Parenting: Moms who smokes dope... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 112 Old 08-16-2008, 03:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I recently gave birth to my son, and have been blessed. He is amazing, I couldn't imagine putting him in harms way. Its amazing how much you can fall in love with someone soo quickly.

I've come to find out that my friend smoked dope during pregnancy and after (while breast feeding), this really bugs me! There are websites that advocates that weed does not affect the baby and so forth. Why would a mom gamble? Research shows that there are no damages done by weed, but how can that be if there are narcotics involved? Research also shows that it is possible to do damages, I know its a choice made by a mother to take the risk and such, but babies cannot voice for themselves, its a risk that she is giving to their child for their own vice.

What do you guys think?

How should I react to my friend who smokes dope?

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#2 of 112 Old 08-16-2008, 03:46 PM
 
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I'm sorry you're feeling that way.

So far as I know the main concern smoking pot during pregnancy is that any smoke, cigarettes or otherwise, can affect the baby (restrict oxygen supply, I believe). And during breastfeeding the only thing I'd worry about is that the baby will have detectable levels of THC (the baby doesn't get high from it, but the chemical is found in their body) so if there was an investigation on her part for any reason that required a drug test of her baby he could test positive for THC and be taken by child services.

I hope you find the answers you're looking for.

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#3 of 112 Old 08-17-2008, 06:05 AM
 
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welcome to mdc
I would suggest posting your question in the parenting or health forums to get more responses

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#4 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 12:35 AM
 
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I know a lot of moms here think it is fine to smoke dope, pregant or parenting. No matter what, it is illegal and you are taking a risk whether you think it is your right or not. Also, most moms to be would rather not take any risks while pregnant. I'm in the "better safe than sorry" camp and would never chance it.
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#5 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 12:41 AM
 
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you shoudl probably check out the front page of this website. there are articles published by Mothering about the benefits of marijuana while pregnant..for some women, it has made the difference between being sick for 9 months and being able to function at all.

I am thankfully not in a category where I need medical marijuana during pregnancy but there are issues that you may not understand prior to reading further...perhaps check that out before being so judgmental of others that are literally sick every day from pregnancy.
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#6 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 01:27 AM
 
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#7 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 01:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Popeye7608 View Post


I've come to find out that my friend smoked dope during pregnancy and after (while breast feeding), this really bugs me!

What do you guys think?

How should I react to my friend who smokes dope?

Do you want to remain friends?
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#8 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 10:54 AM
 
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Her child, her body, her choice. I can understand you being upset at this, but unless you want to start drama, I wouldn't mention anything.

single mommy to identical twin girls (3/06) Non-traditional mama just : through life.
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#9 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 11:40 AM
 
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#10 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 11:45 AM
 
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here is one such article: http://www.mothering.com/articles/pr...ana-side3.html
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#11 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 07:00 PM
 
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thankfully, I did not need to smoke anything while I was pregnant.

however, i was friends with a woman who needed it. in her defense, she still had a really horrible pregnancy. all the marijuana did was alleviate -some of her symptoms. she had to deal with everything else.
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#12 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 07:57 PM
 
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No way. She would soon be an ex-friend. I cannot abide by anyone who might put their child in harm's way like that.
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#13 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 08:05 PM
 
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technically weed is not a narcotic like opium or morphine or heroine. thc is a mild hallucinogen. yes it's illegal, but it's not the devil, and let's not demonize those who use it.

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#14 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 08:10 PM
 
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Presumably the mother is an adult and is capable of weighing the risks herself. I read in Mothering that it isn't a big deal and I'm inclined to believe that. Regardless of what you believe, you aren't in a position to rule other women's lives and make decisions for them.
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#15 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 08:12 PM
 
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Also, I get severe migraine headaches when pregnant and my midwife prescribed narcotics for them. My midwife and I have both researched the risks and benefits and I've made my choice. You aren't in a position to judge me even though what I take really *is* a narcotic.
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#16 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 08:19 PM
 
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I would not want known drug users in my life. If not for my sake, then for my children's.
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#17 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 08:22 PM
 
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First - dope is heroin, not marijuana.

Second - marijuana is not a narcotic.

Third - how to respond? Well it's not really any of your business. As you yourself pointed out, the research shows that weed does not have adverse affects on a baby.

Baby Boy 9/08 & Baby Girl 3/11

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#18 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 08:30 PM
 
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This is a friend of hers, and she didn't even know she smoked pot until after she'd been doing it for some period of time, and then only because the friend told her. So she's obviously discrete, and therefore I don't see how it could affect anyone's children.
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#19 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 08:47 PM
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I am always surprised about people who post about not wanting to risk "IT" by smoking pot during pregnancy.
Yet no one can tell me what "IT" is and I have never seen nor read about any baby being messed up from the mom smoking weed during pregnancy.

Does anyone know what "it" is?
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#20 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 11:25 PM
 
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When I say "it", I mean health and legal reasons. Whether a person agrees it should be legal (and I lean towards that), it still is, and I wouldn't want to risk losing my kids over pot. I function perfectly fine without pot, so it isn't a issue in my life. And I firmly believe you can find a study to back up whatever position you want to take with pot, or anything for that matter. I had bad morning sickness, and I got through without it. Now I know some moms swear by it and say they couldn't have gotten through pregnancy sickness without it, but I still wouldn't risk it being illegal.
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#21 of 112 Old 08-18-2008, 11:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by primjillie View Post
I know a lot of moms here think it is fine to smoke dope, pregant or parenting. No matter what, it is illegal and you are taking a risk whether you think it is your right or not.
Just wondering where you're getting your information, because it's wrong. In New York, it's NOT illegal to smoke marijuana.


..but I don't think dope has to mean heroine. In fact, I've never heard it mean heroine, though I suppose it could. According to discionary.com it's any illegal drug. That's what they taught us in DARE. :

To the OP...what do you mean how do you react? I'm not being snarky, just truly wondering what kind of advice you're looking for?

Kelly, mama (12yoDS), doula, RN, and writer.
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#22 of 112 Old 08-19-2008, 01:08 AM
 
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I have friends that do things that I don't agree with as far as parenting goes but they are still my friends.

I'm sure your friend has weighed the pros/cons and has made her decision. Now you need to weight the pros/cons of your friendship and decide if you can keep her as a friend.

Just b/c she is your friend doesn't mean you have to leave your child with her if her being high bothers you...that would be where you do have control over what she does.
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#23 of 112 Old 08-19-2008, 01:52 AM
 
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I am always surprised about people who post about not wanting to risk "IT" by smoking pot during pregnancy.
Yet no one can tell me what "IT" is and I have never seen nor read about any baby being messed up from the mom smoking weed during pregnancy.
:
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#24 of 112 Old 08-19-2008, 10:21 AM
 
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I live in California, where it is illegal. I don't know anyone who has had their children taken away for it, but I know a few that have been arrested and lost their jobs from it. Just a risk I'm not comfortable taking, especially for something I don't need or want.
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#25 of 112 Old 08-19-2008, 10:36 AM
 
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actually medical MJ in Ca. is legal and there are bars set up for those who have a rx to go to for safe MJ. there was an excellent pbs documentary about MJ about a year ago. It was very enlightening.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions of parents smoking MJ and being "stoned" and those who smoke for medical reasons (whether its morning sickness, headaches, etc. etc.). MJ has fewer side effects than some of the harsher drugs rx'd by dr's that are "legal".

i think there is a forum here for mamas who use MJ, just in case anyone wanted to get some insight into the issues.

I do not think its appropriate to refer to a mom who smokes MJ as a druggie.
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#26 of 112 Old 08-19-2008, 10:51 AM
 
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Smoking period is not healthy for an unborn child.

I don't buy it one little bit. NO drugs are 100% safe during pregnancy.

As for how to react, if you morally object then you can keep it to yourself or not be friends with her anymore.

And regardless for health reasons, or for legal reasons (where applicable) MJ use does impair judgment and I do not want to be impaired while taking care of my children.
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#27 of 112 Old 08-19-2008, 12:23 PM
 
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And regardless for health reasons, or for legal reasons (where applicable) MJ use does impair judgment and I do not want to be impaired while taking care of my children.
Here's the thing. I don't smoke anything, let alone mj, but I do take a narcotic prescription for severe migraine headaches which causes me to be impaired. But it isn't like not taking the medicine is going to keep me from being impaired - having a severe migraine headache causes me to be more impaired than the medicine. And we don't know the specific situation with this mom. If she's taking it for a medical reason, the level of impairment WITH the mj could be less than the level of impairment without it.
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#28 of 112 Old 08-19-2008, 12:45 PM
 
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I know several people who smoked a bit of pot (not a lot, a handful of times) during their pregnancy. Their reasons:

-helped with nausea and sickness
-helped prevent them from wanting to kill themself. This sounds dramatic, but it's true that pot is good for helping some people with this.
-helped with severe anxiety

Marijuana is a PLANT. It's crazy that it's illegal, and most people have no idea WHY it's illegal.

Ideally, it's better not to SMOKE something (b/c of the lung issue) but that's why there are vaporizers and it can be put into food and have the same benefits.

The folks that I know that smoked it have brilliant, well-adjusted children. I see no difference b/w someone using a bit of pot vs. taking an anti-depressant.

However, I do not think heavy use of pot during pregnancy is good; I am talking about moderate amounts (once a week or so, and just a little bit at a time).
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#29 of 112 Old 08-19-2008, 12:48 PM
 
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Here's the thing. I don't smoke anything, let alone mj, but I do take a narcotic prescription for severe migraine headaches which causes me to be impaired. But it isn't like not taking the medicine is going to keep me from being impaired - having a severe migraine headache causes me to be more impaired than the medicine. And we don't know the specific situation with this mom. If she's taking it for a medical reason, the level of impairment WITH the mj could be less than the level of impairment without it.



I agree. I function HORRIBLY when I have a migraine, and am definitely impaired. I can't function, really. But I am not impaired and function just fine when slightly high on pot.
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#30 of 112 Old 08-19-2008, 01:00 PM
 
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What do you guys think?

How should I react to my friend who smokes dope?

What it comes down to is that how anyone on this website feels about this issue is really irrelevant to this situation. You should react however you want to react. If it's a deal breaker in a friendship for you, than that's what it is. If it's not a deal breaker, than move past it.
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