whats the most insensative thing Dh or partner has said??? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
peacefulmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Nebraska(do ya feel my pain)
Posts: 472
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ok here is mine...yesturday i bought a maternity swimsuit...we have alot of swim parties this July I am 4 month preggo..with my 3rd, dear hubbie was in the room when I was trying it on and said I remember when your boobs looked like this and actually lifted one up...
then said here you lift it up like it used to be...let me tell you I wanted to nice huh
peacefulmom is offline  
#2 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 12:43 PM
 
nonconformnmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: in the wilderness
Posts: 5,827
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ouch! I feel your pain. When I was several months postpartum with this last baby, I was commenting on how I was happy that I could fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, although I had a bit of belly 'spillage' over the waistband. My husband said that my belly was like "the Michelin man" (cartoon character that is a stack of tires). I said, "Hey! That's not nice. I prefer to think of it as a 'Pillsbury Dough Boy' belly."

'Michelin man'! Sheesh. :
nonconformnmom is offline  
#3 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 01:11 PM
 
abbylotus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Northern Mama
Posts: 586
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"Sometimes you act just like you mother!" :LOL

There are three things I learned about life. It goes on. -Longfellow

 

stillheart.gifRIP DH DJ Delicious but mucho gracias for our children and all I have learnedstillheart.gif

abbylotus is offline  
#4 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 01:16 PM
 
Starr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 6,236
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"Oh, you hair looks good. Trying something new? Not nearly as plain as before." :

Halfways through supper.."So what exactly is this?"
Starr is offline  
#5 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 01:59 PM
 
fluffernutter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: The Drunken Clam
Posts: 2,323
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DH is full of gems.

"How can you be tired? You were in bed until 9, and it's not like you did anything today." Riiight. I just chased 2 preschoolers around all day. What'd you do? Oh yeah, that's right. You sat at a desk. Gee, you must be really worn out. Let me cook dinner for you while you lay down and watch t.v.
fluffernutter is offline  
#6 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 02:29 PM
 
MomBirthmomStepmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: southern CA/inland empire
Posts: 1,915
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This was a BAD one...

Last year I gave birth to a little girl whom I placed for adoption. This past Christmas/holiday season was her first, and I was feeling pretty emotional the entire time. I missed her, and was just down.

Sometime right after New Year's, he'd decided it was enough basically and said 'it's okay for you to be upset, I just don't want it taking over our lives'..

Which, okay, may be true, but OMG I was SO hurt by that comment. It sticks with me and I still just DO NOT talk to him about her, or anything regarding her or my feelings for her. Don't want him thinking that me missing my child is taking over our lives or anything...
MomBirthmomStepmom is offline  
#7 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 02:43 PM
 
BumbleBena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 2,087
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
BumbleBena is offline  
#8 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 03:40 PM
 
momo7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: hither, thither, and yon
Posts: 1,116
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Let's see...it was 1990 (do I have a long memory or what?) and we were living on military pay at the time. He would b%$#& at me for spending 50$ a week on groceries. We had one child at the time, who I stayed home with, and we were barely making ends meet. So he buys a car amplifier from his brother right...spends $200. So I was like "How can you spend THAT on a piece of audio equipment when we are barely getting by as it is?" So you know what he says? "When you get a job you can tell me how to spend my money." That's been 15 years ago...I STILL get pissed when I think about it. but thanks for making me relive the moment. :LOL

jen : mom to seven : wife to Rich 16yrs

 

 

Crazy mom of 9. grouphug.gif  A wife to one.  flowersforyou.gif

 

 

-Life is a long lesson in humility.-

 

James M. Barrie

momo7 is offline  
#9 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 04:11 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I honestly can't think of anything dh has said that I would call insensitive.

But, my ex had a real gem. In 1998, after my second miscarriage (and the miscarriages were after 3.5 years of trying to conceive), I was suffering from a really bad bout of clinical depression. I thought I was a terrible mother, a terrible wife, and I'd lost my babies because I didn't deserve them.

I was having a really bad day, and my ex said something - I don't even remember what - and I said, "the thing is I just don't care - I just want to die and it doesn't matter if I live or not". His incredibly sensitive and understanding response? "Stop saying things like that - I can't deal with it." I know living with someone who is depressed is difficult (he also had problems with depression), but some kind of support...help..something?...doesn't seem too much to ask...at least, that's what I thought.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#10 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 04:20 PM
 
lynsage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"If you can't lose the weight after you have the baby, are you going to have a gastric bypass?"
lynsage is offline  
#11 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 04:32 PM
 
onlyboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: FL
Posts: 3,755
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lynsage
"If you can't lose the weight after you have the baby, are you going to have a gastric bypass?"


Oh my. Seriously, that's insensitive.
onlyboys is offline  
#12 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 07:58 PM
 
BabyOsMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,376
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We were driving home from the hospital after I'd given birth to ds#2 5hours ago and dh says "You were whinier this time than you were with ds#1... that time you were just nasty." I really didn't have anything to respond with... wtf could I say? I was on a high because I'd just had the drug free birth I wanted and was proud that I did it myself (ie, no pitocin, etc).

Then after having fallen asleep that same day for 2whole hours (note I was 9hours post partum at this point), I woke up hungry and said I could go for poached eggs. His response "I suppose that means I have to get up and make you something to eat." I made my own poached eggs.

disclaimer: dh does actually help around the house and is an incredible husband/father, but the above comments will stay with me for probably ever. His defense was that he was really tired and he doesn't remember saying the first one. Yeah, HE was tired... having watched me birth a baby and all.
BabyOsMommy is offline  
#13 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 08:25 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You were whinier??? Help...

And, I can't even imagine the poached egg scenario!

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#14 of 53 Old 06-22-2005, 10:00 PM
 
broodymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Watching the rain
Posts: 7,366
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
my XH, when walking behind me - "ya know, you have what they call child-bearing hips"

at the time I was 18 years old, 5' 8", 110 lbs wearing a size 2!! ( those days are long gone :LOL )

Chaotic uc.jpg homeschool.gif mama to 5 plus a bonus one on the way.  stork-suprise.gif

chicken3.gif

broodymama is offline  
#15 of 53 Old 06-23-2005, 05:23 AM
 
DesireeH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 8,345
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
When I was pg the first time my butt got bigger before my belly did and dh said jokingly "is the baby in your belly or your butt?" I reminded him of this recently and he swears he wouldnt say something so stupid. I clearly remember!

Desiree

DesireeH is offline  
#16 of 53 Old 06-23-2005, 05:50 AM
 
kiahnsmum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NEW ZEALAND
Posts: 382
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
After having dd around 5 weeks after I had her, I decided that it was time to take the plunge and have a little "mom and dad" time. It was the first time we had sex since dd was born I was a little tense and worried about it being uncomfortable but it had been so long for dh and I wanted to get back in the saddles as soon as possible. Poor dh didnt last long I think the anticipation had been too much, anyway the first thing he said to be was "well that sucked"!
Lets just say that after my reaction that night I now wear the pants in the bedroom!!
kiahnsmum is offline  
#17 of 53 Old 06-23-2005, 04:42 PM
 
Brisen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Eastern Ontario
Posts: 6,874
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyBug & BabyBug
my XH, when walking behind me - "ya know, you have what they call child-bearing hips"
I would take that as a compliment! But then, I'm built like a skinny little boy. I'm surprised there was room for my kids to get their heads through the birth canal.

Mom to DS(14), DS(12), DD(9), DS(6), DS (4), and DS(2)  

***4***8****13***17***21****26***heartbeat.gif****35****40

Brisen is offline  
#18 of 53 Old 06-25-2005, 10:34 AM
 
Linda in OZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 398
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When I asked him why he married me.
"Cause your mother talked me into it."

Sucker
Linda in OZ is offline  
#19 of 53 Old 06-25-2005, 02:48 PM
 
cappuccinosmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: SW Pennsylvania
Posts: 5,628
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When our first ds was born, he was a miserable screamer. And I was overwhelmed and depressed. Several times, dh said "What are you doing to him? Why are you making him scream? I can't sleep." As if I didn't need a little sleep myself. Maybe he thought I was pinching the babe, just to make sure our ears were ringing 24/7 :

He said it again with this baby. But I called him on it this time.

Note to men:do not tell your newly postpartum wife that the baby crying is her fault. And if you think you can do a better job making the baby happy, don't sit there and criticise--just take the baby and give the wife a break!
cappuccinosmom is offline  
#20 of 53 Old 06-25-2005, 03:46 PM
 
Past_VNE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Under a roof of stars and clouds.
Posts: 5,061
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This isn't particularly insensitive, but it really sticks with me.

History: DH and I started dating in high school, right after I turned 16. We went to college together, flight school together and got married in 2000. We've been together nearly 12 years now all told.

In college, I was at his apartment, we were smoking pot (I think?) and he told me that he loved me very much and I was a great person, "...but you aren't the kind of woman I could ever marry."

We had been together for probably five years at that point. It hurt me soooo deeply, more than anything he ever said or did. Now, we have a good :LOL about it whenever it comes up.

SAHPilot Mama to a 5yoson, a 17 mo old daughter, and wife to .
Worried about your baby's head shape? PM me for craniosynostosis info!
Past_VNE is offline  
#21 of 53 Old 06-25-2005, 07:15 PM
 
ashleep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: NE Alabama
Posts: 1,429
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Past_VNE, that sucks!!! But I was cracking up at this:
Quote:
In college, I was at his apartment, we were smoking pot (I think?)
The 'I think' part had me laughing 'cause I've lost a good bit of my memory due to that silly green stuff. :
ashleep is offline  
#22 of 53 Old 06-25-2005, 10:32 PM
 
China white's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: My eyes on Mr. Smith, & my hands...
Posts: 2,579
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My father passed away 3 1/2 years ago. This past Christmas, I was having a particularly hard time with missing him & whatnot, and my husband pipes up with "You're just gonna have to get over it." :

I don't know that I'll ever get over him saying that to me, nevermind the hole in my life left by my fathers death.

Love & miss you, dad!!
China white is offline  
#23 of 53 Old 06-28-2005, 02:28 PM
Banned
 
Mydragonboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: In a pensieve.
Posts: 426
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DH commented, "Gee, Charlene and Julie have stayed slim all through their pregnancies. Wonder why you haven't this time?"
Mydragonboy is offline  
#24 of 53 Old 06-28-2005, 02:30 PM
 
Trish O's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
About four weeks ago (our 2nd DD is now 6 1/2 weeks) I asked my DH to bring me something (food or water I think) while I was nursing our DD. I had had a C-section after trying a VBAC for 26 hours of labor. His response was, "I didn't sign up to be your nurse maid."
He's had a couple of whoppers since then as well. I'm trying to chalk it up to the stress of having a 15 month old and a newborn. Hmm.
Trish O is offline  
#25 of 53 Old 06-28-2005, 02:53 PM
 
KyleAnn's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,792
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Aww, hugs fellow mamas-I do believe some of those warrant a punch in the nose....I have a little annoying one from yesterday.

We were getting ready to go to dh's softball game, and I walked out of the bathroom with a bandanna on my head (bad hair day ). Dh gave me a funny look, and I said, "What? Do you care that I'm going like this?"
He responds, "No..I won't be sitting with you at the game...."

Btw, I have been told I look purdy darn cute in my bandannas......

Maybe next time I'll just have to layer on the makeup and slut it up, parade around the ball park that way?
KyleAnn is offline  
#26 of 53 Old 06-28-2005, 07:01 PM
 
miranoron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: London, UK
Posts: 21
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KyleAnn
Aww, hugs fellow mamas-I do believe some of those warrant a punch in the nose....
More like a kick in the bollocks with a steel-toed boot. I can't believe some men can be so cruel and insensitive. My husband would be passed out on the floor, clutching his groin, if he ever said some of those things to me.
miranoron is offline  
#27 of 53 Old 06-28-2005, 11:42 PM
 
FuelJetA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: High Above the Chimney Tops
Posts: 606
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Past_VNE
This isn't particularly insensitive, but it really sticks with me.

History: DH and I started dating in high school, right after I turned 16. We went to college together, flight school together and got married in 2000. We've been together nearly 12 years now all told.

In college, I was at his apartment, we were smoking pot (I think?) and he told me that he loved me very much and I was a great person, "...but you aren't the kind of woman I could ever marry."

We had been together for probably five years at that point. It hurt me soooo deeply, more than anything he ever said or did. Now, we have a good :LOL about it whenever it comes up.
In my defense, we were pretty much wacked out of our skulls and I had just moved in with 2 girls, one with whom I had a big 'crush' on at the time and Past had just been getting on my nerves. I think it was a terrible thing to say but we are really So it's a moot point.

I do have to say that she is such a sweety that I can't think of anything she has said that is really insensitive besides cursing at me, which I REALLY dislike and she has pretty much quit that too.
FuelJetA is offline  
#28 of 53 Old 06-29-2005, 12:00 AM
 
FuelJetA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: High Above the Chimney Tops
Posts: 606
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I forget to mention this to DW and thought I could spare her the twinge of anger...

I commented to my mother how DW looks so good and that she is back into all her pre-baby clothes and how her legs are so fit from carrying the babe around in the sling and mei-tai that she doesn't have a bit of cellulite and her butt looks like it did when she was 17.

Her response...

"now she just needs to do some sit-ups."

I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything at all...I may have grunted. But that really peeved me off.

I thought that was an insensitivity worth mentioning!

BTW...DW looks great AND has a pretty flat belly, not quite as flat, but almost AND just as sexy. (What the heck, she just had a baby 6 months ago!)
FuelJetA is offline  
#29 of 53 Old 06-29-2005, 12:35 AM
tug
 
tug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 1,333
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hmm, about 4 hours ago, my dh told me that my fretting made me unbearable tonight and so he had to have several drinks just to tolerate me. this following having a sick 2 yr old at work with me today whom i was told to keep quiet b/c of a meeting at the office, plus ds is probably still sick so i'll have him at work tomorrow too, plus a co-worker called late this afternoon to basically tell me that we have a big, big problem at work that i'll have to deal with tomorrow. all of this on top of the usual dealing with my fussy 5 month old and my dad with alzheimers who lives with us.
tug is offline  
#30 of 53 Old 06-29-2005, 02:15 AM
 
blissful_maia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Alberta
Posts: 3,573
Mentioned: 22 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
My dp told me that my breasts looked like an old lady's with nothing left in them... empty beanbags.

Peaceful mama to three blissfully-birthed and incredible small people: dd10, dd7 and ds5. Always awed and so thankful to be a midwife.
blissful_maia is online now  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off