we went for walks together--her always nin the pink frilly dresses and him in the overalls with trucks printed on them--but people STILL told her what a pretty little thing he was and me what a strong, handsome fella she was.
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Old 05-12-2008, 01:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by urchin_grey View Post
Lady at the grocery store commenting on then 2yo DS being in a mei tai: "Why don't you let him get down and walk??"
Me: "Well, he can't walk."
Lady: -laughs- "Well, of course he can't, if you don't ever put him down!"
Me: -big sweet grin- "Actually, I'm pretty damn sure he can't walk because he has a joint deformity."
-nosy lady is speechless as I walk away-
Love this!

That's one thing this thread is missing, all the fabulous perfect responses like this.

(By the way, you did totally tell your sister that your mom and other sister were full of it regarding your ds having had infections, yes?)
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Old 05-12-2008, 01:41 AM
 
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Love this!

That's one thing this thread is missing, all the fabulous perfect responses like this.
Haha, yeah, I was kinda prepared for that one. A LOT of people always wanna know why he's in XYZ instead of running around. But usually people say "what's wrong?" instead of "your kid can't walk because you babywear". LOL


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(By the way, you did totally tell your sister that your mom and other sister were full of it regarding your ds having had infections, yes?)
Ha! I didn't need to! The ironic thing is that my sister (M) lived with us the whole summer after DS was born and then again when DS was 9mo until he was 18mo (M got pregnant right after she moved out). And, my parents and youngest sisters live 3 hours away and saw very little of DS! If anyone besides his dad and I knew anything about his penis, it would be M! LOL

Besides, the only reason they were making up those things was because they were just desperate - M had already made up her mind on circ long before she ever even got preggo.

On the topic of my family and dumb advice though, our mother also told my sister that if she didn't supplement her BM with formula her baby would be malnourished. My sister knows that's BS though. And she has a beautiful, very healthy, EBF, intact baby boy.

Sorry, I know I'm going OT and bragging a bit. LOL I'm just so proud of her for being so pro-active and not listening to all the horrible advice (like a lot of teen moms do, unfortunately).

Carly [29] + DH [27] + DS [9]

TTC my second and his first!

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Old 05-12-2008, 06:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by urchin_grey View Post

--------------

Conversation with a neighbor while I was going out to check my mail, DS in tow:
Neighbor: "She is so pretty, always smiling!"
Me: "Well thank you! But he's a boy."
Neighbor: -confused, shakes head-
Me: -thinking he just didn't hear me- "He's a boy."
Neighbor: -comes closer, right up to us and grabs DS's hair- "No, this is a girl."
Me: -laughs- "Nooooo, he's a BOY. He's my SON."
Neighbor: -speaks slowly and loudly- "Honey, this is A. GIRL."
Me: -blinks, walks back inside-

Said neighbor still refers to DS as "she" every time we run into each other.

--------------
That would have been the point where I pulled down DS's diaper to show her his VERY MALE genitalia.

I got this with my son too, who had curly blonde hair, big blue eyes, and long thick eyelashes. Even when he was dressed in obvious boy clothes - overalls with fire trucks on them, or something - we would still get, "How old is she?"
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Old 05-12-2008, 06:27 AM
 
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That would have been the point where I pulled down DS's diaper to show her his VERY MALE genitalia.

I got this with my son too, who had curly blonde hair, big blue eyes, and long thick eyelashes. Even when he was dressed in obvious boy clothes - overalls with fire trucks on them, or something - we would still get, "How old is she?"
I think it's so funny that people always get the sex of babies wrong, even when they are dressed very gender specific.

It's kinda crazy because I dress my baby very gender neutral - almost always in plain white - and everyone always says "oh, SHE's so pretty!" Then they always ask "it IS a girl, isn't it?" and I always nod.

HOW do they know?

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl dust.gif and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 fly-by-nursing1.gif Loving unschooling, 2xuc.jpgfamilybed2.gif ecbaby2.gifand natural living in Hawaii.rainbow1284.gif
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Old 05-12-2008, 10:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry, I know I'm going OT and bragging a bit. LOL I'm just so proud of her for being so pro-active and not listening to all the horrible advice (like a lot of teen moms do, unfortunately).
Well, I'm all kinds of impressed with her. You ever wonder how the rest of your family managed to miss the research gene? I think I'd get reduced to responding "are you pulling stuff out of your : again?" after a certain point.

Anyway, yay for your sis! And more yay! for you being a good influence!
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Old 05-12-2008, 12:22 PM
 
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Well, I'm all kinds of impressed with her. You ever wonder how the rest of your family managed to miss the research gene? I think I'd get reduced to responding "are you pulling stuff out of your : again?" after a certain point.

Anyway, yay for your sis! And more yay! for you being a good influence!
I don't know! My mother and her twin were even BF until 2 1/2! Yet somehow my mom thinks that their first teeth means they are ready to wean so she weaned all 5 of us between 4 and 6 months. : And my mom has no business giving advice on penis care anyway - she has 5 girls! As a matter of a fact, we were visiting once when DS was about 9mo and my mom wanted to give him a bath. But then she calls me into the bathroom and is like "okay, you've gotta clean the boy parts because I don't do that". And I looked at her all confused, grabbed the rag, and swiped the outside a couple times. LOL It didn't occur to me until at least a year later that she thought she was supposed to retract and clean it out!

Carly [29] + DH [27] + DS [9]

TTC my second and his first!

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Old 05-12-2008, 02:31 PM
 
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1st preagnancy I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks.
MIL never called to tell me i'm sorry, or to see how I was doing. When she finally did come for a visit, she asked me what I did to cause that!!

DS, 3weeks old, has hiccups and sneezes a lot. MIL and FIL keep wanting me to give him water for the hiccups, and say he has a cold when he sneezes (he was a c-section baby).

I put DS on the floor for some tummy time during one of the rare moments he was very awake. MIL and FIL said, "I wanted to tell you earlier, that is the best way for them to sleep because it feels like they felt in your belly". Umm, no!!

I'm Aicha . In love with my DH, and my Adam (4/23/08) . boobie monster.
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Old 05-12-2008, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I put DS on the floor for some tummy time during one of the rare moments he was very awake. MIL and FIL said, "I wanted to tell you earlier, that is the best way for them to sleep because it feels like they felt in your belly". Umm, no!!
What, surrounded by fluid with the sounds of burps and farts echoing through regularly? (I am a gross gross pregnant woman. )
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Old 05-12-2008, 04:25 PM
 
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I cannot believe that I have just read all 13 pages in ONE sitting!

Y'all are hilarious!

Mrs B
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Old 05-12-2008, 04:41 PM
 
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I put DS on the floor for some tummy time during one of the rare moments he was very awake. MIL and FIL said, "I wanted to tell you earlier, that is the best way for them to sleep because it feels like they felt in your belly". Umm, no!!
My mother always used to tell me that babies need to sleep on their bellies or they'll feel like they're falling and wake up. Now I know she was talking about the morrow reflex.

My husband's uncle's wife (I won't say his aunt, she's only three years older than my husband) comes up with some doozies. My little man is only eight weeks old, so of course I wear him everywhere. This Easter (when he was only a month old) we went to the in-laws house for dinner, and Dear Auntie told me that in her country (Bolivia) people feed their babies and then put them down, because they have things to do and can't be holding their babies all day long. Because clearly I don't have things to do, being one of those lazy housewives/SAHMs and all.

Not parenting advice, but I got the odd when at the grocery store the other day. A nice looking little old lady came up and was asking about Ned. She asked how old he was and what his name is, so I told her - Edmund. She said "Aww, they'll call him Eddie!" to which I said "No, he's Ned". She responded, in a very sad tone, "Aww, that's too bad, since he's a boy". Huh?
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Old 05-12-2008, 05:26 PM
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I think it's so funny that people always get the sex of babies wrong, even when they are dressed very gender specific.
So true. At least 90 percent of the people we run into - a lot, since we live in the city and walk all over the place - assume DD is a boy. I don't generally mind - you really can't tell gender very easily at this age, and a lot of the time I have her in bright colors and fairly gender neutral things. But it's funny to me how *certain* people are, and how many talk about my "boy" even when she's in head-to-toe pink.
My favorite was at the airport - DD was still in her light-pink PJs (with some little flowers on them, to boot!), and was toddling around the gate area. An older gentleman was clearly enjoying watching her, and loudly exclaimed: "There he goes! The pink wrestler! Look at that boy go!"
Later, also in the gate area, we overheard a flight attendant chatting with a passenger as they watched DD. The flight attendant was insisting she was a girl because of the pink, and the other passenger was equally certain DD was a boy :
I'm convinced it has to do with hair. Babies with longer curly hair get called girls, even when they're boys, and DD has very short hair that sticks up in wacky ways. I think people forget that, at 10 months, most babies still haven't had a haircut and many are still bald....
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Old 05-12-2008, 11:47 PM
 
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The one I hate the most is the, "Is she a good baby?" line. Why do old people feel the need to ask that? I guess it was just the mentality at the time they were raised, sadly. I just want to respond, "No, she's a BAD baby, just awful and horrid!" and see what response I get . But actually, when my step-grandmother (my GF remarried after my GM died) asked this very question, my 93 yr old GF piped up with, "Of course! All babies are good!"

My mil had dh at age 20 and was asked by a stranger, "Oh, you're babysitting?" when she was out w/ her children.

Strangers have asked me, "Oh, can she breathe in there?" when I had dd#1 in a sling asleep. No, she's actually dead in there...

And then I had somebody ask me, "So what are you doing?" to which I gave a blank look... she meant which baby training program were we doing, like Babywise or Ferber, etc. Gosh, I hadn't realized you have to "do" something to your baby!

I'm also fortunate to have received several positive comments. In the semi-rural South, I am surprised at how many people comment positively on the sling and say, "Aw, that's just where a baby wants to be!"

And a family member said to me while I nursed my then 18 month old, "I don't think I'll nurse our kids that long, and I think they'll turn out *just fine.*" Like I said they wouldn't? My nursing of my own child is somehow a judgment on somebody else's hypothetical future parenting???
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Old 05-13-2008, 12:36 AM
 
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Ok here's a dumb one that I almost fell for.
My neighbor knew I was having a boy and she is a buddinsky and she said something about circing him (The details are fuzzy b/c I was pregnant at the time and DS is now almost 3)
and b/c it's fun to irritate her I told her I wasn't circing him.
She told me I had to b/c her "neighbor's cousin's uncle's late father" or some such thing wasn't circ'd and he got an infection so bad he couldn't walk.

I had never seen an intact boy and I wasn't as knowledgeable as I am now but I went over to the CAC board and asked about this...
I was set straight!

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Old 05-13-2008, 01:17 AM
 
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And a family member said to me while I nursed my then 18 month old, "I don't think I'll nurse our kids that long, and I think they'll turn out *just fine.*" Like I said they wouldn't? My nursing of my own child is somehow a judgment on somebody else's hypothetical future parenting???
I find this to be the most irritating thing about parenting! EVERYONE always takes your own parenting practices as a personal insult to the way they raise their kids. You don't even have to say anything! They just see you with your happy baby and are instantly insulted that you are not doing it "their way" because obviously you do it just to prove that their way is "wrong." :

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Old 05-13-2008, 03:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I find this to be the most irritating thing about parenting! EVERYONE always takes your own parenting practices as a personal insult to the way they raise their kids. You don't even have to say anything! They just see you with your happy baby and are instantly insulted that you are not doing it "their way" because obviously you do it just to prove that their way is "wrong." :
: And yet, they seem to think it's perfectly okay to say bad stuff about you parent and things like "we'll see how long *that* lasts" with a smug chuckle, and would accuse you of being over sensitive if you pointed out how rude they were being.
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Old 05-13-2008, 12:07 PM
 
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I have two related to DS's dairy sensitivity...

Shortly after DS was diagnosed with a dairy sensitivity and I had eliminated all dairy from my diet, we went to visit my in-laws. At a brunch at their house, my BIL's mom overheard a conversation I was having with some other people about how if removing dairy from my diet didn't fix DS's tummy problems, I'd move onto eliminating soy. I started listing all the things I could try eliminating after that and it just got to be too much for my BIL's mom. She loudly burst into the conversation with "Well, they wouldn't let you give up all those foods! If it got to that point, they'd put him on a special formula." : That's right, folks... this mysterious, vague, all-powerful "they" not only has the right to choose what I do and don't eat, "they" can also make those decisions for my DS. :

My other one is more general. Whenever I had to explain to someone outside of my family/close friends that I wasn't eating dairy because DS was allergic, they nearly always replied with "But breastmilk is dairy!"
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Old 05-13-2008, 12:55 PM
 
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I remembered another one...

When my first was about 13 months old, we were at a playgroup. A grandmother there who brought her granddaughter to the group asked me if my dd drank juice (she was passing it out at snacktime). I replied, "Not yet, she'll just have some water." The woman looked dumbfounded, then said, "But.. how does she get her vitamin C?"

I was kinda shocked... I responded that she did eat some fruit, and "I'm still breastfeeding her, so I'm sure she's getting some from that as well." The poor lady looked just a touch horrified, said, "Oh!" and then left me alone.
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Old 05-13-2008, 03:31 PM
 
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I find this to be the most irritating thing about parenting! EVERYONE always takes your own parenting practices as a personal insult to the way they raise their kids. You don't even have to say anything! They just see you with your happy baby and are instantly insulted that you are not doing it "their way" because obviously you do it just to prove that their way is "wrong." :
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: And yet, they seem to think it's perfectly okay to say bad stuff about you parent and things like "we'll see how long *that* lasts" with a smug chuckle, and would accuse you of being over sensitive if you pointed out how rude they were being.
Oh, how true it is! The hypocrisy ASTOUNDS me! And let's not forget that if you dare mention anything different to what they're doing, even as a polite suggestion (i.e. "I'm so tired of getting up all night long to nurse!" "We cosleep so that's not a problem for us, maybe you should give it a try, you'll get more sleep."), then you're SHOVING YOUR OPINION DOWN THEIR THROAT.
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Old 05-13-2008, 03:36 PM
 
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MY PEDIATRICIAN telling me to start my baby on solids at 2 monts.
Gotta' love the south.
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Old 05-13-2008, 03:44 PM
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: And yet, they seem to think it's perfectly okay to say bad stuff about you parent and things like "we'll see how long *that* lasts" with a smug chuckle, and would accuse you of being over sensitive if you pointed out how rude they were being.
The "we'll see how long that lasts" with the knowing smile or chuckle is always irritating to me. I remember talking to one friend (who has a 2-year-old) when I was about 8 months pregnant. When I told her I was planning on a natural childbirth, I got one of those "yeah, right, that's what you say now, wait till they offer you the epidural" comments. Later in the conversation, I told her we were planning to cloth diaper, and got yet another knowing look, as she said, "good luck... we'll see how long that lasts!" I know she was 100 percent convinced that neither thing would come to pass.

I actually like this woman a lot, and I think she's a great mother - she also pumped for 14 months despite working fulltime at a demanding job - but the knowing tone her voice irked me so much. I have to admit, I took some satisfaction in letting her know that I did, in fact, have a fully natural birth despite a long back labor, and that the cloth diapers were working wonderfully.

I'm not sure why it is that so many people see the decision to parent a certain way as a judgment on their different decisions, but it's SO true.
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Old 05-13-2008, 05:57 PM
 
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I started listing all the things I could try eliminating after that and it just got to be too much for my BIL's mom. She loudly burst into the conversation with "Well, they wouldn't let you give up all those foods! If it got to that point, they'd put him on a special formula." : That's right, folks... this mysterious, vague, all-powerful "they" not only has the right to choose what I do and don't eat, "they" can also make those decisions for my DS. :

My other one is more general. Whenever I had to explain to someone outside of my family/close friends that I wasn't eating dairy because DS was allergic, they nearly always replied with "But breastmilk is dairy!"
Wow. So what did you say?

And on another note, I had never heard of Galactosemia until the old thread, and my cousin's little boy has it.

Mama to 2 year old and :: June 14th!
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Old 05-13-2008, 06:15 PM
 
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Dear Auntie told me that in her country (Bolivia) people feed their babies and then put them down, because they have things to do and can't be holding their babies all day long. Because clearly I don't have things to do, being one of those lazy housewives/SAHMs and all.
That's a little strange. When my Aunt, who's in her early 70's saw DD in the sling she said, "that's so good for them, to be close to Mama. Back in Honduras all the women do that. When she gets older, you can put her on your back to keep her little hands out of the way" I was under the impression most of Central America had a tradition of babywearing.

Mom of 4 aspiring midwife "Friend"ly seeker
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