Things you would change about dh - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 38 Old 01-07-2005, 04:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was thinking all the things I would change about my dh. So here is a list

1. He had more patience
2. He was not a neat freak and would stop harping about the house!(BIG one for me)
3. Wish he was more quiet.
4. Wish he was a vegetarian
5. His nose
6. His sex drive( wish it was lower)
7. His mother( I know that is not him, but I can still wish)
8. His age younger
9. His eye colour
10. He was into more natural living and more supportive of Home schooling.

Those are the main ones. He knows about 7 of them.

So what would you change about your dh. I have been married over 16 yrs so the list would of loooked different 12 years ago.

He has told me some things he wished he could change about me.
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#2 of 38 Old 01-07-2005, 10:37 PM
 
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I my dh pretty much just the way he is. After over 20 years of marriage, I don't think he's going to change much at this point.

He has quirks that drive me crazy sometimes. I'd like it if he were a tad more motivated to make more money, but there are some trade-offs with that, and I'm able bodied, so if I'm not happier with our income, I could do something career-wise to make more money, too. I'd like it if he were neater, but I'd like it if I were neater, too. I'd like it if he could get projects done faster around the house, but he does very high quality work.

All in all, I'll take him just the way he is.
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#3 of 38 Old 01-07-2005, 11:49 PM
 
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My dh is great and we are very happy - but yes, I have a list and yes I've accepted that ain't none of it gonna happen

1) higher energy level (he is very laid-back and always was)
2) more enthusiastic - he's is real even-keel, which is great since he is never too down or angry or frustrated, but he also is never too excited
3) liked cleaning - he does his share but he hates every minute of it
4) less of a procrastinator (except i am too - so if he was less of one he might get more on me about it)
5) more verbal
6) more proactive
7) not so much a pessimist

He knows every one of these. The list I have for me is a million times longer than teh one i have for him.
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#4 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 03:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veggie4ever
Those are the main ones. He knows about 7 of them.
which 7?
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#5 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 03:45 AM
 
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I'd love to say I wouldn't change a thing but that would be total BS. :LOL The only thing that really bothers me about him is that he tends to put himself first. He can be quite selfish at times. Other than that I don't mind his irritating little quirks, they're what make him the man I love.
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#6 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 03:47 AM
 
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I wish he would talk to me.

I would like a little romance once in a while.

I just don't feel valued or important anymore.

Also less criticial.

Would go to church as a family

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#7 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 05:24 AM
 
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The only thing I would change about my dh is that I wish he would be more questioning of authority. He tends to just go along with whatever he is told without questioning it, thinking about it or learning about it on his own. Other than that, I think he's perfect. He's been gone since July and in Iraq since September or October (can't remember exactly) and he still found time to write me a sappy poem that made me cry.

Mamawanabe, I bet more than one of those things are your list would change if the first one were addressed.

Angela, tell your dh just that you feel undervalued.

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#8 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 08:31 AM
 
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my dh and I have been married 3 years... here's my list:
1. He needs to brush his teeth in the morning- every day!
2. He needs to ask for sex when he wants it- not just hope I "get the hint".
3. garbage... TAKE IT OUT DUDE! In my book garbage is a dh's duty!
4. DO NOT talk down to the mommy about her mommy-ing!
5. lose the boob-envy!
6. Being a sahm isn't a volunteer position- I need some freakin' $ sometimes, without having to ask a zillion times like a poor teenager or something!
7. Don't offer to watch the baby and then roll your eyes at me when I want to take you up on it- he's your damned baby too and mommy needs more than 2 hours of free time in 2 years!
8. stop pulling the blankets off me at night.
9. Be kinder to me. If you know the baby is going to nurse all night and I'm going to have to just lay there and take it please be kind to me. Let me read in bed instead of pouting about the light being on!
10. Think to do little nice things for me.
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#9 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 02:47 PM
 
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I can only think of one thing that comes to mind immediately that I would change about my Dh that is of any significance.

I wish he would love his children as much as he loves me.

The other insignificant things are:

better memory
better listener
less body hair
bigger arm muscles

but these things don't really matter to me or I wouldn't have chosen to marry him, they are just some of the differences between him and the Prince Charming I imagined marrying when I was a girl.
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#10 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 02:52 PM
 
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anything I could think of would be seriously petty. and I hate perfect so.
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#11 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 02:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna
anything I could think of would be seriously petty. and I hate perfect so.
Once again the lovely Ard says it better than I could...
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#12 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 03:02 PM
 
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considering what he has been doing lately to put anything negative would be classless.
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#13 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 03:38 PM
 
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His eye color? No offense, but that seems like a very petty thing to change?! What's wrong with it?

The only things I would want to change would be for him - he suffers from depression and has some health problems which I would want to change so that his life would be better and more pleasant for him.

Other than that, I love him just the way he is. Sure, there might be little things you wouldn't mind being a little different but what about all of the wonderful things you like in your husbands? You might find someone with the changes but I bet he wouldn't have the things you treasure about your husbands.

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#14 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 04:23 PM
 
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I wish he would forget how to swear or blaspheme.
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#15 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 07:47 PM
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Only one main thing: His complete and total inability to say 'no' to a person if they happen to come from his native country . It matters not if he likes them or anything, just that they are Georgian is enough to allow them to bug the hell out of him and compel him to spend his very limited time and energy on them . THAT is a very major issue at our house right now, and very stressful. But this will never change, i am sure.
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#16 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 07:58 PM
 
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make more money ( he isn't earning anywhere near his potential)
not wear white socks with everything (including a suit). Seriously, The last time he wore black socks was our wedding b/c I asked and my maid-of-honor goaded him into it.

not much to complain about is it?
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#17 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 08:00 PM
 
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the complaints about physical stuff baffle me. did someone really say eye color? my dh doesn't look like he did when i met him, and i spose that by objective standards he was better looking then, and that everyone could look "better" or be thinner or have less (or just the right amount) of hair for whatever body part... but i love his looks and his body and his hair b/c they are the packaging for my true love, yk? i think that part of the reason this bothers me is that he has the same kinds of complaints about me (wishes my body were different) and it makes me feel terrible b/c i just don't understand how that's compatible with truly loving someone.

of course i have complaints about him. #1, i wish he loved my packaging just b/c it's me.

J.

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#18 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 08:07 PM
 
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I wish he would STOP,
-picking his nose constantly!!!! do you know how gross it is to have him hand you over an apple with the same hand he had up his nose????

- STOP pulling his penis 24/7. I don't friggin care of it's itchy! leave it alone!!!!!!!!!!

-stop scratching his a@@ and them smelling yourself!!!!!!! anyone ever see that funniest home video clip where there is a monkey sitting on this tree. he has his hand up his a@@, then he sticks it up his nose, and then he falls out of the tree? Well, THAT is my dh!!!!

- after ALL that, I wish he had a higher sex drive. or maybe it's because he is tired of me making him shower before the GIO???Hmmmmmmm



I LOVE him deeply and dearly BTW!!!!
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#19 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 08:17 PM
 
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I agree with you Rubidoux, I love every part of my Dh's packaging because it is his. Anything I would change is just the difference between him and my fantasy man, but I love him anyway he is or I wouldn't have chosen him. Looks don't matter much to me. I am also lucky enough that he doesn't care how I look either and loves my packaging just the way it is (and trust me, it ain't the same package it was wrapped in when he met me 10 years, 2 children, and about 100lbs. ago)
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#20 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 08:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow I put this here for fun. Gee I did not realize how petty I was.
I was being totally honest he has always known I wish his eye colour was different.
I married him because of his personality. He knows he is the oppisite looking of the type I like.
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#21 of 38 Old 01-08-2005, 09:34 PM
 
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The only thing I would change about DH would be to make him like giving massages.
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#22 of 38 Old 01-09-2005, 11:16 AM
 
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I second that motion, especially when I was pregnant and still working. Ohhhhhh, the agony!
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#23 of 38 Old 01-09-2005, 11:19 AM
 
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Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Neither of us are perfect, we both have faults and anything that should be changed needs to be worked on together. We chose to be together, he chose to be ds's dad and we accept eachother as is. We still try to grow as a couple and a family, but it's something we do together. Sure there are some things that are hard- I am vegetarian and he isn't, etc. but that's not something I'd ever want to change. It's part of who he is and changing that would alter him...........we just work out compromises. In other words, it's not a problem about *him* that he eats meat, it's a problem for *us both* to deal with together that we eat differently sometimes and need to think about how we raise ds.

We're both really intense and we do fight but ultimately we realize we're fighting over a situation, not eachother.
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#24 of 38 Old 01-09-2005, 12:57 PM
 
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I love my dh, but sure there are things I wish were different about him.

- Less lazy. Take out the trash, pick up after himself, take care of the kids w/ out complaining, etc.
- More hygenic. Brush teeth, wear deoderant, shower more often.
- Lose weight, grow back hair, no grey. We're young... he looks older. He's only 26 and is going gray, and has a recieding hair line. He had a very nice body when we started dating but now he's got a big belly and 'man boobs'. I need to lose weight too though so I can't complain too much about that one.
- Be kind to me and the children, instead of yelling and 'bitchin'. Be romantic like he used to be.

Sarah : , mama to Lucas (8) , Ryan (5) : , Andrew (1yr) , and someone new : due early Dec.
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#25 of 38 Old 01-13-2005, 06:13 AM
 
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Physically, I wouldn't change a thing. My man is HOT. However there are a few things.

- I wish he would take better care of his teeth.
- I wish he would take better care of his health, in general. He drinks, smokes and eats gas station hot dogs!
- There is the farting under the covers thing...probably due to the hot dogs.
- I could use some time away from the kids, but we're working on that one.
- My DH has Peter-Pan syndrome. It's what I love about him, but sometimes I wish he would act like a responsible adult for a change! (never gonna happen, I am aware of this...)
- Oh yeah, I wish he liked sex. I'm reaching my sexual peak at 30, and he's way past his prime. Not a good match in that department.

"The best things in life aren't things."

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#26 of 38 Old 01-14-2005, 07:02 PM
 
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OH MY! I am laughing (and gagging) at some of these things and feeling really grateful to be married to a georgous, sexy, smart, helpful, grown up man with the same sex drive as me.

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#27 of 38 Old 01-15-2005, 02:33 AM
 
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I wish that dh was not so lazy. He comes home from work and lays down- and his job is very not so demanding!
I have only a few pictures of him without him laying down- either on the bed or the couch.
Not so selfish! HE always thinks of himself it seems- from the little things to the bigger things.
Be more romantic
Spend more time with me- and like it- not cause I asked- or he felt he HAD to
More outgoing- I wish he wanted to just take a walk- or go for a car ride- ANYTHING!!!
I wish he also had more self confidence.
I also wish that he would leave me alone about the way the house looks- I am trying so hard- and it never seems to be good enough for him!
Thats all for now!
Em
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#28 of 38 Old 01-15-2005, 07:42 PM
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Generally, he is wonderful, and I loathe to want to change any of it. The only things that do bother me are how he takes care of himself (he eats total crap and is overweight, and smokes), which I am working on but can't do much about right now. That just scares me, to think of him having health problems from it all.

I also wish he wasn't passive-agressive. If he has a problem, I want him to tell me, not deny it when I ask but then act like a total child around me, since it turns out there really IS a problem.
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#29 of 38 Old 01-15-2005, 07:55 PM
 
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I think my hubby pretty much kicks a@@. He's just as hot as he was the day we met, he's smarter, more selfless, and more passionate than he was then. The only things that I think need to change, are the things he can only change himself.

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#30 of 38 Old 01-15-2005, 08:08 PM
 
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the only change i wish i had the nerve to make with dh is the amount of time he spends away from us with all the sports and hobbies he has...
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