I am SOOOO glad to hear someone else complaining about lack of help from relatives. My mother and MIL keep coming over to "help", and sit around watching tv, eating, or doing yard work outside. They'll hold the baby only when he's sleeping.
No matter how many times I've told my husband I want no visitors past 6pm, they always hang around and screw with our bedtime routine. The only "help" I've gotten with meals is my MIL trying to unload the DIRTY dishes from the dishwasher, and last night clearing the table (putting dishes in the sink, with food still in them, meaning MY dinner that I hadn't been able to finish because I was the only one taking care of the baby).
When asked to come over to help watch the boys, they either sit watching tv with them, or try to "help" my husband with his work. Except for swinging them in the swing, it's as if they've suddenly forgotten how to play with their grandchildren! Meanwhile, I'm running around like a crazy person carrying laundry, doing dishes, changing diapers, cooking etc. A friend brought over some chili to help us out, and they ended up eating 1/3 of it.
And ditto with the diaper comments, though not as bad. On my husband's birthday my MIL, SIL, her husband, and their 4 younger boys were here. They kept commenting on A.J. having his hand in his diaper, asking him if he needed to use the potty. Well, he DOESN'T have any interest yet, and they kept comparing him to his potty-trained cousin who is 5.5 months older than him, who BTW had an accident outside and my SIL said "Shame on you! You know better than that!" He's not even 3 yet!! Sure, A.J. looks way bigger than him, even though he's younger, but give me a break!
And then my mother interrogating me about how long Nate is sleeping, how often is he feeding, etc. I don't know and I don't care! I was bottle-fed anyhow, so there's no comparison. Yes, he's sleeping with me. No, I'm not going to smush him the way my SIL killed her pet possum by sleeping with it when she was a kid!!
Ah, postpartum hormones. Why don't people know better!?!