Moms of Many September 2008 thread - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 91 Old 09-16-2008, 03:09 PM
 
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Helen, sorry you're feeling so crappy. I hope you are lying on the sofa with cabbage leaves in your bra and Skye is managing to get everything in the potty.
You jinxed me. Not only did she poo in her pants, rather than the potty, but then stood in it, took a couple of steps, fell over and skidded I can tell that in 20 years time, this is going to be one of those stories I love to retell, but for now, not so much The dog ate her pants whilst I was bathing her as well, so somehow I have to tell her that Dora and the unicorn met an unhappy end
Must sleep. DH was late home tonight (because he was trying to ring me so tea is late- he's gone to the fish and chip shop.:

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#62 of 91 Old 09-17-2008, 05:16 AM
 
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You jinxed me. Not only did she poo in her pants, rather than the potty, but then stood in it, took a couple of steps, fell over and skidded I can tell that in 20 years time, this is going to be one of those stories I love to retell, but for now, not so much The dog ate her pants whilst I was bathing her as well, so somehow I have to tell her that Dora and the unicorn met an unhappy end
Must sleep. DH was late home tonight (because he was trying to ring me so tea is late- he's gone to the fish and chip shop.:
Oh no! I bet you were glad to see Steve with the fish and chips. Here's hoping for a better day today!
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#63 of 91 Old 09-18-2008, 09:11 AM
 
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Poo went in a nappy yesterday, and the sleep deprivation (did I mention I got 5 hours sleep on Wednesday night?) made me hyperactive and somewhat efficient. I got a full nights sleep yesterday and I am generally back to normal- that is, apart from a house full of dirty laundry and food for dustmites.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#64 of 91 Old 09-18-2008, 12:09 PM
 
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Ha ha Greg and I are going out on our own tonight Yay! I need to tidy up a bit though for my dear friend who is going to babysit. She'll have to be able to sit down somewhere and use more than a 6" square of counter top to make a cup of tea.

Sleep... I could sleep for a week. For the last two days I have gone to bed at my usual night owl time of 2am and been up and out just after 9am which is a terrible shock to my system! I will be back to normal tomorrow I hope and be able to get up a bit later.
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#65 of 91 Old 09-22-2008, 08:41 PM
 
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okay, ya'll, sorry for the change of topic...
how do you mamas deal with the constant wanting of another baby??????
i know it's totally natural to want another one even though i HAVE a one year old, have to work three mornings a week teaching preschool in my home with him while trying to homeschool my 4th grader...and we are barely getting by financially and i mean barely. my mom has to help us with my daughter's tuition at the waldorf school. i don't want to put my body through another pregnancy as i'm feeling older (33 but after 4 kids...) and don't want more varicose veins, migraines, etc....
but that yearning for the full belly, the sweet baby, the fun little one, just doesn't go away EVER for some of us, does it??

just looking for some insight...

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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#66 of 91 Old 09-22-2008, 08:47 PM
 
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I just keep getting knocked up, so I'm probably no help.

Seriously, . Sometimes I feel like I don't worry enough about finances.

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#67 of 91 Old 09-22-2008, 08:49 PM
 
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Mataji4, I feel the same way! We have 4 wonderful kids, and we raised our nephew who is now a young adult. For a lot of reasons, mainly my health, (I had a lot of trouble w/my last pergnancy & birth & fear another would do serious damage to my body) we have decided not to have any more. Not a day goes by that I do not crave another baby though.

I think for moms of many it might be particularly hard to reconcile these feelings, as we've spent so much time pregnant, birthing & nursing that it feels unusual not to be experiencing any of those amazing phenonmenons.

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"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#68 of 91 Old 09-22-2008, 08:51 PM
 
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I just keep getting knocked up, so I'm probably no help.
:

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#69 of 91 Old 09-23-2008, 02:13 AM
 
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okay, ya'll, sorry for the change of topic...
how do you mamas deal with the constant wanting of another baby??????
i know it's totally natural to want another one even though i HAVE a one year old, have to work three mornings a week teaching preschool in my home with him while trying to homeschool my 4th grader...and we are barely getting by financially and i mean barely. my mom has to help us with my daughter's tuition at the waldorf school. i don't want to put my body through another pregnancy as i'm feeling older (33 but after 4 kids...) and don't want more varicose veins, migraines, etc....
but that yearning for the full belly, the sweet baby, the fun little one, just doesn't go away EVER for some of us, does it??

just looking for some insight...
Umm we hurried out and had DH get a vasectomy when we were still tired and exhausted from having a newborn stage. We had discussed it prior so it was not a rash decision. In fact we were planning and setting a date when we found out Naomi was coming. I knew if we waited that in a year or so we would just kind of not use condoms or protection and be all oh if it happens it happens. And well it happens. I find myself snuggling with Nomy and being really sad that we are not having anymore and then I need to remind myself that I am exhausted and we really are done. We will adopt though I am sure. Older kids most likely, we have talked about teens before. I love giving birth, honestly! I hate being pregnant but love labor and pushing out a baby is seriously the best feeling in the world. Maybe I should not say that as I have never pushed for more than 10 minutes. But I could give birth over and over and over again.

Allison wife and mom to four. 

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#70 of 91 Old 09-23-2008, 02:17 AM
 
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I think for moms of many it might be particularly hard to reconcile these feelings, as we've spent so much time pregnant, birthing & nursing that it feels unusual not to be experiencing any of those amazing phenonmenons.
that The other day I was nursing Marah to bed and for some reason started counting how long I have nursed in my life and it was 58 months and counting , so far 6 of those tandem (not consecutively but total).

Allison wife and mom to four. 

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#71 of 91 Old 09-23-2008, 11:09 AM
 
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Joining you. I currently have 3 DC, but number 4 will be here in January. I am laughing along with the stories about BC, because that is exactly what happened with us. After the twins were born we were pretty sure we were done, but we didn't want anything TOO permanent. Now our mother's day surprise is due around my birthday. I guess these days we are officially in the BIG family category. I am hoping for a vasectomy for Christmas, as my DH's insurance will cover it with no deductible before the end of the year. Here's hoping!

Mama to 4 darlings. A ('03), O and K ('06), A ('09), and wife to M since 2002.
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#72 of 91 Old 09-23-2008, 11:17 AM
 
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Hurray! - I'm so glad I found this thread because I want to see how other Mamas with many babies feel. My husband and I are discussing #6. I just don't feel like I am finished having babies yet, although I am pretty sure this one will be it. I just get so nervous thinking about it because I feel like I am pushing my luck at having another healthy baby. Pretty crazy, huh?

Kelly - wife to the best DH and : Mama to 6 younguns
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#73 of 91 Old 09-23-2008, 11:26 AM
 
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joining. i haven't seen any other posts here by mamas in blended families but i guess i'll be the first
i have one DS age almost 7, two DSS ages almost 6 and 7.5, and i am almost 8 months pregnant with my first baby with DH. we plan on trying for the next one about 6 months postpartum but we'll see cause i didn't get my cycle back with DS until 14 months pp.

people's reactions to us having, gasp, 4 children! is so funny, like it's just shocking that we have more than 2, i don't get it. but we live in a high cost area of the country, in a metropolis and amongst pretty liberal, non-religious folks so i guess the norm here is to not have very many kids, if any at all.
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#74 of 91 Old 09-23-2008, 11:44 AM
 
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NAK. I'm a 33 yr old M.O.M whose expecting my 6th in Jan. After I had my 5th via c/s in Sept 07, I wanted a more permanent form of BC. I considered the IUD, but didn't move on getting it. So, now we'll be getting a baby instead.
I spoke to my Dr at my last appointment and she said that there is a chance that the IUD might not work for me bacuase I've had so many children. If I can recall correctly she said something about my uterus being too big, mabye she meant my cervix?
Any M.O.M currently using an IUD?

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#75 of 91 Old 09-23-2008, 11:47 AM
 
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Hurray! - I'm so glad I found this thread because I want to see how other Mamas with many babies feel. My husband and I are discussing #6. I just don't feel like I am finished having babies yet, although I am pretty sure this one will be it. I just get so nervous thinking about it because I feel like I am pushing my luck at having another healthy baby. Pretty crazy, huh?

I feel the same way and I'm pregnant with #6. I still don't feel done. I keep having the nagging feeling that if I have anymore there might be some genetic problems. This might be our last though, it'll be my second c/s.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#76 of 91 Old 09-23-2008, 01:07 PM
 
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I had an IUD fitted- we realised that we really messed up CTA last month and had unprotected the day before I o'ed, so after much soul-searching I had an IUD fitted as emergency contraception. I know it was the right decision for us- like Max, my last pregnancy kicked my ass hard (SPD in my case) and I had a string of miscarriages before River came along- but part of me was thinking how nice another soft fluffy newborn would be. I think if I'd actually had some sleep that week, the decision would have been harder to make, though...
arismama, at least three of us have children with two dads, and there is another stepmum around- I don't remember who, though. Anyone know?

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#77 of 91 Old 09-23-2008, 02:32 PM
 
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people's reactions to us having, gasp, 4 children! is so funny, like it's just shocking that we have more than 2, i don't get it. but we live in a high cost area of the country, in a metropolis and amongst pretty liberal, non-religious folks so i guess the norm here is to not have very many kids, if any at all.
If I had a nickel for every time some one said "You sure have your hands full" I would be a rich woman. It is so had not to when they said it and say something snotty. I'm really itching for #6, but I'm not looking forward to the comments from total strangers.

I don't think that I can ever make a permanent BC decision. I have several friends who had a tubal or vas and later regretted it....on of them has 7 children and has now done several rounds of IVF to achieve a preganancy after she had a tubal and even attempted a reversal.

I don't know how many children we will end up with, and I don't know if that baby fever will every go away.
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#78 of 91 Old 09-23-2008, 07:46 PM
 
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Yes! I knew it! If we wait on the permanent birth control, we have more children. My husband SAYS he's done but he looks at me with his "aww, honey" baby look every time he holds a baby! He won't admit it, but smiles when I accuse him, the scoundrel. It's hard when you love your husband and love your kids to NOT want more, right? At some point, though, am I being irresponsible because we have no savings, lots of debt and I HAVE to work...to then bring another child into the family, the world. Babies are just pure joy. Maybe it's like a drug addiction! Even when mine is teething and coughing with a cold and whining at me to hold him 24-7, I am SO glad he is here with us.

I have only NOT nursed for a year in the past 9 1/2. My entire adult life I have had a baby. It's a serious lifestyle change to NOT have one and I'm just not sure how to prepare for that, transition there...I might as well be moving to Mars!

Oh, and it doesn't help that birth control just sucks!

I remember worrying last time if the baby would be healthy or it was "my turn" to have something go wrong. I imagine that worry might get stronger with each consecutive baby.

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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#79 of 91 Old 09-23-2008, 09:26 PM
 
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joining. i haven't seen any other posts here by mamas in blended families but i guess i'll be the first
We're a kind of blended family although I never think if it like that!
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#80 of 91 Old 09-24-2008, 09:28 AM
 
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I really don't think that I'm done yet, but the idea of more c/s really scares me. Especially since I have a t scar and the recovery was the worse. I'm thinking maybe 1 more when I'm like 40, I'll be 34 in Jan. My DH wants me to get my tubes tied because I really went through a tought time when I had my c/s in Sept 07.
I haven't told him that I want at least 1 more. For me I think it is like an addiction. We also don't have any savings. I have debt, but DH doesn't. Plus we have 4 DC in private school. I think once this baby is able to go to school, I'll go to work, but that's not for at least 4 yrs.

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#81 of 91 Old 09-24-2008, 12:36 PM
 
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We have kids in private school too (Waldorf), which is non negotiable. We won't have more than three there at a time, though as it only goes through 8th, grade.

I just talked to a woman last night who got pregnant on the copper IUD and then her husband got a vasectomy and had THREE consecutive infection issues at his surgery site- yikes. After I shared those stories, my dh said, "Well, I guess we'll just never have sex again. You can find some lover who is impotent." And I said "And you can find a post-menopausal woman to sleep with." haha!

I know a few women who have gotten pregnant after a vasectomy too. Babies happen!

Thanks for engaging in the conversation. I'm sure it's not a new one to this board! It's so nice to have people to talk with who understand my baby crazed self (NOT like my circle of friends/family).

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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#82 of 91 Old 09-24-2008, 01:33 PM
 
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Yeah, some people just don't understand. They keep asking how many more I want. I don't know, we'll see. What I do know is that I don't want to tie my tube, it's too final of a move to make.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#83 of 91 Old 10-03-2008, 05:54 PM
 
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As to meals...we all eat together at the table every night of the week. I cook from scratch every night of the week. I wish we could afford to go out more but really it's just the local burrito joint once a month!

Did you find that your cycles came back later with each baby, or earlier? I'm still awaiting mine, now at 16 months pp. My first was 14 mos, and the other two were 15 mos. I guess mine are taking longer each time and I wonder if that is common.

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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#84 of 91 Old 10-04-2008, 08:25 AM
 
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As to meals...we all eat together at the table every night of the week. I cook from scratch every night of the week. I wish we could afford to go out more but really it's just the local burrito joint once a month!

Did you find that your cycles came back later with each baby, or earlier? I'm still awaiting mine, now at 16 months pp. My first was 14 mos, and the other two were 15 mos. I guess mine are taking longer each time and I wonder if that is common.

Unfortunately my cycles ALWAYS come back the next month after the baby is born. With my first DC I hadn't even stopped my PP bleeding:

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#85 of 91 Old 10-09-2008, 02:05 AM
 
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going back to the last conversation...

i had my tubes tied after #4 and, despite all the things we deal with (autism, adhd and food allergies) with our kids, and my physical problems, i still feel like it was the dumbest thing i ever did.

one of my best friends just had a baby and i got to be there and see her born and i was so happy for them, but at the same time i feel like the worst friend ever cuz i am so jealous! ridiculous, no? i cry every time i see her.

i would dearly love to have 6 or 7 kids. i just made a panic decision b/c i was scared of having another c-section (at the time all i'd heard were horror stories) and we are, um, seriously broke, anyway. i wish the thought had never crossed my mind.

i want a reversal, even tho the people around me IRL think i'm nuts to even think about it. (not like i have the money for it anyway, but should the funds ever come my way... i'll do it!)

"give me life, give me pain, give me myself again" - tori amos
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#86 of 91 Old 10-09-2008, 03:40 AM
 
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We're a kind of blended family although I never think if it like that!
We are a blended family as well. DH and I are expecting our second child together, though this will be #5. :
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#87 of 91 Old 10-14-2008, 10:13 AM
 
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arismama, at least three of us have children with two dads, and there is another stepmum around- I don't remember who, though. Anyone know?
I'm the stepmom with many! I have four DSC and I would dearly love to add to our family but DH says no. My wish to the universe is that he will change his mind.

I've been in deep cleaning mode for the past few days and ended up shampooing the carpet in the living room and dining room. It was so gross! I think I need to start doing that at least every couple of months. We also rearranged the furniture in the living room and dining room to maximize the space. The kids come home tonight so it will be our first test run to see if we can all fit around the table comfortably now. It's difficult to have 6 people living in 1100 sq ft!

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#88 of 91 Old 10-14-2008, 11:29 AM
 
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I don't think we had much more than that before the extension was built At the moment I'm feeling extremely done- last night my breastfed, coslept, plugged-with-a-pacifier baby woke up between every 20 and 45 minutes, even after I poured a bottle of calpol down his throat. I spent the morning with five babies aged between 4 and 16 weeks, and you know what? I didn't want another one. This is so weird, but so nice.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#89 of 91 Old 10-14-2008, 02:20 PM
 
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It's definitely not impossible to have the 6 of us living in 1100 sq ft but it does force me to be creative in how that space is used! It also makes us not do the pack-rat thing which is a big tendency for both DH and I.

I have had those feelings in the past that there is no way that we could possibly add another human to our family, especially during times when I am getting us ready to take a trip. Or this summer when DH had to be at work early and I was trying to get everyone ready for the day, including myself as well as feed them breakfast, pack their lunches and make sure that I had what I needed for work. All I could think during that time was "it would be insane to add a baby to this!"

But I have slowly been making changes to our house and also letting DH take over more of the morning responsibility. He came up with a morning checklist recently so the kids know exactly what they need to do before heading out the door so it requires very little input from us except to say "What still needs to be checked off?" So now I am leaning more towards the idea that it is totally possible to add someone else to our family. Hopefully DH will come around one day.

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#90 of 91 Old 10-14-2008, 07:00 PM
 
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I am getting and about our lack of space and our stuff. I don't want to brag but our house is under 500sqft and it is doing my head in. Winter is on the way and we will all be inside more so I have been shifting the deckchairs on the Titanic to see if it will make any difference. Maybe it will but maybe the only advantage will be that we won't be too cold this winter with us all breathing indoors and that will reduce our fuel bills.

Are we done? who knows. I dismantled the cot last week after almost 6 years of use by the girls. It is now in the shed and the mattress has gone to the dump but I don't know if I want to keep it or not. It is a Brio bedside cot with a cool slidey up and over side - do you want it Helen?

Dh was telling me yesterday that if we had a boy Harvey would be a cool name, or Daniel... he hasn't given up yet....

Shall we have a new thread for October? We are halfway through already! Where is Baltic Ballet when you need her?
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