The baby is the easy part... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 09:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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but the two-year old is killing me.

How are you other mamas with toddlers managing? DD is 26 months and I am really nearing the end of my rope. She is just everywhere, into everything, every minute. I can't keep her occupied, and there's a lot more yelling happening than I would like.

argh - nak, baby fussing, 2yo out of sight gotta run.

suggestions and commiseration welcome!
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#2 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 09:57 AM
 
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Just quickly, my 5.5 yo is driving me insnae, but she can express herself on occassion to say that she misses me and gets a stomach ache when she can't be with me. I try, try , try to remember that when she is acting not like herself and driving me nuts, but other than hat, no advice. I'm right there with you! :
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#3 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 01:13 PM
 
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I'm right with you. My 27 month old is a darling and not much work, but has been whining a lot and asking to be carried/held a lot, or saying, "I need something" and when I ask him what he says "I don't know" I know he just wants more comfort and cuddles. The baby is very content, but only when he is being held, so my dilemna is that there is only one of me to comfort my sons. Ds has also had some regression with the potty and I yelled at him a couple days ago and when I told him I had to clean him up, he protested by throwing a tantrum (he has only ever had one tantrum before that) and I didn't deal with it well....I dragged him up the stairs and screamed back at him when he screamed at me. Then I pushed him and spent the next few minutes comforting him while the baby cried because I wasn't holding him. I have been reacting terribly and feel so guilty. Sorry....no advice....just some company for you.
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#4 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 01:23 PM
 
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It does get better. Mine are exactly 2yr apart. Those first few weeks were crazy with the adjustments. Extra love and attention from daddy or a friend could help maybe.

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#5 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 02:18 PM
 
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I hear ya, mama! I'm in the same spot with my 23 month old DS.

I'm just taking it one hour at a time, trying to keep my head above water.

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#6 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 02:21 PM
 
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I here ya..Cadan and Kailin are exactly 2 yrs and 2 weeks apart. Luckily Daniel is taking FMLA for a couple weeks but Cadna is way more hyper and needy. Daniel is having a hard time with him (but he always does) Cadan wants booby all the time now and cries about things more. I feel real bad for him but the first day he wanted Kai to "Move it" now today he actually held her on his lap. So everyday he likes her a little more then the last.

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#7 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 02:58 PM
 
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I can definitely commiserate, but also let you know that it seems to get better with time. My husband has been very focused on paying more attention/time to our daughter. We've also enlisted the help of an 11-year old girl from next door to come over and play with Hannah a few mornings a week. She also still goes to Montessori school two days a week (a holdover from my part-time work schedule last year that we've decided to keep budgeting for since she enjoys it so much.) I don't know if any of those things are options for you--even just having someone come take your toddler to a special "play day" at a park or zoo or friend's house for a bit might reduce some stress for all of you. We are now hearing far fewer tantrums and "Mommy/Daddy hold MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" episodes.

Cindi, mama to Hannah (7/04) :, Eli & Sam (6/06) :
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#8 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 04:11 PM
 
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We're going through the same thing. My 31 month old is driving me crazy! : She's wanting to nurse more often than the newborn. I'm trying to give her more attention, let her nurse when I can but she's definately having a late reaction to her new baby brother!
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#9 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 04:19 PM
 
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We're still struggling a lot here, too. dd (19 months) has such a hard time understanding that she sometimes needs to wait. I feel like there's always someone crying, either the baby, dd, or me! I'm trying to remember that this is a huge adjustment for dd, and trying to be patient with her, but when she's hitting/pinching/hollaring at me or the baby, it's really really hard.

I have to say, it's getting better though, just a little. If I can honor her requests to nurse (even for a few seconds) or if I can cuddle her or play with her she seems more calm.

Lunchtime is a freaking zoo though. ds seems to need to nurse more often around that time and isn't content at all being put down. dd is hungry and crabbing at me (even though she has a snack tray out all morning!). I'll have to work on a solution to that.

Hang in there, everyone!!
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#10 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 05:20 PM
 
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I'm so there- have been watching alot of TV at my house lately.
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#11 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 06:52 PM
 
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We are actually doing alright~ my almost 3 y/o is a little challenging at times but my real issue is with my 7 y/o who thinks he's grown up...every time I put the baby down he's right there, picking her up...sometimes chasing after his bros holding her! She'll be sound asleep and he'll pick her up and say, "but mommy she was really awake and wanted to be held."
I guess he's a future AP daddy in the making!

Ashley~certified nurse-midwife mama to 6 little novaxnocirc.gifhomebirth.jpglotbirth.gif loves, including sweet Cordelia Jane born at home waterbirth.jpgon 11/12/10.
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#12 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 07:43 PM
 
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At home markers and placemats that wash off with coloring pages or books are helping with at least an hour a day and I've been scheduling playdates with Nathan's friends from church that are his age and I do that once or twice a week and I take him to Wednesday night service (they do a modified pre-school there for the kids his age). So taking him out of the house and letting him play with his friends is really helping both of us, I get to talk to grown ups and he is able to really run, laugh and play.
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#13 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 08:08 PM
 
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Boy, can I agree!! Anybody want to adopt dd? She's 14 1/2 months old and just learning to talk. She is walking and getting into everything. I am very tired of the 'let's dump everything out and scatter it around and then "help" pick it up game'! From books to toys to her crayons it all gets dumped and scattered and then she is delighted to have me sit on the floor and make a game of picking up the mess. She cutely covers her mouth with one hand makes big eyes and says 'uh-oh'. The baby is fussy sometimes and when he fusses and needs my attention then she pulls something else and wants the attention. At least things are looking better and we are getting it together. At least 2 times a week I have my sister come and play with dd for awhile and I go to my mom's so she can play outside with her 3 Aunts and Uncle and I can rest in the house or swim in the pool with her. I am thinking we will wait a bit before adding another baby to this house!:

Me : DD 5/05: DS1 7/06 : DS2 11/07: DS3 3/10
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#14 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 08:33 PM
 
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My 6 yo was actually a pain the first month. He was depressed basically. He moped around, said things like "you're spending more time with the baby than me" and didn't want anything to do with ds2. Now in the past week we are seeing some improvement. He actually wants to hold him, kiss him, etc. At one point, he was waking up 5-6 times per night because he needed us, was scared, etc. I snapped one night and said "You wake up more than a one month old!" Ugh. He seems to be almost back to normal. He keeps saying things like "A baby needs to be held all the time." and "Boobs are made to feed babies" so maybe I've got another future APer here too!
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#15 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 08:41 PM
 
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Jenn! You're back! There have been a couple threads (here & here) asking about you in the last few months! Hope everything has been okay. Nice to see you.
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#16 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 08:41 PM
 
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Stupid double posts... :
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#17 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 09:04 PM
 
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me to me to, ds#1 stayed with my mom for a night last weekend...and ds#2 was a breeze! It is the whining that will break me

Busy wife to dh for 5 years and mama to ds1 (11.09.04), ds2 (7.17.06) and ds3 coming Aug 09. :::
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#18 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 09:45 PM
 
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we are doing okay- i have a 2 1/2 year old, and dd is 6 weeks old now. i just engage ds as much as possible during the day- dd stays in the sling, and ds and I do as much fun stuff as we can. i have found it also makes a big difference if i dont try to put ds off when he needs to nurse at the buttcrack of dawn- if i can bite the bullet and nurse him for a few minutes ( i very much dislike nursing him ) then the whole day seems to go better.

bedtimes are horrible dp works nights often so that means ive got to put them both down myself. i've been able to keep up our normal routine, except that if dd is still awake at ds' bedtime, i can't lay down with him. ds cant fall asleep unless i lay down with him, so this means that i usually resort to watching a movie with him- he usually will fall asleep during the movie. i feel really bad about it, but i guess in the scheme of things its not so bad. it will get better, im sure, as dd gets older and starts to have a vague schedule of her own.

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#19 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 11:36 PM
 
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Right there with you. The girls are exactly 28 months apart, and this is the first week I've been alone with them. Much coffee has been consumed, since they both nurse about equally during the night meaning that I have to nurse dd2 to sleep, nurse dd1 to sleep, change dd2's diaper, and then nurse dd2 back to sleep.
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#20 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 09:56 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jade2561
I'm so there- have been watching alot of TV at my house lately.
Here too. It's so nice out but I feel like I'm trapped inside with one boob hanging out all day. The really fun stuff we could be doing now (pool, painting, etc) are all activities that require too much supervision for me to handle alone And when DD1 gets bored she starts doing things she knows are not ok (hitting the cats being her #1 choice) which ends in me yelling :

Sucks. I need a clone.
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#21 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 10:07 AM
 
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here too-ds1 is 10 months old so not walking yet-very hard to take care of the needs of 2 babes! dh is still home on leave-i can't imagine when he goes back to work :

Kelly, :Mama to Kevin, 10/1/05 & Seth, 7/7/06. ::
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#22 of 30 Old 08-13-2006, 07:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by birthdancedoula
We are actually doing alright~ my almost 3 y/o is a little challenging at times but my real issue is with my 7 y/o who thinks he's grown up...every time I put the baby down he's right there, picking her up...sometimes chasing after his bros holding her! She'll be sound asleep and he'll pick her up and say, "but mommy she was really awake and wanted to be held."
I guess he's a future AP daddy in the making!
Okay, that's way cute!! (even though it's tough for you, I imagine!)
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#23 of 30 Old 08-13-2006, 04:51 PM
 
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Just wanted to say things do get better. Cadan is doing awesome. He really is quite fond of Kai. He rubs her head and helps change her and is in charge of her bouncy chair. e accepts tat Kai needs juicy more then him and is happy to let her have it most days without a whine or pout.

carlie~33 DP~40 mom to Cadan Riley 7/22/04, Kailin Naiya 8/05/06,, Ronen Blake12/13/08 , Rosen Blythe 7/26/10.
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#24 of 30 Old 08-13-2006, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Everything does seem to be settling down a bit. It's still an awful lot to manage sometimes, but I try to remember that as long as we get to the end of the day with everyone fed, unhurt, and not sitting in poop for too long, we've had a good day.

I also know things will improve in a few weeks when the older two go back to preschool. It's been hard having them home all day every day - no matter what, they end up bored. And bored is BAD, as far as I can tell.
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#25 of 30 Old 08-14-2006, 03:40 PM
 
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yup - I'm right there too
dd 1 keeps yelling and screaming when the babe is asleep or wanting to touch her just as she is falling asleep and then having a tantrum when I try to correct her
she is basically having a full blown tantrum pretty much once a day and sometimes twice - I am doing my best to spend time with her but this is not really working too well right now - since the babe needs to be in arms most of the time .........I can see some small improvements but am waiting it out one day at a time
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#26 of 30 Old 08-14-2006, 11:29 PM
 
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DS1 is 22 months and wearing me out. He's been having a lot of tantrums, especially in the afternoons. DH works nights, so the evenings have been a circus. He was pulling fantastic stunts; for instance, I was nursing in the living room when DS1 ran to the kitchen and I heard the fridge door open and shut, and then....silence. I went into the kitchen with DS2 dangling from my boob to find DS1 taking raw eggs out of the carton. He was biting the ends of the shell off and then pouring the egg onto the floor. It's funny now, but at the time, I could have cried.
He's started being a little more passive aggressive since then...the other day he was being very sweet, stroking DS2's head...and out of the blue, he took his little face in his hand and squeezed as hard as he could!

Anna , partner to Chad geek.gif , mommy to Aidan (10/12/04) and Nate (07/18/06) fencing.gif , and Violet fairy.gif(10/23/07) .

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#27 of 30 Old 08-15-2006, 09:13 AM
 
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I thought the terrible twos were not real. They are real. My two year old is proof. He is driving me absolutely batty!!

So yes...the baby is easy. My 2 year old however is pushing me to the brink.
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#28 of 30 Old 08-15-2006, 09:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AidansMommy1012
He was pulling fantastic stunts; for instance, I was nursing in the living room when DS1 ran to the kitchen and I heard the fridge door open and shut, and then....silence. I went into the kitchen with DS2 dangling from my boob to find DS1 taking raw eggs out of the carton. He was biting the ends of the shell off and then pouring the egg onto the floor. It's funny now, but at the time, I could have cried.
Oh my goodness....

Fridge lock?
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#29 of 30 Old 08-16-2006, 10:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quagmire
Oh my goodness....

Fridge lock?
nak. Oh yes. A trip to get more babyproofing gear will be had.

Anna , partner to Chad geek.gif , mommy to Aidan (10/12/04) and Nate (07/18/06) fencing.gif , and Violet fairy.gif(10/23/07) .

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#30 of 30 Old 08-16-2006, 11:21 PM
 
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can anyone recommend a good brand? I can't find any oven/fridge locks that don't require adhesive which just comes right off. Or maybe my toddler is super-strong.. we do call him Bambam, actually. Still.
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