I think I may be losing the baby *2/2 UPDATE! POST 58* - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-02-2006, 04:44 PM
 
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Ooh, you posted while I was posting. *I've* had it up to here with that midwife, and I don't even know her! Sheesh. Wonder if you could work with the doctor instead (or another midwife) and still deliver at the birthing center... I just feel like one should be pretty SURE if one's going to diagnose a miscarriage, for heavens sake. Why err on the side that's going to cause the mother agony? If there's bad news, at some point it'll become obvious anyway... no need to project... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

SUCH sympathy from me! Can't imagine what these ups and downs are like for you. Hang in there and keep us posted.

Mimi :yawning: the happy mama of one DD & one DS ; married to my sweetie.
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Old 02-02-2006, 04:52 PM
 
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I'm so sorry that you're midwife has put you through all this stress and worry. She is sending up red flags for me too. I can understand being cautious, but this has gone farther than that!

Hugs mama!!!

Sarah loving wife to Scot...joyous mama to...
Emilee and Elaina and our newest addition Elliot Bell 9/15/10
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Old 02-02-2006, 05:49 PM
 
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big hugs to you, sweetie

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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Old 02-02-2006, 05:50 PM
 
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What an incredibly stressful ordeal. Here's hoping the rest of the pregnancy is blissfully uneventful.

Paige, mama to three girls, (10), (8) and (3)
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Old 02-02-2006, 06:17 PM
 
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You know, I hate to play devils' advocate but I would rather have my midwife be cautionary and have it turn out okay than be positive and be crushed with a m/c... maybe that's weird but my midwife was cautionary (even saying, "well honey, maybe you're having a m/c") when I was spotting early on - but while it was frustrating to hear, kept me realistic.

It is SOOOOO hard to deal with the early weeks of pg, really, so incredibly hard to hope, have faith, dream and plan and all at the same time pray, beg, etc. the baby stays for their birth day. I think it has to be on the top 10 of the most stressful times of life.

Hoping that everthing continues to remain high and positive for you - lots of hugs.
~Julie

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Avid Unassisted Birth supporter/Mama

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Old 02-02-2006, 06:54 PM
 
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I disagree with you, BirthFree, because stress alone can cause a miscarriage in anotherwise healthy pregnancy. And in a bicornuate uterus that may be more susceptible to miscarriage? If I'd been the midwife, I would have snowed her and looked into everything, then if there looked to be a problem I would have told her about it, if no problem, then no additional stress to mama.
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Old 02-02-2006, 06:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirthFree
maybe that's weird but my midwife was cautionary (even saying, "well honey, maybe you're having a m/c") when I was spotting early on - but while it was frustrating to hear, kept me realistic.
I have to agree with you. I'd rather things be kept realistic, even if things turn out positively. I spotted a lot with my second pregnancy, but my midwife preferred a wait-and-see attitude during the first trimester, since there's really not much to be done to prevent it if you are actually miscarrying.

I am very glad to hear that things are alright though!

- krista

milk donation : mother to Ryan (6), AJ (5), Nate (2), Maia (1) all born at home, I have a kid-friendly food & bento blog, : :
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Old 02-02-2006, 07:16 PM
 
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I'm all for realistic ("This looks like maybe you're having a miscarriage, let's wait and see/run some tests" etc), but some of the things this particular m/w has done seem *pessimistic* (leaving vague evening voicemails saying test results make her "worried, let's talk tomorrow"; telling mum2be the "good" u/s was NOT good news after all, then saying she'd talk to a doc, then calling back and saying, well, i guess maybe it IS good news...) There are simple things that could have been done better, like leaving a gentler or more specific voicemail, or conferring with the doc BEFORE alarming conversation #1.

I guess it depends too on different mama's attitudes towards m/c. For me, I know that no amount of "preparation" would make it less upsetting to m/c, and the increased stress and fear would make me miserable and possibly unhealthy. It sounds like some preparation/cautions would make it easier for other mamas, though, so I can respect that.

My main point is, I hate to see mum2be go through this roller coaster! If anybody could do anything to make it less roller-coaster-y, I would like them to do it! Hang in there, m2b! :

Mimi :yawning: the happy mama of one DD & one DS ; married to my sweetie.
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Old 02-02-2006, 09:14 PM
 
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frankly if i would yu i wouldn't have any more blood tests (many women have low levels of the pregnancy hormone, i friend was still getitng negative tests when they could hear the babies heartbeat and now j. is almost 2) and U?S are very often wrong. all these tests will not prevent a miscarriage.

any woman can lose a baby at any time. it's one of the risks of getting pregnant. accidents happen at birth and after too. tests do nothing to lower these risks, they just lead to frustration and fear.

so, mama, i would stop the tests, have a talk with that belly babe (you're really wanted and we really love you and really want you around) and then plan on a full term pregnancy as best you can. and stop opening the door to confusion and pain and doubt, and instead think about joy and love and the sweet smell of babies. rely on intuition rather than anothers subjective interperation.


"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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Old 02-06-2006, 12:07 AM
 
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I know three people who have given birth with that problem.
One just didn't care and scheduled a c-section with both her kids. One had a section the first time, and two vaginals the next times.
The other I'm not sure, but I know she was going for vaginal.

Is your midwife willing to attend breech at home? If not, ask around for a care provider who will. Breech is not a big deal.

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

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