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Old 04-18-2004, 03:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Nearly two weeks ago I told DH find a marriage counselor and just today he finally got a call back about it.
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Old 04-18-2004, 03:45 AM
 
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SmashingHP

I'm so sorry this is so difficult for you. I have to admit that when I read this last post from you, the image of your dh humiliating your little boy about going to the bathroom resurfaced in my head and made all of this anger swell up inside.

My situation is not like yours at all. My husband was not abusive. So, I think maybe that impacts how things have been after we split. But we did split and it's really been okay. Good even. Our ds had surgery the other day and his dad came to stay at my place that night for his own peace of mind. I realized with him being there how peaceful my home had become since we split. All of the tension immediately resurfaced and I couldn't wait until he was gone again so my home would be calm and safe again. As I said, he was not abusive - just emotionally isolating... maybe bordering on emotionally abusive.

Anyway, it's not easy, by any stretch of the imagination. I'm in school. I take out many loans to ensure that I can be home with ds, not have to leave him in daycare. My budget is very tight. I almost never get "me" time (I'm either with ds or in class or having to study). But it's so worth it. Let me just repeat that. It is SO worth it. My home is calm and emotionally safe.

Why don't you just take the steps? Start investigating, little by little. See if you can get a lawyer to give you a free consult, just so you know what your options are. If you can get peace of mind that way - knowing how the law will work for you, that you might not have to lose your home, etc. - it will most likely empower you.

Take care.
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Old 04-19-2004, 11:20 AM
 
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Old 04-19-2004, 03:54 PM
 
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's to you
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Old 04-19-2004, 11:24 PM
 
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It is time to stop deminzing working mother and single mothers
IF we stop doing it, more women will have courage to leave bad husbands
NO evey babysitter is bad. There are many great, stimulatiing and kind day care arrangemnts
And no, they will nmot be raising your child you will be
What you do at home coutns twice as muhca s what they do in day care
Daycrea with Y a or JCC offer fincial assistance
If you leave someone who treates you like crap....your chidlren will learn that women are stong and not door mats
as muhc as I ahte divorece, I am gald I did nto ahve to grow upw ith gambling father
Nad we did ntoe at unhealthy foods either
Plus, amny women find way to work out of their house ( my mom did editing at home)
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Old 04-20-2004, 10:01 PM
 
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I am so sorry. Please, don't let fear of working keep you in an abusive relationship. I have always had to work part time and, while I probably won't be able to home school, it has been easy to AP, and I know my ds has a better life because of my $$ contribution. I understand your fear, but it is possible to find a work situtaion that isn't what your mother had. Plus, you will be entitled to child support, and possibly spousal support for a while since you have not been workng.
If you can get some counseling just for you, you may find that you are better able to clearly view your situtation and make the right decision.
I remember that you were moving to CA? If you are in Northern CA, and need some resources, pm me and I can see what I can turn up.
ETA~~there is real quality child care out there, we had to look hard, but we are so blessed by our Waldorf Family Home daycare that ds will continue to go there a few mornings per week when I am home after baby comes.
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