How long were you with your partner before having kids? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: How long were you with your partner before having kids?
ummm...9-12 months 86 18.18%
1-2 years 93 19.66%
3-4 years 81 17.12%
5-6 years 79 16.70%
7-9 years 78 16.49%
10+ years 56 11.84%
Voters: 473. You may not vote on this poll

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#91 of 114 Old 05-24-2005, 05:01 PM
 
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We both had children from previous relationships that each of us love like our own. My kids call Jeff Daddy, and Hunter calls me Mommy.

We have no children between ourselves at this point. I had my tubes tied 4 years ago. Someday when we have more money we may try invitro, but that is way ahead in the future. But we both have agreed that even if we never have our "own" together that our family is still great the way that it is.

Christina:~Student mama to Collyn(13), Haylea-Ann (9):, and Natalie (8) , and SO to Jeff.
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#92 of 114 Old 05-24-2005, 05:54 PM
 
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We conceived dd 7 months after we started dating. We got married 4 months later. We will celebrate our 3rd anniversary in September and boy: #2 is on the way shortly now. Of course this is far from what would be described as the ideal situation in this day and age, especially since I was 21 when I got pregnant, but I couldn't feel more blessed with the way things have turned out.

Although dd's conception wasn't exactly planned, we were using the "pull it out method" so we weren't clueless. I knew DH was an exceptional man and he still amazes me everyday. He is able to support us comfortably and I can SAH. Fortunately we still get along wonderfully despite the lack of together time before children. I did lots of partying in college and was pretty sick of it about a year before concieving. Although DH has traveled in the musician circuit for most of his life, he rarely got drunk and never did the illegal stuff...just one sign of his forbearance! He was ready for a family by the time we met and so was I (I just didn't know it :LOL )

I know my path is not for everyone but I am so happy to have started a family when I did. I have never been more satisfied with my life and I have never felt so comfortable with myself as I do now.
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#93 of 114 Old 05-24-2005, 06:10 PM
 
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we will be together over 3 yrs by the time our baby is born

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#94 of 114 Old 05-24-2005, 07:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveChild421
I will never regret the decision to start young (I'm 20, DP 23)- I felt the time was right- I did what most people do in their 20's in my teens and we want a large family so I figured we better start young
More power to you! I see so many people wait for so long, and I just want to shout a warning. I had ds when I was 24...then spent over 3 years ttc, only to have 2 miscarriages...then a "surprise" pregnancy after I kicked out my ex that also ended in miscarriage. It ended up taking me 10 years to have baby number 2...a month before my 35th birthday. Now, I'm having #3, and pondering whether to go ahead with my much-wanted 4th or not...I'm a lot older than I'd expected to be at this stage in the baby-making game.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#95 of 114 Old 05-24-2005, 08:36 PM
 
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Dh and I were married 5 years before we got pregnant. He had said from the beginning that he wanted to wait 5 years and it was pretty much to the day!!

I had some major baby pains along the way, but overall I'm glad we waited!
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#96 of 114 Old 05-25-2005, 07:54 PM
 
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Dh and I were married for 3 yrs when we started trying. Two yrs later we conceived our sweet lil girl.


Jenn
lil babe
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#97 of 114 Old 05-25-2005, 10:10 PM
 
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10 years! We traveled, had lots of fun together, really grew together and then decided to marry after 5 yrs, after another 5 decided it was time to start a family. Had #1 at 34, #2 at 36 and when #3 arrives, i'll be turning 41! I'm glad we waited, we had great experiences together and parenting in sync has been a breeze.

I wouldn't change a thing if I had the chance. We are financially very comfortable and I don't really 'long' for anything, we'd had a home for a while when #1 was born. I enjoy being a mother at this point in my life, I've got it all and am truely grateful for it.
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#98 of 114 Old 05-25-2005, 10:18 PM
 
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We found out we where preggo just a few days before our 2nd anniversary.
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#99 of 114 Old 05-26-2005, 12:55 AM
 
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We were together over ten years before having Bleuet. It gives us a lot of perspctive, like when the marriage part is on a back burner or when Bleuet is difficult / inconvenient -- heck, we've been through much longer things than toddlerdom!

I felt sorry for some of the women in my childbirth education class. Some were showing signs (or saying straight out) that the honeymoon wasn't over and they were really inhibited about birthing in front of their partners, lest anything ungraceful happen. Llike vomiting, blood-n-guts, and uhhhh... projectile poop. Let me say that I personally would not seek out the projectile poop (or whatever), but it was a relief to know Mr. Bleu already was perfectly aware that I poop, fart, sweat, curse, puke and sometimes am not totally 1,000% fairy-princess pretty, you know? Having more time together before a baby made the whole post-baby sex thing waaaaay less urgent since we'd hads our ups and downs already -- no, it made everything less urgent.

In some ways I wish I had had the chance to start our family when we were both younger, but overall, I'm happy with what I got.
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#100 of 114 Old 05-26-2005, 01:06 AM
 
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We dated for 5 years before getting married, and were married almost 2 years when Noah was born. So thats almost 7 years. I think it was just enough time. We were comfortable enough with each other that nothing grosses us out. Dh didnt even blink during my labor and c-section. He even changed my pads for me when the incision hurt so badly i had trouble bending over.
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#101 of 114 Old 05-26-2005, 07:51 AM
 
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We were married about 4 months after our first date. We started ttc pretty much immediately after we married, and dd was born a year and a half later.

I thought the timing was fine. We've grown together as partners and as parents. I don't really know how waiting longer would have been better.
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#102 of 114 Old 05-26-2005, 11:07 AM
 
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My husband and I met and 6 weeks later we were engaged. We wanted to wait over a year until we got married, live together and get to really know eachother better. We had no plan to start a family at that point. The doctors actually told me that I would be unable to have children. What a wonderful surprise though...we got pregnant 3 1/2 months after we met!!! We waited to get married as we had originally planned. I think that the only disadvantage is that there hadn't been a whole lot of discussing parenting and family living issues beyond just the two of us. There are times that we don't see eye to eye and it can be hard to discuss these things as they arise. All in all, we work really well together as parents. I think since we are so committed to eachother and our daughter, that it works out well for us!

Beth, Mama to dd , wife to dh , teacher :~ Living, Loving, Learning...everyday.
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#103 of 114 Old 05-26-2005, 11:40 AM
 
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well we have known each other since kindergarten but got together as a couple a little over a year before Sophia was concieved...I already had 2 girls so he had a practice run...we never really had a lot of "couple" time alone but we managed...my girls were older so...

We moved in together in May of 2002 after a year dating and Sophia was concieved in September that year, born July 2003 so over 2 years before she was born...we have coped very well as a couple and are very strong and close at this point though there was some adjustment when she was first born and I am sure there will be when this little sweetie comes too.
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#104 of 114 Old 05-27-2005, 03:45 PM
 
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Yeah that's right Young, & ambitious, that's us.

Nine years later...
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#105 of 114 Old 05-27-2005, 06:09 PM
 
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We were together for jsut over a year when I got PG and almost 2 years when I had Lili.
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#106 of 114 Old 05-27-2005, 06:11 PM
 
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I couldn't vote.....I had a son when we hooked up!!!

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#107 of 114 Old 05-28-2005, 05:24 AM
 
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We met the summer of 96, got engaged april of 97, I moved in may 97, graduation night, ( i was **** in hs. he was out of college LOL) married april 98, were preg april/ may of 99, had twin girls Sept99, at just about 5 months, both passed away. What a trying time that was for us and out marriage(still is) started TTC right away, had dd jan 01, dd march 02, dd jan 04. Hopign to get preg again soon. Just about an event a year LOL

Melissa- homeschooling mom to Samantha ( 9) Gabby ( 8) Emma (6) and Diesel (12 months) and Rachel Rebecca Brock Erik Joe Noah 6-25-10 5 early miscarriages
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#108 of 114 Old 05-29-2005, 11:10 AM
 
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We were together for 7 years before child #1. We just had #3 a year ago, the oldest is almost 10.
I was determined to make sure the man I had babies with was the one i wanted to stay with for a good long time- thst is why we waited and so far, so good....
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#109 of 114 Old 05-29-2005, 11:18 AM
 
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We were together about 3 mths when I found out I was pregnant. We moved in together when our son was about 6 mths old. We got married right after he turned 3. We've been together for almost 9 yrs now and have added 2 more kids. Dh also had a son before we met, so I always new what kind of daddy he would be
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#110 of 114 Old 05-29-2005, 03:56 PM
 
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My husband and I had been married more than 11 years when our daughter was born, and had been together more than 15 years.

We're really glad we waited -- it gave us a chance to really bond as a couple. We've had a lot of great experiences together, and have also had time to resolve all of our issues.

As a result, we're now able to really focus on this new stage of our lives, without it causing any problems in our relationship. We already know how to communicate, how to resolve disagreements, etc. without anyone getting upset.

Also, I'm glad we waited because our financial situation is very different now than it was years ago. We've owned our own home for more than 7 years, have significant retirement savings, my husband's career is well-established, etc. We still have to be careful, especially since I'm a SAHM, but we're not living on the edge financially.

Sonja , 40, married to DH (42) since 5-29-93, DD born 11-3-2004, DS born 1-18-2007.
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#111 of 114 Old 05-29-2005, 09:13 PM
 
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I was 5 months pregnant at our wedding, so not very long!! :LOL I don't regret it, and wouldn't change it for the world. Our ds1 is now 6 yrs old. He sees our wedding video and always gets excited that he was there in mama's belly. He has actually beena big part of me gettingover being embarrassed about being pregnant out of wed lock. I think in some ways, this made having children easier for my dh and I, because we realized how much we could just make due with and didn't have to go through the "are we ready dance". Granted I was 24 witha college degree and so was my husband. He also had a good job, health insurance, and we were able to rent the studio apartment under his parents for $200 a month, and when we were short, his parents didn't care. So we were very lucky, not to mention how much we loved each other and really wanted the same things out of life. Now we're thrity with 3 boys and are very happy. Maybe we were just lucky, maybe it was just fate!

 
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#112 of 114 Old 05-29-2005, 10:01 PM
 
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We dated a few different times since 91' but basically it was just sex.We got together in 98' and were a little more serious.We married in May of 02' planning to travel and have fun, He moved in one month before the wedding. We decided not to have kids because I was almost 41 and he 38. Within 3 weeks I was pregnant. That was so challenging because we didn't have time to even adjust to being married. Now dd is 26 months.Our relationship has evolved into a great respect for each other as parents and people.You handle what you have to handle, kwim? DD is the best thing either of us has ever known.
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#113 of 114 Old 05-29-2005, 10:36 PM
 
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My amazing partner & I met one year ago today. We decided to move in together after 7 dates, and decided to TTC 9 mos. after meeting. And we did, immediately! I'm 3 mos. pregnant, have 2 kids from previous relationships, and have never ever been happier. I was so happy to read this whole thread & see folks who's relationships moved even faster than ours!! :LOL

My 1st child was born when I was 17, I don't even count THAT pathetic relationship. I never regretted having my dd for one moment though. My ds was born about 6 yrs. after I met my then partner, whom I married on our 8 yr anniversary. Three years after that, divorce.

If my DP & I decide to have one more child in the future, a fourth, (something we'd both like to do), it will be my first & only child ever born *actually* in wedlock!! :LOL

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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#114 of 114 Old 05-29-2005, 11:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by umbrella
We were married about 4 months after our first date. We started ttc pretty much immediately after we married, and dd was born a year and a half later.

I thought the timing was fine. We've grown together as partners and as parents. I don't really know how waiting longer would have been better.
I was happy to read someone with a story simmilar to ours.
We met in March got engaged in may got married the following year (in sept) and started trying to get pregnant right away. I got pregnant in march. We had a decent amount of time a sa couple before getting married and we are so glad we didn't wait b/c we wouldn't have had this baby and this baby needed us and we needed her.

Mom to Iris and Henry
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