Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Buried under homework, papers, and
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But my husband is visiting his parents and dd from his first marriage who live in another state. I would have thought that would make Christmas (a big deal in my family) much more complicated, but it actually has been a breeze. I have done everything: all the shopping, wrapping, planning and cooking for the big Christmas Eve celebration and the cleaning. Well, the kids graciously helped with the cleaning. Its actually been the very best Christmas I have ever had.
I don't miss him and I wish he would stay if it weren't for the whole bill paying thing. I go to school full time and his very generous salary pays our bills. I appreciate what he does and do the lions share of child care and home care activities.
I have the most fabulous time at school and am really blossoming there. My husband has a Bachelor's in Business Administration from one of those accelerated programs just so he can tell HR he has a degree. I plan on going to grad school. Based on variious comments he has made, I don't think he really cares much for this. He also hates his job, but hasn't found anything else that would work beyond moving us to his very small rural town out West. I lived there for a bit and I couldn't live there permanently.
Anyway, I realized today that I don't miss him at all. I didn't even want to talk to him. I don't care how his Christmas was, I don't care what he did, and I don't care, period. Its not even spiteful, I just don't need to be involved in his emotional drama; I have my own life and interests.
The kids are having a blast as well. My oldest, who fights constantly with my husband/his step-father, has been an absolute angel. Its nice to see the real him, not just the tough surly pre-adolescent exterior we are usuallly graced with.
I don't want advice, I just wanted to get this off my chest. I feel like my marriage, as such, is over. I'm sad, but not angry. I don't know if/when divorce will be an option, but that's just the way things are. He's not a bad person, I just don't think we have much in common beyond a mortgage, a checking account, and two children. I put on his robe briefly yesterday and his lingering smell suffocated me. That really cemented it in my mind.
I hope all of you had a Merry Christmases (if you celebrate), I know I have had a wonderful holiday full of peace and joy.