Being a SAHM can be lonely - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 08-18-2006, 01:16 PM - Thread Starter
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Let me start off by saying that I love being a SAHM and being a mom is better than I ever expected. My problem is that I'm the first of any of my friends (from high school, college, and beyond) to have a baby. None are wanting to expand their family any time soon. While I do have a couple friends who are understanding of how things change with a baby, they haven't BTDT so I can't talk to them about BFing, diapers, spit up, and being a lonely SAHM! I live in the south where APing isn't exactly the norm (my neighbor recommended the Ezzo books when she found out I was PG!) and finding like-minded friends is very difficult. So I'm stuck with very limited socilization aside from my DH and church. I never knew I would look forward to grocery shopping so much simply b/c I get out and I'm around other people!

What do all you other SAHMs do for socialization?

Laura, Troy, Seth 6.24.06 , and Aaron 7.13.09
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#2 of 7 Old 08-18-2006, 02:07 PM
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I've found one friend from mothering, and a few from my local la leche league. The LLL people tend to be pretty crunchy! I would absolutely die if I didn't have my little group of mom friends. I'm in the same situation as you with all my friends not quite in baby mode yet. They've pretty much dissapeared! Which is fine since they don't really share my interests anymore.

Have you checked out the 'finding your tribe' section here? Theres bound to be people from your area! I attend monthly coffee nights with mothering women in my area!

mama to L (4) and G (1.5)
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#3 of 7 Old 08-18-2006, 07:22 PM
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I HEAR YA!!!!! I completely understand the lonely aspect to being a SAHM. I enjoy being able to take the time to watch my little guy sleep and grow, but I also desperately miss being around my friends when I was working. What really helped me was joing a local breastfeeding support group (simialiar to LLL). It's run by a nurse practitioner who is very nice and supportive of new mothers. The women there are also very nice and are people I can call friends. Check with your midwife or OB to see if something like this exists in your area. Good Luck

Tricia, married to DH. 2MC's & 4 yrs ttc...finally mom to Andrew6/06 and Benjamin 10/09. Adopted bro & sis 2002. My 2 fav. words: Spay and Neuter! I'm an Ultimate Viewer, 2010!


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#4 of 7 Old 08-19-2006, 09:59 PM
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I'm doing a lot better now than I did with my first. I remember that I stayed home a lot when Aidan was born. I also remember bawling to DH because none of my friends had kids or understood. This time around, we have more friends who have recently become or are in the process of becoming parents. My best friend gave birth to her son a month and a half before I had Nate, and another one of my friends just became pregnant after trying for almost a year. DH's friends are starting to pair off and get married, so I've been meeting their wives, some of which have children and we get along pretty well. We've set up a regular Saturday morning playgroup/brunch that's really a thinly disguised excuse to gripe about our inlaws.

Anna , partner to Chad geek.gif , mommy to Aidan (10/12/04) and Nate (07/18/06) fencing.gif , and Violet fairy.gif(10/23/07) .

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#5 of 7 Old 08-19-2006, 11:04 PM
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I have just recently started to hang out with new friends, because my current friends, even though one is 14 weeks pregnant, don't really call me. But, through my doula, who is now my good friend, I have met some mom's and just like pp stated, LLL is a great place to meet other mom's, and a broad spectrum of them. And I second the finding your tribe. I also joined Holistic Mom's Network. Didn't really end up being my cup o tea, but it was another great national group. You could also look for a MOPs group in your area. There are lots of mom groups. Being a SAHM seems to be pretty lonely for everyone!!
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#6 of 7 Old 08-20-2006, 07:00 PM - Thread Starter
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I've been over in the finding your tribe section and I "met" 2 people who live near me who I invited to the next LLL mtg in 2 wks. Hopefully they will show up. I've also discovered a couple other groups from the tribe groups.

Thanks for the reassurance! It's so frustrating b/c after being in this area for 3 years, I finally felt like I found my 'nitch,' but I now feel like I have to start from scratch since becoming a SAHM. Maybe I can become more proactive and get a regular gathering of MDC moms in my area (right now, they don't meet). Once a month LLL mtgs aren't filling my social calendar very well. Thanks for the other suggestions.

Laura, Troy, Seth 6.24.06 , and Aaron 7.13.09
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#7 of 7 Old 08-20-2006, 11:04 PM
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I hear you.

I am planning to go back to work and I just don't know that many moms who stay home. I am friendly with the moms from my LLL group but it only meets once a month and I haven't gotten up the courage to call anyone for outside playdates! Mostly I've been hanging out with my one friend who just had her second set of twins, but they have some health problems so we don't go out a whole lot.

I feel like if I were to stay at home fulltime I'd have to be rich, because I feel like all there is to do around here is shop! I can't walk anywhere - we live in a very residential area and the grocery store is a highway away. So in addition to lacking SAHM friends we are in the car a lot, which both my kids hate... :
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