I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.
It sounds like your husband may need to understand what you are going through on a level other than logical. I don't believe abuse can be understood on a logical level. There is nothing logical about it. It's horrible and ugly and senseless. He needs to understand that you dealing with your issues may not make much sense to him, or that you may act in ways he never thought you would, or you may do things that confuse him and make him feel uncomfortable or hurt.
You are trying to heal yourself, and maybe that is what he can keep in the forefront of his mind. He may not understand why you are doing what you are doing, but you are trying to get to a better place. He just needs to hang on, respect the space you need, or whatever your wishes are, and wait it out.
Right now, it sounds like you need the freedom to be able to say who can touch you and who can't. Because you didn't have that when the abuse occured. Having complete control over your body, and keeping intimate encounters to a minimum is your chosen method to heal. There is nothing wrong with needing to do this.
I would suggest, like the other posters have, on trying to find some kind of sexual abuse survivors group. Maybe he could attend with you (if both of you felt comfortable with that). There, if he could hear other people talk about what they have gone through, how abuse does affect intimacy and trust throughout life, etc, and it might make some sense. Or at least give him some kind of insight.
If groups and public sharing are not your thing, there are some good books that deal with overcoming abuse, and maybe by reading some of them, it would help him too.
Maybe you can show affection in other ways. Leave notes for him, expressing how much you do care, or do things that you know he likes that do not involve physical touch. Explain to him that this is what you feel comfortable doing, to look for these different ways of expressing your love for a till you feel ready to be physically intimate again.
Also, would it help if you told him what you needed from him?Right now, you may not need/want him to touch you, but is there something he could do for you that would help you where you are at?
Like anothermama mentioned, just try to keep communication open, even if it is strained or hard at times.
Here's another wish to hang in there and get through this hard time.