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#1 of 8 Old 03-22-2002, 02:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What are monsters for? I mean, do kids need them to put a name on their fears? Or does talk of monsters generate fears that weren't there before?

If your kid was never introduced to the concept of a monster under the bed, would they still be scared?
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#2 of 8 Old 03-22-2002, 03:35 PM
 
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I was very cautious about introducing anything scary to my oldest. Unfortunately, while he was sick a few weeks ago my ds let him watch "Thomas the Tank Engine -- Spills, Chills, and other Thomas Thrills." The feeling in the video is pretty scary. All the stories are at night and the music is pretty ominous. There is one story where a boulder is rolling toward the engines and they talk about how the boulder is watching them. There is another story where some cars plunge off a bridge into the water below. And something that happens to Toby was of concern to Christian, although I can't remember what he is talking about.

After watching it he began talking about it, especially the boulder, and the Toby thing. He found boulders everywhere in our house, including the lightbulbs in his ceiling fan. He began being afraid of the dark and wouldn't walk down the hall alone, even with the light on. All the doors in the hallway had to be closed. To top it all off, he started wetting the bed at night because he was afraid to go to the bathroom. Leaving the bathroom light on and a light in the hallway didn't help.

I made him some "Go Away Monster Spray" and that seemed to help a little. I put plain water with a few sprays of a lavender room spray in a small spray bottle for him, and labeled it. Every night before bed he would spray it on his bed and in his closet. I think it makes him feel better knowing that it's there.

I didn't tell him that there were no such things as monsters, and I was actually the one who gave his fears the monster name basically so we could talk about it. We did tell him that the monster spray worked on boulders too. He seemed to do well with the idea that we gave him some things to do to cope with the monsters, ie the spray. I told him that the monsters don't like the way it smells so they leave. He also had to know that we locked all the door and windows before bed so that no monsters could get in.

The fears lasted about two or three weeks, then they faded. He will now walk down the hall without the light on, the doors don't have to be closed, and he typically doesn't think to use the monster spray anymore, although it's still there. I know there will be more "monster" issues in the future, but I hope they don't involve wetting the bed again. That was a bummer.:
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#3 of 8 Old 03-22-2002, 03:59 PM
 
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That's an interesting question that I have never given much thought to. I am not big on the idea of scaring kids so I have never had a scared kid.
We never talked about things like mosters or the boogey man. I was always careful about what DD watched on TV. It has been only recently that DD even had a bad dream. It turns out she was watching America's Most Wanted : downstairs with my Mother. Of course she woke up that night from a dream about being kidnapped. My Mom knows that she shouldn't have let her see that and she won't again.
My Grandmother is actually really into scaring little kids. : My cousins live with her and I was over there when the kids were getting a little rambunctious, my Grandmother threatened to put them downstairs in the basement with the Witch!!!!! : :mad: I was so pissed off. I told them right in front of my Grandmother that there is no such things as witches and they do not have to be afraid. My Grandmother had a really sadistic Mother so she has a hard time understanding why scaring kids is not a cool thing to do.
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#4 of 8 Old 03-23-2002, 03:06 AM
 
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I soooooo think it is true that our children are influenced from outside sources to be scared and such. With ds #1 (who is now 3 1/2) he never really watched any videos or anything until he was two and we have never assumed him to be afraid of anything or talked about monsters, etc. He didn't really even know about "monsters" until this past year...somthing we saw in a video or something. Ds #2 (who is almost 24 mnths) has been afraid of things for a few months...mostly because ds #1 pretends things that ds #2 doesn't understand, etc. Ds #1 never had any of that exposed to him. I especially think this is true for fears of Dr.'s and other such things. I recently had to take ds #2 to the e.r. in the middle of the night with croup. He didn't really feel apprehensive or scared about things until the nurses kept telling him "now this won't hurt" before they did anything to him....he never would have been afraid that anything they were going to do would hurt him if they hadn't kept telling him that. After they said it a few times he was terrified with every procedure they did. I think most people just assume that children are afraid of stuff...monsters, dr's, the dark, etc. Ds #1 didn't really feel scared of monsters and stuff until someone at a store we were at mentioned something about it. Irritating. But we explain to him that monsters aren't real and that some pretned monsters are nice (like on seasame street, etc) and that mostly it's just scary ideas or thoughts in our minds. This seems to make him feel better...that he has permission to feel scared about things but also knows that it's not real and he's not in danger.

Heidi : Married for 15 years, expecting our 8th baby in July!

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#5 of 8 Old 03-26-2002, 12:29 AM
 
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MY ds is 17 months old, and he thinks monsters are funny. They say raaaaah, just like ni-nors (dinosaurs), lions, and yes, birds lately (what does the birdie say? RAAAAH!)

Dr. Seus books are full of mon-mers, and he begs to look at them, say raaaah, and then laugh.

Let's hope it lasts. He hasn't watched TV or movies yet.

Mama to 3 kiddles. joy.giffencing.gif Doing my best and trying to stay afloat.vbac.gif

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#6 of 8 Old 03-27-2002, 04:14 AM
 
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Dd is only eighteen months but has had several nightmares already. They really scare her and we have to put the lights on, read some books, play etc for about half an hour before she'll come back to bed to go to sleep. Last week she was talking about 'open the door' and we had to keep opening the doors to check behind them. Another time it was 'the stars' - she kept pointing up in the air and was really upset about something to do with the stars. Luckily she is very verbal, talking in short sentences, so we can usually work out what she is scared of, although she doesnt use the word 'monster' as she hasn't ever seen one.

I have no idea how she comes up with these frightening ideas though - she is with me all day so it's not other children or other adults. She doesn't watch TV apart from three videos in her second language - which are nothing remotely frightening, and she has no scary books.

She wants Daddy to come upstairs the moment she has a nightmare, and only he can make her feel safe. I can only conclude that she has a vivid imagination that can create scary situations in her dreams. I know she also has friendly dreams, because she wakes me by talking about them in her sleep. She also has some imaginary friends who come everywhere with her.

I just wonder what would happen to her imagination - and fears - if we exposed her to TV and scary things, but then again, maybe her imagination is so active because she doesn't get fed this sort of stuff and has to use her imagination!
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#7 of 8 Old 03-27-2002, 09:32 AM
 
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Hmmm..Saige hasnt talked about them yet,but there's a little boy she plays with that's older then her and he's always talking about scary stuff,so I stick pretty close when he's over.It's hard to tell them at that age the difference between real and pretend,so I try to avoid it all together.
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#8 of 8 Old 04-23-2002, 04:26 PM
 
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My stepdaughter is deathly frighten of monsters because her grandmother (who she lives with) thinks it is too funny to scare her and watch her cry. I won't get into what I think of the whole situation because I'm not in the mood to write a novel. I'll just leave it at , it is a realpain when she comes to our house and is scared of everything. Last summer (when she was four) we told her my cat was a monster hunter and he was the best there was. That no monsters came near our house because they didn't want to tangle with the supreme monster eater. We don't have the cat this summer so I bought her a flashlight (at a discovery toy party) that is a tiger and when you press the on button, his mouth (where the light is) opens and he roars, to scare away the monsters. Hopefully that and the fact that she is five and extremely bright for her age will help combat the monster fear.
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