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-   -   How long do you let your babe fuss/cry? (

aries girl 02-07-2007 04:47 PM

How long before you pick him/her up? For example, if you're cleaning the house or making dinner do you let them fuss for awhile before abandoning your task to pick them up to cuddle? For the past 5 months I've gotten very little done because I go to DS almost immediately if he wants attention. He is able to amuse himself for much longer periods of time now, but the household chores still take forever due to all the interruptions! I feel terrible (and my blood pressure goes up!) if I let him cry at all, but should I try to calm down a little bit and know he'll be OK if I don't go right to him?
What do you all do?

20605 02-07-2007 04:49 PM

In my case, I learned to wear dd in a bjorn chest carrier. She would dapple her toes in the dishwater ))) Vacuuming while wearing a babe is great exercise!!!!!!!!!

aries girl 02-07-2007 04:53 PM

Wearing DS in the sling (No Jo) as well as in the Bjorn absolutely kills my back these days. I wore him constantly for the first few months, and it was the only way I got anything done (and he loved it!). I think I need to look into a new type of sling that will not cause me lots of pain. Any suggestions?

mamamilkers 02-07-2007 05:06 PM

I don't try to "let" my DD cry, but the fact of life is that sometimes I can't pick her up immediately, such as when I'm working over a hot stove or switching laundry, etc etc.

My August babe is also my second, so I've tried lots of things.

If you want to wear your babe, I suggest a Mei Tai carrier (I actually own the sling in that link and LOVE it). It will distribute your babe's weight alot better and isn't as limited as the Bjorn.

Also, you can use "baby gadgets" like a swing, a gymini, a bouncy seat a high chair (with toys!) or an exersaucer. I personally own most of these and my DD spends a little time every day in each of them.

In addition, you can lower your expectations of what needs to get done every day. Before long your babe won't want anything to do with being in your arms (just ask my two year old!) and you can look back and smile on all the snuggling you got in. Believe me, there will be time to clean as your babe grows.

Good Luck!

peilover010202 02-07-2007 05:14 PM

I don't let ds2 fuss much, if at all. Maybe 2-3 minutes and that's if the task is too unsafe to do while holding him (cooking). Otherwise, dh gets him so I can finish the task at hand.

I understand about the carriers killing your back. At 20lbs, it's hard carrying him for a long time.

SummerTwilight 02-07-2007 05:23 PM

Like a millisecond. I am a major sucker for Aria's cries and abandon ANYthing to pick her up. I am almost pathetic about it. I sometimes pee holding her if she is too crabby to be put down.

aries girl 02-07-2007 05:27 PM

I've done the peeing with babe on lap thing too!!

veganf 02-07-2007 05:41 PM

With my first I also pee'd holding him, always. :
#2 taught me otherwise since he cried constantly his first 2 months and eventually he had to be put down.
Nate doesn't cry much, but I pretty much leap right up if he does, but just fussing a little I let go if I'm busy.
I absolutely can't use any front carrier and do lots of chores--it totally breaks my back. The few times I went to a chiropractor they said I should avoid it. I try to rake leaves or shovel snow using a backpack, but it still bothers me.
I use a swing in the living room to fold laundry.
An exersaucer in the kitchen for cooking and unloading dishes.
He still falls over sometimes sitting, so I put a pillow behind him when I'm changing laundry. Once he's sitting reliably (he falls when he tries to reach too far for a toy) things get sooooo much easier IMO. And once they crawl and walk it's crazy as far as babyproofing is concerned, but otherwise I find their whole demeanor changes once they can get where they want to go on their own.

Okay, I kinda went on a tangent there. I guess my answer is I pretty much always pick up immediately if possible, but will let it go a minute or two if I have to (ie. when I'm changing AJ's diaper, finishing food prep that would get ruined if left for a moment, near the end of Ryan and AJ's bedtime routine).

blairinargentina 02-07-2007 07:19 PM

if i am doing chores and can't get to her right when she starts to fuss (like going to the bathroom ) then she will go for a minute or so max. but only if there is good reason for not getting to her quicker. these days however she is more content to "talk" and roll around, with a little fuss here and there, while i go about the house (our house is tiiiiiiny, so she is hardly ever out of sight). just talking to her while i keep doing things will soothe her alot more now.

no can do on the all day babywearing these days. it was fine when she weighed less than 10lbs, but not at 14lbs!

when i do need two hands for a few minutes, particularly with dinner, she is content to play in her high chair with favorite toys in reach. the swing and bouncy are no good now as she doesn't like the semi-reclining thing now that she's a sitting up big ole girl!

NewAtThis 02-07-2007 07:43 PM

Pretty much right away. Otherwise just a couple of minutes if I am doing a critical task that is non baby-friendly (like loading the woodstove), while talking loud enough so she can hear me say "I'm coming! I'll be right there sweetie!", or something like that. Thank goodness for slings! If she is unhappy, just about everything can wait till she is soothed and can hang out on the floor/in the bouncy seat/etc.

taradt 02-07-2007 11:44 PM

Another right away, unless I really can't (like when I had to pick DD up after a bee sting). I carry Kienan on my back in the Ergo, pretty much all day, he will get moved to the front if he is needing snuggles


the_lissa 02-08-2007 12:10 AM

Originally Posted by taradt View Post
Another right away, unless I really can't (like when I had to pick DD up after a bee sting). I carry Kienan on my back in the Ergo, pretty much all day, he will get moved to the front if he is needing snuggles

Same here, only in a sling.

2 in August 02-08-2007 04:03 AM

I also go straight to him unless I'm cooking and it isn't safe for me to have him with me. I can stir and stand sideways with him as far away from the stove as possible, but I can't/won't put things in or out of the oven or anything else where he might get splashed or be in danger. I use the swing/saucer/bouncy seat/activity mat and BIG sister when I need to do something. But then I go back to him as soon as possible. I've held him while I peed, even nursed him while going to the bathroom so that he wouldn't have to scream while I was going. (Probably not too unusual around here though)

Tofu the Geek 02-08-2007 06:26 AM

ASAP, so usually a few seconds, but longer if I am peeing and didn't take baby with me!

Today I was at a mom & baby class an 8 week old baby cried for 20 mins straight!! I was soooo upset! Mama was holding baby and bouncing with her but didn't try much else. I don't know her whole situation so maybe there was a reason why she didn't try nursing, but it was still upsetting. My babe has never cried like that, it was just so sad.

Island_Mama 02-08-2007 06:35 AM

I am passing this information down, someone shared this with me and I think it's a great resource! I don't know if you have heard of NINO-The baby wearing Organization.
They have local groups in certain states, and they meet monthly. The one here locally has a "lending library" so you can try different slings, wraps etc out. Some of the members make slings for sale (they make themselves), and it's great because you can get personal advice AND try them out before spending $60-$80 on a carrier you won't use because it's wrong for you.

I hope that helps! Hope there is a group in your area

coop_mom 02-08-2007 12:24 PM

I hate to let DS cry, too.

Luckily I have DH around these days, so we are able to split the comforting time between the two of us.

A little off topic, but what about the car?? That's really the only time we are unable to comfort (ie. nurse) DS as soon as I'd like because he is trapped in his car seat.

the_lissa 02-08-2007 12:27 PM

Luckily LIam likes the car, but my daughter didn't. We just pulled over and nursed as soon as possible, got fun toys for the car, sang songs, etc. It was hard though.

peilover010202 02-08-2007 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by coop_mom View Post
I hate to let DS cry, too.

Luckily I have DH around these days, so we are able to split the comforting time between the two of us.

A little off topic, but what about the car?? That's really the only time we are unable to comfort (ie. nurse) DS as soon as I'd like because he is trapped in his car seat.
E doesn't mind the car unless it's dark, so my mom found a fiberoptic bear that lights up and slowly changes colors from blue, green, yellow, red and E LOVES it. I just prop it up near the mirror (he's still in an infant carseat) and he loves watching it. During the day though, it's really not much fun to look at. So, if he's fussy then, we pull over to nurse.

taradt 02-08-2007 03:04 PM

I nurse in the car :

blairinargentina 02-08-2007 03:49 PM

we travel alot and it takes frickin forever to get anywhere around here so we have had to work with this one as well. isa really only gets fussy in the car if she is wet (don't blame her!) or if its dark and she wakes up and can't see us.

the mirror has been great now that she know she can see us in it. we also have toys she can grab, which made a difference too. if she cries for longer than 5 minutes or so then i just pull over and take her out or nurse and she's fine.

SummerTwilight 02-08-2007 05:54 PM

The car has been my personal hell but it is getting better. I pull over if I have to, offer nuk, sing "itsy bitsy spider" ( fav song), mirror, foam musical steering wheel that sits in her lap, books, it was BAD when she was younger cause I am in the car a LOT and she would get SOOOO mad! Glad things are getting easier!

ColoradoMama 02-14-2007 04:37 PM

If I can help it, I don't let Louis cry. Unfortunately there are times I can't pick him up right away - such as when I was cutting up raw meat for the cats and dog - I went ahead and finished that, washed my hands, and THEN picked him up! Luckily he's pretty going. The thing that kills me is if he gets upset in the car and I CAN'T stop like when I have to pick up one of the kids at school. Usually he calms down pretty quickly - especially if I sing to him.

Robynee 02-15-2007 10:01 AM

I can't stand to let Sean cry. I bought an exersaucer (after much internal debate) and he hates it.
I usually sling him or just lug him on my hip. Now that he is sitting it has gotten much easier. He will often sit on the floor right outside the bathroom and I'll leave the door open, or he'll sit on the rug at the edge of the kitchen and watch me make dinner. I have a built in entertainment system though with a doting big brother.:
In the car he is usual pretty content, if he cries and we are not within a couple of minutes of where we are going, I'll pull over and nurse him for a minute. That usually does the trick.

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