Getting the triple-screen? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 35 Old 04-11-2006, 11:24 AM
 
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Littleteapot, you brought up exactly how I am now, but a few years ago I would have gotten the screenings. I think it has *a lot* to do with different life experinces. I know myself now, and I know that even if I had gotten screenings, I would have worried that I had been in the 0.5 percent that gets a false negative. That's just how I am. Actually, in this pregnancy, I've been worried about everything also, first I worried because I wasn't gaining or sick, then I was sick, so obviously my hcg was doing it's thing and I worried it was a molar pregnancy. Now I've felt the baby move, and I STILL have it in the back of my mind that it's a molar pregnancy. I'm just like that. I would have had a spiral of interventions and diagnostic tests that would have just made me more nervous. That's just how I am. Thankfully I figured it out myself before I go pregnant, and I have figured that the best thing for *me* is to UP. Honestly, I'm super relaxed (except for that stupid irrational molar pregnancy dealie) with this, and I think that it's because I've been attempting to actively change my mindset. Around 12 weeks I decided to find my fundus, yup, right on. I just recently bothered to get a blood pressure cuff out of curiousity, and just ordered a fetoscope, also out of curiosity. I'm not doing pee sticks because I just don't feel the need, if I feel a need, I'll do em.

But anyway, that is my ramblings just to say that I totally know where other people are coming from. I know I would have done the same thing a few years ago. Actually, the reason why I'm not doing them is because my DH demands that I tell him exactly why I need to do XYZ before I do it (lol, not very PC, tsk tsk tsk) but in doing that he has caused me to question my little medical saftey net that I relied on before. So yeah, that's it. Totally understand what everyone is doing

Love,
Cara
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#32 of 35 Old 04-11-2006, 12:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littleteapot
For me, having had a baby that was born and died of birth defects, I don't take comfort in the idea that my baby is 'perfect' - I take comfort in that whatever happens, happens. And there is a reason for it.
I cannot control or know everything, and so I spend my time loving and living, accepting whatever is there. An ultrasound or tests won't *change* what is there or what isn't. Nothing will. For me, there's no such thing as perfect.
Thanks for your reply, mama. I just wanted to say, when I wrote in my post that I hoped you would understand what I meant, this is what I meant. I didn't mean that my baby would be "perfect" in the sense that nothing was "wrong" with him/her by medical standards, I meant that they would be perfect in the sense that they were who they were and complete and beautiful just the way they are. The way they are supposed to, were meant to be, kwim?

And I totally dig what you're saying about terminating a fetus late in pregnancy. While personally I feel strongly that this is something I wouldn't do, since I am the kind of mama who knows what I want and makes my decisions in a very autonomous, informed way, although I do see why some mamas would do it (like your friend). But, for me, since it's not going to avoid the pain in the end, why wouldn't I let things come to their natural end and see and hold my precious baby? That's my pool of thought, anyway. Feels like it's yours too.

So thanks again mama, for your open-hearted sharing, I learn a lot from you.

 Grateful midwife and peaceful mama to three blissfully birthed, amazing children: dd (10)dd (7) and  ds (5).
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#33 of 35 Old 04-11-2006, 12:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myhoneyswife
Littleteapot, you brought up exactly how I am now, but a few years ago I would have gotten the screenings. I think it has *a lot* to do with different life experinces. I know myself now, and I know that even if I had gotten screenings, I would have worried that I had been in the 0.5 percent that gets a false negative. That's just how I am. Actually, in this pregnancy, I've been worried about everything also, first I worried because I wasn't gaining or sick, then I was sick, so obviously my hcg was doing it's thing and I worried it was a molar pregnancy. Now I've felt the baby move, and I STILL have it in the back of my mind that it's a molar pregnancy. I'm just like that. I would have had a spiral of interventions and diagnostic tests that would have just made me more nervous. That's just how I am. Thankfully I figured it out myself before I go pregnant, and I have figured that the best thing for *me* is to UP. Honestly, I'm super relaxed (except for that stupid irrational molar pregnancy dealie) with this, and I think that it's because I've been attempting to actively change my mindset. Around 12 weeks I decided to find my fundus, yup, right on. I just recently bothered to get a blood pressure cuff out of curiousity, and just ordered a fetoscope, also out of curiosity. I'm not doing pee sticks because I just don't feel the need, if I feel a need, I'll do em.

But anyway, that is my ramblings just to say that I totally know where other people are coming from. I know I would have done the same thing a few years ago. Actually, the reason why I'm not doing them is because my DH demands that I tell him exactly why I need to do XYZ before I do it (lol, not very PC, tsk tsk tsk) but in doing that he has caused me to question my little medical saftey net that I relied on before. So yeah, that's it. Totally understand what everyone is doing

Love,
Cara
I'm glad to hear that you know yourself well enough to make such a strong decision! I feel the same way, that I can sort of feel out my possible outcomes/reactions to things before I do them, and make the right decisions for myself and my family. That I'm educated enough to take what I know in my heart along with what I know empirically to put my heart at ease. Fear is likely to be the biggest reason that mamas get this test, and why they continue with the gaggle of other diagnostics. And if you are the type of person who can be "bullied" into continuing, without knowing your personal limits/comfort zone ahead of time, it is most definitely best to avoid it all together.

Anyhow, kudos to you for making smart choices for yourself.

 Grateful midwife and peaceful mama to three blissfully birthed, amazing children: dd (10)dd (7) and  ds (5).
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#34 of 35 Old 04-11-2006, 04:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks mamas for your wise thoughts on this issue.
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#35 of 35 Old 04-12-2006, 05:27 PM
 
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I've been dilly-dallying over having the 20 week scan which over here is described as the 'anomaly scan'.

Most people don't think that its anything more than a way to find out the sex but its been playing on my mind even though I'd made the appointment the last time I saw the high risk team who are monitoring my pregnancy due to blood clotting problems.

Anyhow the appointment was for today and yesterday I really started to think I didn't want to hear any bad news. My dad died a year ago tomorrow and since then fate seems to have taken the front seat somehow. I'm injecting to prevent a bad clotting episode but that is about me not the baby in my case and I'm glad to be wearing my shield as my dad died when he was not on any treatment and hadn't had a problem for 15 years.

I feel positive about the babe and how he or she is doing in there then re-reading this thread last night what little teapot said about wanting to share a wondrous time with my little one inside me and not be encumered by anxiety and distress which I honestly couldn't deal with right now.

So thank you wise women for helping me think this through and come to a decision I am at peace with.
Rachel
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