I'm not in Buffalo, though I am going into nursing (nurse midwife).
His mother was a single welfare mother who dated drug and alcohol addicts. Her only plan was to get her little pains in the butts (should be kids) to age 18 alive, and she didn't succeed everytime.
He never had a positive role model. He hides behind false pretenses... "We don't have to be rich, we just have to get by, and we always get by...!" Uh, no we don't. "Well, we've survived." We won't always survive if we don't have enough money for food!
I think one of his frustrations is because everybody said I wasn't going to make it. They said my temper would get in the way, and I'd piss everybody off. I've dealt with a lot of crap at the college, as I've mentioned before, and I've only gone off the handle once when I was really drunk to somebody who was quite understanding and deserved a good yelling at. They said I wasn't going to get elected to Student Senate, and look, I was the prime candidate for Student Senate member of the year (until they decided they weren't going to give out that award this year, which is another story). They said I wasn't going to do well... I made deans list last semester.
My mother said I'd do bad. My husband didn't think I'd make it. And a "friend" (who I no longer associate with) seemed gleeful when telling me I was going to fail.
I proved them all wrong.
Yet still my husband doesn't see the point. He thinks going to college means I'm sitting on my ass doing nothing all day. He can't see what an investment this is!
I think part of it's jealousy. I have friends and I go out. I'm doing big things on the campus. I think he really is threatened by a successful woman.
My husband told me today that he doesn't think I should go any further because my career choice isn't going to get me anywhere. All the legal battles I'll have to face, all the problems I will have to overcome, all the close-mindedness of societ... midwifery isn't really a good business he says.
Maybe it's not a "good business" but I want to do it to help mamas!
I think he's threatened by my potential success. I'm a highly visible and approachable person with connections. Really, I'm not important at all, but I'm one of those "Most Likely To Succeed" type people who is loud, passionate, and educated.
My husband is a long haired, hippie/metalhead, musician (anti-drug), whose LAZY, manipulative, and can we say LAZY. He was talking about how he wants to start a band. I know musicians, and I could introduce him, but NOOOOO he wants to do it himself, but he doesn't want to put forth the effort to meeting people himself. He wants a band to fall on his lap, schedule the gigs for him, and play all the music he writes and sings, and then make millions of dollars. Can we say CLUELESS?!!!! He also wants to become mayor someday without a college degree and without having to speak publically. Yeah, uh huh. Sure, dear. So, I humor him, as he humors me.
I really hate him.