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#1 of 11 Old 06-28-2006, 02:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I'm feeling a little testy, but I thought I'd post anyway.

I've been off bedrest and meds for about a week now, contractions have never stopped, I have between 8 and 13 every hour. MW appt. yesterday showed I'm 2-3 cm dilated and 70% effaced, with baby's head still down low. She stripped my membranes, DH and I BD'd last night, etc. Today I still hurt, still contracting, but not any more intense than they've ever been - just another stinking day.

This all really sucks - I know I'm only 37 weeks and should be happy to let her hang out in there as long as she needs, and the rational part of me understands that. But after all those weeks lying in bed, praying to keep her in, anticipating her arrival, being told she might come at any moment, weeks and weeks of exhausting contractions, feeling terribly uncomfortable and in pain of some sort constantly, and now feeling all conflicted about her even arriving and how much our lives are going to change, how I'm going to give everyone the attention they deserve, and now being in early labor forEVER, well, I'm not in a good frame of mind. Mind you, with both the boys, I got to about 2 cm, then my MW broke my water and got things going. So I've never even gotten this far all by myself before. Maybe my body is just really slow to progress.

Add to that the mother, father, MIL, FIL, sister, friends who call every hour to see how it's going and if anything's happening. Never mind I've told everyone I'll call them the moment something changes. I don't even want to go to church on Sunday because I don't want to have to explain to everyone multiple times that, no, the baby is not here yet, even though we all thought she would be by now.

And then I have to process payroll tomorrow, so I have to worry about maybe being in labor then and being unable to do that and figure out how to walk someone else in the office through that process. And my mom had planned to come next week, but if the baby isn't here by then, she needs to change her plans.

And I'm scared I won't really be able to tell when labor really kicks in (highly unlikely - I remember what active labor feels like), or I'll be in Target alone with the boys and my water will break all over the floor and I'll have to figure out how to get my laboring self along with the kids to the hospital, get DH there, get the boys somewhere else, etc., etc., etc.

And I don't know what's going to happen with the boys while I'm at the hospital anyway. Depending on the time of day (or night), we have a couple of vague options available, but none are ideal. My MIL would be my preferred choice, but she wants to be at the birth; my mom is 3 hours away; my sister has her own 2 kids and is 1/2 hour away; a friend has volunteered to come over, but - wonderful as she is - my boys aren't entirely comfortable with her (esp. DS2, for whom I'd really like there to be someone here he really likes) and I'd have to explain where everything is in the house, etc.

Oh, and DH's insurance benefits change July 1st, with our deductible (which I'm currently only $50 away from meeting) doubling, so if she doesn't come by then, we'll have to pay a lot more. Not a deal-breaker, just another straw to toss on this camel's back.

Whatever. I'm just ready to be done, but not willing to do anything like induce because I do understand deep down that none of these are really reasons to force her to come early, although she's obviously gearing up for something, right?

So that's us for now. :

But heartfelt congrats to all the babies who've been born recently!
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#2 of 11 Old 06-28-2006, 03:27 PM
 
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for you.
You've got a lot on your mind :
I wish I could help!
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#3 of 11 Old 06-28-2006, 03:56 PM
 
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Hnag in there! Nature knows best & baby will come when she is ready. Sounds like maybe you should talk to your MIL about watching your kids if it will be more helpful to you rather than having her at the hospital. She can always come with them after baby is born. Also, don't go to Target alone with your kids & then you won't have to worry about that scenario! Try not to stress out so much, your body will go into labor easier if you are relaxed & not so tense.
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#4 of 11 Old 06-28-2006, 04:01 PM
 
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Wow, thats a lot to think about! Hopefully you can take one thing at a time and everything will fall into place!

mama to L (4) and G (1.5)
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#5 of 11 Old 06-28-2006, 04:21 PM
 
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I feel your pain mama!! I finally go off bedrest on Saturday after 9 WEEKS!! I will be 37 weeks and in the clear to have a homebirth. (HURRAY) I have such cabin fever it is insane. :

My contractions have been from 8 - 20 or more an hour for two months -nonstop. Like you, I am afraid that after all this I wont know when it is the real deal. I have had cramps, contractions, back labor, sharp pains, etc. continuously. When someone asks how long my labor was, I will have to say MONTHS!!!! I bet there is a world record to be broken

I have spent SO long trying to keep the baby in there that I am now afriad to think about possibly having a baby next week! I am totally mentally unprepared for it.

On the other hand, I am so excited to leave my house on Saturday I can hardly contain myself.

I just wanted to let you know that I really do know how you feel. Just think that we made it this far and we dont have to worry about "Preterm" anything anymore!! I know that it is hard after all the contractions up to this point, but there is an end coming soon and you will soon beholding you baby and it will all have been so worth it.


Take care of you, mama.
Deb - in Colorado
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#6 of 11 Old 06-28-2006, 04:39 PM
 
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That's one big load to deal with...I hope things work out quickly.

Amy ~ Web Designing Single Mom to 4: DD14, DS12, DS5, DS3
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#7 of 11 Old 06-28-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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Oh Melanie - I am sorry that you are having a hard time. I actually thought about you the other day, since we are sorta close to each other, and wondered how things were going for you.

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I've been off bedrest and meds for about a week now, contractions have never stopped, I have between 8 and 13 every hour. MW appt. yesterday showed I'm 2-3 cm dilated and 70% effaced, with baby's head still down low. She stripped my membranes, DH and I BD'd last night, etc. Today I still hurt, still contracting, but not any more intense than they've ever been - just another stinking day.

This all really sucks - I know I'm only 37 weeks and should be happy to let her hang out in there as long as she needs, and the rational part of me understands that.
While it's good that you know, I can't imagine how you are staying rational at this point!

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But after all those weeks lying in bed, praying to keep her in, anticipating her arrival, being told she might come at any moment, weeks and weeks of exhausting contractions, feeling terribly uncomfortable and in pain of some sort constantly, and now feeling all conflicted about her even arriving and how much our lives are going to change, how I'm going to give everyone the attention they deserve, and now being in early labor forEVER, well, I'm not in a good frame of mind.
When she comes, everything will fall into place. She will change everything, and she will throw your life into upheaval, but she will be beautiful, and healthy, and loved and all yours. (With an AWESOME name I might add!) As far as how things are now, I know this is hard, but she may not come any day. And if you set yourself up to think that she might, then you will just be sad everyday. Like you don't have a lot to be sad and frustrated about, but just remember you have done an amazing thing by coming as far as you have. I don't know many women who could go this far, on bedrest, with hourly contractions, and not cave into being induced. You are doing a wonderful thing, and she will be a lucky little girl to have a Mother so willing to sacrifice so much for her.

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Mind you, with both the boys, I got to about 2 cm, then my MW broke my water and got things going. So I've never even gotten this far all by myself before. Maybe my body is just really slow to progress
Boy - sounds like it! My sister had to be induced with both of her babies. But, my Mom had a start to finish labor with me lasting only 45 MINUTES. From 1st contraction, which was I think 1 day past my due date, to the time when I was officially born. So everyone is different.

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Add to that the mother, father, MIL, FIL, sister, friends who call every hour to see how it's going and if anything's happening. Never mind I've told everyone I'll call them the moment something changes.
Have you thought about recording something on your voicemail that says 'No we haven't had the baby yet?' I know that family means well, but sometimes they are oblivious to how that makes ya feel, ykwim? This way you could screen your calls and they may just hang up if that's all they are calling for!!

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I don't even want to go to church on Sunday because I don't want to have to explain to everyone multiple times that, no, the baby is not here yet, even though we all thought she would be by now.
I am so for you making a t-shirt that says that exactly. 'No, she isn't here yet (do you see a baby in my arms?) and yes we will let ya know when she is.'

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And then I have to process payroll tomorrow, so I have to worry about maybe being in labor then and being unable to do that and figure out how to walk someone else in the office through that process.
I know that you probably just updated to vent, so if my 'helpful ideas' are irritating, just ignore me! How about writing out how to do it step by step while you know that you are still able to, and making it available to whomever you trust to do it? I am in the EXACT same boat right now with my work. We just installed all new register systems in the stores that I am a buyer for, and none of the managers have taken the time to train themselves on how to do anything, so I get NONSTOP phone calls (like seriously, last check was 30+ a day) about how do I do this, can you go into the system and do this for me, what are we going to do when you are gone, blah blah blah!! I just want to quit and make them figure it out all by themselves!! : Sorry, this isn't about me, but I do understand where you are coming from with the work stuff.

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And I'm scared I won't really be able to tell when labor really kicks in (highly unlikely - I remember what active labor feels like), or I'll be in Target alone with the boys and my water will break all over the floor and I'll have to figure out how to get my laboring self along with the kids to the hospital, get DH there, get the boys somewhere else, etc., etc., etc.
Yeah, that wouldn't be any fun!! And I am sure that you can't just avoid getting the things you need to get. Although, I would make family members go to the store for me, but on the other hand getting out of the house has got to be nice with all of the bedrest you were on. Just try not to let that stress you out. If you have to go in an ambulance, you do. Maybe you take another adult with you whenever you go, like a friend, or relative that you can trust to cart you and the kids to the hospital. But, that fear of water breaking and not knowing what to do can't be fun. I am positive that you will be able to identify your labor, it'll all come back to you!!

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And I don't know what's going to happen with the boys while I'm at the hospital anyway. Depending on the time of day (or night), we have a couple of vague options available, but none are ideal. My MIL would be my preferred choice, but she wants to be at the birth; my mom is 3 hours away; my sister has her own 2 kids and is 1/2 hour away; a friend has volunteered to come over, but - wonderful as she is - my boys aren't entirely comfortable with her (esp. DS2, for whom I'd really like there to be someone here he really likes) and I'd have to explain where everything is in the house, etc.
In your shoes, I would gently advise my MIL that the best way for her to be helpful and there is to be with my children. BUT, I also know that my MIL in particular would tell me to shove it, and that she was gonna be there! You could always record it so that she can watch it later, but your boys need someone that they can trust and be comfortable with. My friend out in Iowa is having the same issue right now, although she isn't due until Feb of next year. Everyone wants to be there, and I want to remind her that she may not want those people there once the moment arrives. And, she has two boys too, that will need to be watched. One of them will be 27 months, and will need some pretty good supervision! She is trying to convince one of the Grandma's to watch the kids too. If I lived out there, I would offer to do it, but I don't. I feel for ya here, I don't even have any ideas!

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Whatever. I'm just ready to be done, but not willing to do anything like induce because I do understand deep down that none of these are really reasons to force her to come early, although she's obviously gearing up for something, right?

So that's us for now. :
They may not be medical reason for her to come early, but they certainly are emotional ones. I am so sorry that you are having such a rough time, and I wish there was something that I could do. Keep us updated and posted, and try not to let this break you. You have made it so far, and she will come soon. As much as we all tell ourselves this at some point (I am currently feeling this ) we can't stay pregnant forever. Just hang in there mama, and vent as much as you want or need to!!
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#8 of 11 Old 06-28-2006, 05:47 PM
 
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Just wanted to give a to ya...
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#9 of 11 Old 06-28-2006, 09:16 PM
 
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Oh, many hugs to you! All will work out well
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#10 of 11 Old 06-28-2006, 11:24 PM
 
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vent away!
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#11 of 11 Old 06-28-2006, 11:52 PM
 
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