How many times a day do you check your baby to see if they are still breathing? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 09-07-2006, 12:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't mean to be morbid, and I certainly don't want to be insensitive to anyone who has had the horror of experiencing what I'm fearful of . . .
but I'm not sure if I'm out of line/obsessed about checking to see if my DS is still breathing/alive while he is sleeping.

Can someone else tell me how many times they check (specifically to see if baby is still alive) in an average 24 hour period?

I'd say I check about . . . 12 times per day including the night time when he sleeps right next to me in a basinette.
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#2 of 22 Old 09-07-2006, 12:54 PM
 
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Oh goodness, all the freaking time. Maybe (okay probably) it's because it's my first. I check during all her naps, while she is sleeping in the sling, pretty much constantly. It's not stressful for me, it just feels like something I gotta do. Weird.
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#3 of 22 Old 09-07-2006, 04:19 PM
 
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I used to sleep with my hand on my son's back...somewhere in all of my newborn years, I relaxed a little....now I only do it when she's been sleeping too long!
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#4 of 22 Old 09-07-2006, 04:19 PM
 
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I cant even begin to count the times I check on Arlo. Lets just say probaly a bit too much since my DH is always making fun of me.
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#5 of 22 Old 09-07-2006, 04:34 PM
 
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I will check if she's been sleeping deeply for a while. Sometimes she sleeps so soundly that it's difficult to see the rise and fall of her chest, so I have to touch her and see if she twitches. But this is not very often. I think I checked on my first much more often, though. I also didn't have two other kids to take care of while the baby slept back then!
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#6 of 22 Old 09-07-2006, 04:40 PM
 
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my son was born in july of LAST year and I still check him several times during his sleep
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#7 of 22 Old 09-07-2006, 05:00 PM
 
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I check all the time. I don't worry, really, I just check. It's kind of instinctive, I think.
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#8 of 22 Old 09-07-2006, 05:03 PM
 
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oh I am bad- I check all three of my kids (4 yr old, 2 yr old and 5 month old) heck, I check my dh, too!

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#9 of 22 Old 09-07-2006, 11:18 PM
 
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a lot
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#10 of 22 Old 09-08-2006, 09:32 AM
 
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Lots. I still wake up in a panic every so often to make sure I haven't smooshed him! In fact this morning I'm up and left my two boys in bed together and I have checked on them 3 times to make sure my husband hasn't rolled onto the baby in his sleep!

mama to L (4) and G (1.5)
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#11 of 22 Old 09-08-2006, 09:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SabbathD
Oh goodness, all the freaking time. Maybe (okay probably) it's because it's my first. I check during all her naps, while she is sleeping in the sling, pretty much constantly. It's not stressful for me, it just feels like something I gotta do. Weird.
: And it's not my first...
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#12 of 22 Old 09-08-2006, 11:09 AM
 
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So, about 3 weeks ago, I got up, waked into the kitchen made myself a cup of coffee, and then PANICKED!! Where was the baby! I went and looked in the bed, ran all over the house, checked the bath tub, the crib, the swing, the floor some closets.

She was in the bed. I looked right at her, got up earlier and completely forgot she existed. Goodness, I am such a bum.
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#13 of 22 Old 09-08-2006, 11:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SabbathD
So, about 3 weeks ago, I got up, waked into the kitchen made myself a cup of coffee, and then PANICKED!! Where was the baby! I went and looked in the bed, ran all over the house, checked the bath tub, the crib, the swing, the floor some closets.

She was in the bed. I looked right at her, got up earlier and completely forgot she existed. Goodness, I am such a bum.
Slightly OT but your post reminded me...

Last week we went to a petting zoo. We arrived there, and I got DD1 out of her seat since she is behind the passenger seat. I walked around and DH locked the car and started walking away. I was like um, aren't we forgetting something? He looked confused for a sec until I gestured toward DD2, still in the car He was like "you distracted me! I was talking! Shut up!"

I guess we're still not totally used to having two kids
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#14 of 22 Old 09-08-2006, 11:53 AM
 
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We did that once with dd1 when she was a week old. We all start walking away and it's like "who's got the baby?"

Now with three, I asked my dh in the car the other day "Now that we're outnumbered do you ever get the feeling we've forgotten to put one of them in the car or something?" He lauged and said yes! Thankfully, we've remembered them all so far!
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#15 of 22 Old 09-08-2006, 04:54 PM
 
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I've been meaning to post this same question! I check all the time. We've been sleeping with the windows open the past few nights and DS has been a little stuffed up ... I almost like it b/c I can hear him breathing without having to actually feel or look!

Laura, Troy, Seth 6.24.06 , and Aaron 7.13.09
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#16 of 22 Old 09-09-2006, 06:07 PM
 
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i'm a constant checker too...sight, feel, and sound, even tickling the toes for a reflex.
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#17 of 22 Old 09-09-2006, 08:51 PM
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DS is a loud breather, so most of the time I can just hear him, but when I'm wearing him he sleeps so hard and I can't hear his breathing as easily, so I check for breathing fairly often. Once, I couldn't feel any breath, so I actually forced a finger into his mouth to check for a reaction.

Sabbath, . One night recently I had a sleepy 3 a.m. nursing session with DS in bed. Afterwards, I turned over and left him where he was. Right at the edge of the bed around my waist level. We don't have side rails yet. Then I pulled the blanket up to my chin. Fortunately, something twigged for me despite being exhausted and asleep. I woke up -- startled and horrified by what I had just done -- and dug him out from under the covers. And then I cried. Hard.

professor & maman de DS1 (6) & DS2 (1)

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#18 of 22 Old 09-09-2006, 10:51 PM
 
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I check. Last night, Logan slept from 11 pm until 5 am. I woke up at 4:30 and realized my breasts were really full. I looked at the clock and jumped out of bed. The cradle is next to my bed and I checked him right away. He was fine, but has never slept this long before! Maybe it will be the start of a trend.
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#19 of 22 Old 09-12-2006, 09:03 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SabbathD
So, about 3 weeks ago, I got up, waked into the kitchen made myself a cup of coffee, and then PANICKED!! Where was the baby! I went and looked in the bed, ran all over the house, checked the bath tub, the crib, the swing, the floor some closets.

She was in the bed. I looked right at her, got up earlier and completely forgot she existed. Goodness, I am such a bum.
I can tell yuor baby sleeps through the night because that could not happen to someone who's baby is up every hour or so
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#20 of 22 Old 09-12-2006, 11:37 AM
 
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So would I be a bad mommy if I said that I don't check? I know that I checked with my first, but since then, I have just trusted that they were alright. I guess the fact that they have been with me most of the time sort of aliviated the need to check. I do peek in the room if Q is sleeping on his own, just to be sure that he hasn't rolled onto his tummy, but I don't check for breathing. I guess I've relaxed over the years. Maybe that's good and maybe that's bad, I don't know.

I'm not sure whether this is a sad or funny story, but everytime I tell this to people with new babies they laugh and nod along, then later thank me for my honesty. Anyway...My first was a terrible sleeper those first few months. He didn't like co-sleeping, didn't even want to be in the same room with us. He would sleep for blocks at night, but during the day he was very colicky and would only sleep in my arms. It was pretty exhausting. Anyway, one morning I woke up -- I think it was about 6:00 am and realized that I hadn't gotten up to feed him that night. I was sort of panicked and very foggy from sleep deprivation and I remember wondering if he were dead. I was so tired, though, and I knew that chances were that he was just fine and if I went in there I would wake him up. So I thought to myself that if he had died that night, he would still be dead in two hours and I went back to sleep.

That's sleep deprivation at it's worst. Talk about guilt. It's crazy because I wouldn't probably have thought that with any of the other three kids, but my first was such a challange and I was simply so worn down by the constant crying (and probably suffering from mild PPD) that I needed breaks but wasn't getting them. I took my breaks whenever I could find them.

I'm very thankful that my other three children have been "easy" by comparison.
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#21 of 22 Old 09-12-2006, 11:45 AM
 
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I check DD often, but less than I did when she was first born. Now I am slightly obsessed with positioning her just right on the bed next to me so her nose is not near the bed. We sleep on a towel b/c of all the milk leakage so I am obsessed with straightening that so there are no wrinkles in it by her face : I check my DH too!

Amy, mommy to Ava, 6, Gavin, 4, Lila, 2, and Baby #4 due in early November! joy.gif
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#22 of 22 Old 09-12-2006, 12:34 PM
 
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I know it's only funny in a sick way, but I love that story Beth. The logic of your decision was flawless, and I have definitely "been there" with that level of sleep deprivation.
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