I’m not all that fond of my husband these days. Mostly, his work schedule is so bad that it affects our entire relationship and family and for the most part we are just waiting out this bad stage.
BUT, I need to vent because something has been driving me CRAZY!
My husband does not make an effort with his friends or family and always expects me to maintain the relationship. A little of this is okay with me (I don't mind remembering birthdays or sending thank you notes) but things are getting worse.
Today is a perfect example. An old family friend of HIS is visiting her sister in our area. She called and (with little notice) wanted to get together today. In the end, I asked my husband if he would mind going alone because I’ve got too much going on and, basically, going would put me over the edge. Anyway, he just told me that he canceled today saying that Aya, our daughter, and I are sick so all of us, including him aren’t coming. I’m really pissed!
What would you all do in this situation? I guess I’m doubly irritated because I have been maintaining all of MY friends and family with little effort from DH for quite a while, which is not easy because we moved away from everyone we know and I've been working hard a making new friends and keeping up the the old ones...plus I have a big family. On top of that, I help him stay focused on staying in consistent communication with his family and close friends.
I almost feel like saying, “This is not my problem…I don’t even know this woman…if he looks like a jerk, that’s his concern”. Problem is that I feel badly for what is happening here but the only way to help seems to perpetuate this thing about all our social/family life being my responsibility.
I know this is long but I can't help but add the two e-mails from today:
This is from me, last night: (isn't it reasonable, considering we've been getting on terribly?)
Would you be up for going by yourself tomorrow? It's 12:30 and I'm still up, stressed. I really can't do with another day of stress and still take good care of Aya plus I've got to make lunch for Mano tomorrow, which will mean 2 days with absolutely no time to myself. It would be nice if I didn'g have to go tomorrow. Besides, we aren't getting along very well anyway. Maybe you would like to have some fun by yourself.
Then this is what I wrote today after he wrote telling me he lied and said that I was sick and inculded a warning that the women may call today to "check" on me!:
We need to talk about this. This is NOT what I had in mind when I asked if you would mind visiting YOUR friend without me. Aya and are not sick and I don't feel like lying to Ruth or your mother when they call. Besides if we were sick that only seems like a good enough reason for US not to go, not you.
Troll? Here's me...
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