Top Ten Dumb#$%#$ Things to Say To a Pregnant Lady - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-02-2006, 11:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Heard recently from a never-been-pregnant friend:

"Hey! How have you been? How're you feeling?"
"Oh, feeling great, thanks! The second trimester is awesome."
"Yeah? You're walking kind of, like, unwieldy."

(I was juggling a winter coat and two heavy bags at the time. I almost pushed her into oncoming traffic.)

Share your own favorites. I like vloty's.

Mimi :yawning: the happy mama of one DD & one DS ; married to my sweetie.
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Old 05-03-2006, 02:22 AM
 
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"hey Chubby!"

My not so svelte motherr to 8 month pregnant me!

"Boy your stomach is getting fat!"

6 year old boy to 7 month pregnant me.
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Old 05-03-2006, 03:24 AM
 
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"Man, I wish you weren't so fat!"

ex-husband to six and seven and eight and nine month pregnant me.

"you can't possibly be able to feel your baby move yet, it's just gas"

male doctors before 15 weeks gestation
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Old 05-03-2006, 09:11 AM
 
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She dosen't say it and even dosen't know what it means (I hope) but you should see the pictures my 6&1/2 year old has been drawing of me!:
I look terrible in them. Huge round body, itty bitty head, one time I had sausage arms and legs, and for some reason I always have a see through belly and you can see the baby. And I'm usually standing next to DH in them who is drawn as a thin-sticklike figure, so my fatness is even more noticable! I can only hope she dosen't draw them at school-I would be mortified!

Heather
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Old 05-03-2006, 09:59 AM
 
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Oh, you shouldn't eat/do/lift that!

That pisses me off. Offer me beer, darn it, and let me be the one to refuse it on my own. Or not, depending on what I think!

But I love having a big belly! Will love it even more when I'm more noticably pg and not fat. Right I'm 'oh, I think she's pg, but I"m not going to say anythign just in case'


Cara
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Old 05-03-2006, 10:40 AM
 
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When I talked to my dad in another state, he asked me
"are you STILL pregnant?"
Rolling my eyes and sighing.

On the other hand, my ds said yesterday when looking at a neighbor's baby "my mommy has one of those in her tummy"

awww...
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Old 05-03-2006, 11:31 AM
 
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What ticks me off the most is the basic nosy progression everyone makes:

"How far are you?" <answer>
"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" <answer>
"Do you have the name yet?" <grumble>

Even from strangers on the street. Yeah, let me share something as intimate and personal as the genitalia and name of my unborn child with a complete stranger who doesn't even know my name.

We're not telling anyone the names we like, not even our parents, until the ink is on the birth certificate.

Oh, and I work with a sweet old man in his mid-70's who always follows up the compliment, "You look BEAUTIFUL!!" with "Your husband should keep you pregnant all the time!" Um... you should have quit when you were ahead.
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Old 05-03-2006, 11:40 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by magpiedee

We're not telling anyone the names we like, not even our parents, until the ink is on the birth certificate.
I think that's smart. We've wavered so much with names, and I'm pretty sure right now we like Hannah or Zachary, but I don't want to commit to anything until I see baby. Heck, even then I might not want to commit for sure for a couple weeks after birth, and it will be a few months til we do the BC. So we'll let people know before the ink is on the BC, but not til we're acutally sure baby looks like it's name. I know there are some people who have had names picked out forever, and they totally know baby's name already, but we're not those people. Acutually, I liked Molly and Ben forever, and now I don't like them so much, or Molly at least, I still like Ben but DH doesn't.

We had this random idea that we'd get a cat and practice naming her so we've had 'experience' before naming the babe. Well, we got a kitten this weekend, named her fuzz, and now we call her cat. So maybe baby will just be Baby on the BC. No, I don't think so...

Off topic, sorry.


Cara
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Old 05-03-2006, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by magpiedee
What ticks me off the most is the basic nosy progression everyone makes:

"How far are you?" <answer>
"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" <answer>
"Do you have the name yet?" <grumble>
Those questions don't bother me, because I think it's human nature to be excited about a pregnant woman. I mean, *I* think I'm pretty fascinating, can I blame strangers and acquaintances for thinking the same thing? It makes me feel warm and fuzzy, like I'm yet another awesome woman bringing life into the world. It also helps that my honest answer to questions 2 and 3 is "no" -- and I think it will stay "no" even after it's "yes"!

What I don't like is when people make little comments about how (1) "you don't look pregnant" or (2) "you must be almost due!" I hear those as (1) you are ordinarily heavy and we can't tell the difference, or (2) you are huge. Neither of those are true. Dammit. And I'm just sensitive about my weight in general. It's annoying when people think they know exactly how a 5-months pregnant belly "should" look. THIS is how it looks, folks!

Another one I didn't like -- got this before I was pg -- was something like "How could you want to bring kids into this world, the way things are going?" WOW, I mean, if you want to not have kids, go ahead, but don't rain on my parade. I'm not happy with the way many things are going, but that doesn't mean I don't have hope, or that my kids (and I!) can't work to make things better. Sheesh. I actually heard that from a couple people.

Mimi :yawning: the happy mama of one DD & one DS ; married to my sweetie.
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Old 05-03-2006, 03:30 PM
 
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Since we already have 4 boys I get people in the store saying
" Don't you know where these "things" come from?"
" Is your husband going to get the snip now?"
and my all time favorite--
" Are you trying to beat the family on TV with the 16 kids?" and " Do you really think you are going to have a girl after 4 boys?"
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Old 05-03-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by magpiedee
"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" <answer>
"Do you have the name yet?" <grumble>
The first question only bothers me when it's worded "Do you know what your having?" Um well...it's a baby you moron!" I understand what they mean, but they just don't think about how they are saying it.

The name thing bugs me this time, but it didn't last time. Not sure why.

The worst one is "Are you sure your not having twins?" GRRRRRRRRR! No I am just fat AND pregnant you twit!!!! Plus not everyone only gains the 15-20 pounds many high profile hollywood preg moms do.

Lastly towards the end is "You haven't had that thing yet?" First of all it is not a thing, it is my child. And well, duh, obviously I haven't!

Some people just don't think before they speak

ETA: OH yeah, one more. "So are you going to have any more?" Well let me get this one here, give me a year & then I might let you know!

Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

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Old 05-03-2006, 04:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mimi37
What I don't like is when people make little comments about how (1) "you don't look pregnant" or (2) "you must be almost due!" I hear those as (1) you are ordinarily heavy and we can't tell the difference, or (2) you are huge. Neither of those are true. Dammit. And I'm just sensitive about my weight in general. It's annoying when people think they know exactly how a 5-months pregnant belly "should" look. THIS is how it looks, folks!
:

Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

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Old 05-03-2006, 05:10 PM
 
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i always get when are you due followed up with:

(a look at my round belly) you have so much time left!!!
Or
are you having twins? triplets?

or (some people actually have said this to me)
my so-and-so had twins/triplets and you are about as big as her!
Or
i know tons of girls who are pregnant who aren't even showing at ___weeks, and look at YOU.
(granted the last one was by a teenage girl)

and for the record with #1 i gained around 50 pounds and i am five feet tall.
my dh is very tall and our dd was very long so since i am so short she just pushed outward...so i know i did look big.
BUT COME ON!!!!
there is still such things as manners!

and i agree with the PP who mentioned the hollywood women who gain 15 pounds and are dancing at the oscars the night they are due in highheels and a gucci dress.
F those girls.
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Old 05-03-2006, 06:52 PM
 
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When I was pregnant with my daughter I got these questions. All the time. All in a row just like this.

"Wow, when are you due?"
"Are you having twins?"
"Are you sure?"
"Did you check?"


With my son it was always, "You're so tiny!"

"You're fat"
My older brother to me, 3 months pregnant with my daughter. When I said, "Gee, thanks" he said, "No I don't mean it like that! I mean you're always thin, and now you're thin but with fat."


"You're getting a c-section, right?"
I get this CONSTANTLY. My husband is 6'4" and I'm 5'1" in thick socks and 100lbs soaking wet. I can't possibly have a baby from a tall man!

I've also recently heard random snippits like, "Your uterus will explode if you try a VBAC".

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

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Old 05-03-2006, 07:02 PM
 
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"You had a ten pounder? You must have a big hole!"

Yes, she really said it, in front of everyone at the bus stop, when I was preggers with number three.
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Old 05-03-2006, 07:14 PM
 
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beansavi.. I couldn't help laughing at that. What a terrible thing to say though, in front of strangers no less!!
I've gotten all the usual questions. My MIL asked me if I was having twins when my belly started pooching out around 10 or so weeks. Apparently after having 2 children close together she doesn't remember that you show sooner with the second. Even at this point in my last pregnancy I think I was bigger than I am now.
And it's not twins, obviously
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Old 05-03-2006, 08:25 PM
 
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I teach adult basic ed and my students are lovely but because I only see each class once a week I hear 'oh you are EVEN bigger now' or 'Aren't you getting big now' every day!

Well obviously the baby grows a bit every week so I do too.

My MIL came yesterday and the only thing she said to me directly was that I was looking uncomfortable already. I feel fine and gorgeous actually - nowhere near uncomfortable yet thank you! (I held this thought in my head as I couldn't be bothered to say it to her)
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Old 05-04-2006, 12:47 AM
 
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"Oh, you're one of THOSE people" said in response to us not finding out what the gender of this baby is.

"OMG!!!! You're going to have a HOME BIRTH!!!" To which I always want to respond, "OMG!!!! You're going to the HOSPITAL to have a baby!!!

Them: Are you having twins?
Me: No
T: Are you sure?
M: Yes.
T: Well, how do you know? You don't know you're not having twins, you haven't had an u/s yet. You've had twins before!!! I bet you are having twins!
M (in my head): Duh IVF twins do not run in my family!!! Those were surrogacies. Just because I carried twins before doesn't mean that I'm absolutely pregnant with them now!!! I think I would know if I'm preggo with twins, I remember what it was like. Just because I'm frickin huge already doesn't mean there are twins in there, it just means that twins have been in there before and I'm a little *roomy* in there.

Argh! Sorry, I'm just really irritated about hearing that question and responses over and over!

Sarah loving wife to Scot...joyous mama to...
Emilee and Elaina and our newest addition Elliot Bell 9/15/10
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Old 05-06-2006, 09:27 PM
 
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I had a co-worker of mine last pregnancy ask me how often I had to pee. This isn't even someone I'm particularly good friends with, we just work together and say hi and bye in the halls. First of all, why do people feel entitled to ask you questions like that just because you're pregnant, and second of all, why would anyone care??

I also have a co-worker who feels the need to tell me every single time she sees me how big I am. I say, "I just saw you yesterday, I didn't get any bigger overnight!!"
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Old 05-08-2006, 06:07 PM
 
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To the mother of 3 boys and pregnant with (?) 4
"So, you hoping for a girl?"
~um no. Doesn't matter either way.

"Here hold this girl baby. Maybe the girly will rub off on the babe inside"
~um no. Pretty much already decided in there.

It's lonely being the only XX in a house of XYs.
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Old 05-09-2006, 03:46 PM
 
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I was in shock when someone asked me at a party (a girl no less) if this was an "accident" or was it "planned" as she pointed to my belly.
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Old 05-09-2006, 03:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lesty
I was in shock when someone asked me at a party (a girl no less) if this was an "accident" or was it "planned" as she pointed to my belly.
LOL My FIL asked me this just this weekend. Problem is, I have a policy that if someone's brave enough to ask a question, they're brave enough to hear the whole answer. I don't think FIL was quite prepared for a discussion of my hormone levels and cycle patterns. That'll teach him.
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