Dd's new friend is a super picky eater - WWYD? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 124 Old 07-30-2008, 10:14 AM
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I wouldn't want the other mom to send food over with her kid unless I knew that it would be something unexciting. If she sent for her kid brownies, chips, lunchable meal with candy, etc, then it wouldn't be fair to my kid. Just something to consider before you ask her to send food.

I would never force a child who was not my own to eat, with any degree of coercion, but I do insist my own child try things. He's laid back and a naturally easy going eater, so I realize how easy I have it (there's no actual force involved, of course). I honestly do believe most picky eaters are made, not born, and I see a lot of parents in my community who I think don't challenge their children enough with new foods, especially vegetables.
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#122 of 124 Old 07-30-2008, 01:57 PM
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My 10 yo is picky. I don't worry about it when she goes to someone else's house for dinner. I figure she'll either eat what they have, make herself a PB & J, or not eat. Missing one meal isn't going to kill her, even if she is staying overnight.

This thread is pretty old so OP, what have you decided to do when the girl comes over for dinner?
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#123 of 124 Old 07-31-2008, 01:49 AM
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I would just ignore it and try to give it as little attention as possible. Eating or not eating can become a huge control issue for children (and adults). Not eating can also become a major attention-getting device.

Personally, I would try to set aside expectations that she eats what you cook. I also would try to set aside judgments of her behavior as rude, etc. It's not directed at you personally. She's universally a picky eater and apparently has struggled with eating a variety fo foods for a long time. Why or how should she magically be ended of this once she eats at your house? I cannot imagine that feeling a pressure to eat helps.

I was EXTREMELY picky eater as a child. New foods scared me. I also received a tremendous amount of attention for NOT eating, which I think fueled my food refusal. Sensory issues can make children very picky eaters. Textures feel really uncomfortable. Preemies or children who have had feeding tubes can be very picky eaters or have food refusal issues. Some kids simply are phobic/fearful of new foods.

I would just try to include a few items she likes and offer her some of the regular food you serve.
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#124 of 124 Old 07-31-2008, 03:14 PM
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I wouldn't say my kids are picky, but we are vegetarian. I would hate for someone to try to force meat on them because that happened to be a rule of the house. They also have very sensitive stomachs. Dd has thrown up from seeing me eat oatmeal. Ds threw up all over in a restaurant very recently because he smelled some beet salad I had been eating. (Oh, what a wonderful experience that was! )I can easily see them throwing up if they ate food with an unappealing taste or texture. So, I don't think forcing anyone to take a bite of anything is a good idea. At least not around my house.

I would suggest the little girl pack her own food to eat. I would do that for my kids if they were visiting a non-veg family for a meal. I would actually insist on doing it.

ETA: I didn't realize this thread was so old! I'd love to know if you've talked to the parents, and if they offered to bring food for their dd.
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