Start of labor? REALLY FREAKING..... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, yesterday I started getting light cramps, only light.... And today they're getting a bit worse.... To the point it feels like now I have period cramps..... I'm trying not to freak out here........... BUT IT'S NOT WORKING...... What does the start of labor feel like????????????????????????
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#2 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:31 PM
 
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not in your DDC, but wanted to tell you to take a deep breath and BREATHE!! and yes, it could very well be labor! my labors generally started with period like cramps, oh and numerous trips to the bathroom anyway HTH!

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#3 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:34 PM
 
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(I'm also not in your DDC, but wanted to respond since you said you were freaking!)
My labor started with bloody show.. then period-like cramps. My contractions felt like really strong menstrual cramps. Not everyone describes them that way, but that is exactly how mine felt. Even now when I get regular menstrual cramps, it's reminiscent of labor (although on a much smaller scale )

Try to relax and do something to keep your mind off of it (I know, easier said than done!)..
Good luck!

~e, wife to my sweet T partners.gif, mama to my turtleman (8) , sunshine (6 vbac.gif), and monkey (2)
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#4 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:35 PM
 
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Could be! Regardless, try to relax and rest (or distract yourself with non-exhausting activities)! You will be glad you did once it really is active labor.

How exciting, mama! Keep us posted!

Mimi :yawning: the happy mama of one DD & one DS ; married to my sweetie.
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#5 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm actually freaking that much I'm crying.... And the cramps aren't even that bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think it helps that I'm totally alone in the house... And everyone who is meant to be with me when I give birth are currently unreachable......... OK, I'm breathing....... In....................... And out............................................... ..........................................
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#6 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:39 PM
 
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do the cramps go into your thighs, sort of like an all over body cramp. that's what it felt like i was in labor. remember, it will go faster if you are relaxed.

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#7 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No all over body cramps yet.... Just in the stomacy / uterus kinda area. It just occurred to me I have a lady coming to visit me in about 40 mins.... So I won't be alone for a while.... Thats a bit of a releif....
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#8 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:45 PM
 
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It could be prodominal labor (sp?), you know 'fake labor', the type that gears you up for the real thing. I had a lot of that the last 2 weeks before my kids showed.
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#9 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:46 PM
 
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hey there... i'm due too, so have only to offer support here, no experience. your body could do this for 20 more hours... think positive.... you're baby is NOT going to be born any minute... you have time, your support people have time to get home, get your message and get to you...

...in the meantime eat well, drink lots and choose a lowkey task to pass some time...

... you will be fine... your baby is not in a rush.

breathe!
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#10 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:46 PM
 
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I would suggest you take a warm bath, try to relax and lay down if you can and rest a little! you will need your energy if this is labor!

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#11 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:49 PM
 
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Relax! Take a shower...(if you can). Labor is hard to mistake, even if you've never experienced it before. You won't think... could this be it... you will know THIS IS IT... don't call it labor for nothin'

sit down, relax... usually it is slowed if you sit/lie down.

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#12 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:51 PM
 
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Well, if it helps you feel calmer, I've been feeling those consistently pretty much since Friday of last week, and I'm still here, with baby inside! Of course, I know it goes a lot faster for a lot of people... but it seems it's quite common for the early work/ rehearsal contractions to start and then stop entirely (at least that's what they keep telling me...)

Of course, you're talking to a first-timer here! But I freaked out the first three times it happened, and then decided I was going to blow all my strength if I kept assuming active labor was around the corner. Good luck.. do try to relax, keep drinking fluids... it's good to have a plan in place to figure out who would get you to the hospital 'in the event' so you can feel you have your bases covered--and then (as hard as it sounds) just try to take it easy.

doula mom to a fantastic 3-year-old dirt-lover , Yeshuel, m/c at 10wks 10/6/08 , and Alan born 10/7/09
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#13 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 09:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well I'm really liking the idea of false labor.... BUT if this is the real deal.... I'm pleased to hear she won't be here any minute...... I have time............. I've stopped freaking as much now...... Phew....... Thanks guys....... Focusing on being calm.... Might go have a bath after the lady has been to visit me...... Until then I'm just gunna sit here and work on babies scrap book..... Thats a relaxing task.....
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#14 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 10:49 PM
 
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It's okay, you can do this!!! Remember that the stronger your surges the closer you are to holding your baby!! Try not to fight it. Relax your body, relax your mind. Try to envision yourself opening, like a flower, one petal at a time. Remember, your body was built to birth. Women have been birthing for as long as humanity has existed, you have everything you need within you to do this.

Sending thoughts of strength and peace for your birth. Looking forward to hearing your beautiful story!
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#15 of 71 Old 09-13-2006, 11:03 PM
 
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Coming in from the October DDC with some more reassurance.

I had similar cramping with my second pregnancy for about 1 1/2 weeks prior to the big event (and I mean BIG! My water burst in the most dramatic fashion as the onset of my labour )

I'm 36 weeks now and have been having prodromal labour off and on for the last 1 1/2 weeks. I'm guessing I still have another week or so to go. It's long and frustrating, but I am making progress. I've gone from 1cm last week to 2cm this week, my cervix is lower and slowly effacing. It feels good to know that the contractions are helping, even at a turtle's pace.

I hope you've managed to have a nice bath and calm down a bit now, no matter what's happening. Labour can be so overwhelming!
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#16 of 71 Old 09-14-2006, 12:26 AM
 
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Please be calm. Labor is nothing to freak about. You're going to be fine, even if you have to do this yourself without support, everything is going to be fine. Your body is perfectly designed to do this, as long as you can be calm and let your body work. If you need to sit, then sit. If you need to move, then move. If you need to sleep, then sleep. Remember to breathe and keep your voice low and deep when you get to the point of having to work through the contractions. Think of open thoughts, like the way it feels to bulge out your pelvic floor during urination. Keep your mouth and shoulders loose.

Don't panic, there's nothing to panic about. This is normal and safe and if you let yourself be calm and in the moment, you will find the beauty, peace, and strength of yourself as you move toward birth.

Breathe.
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#17 of 71 Old 09-14-2006, 12:16 PM
 
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I had several bouts of the strong ctx that radiate out into my thights & back a bit along with several bowel movements, but of course it stopped. My guess is I will have this off & on for a few days or maybe even a week before anything REALLY happens.

So just try to relax. It could be the start of the real thing or false labor jsut getting your body prepared, either way just try to take it easey & rest. Look at it this way if it is the real thing & you are already this tense you will be in for a long road. Try some deep breathing, positive visualizations & affirmations (I have faith in my body, I picture my cervix opening wide to allow my baby easy passage, I am calm!!! ) Hey & if nothing else a glass of wine is great for helping you relax, but only 1 glass

Rest & relax mama, let your body do the work it needs to & knows how to do!!! Sending you much peace & calming vibes

Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

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#18 of 71 Old 09-14-2006, 10:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for replying.... DP got home yesterday evening and I was SO releived.... UNTIL he informed me that he couldn't handle any of this and that he wasn't ready to be a father or to be with me and it was too much commitment... : After all that I couldn't even get the words out that I was possibly in the early stages of labor... He then went out again and stayed somewhere else last night..... So I went and stayed at my Mothers and got home today and he asked me what was wrong... DID I EVEN HAVE TO ANSWER THAT?!?!?! I MEAN WTF!!!! He springs all that crap on me right when I'm almost due to have a baby... What did he think I was gunna be doing??! Singing off rooftops?! I just said I was tired and sore and a bit worried and confused (Which is the truth - The polite truth, but still the truth) and he said he couldn't deal with me being sad so he was going to go stay somewhere else tonight.... And with that went and is having a nap now... I'm trying to stay calm... But its getting REALLY hard.... I just want to cry, but I can't because it'll probably just make him mad. The pains are still coming on and off and they're a bit sorer now.... So I'm sitting down with a warm hot water bottle on my stomac, might go have a bath soon. I don't know what to do about tonight.... I don't wanna be by myself but I don't think I have much choice in the matter.... All I can focus on right now is trying to stay calm and relaxed, I can feel a panic attack coming on and that really won't help any. I mean I'm pleased he felt he could at least be honest and tell me how he was feeling.... Not that any of it made it hurt any less... Well that was yesterday, he was at least nice about it then.... Today hes been not as nice. I don't know what to do Other than try to stay calm.... (I still haven't quite managed to tell him about the possible early labor stage thing... I don't think I can.... Not now)
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#19 of 71 Old 09-14-2006, 10:55 PM
 
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oh wow mama. I am so sorry!

I don't know what kind of advice to give. can you get a doula for you're birth? have a close freind that can come stay with you? you definitly need to try to forget about him and concentrate on focusing all your energy into your birth/labor. enjoy these last few days of you're pregnancy. Don't let him steal that from you because he has cold feet!

I will be thinking of you, you CAN get through this and you WILL!


Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#20 of 71 Old 09-15-2006, 02:41 AM
 
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Jumping in from Oct ddc to offer you some support!

Rainbowmoon is right, find yourself someone who you trust and are close to, to be there for you during labor & the end of the pregnancy. You certainly don't need his childish attitude altering the atmosphere for you. Don't worry about being too polite to him either, you're the one whose about to have a baby! The stress he's putting you under could absolutely put you into labor too, if you are, make sure you mention what has happened to the midwives so that they can provide you with support also.

Sorry if I've overstepped any boundaries but my son's father did this to me also, but we were sooooo much better off without him!

HUGS!
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#21 of 71 Old 09-15-2006, 04:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soon2b3
Sorry if I've overstepped any boundaries but my son's father did this to me also, but we were sooooo much better off without him!
No need to apologise whatsoever

Well hes gone out now.... And my best friend is now flying down from up in Auckland for 4 days, she lands tomorrow so thats great. Thanks for your replies too it's been kinda a difficult time.
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#22 of 71 Old 09-15-2006, 06:39 AM
 
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so good your friend is coming. glad you have that support. shame on your dp, terrible timing for a freakout; hope he comes to his senses soon. hang in there! may you have a beautiful labor in spite of the drama, and enjoy that sweet baby when s/he arrives. thinking of you!

nak

Mimi :yawning: the happy mama of one DD & one DS ; married to my sweetie.
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#23 of 71 Old 09-15-2006, 08:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well DP went out but said he'd be home and early, so I spent the whole evening getting excited when I heard a car pull up thinking it would be him... At 11pm I messaged him asking him if he was going to be much longer cos I would leave the key outside for him (He had his own key but lost it) and he messaged me back saying he was having some drinks and would be staying somewhere else for the night. As dissapointed and upset as I was (And yes I'm nervous - I hate being here by myself especially when the pains are getting worse) I messaged him back again saying to have fun... And he had a go at me for being grumpy and said this was ruining us and he wasn't happy.... And I'm fairly sure he's with someone else too.... And I'm not one of those paranoid people or anything like that. Just from what he's been saying and doing and the staying somewhere else thing...

I don't know what else to do, I can't do this. He told me when I first found out I was preg that I didn't have to worry, things would be OK... Things are nowhere near OK!!! We've kinda been up and down but things were going so well.... I trusted him. The last guy who said that things would be OK when I found out I was preg (I was 19 then) made me have an abortion when I really didn't want one, things weren't OK then either it destroyed me.... So this time I should have known better.... I know we're young (Well 21 - Youngish) and it's not exactly the easiest thing... But why did he have to do this NOW, why not a few months ago so I could have adjusted...??? Instead he leaves right at the last instant right completely alone when I think I may be in early labor....?! And I'm scared... I really really can't do this

I feel so stupid writing all this but I don't know what else to say.... Or do... Or think... Or feel.... It's just too hard.
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#24 of 71 Old 09-15-2006, 09:19 AM
 
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way easier said than done, but try to just focus on you and the baby ... imo he obviously has some selfish issues to deal with and there's nothing you can do to change that now. i feel for you!!!! i'm glad i have had some months to adjust to the father of my son not being here for his child, but it's still frustrating, no word no nothing since he left at the beginning of april. you are strong and beautiful and you dont need him, you have yourself and your dd and you're loved ones. plus you have us!!!
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#25 of 71 Old 09-15-2006, 11:04 AM
 
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Absolutely! Sometimes we just think that we 'need' someone in our lives but when you take a step back and look at who this person is you might find that you don't need them at all. IMO he's not the right one at the moment, he might even be the type of man who gets jealous of the attention a new baby gets. Maybe he'll grow up later but who knows.
You are the most important person that you will ever meet, you need to be supported and comforted and fussed over. It is certainly not the time for you to be emotionally chasing after someone.
It's a horrible feeling when you find yourself waiting by a phone that doesn't ring or thinking that he'll come home when he doesn't. He has the power at the moment and I'll tell you right now that he doesn't sound like he deserves it!
Wishing you empowerment (if that isn't a real word it should be!)
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#26 of 71 Old 09-15-2006, 11:35 AM
 
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Not from your DDC but I wanted to come in and offer you a

I don't know what to say about your situation. I can imagine how hurt and angry I would feel if my dp did this to me. I want to tell you that you need to focus on you and your little one. This is most important above all else.

I am glad your best friend is coming to be with you. This will really help you emotionally ... I think
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#27 of 71 Old 09-15-2006, 11:51 AM
 
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Sending big your way. I'm sitting here in tears for you. It sounds to me like he doesn't deserve you. I know this has to be hard for you. I'm glad you have a friend coming down to support you. Just concentrate on you and your sweet little baby that will be here soon. I wish I had the magic words to make it all better, but I can at least offer you a

Take care of yourself and try to relax. Take a nice bath, drink some tea, find your relaxation spot.

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#28 of 71 Old 09-15-2006, 12:11 PM
 
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you know it's really better he is figuring this out NOW and not in a year. you surely can't see that now while you are in the middle of it..but who needs this?!? I am so sorry mama! and I am so glad to hear your friend is coming to stay with you! Surround yourself with those who love you. don't torture yourself any longer with your BF..at least for right now. there will be plenty of time for that later.

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#29 of 71 Old 09-15-2006, 12:21 PM
 
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Rainbowsmum, I'm so glad you will have your friend with you. As everyone else said... take care of yourself, take time to center down on yourself and your baby, and do your best to put him out of your mind and your mental birth space.
You don't need his negativity as you go into this amazing and intense experience. Make a partnership with your baby... you'll get through this birth, and whatever comes, together. I'm the daughter of a single mom--we are still a great team, and she will be there with me when I deliver. You can do it!

doula mom to a fantastic 3-year-old dirt-lover , Yeshuel, m/c at 10wks 10/6/08 , and Alan born 10/7/09
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#30 of 71 Old 09-15-2006, 02:40 PM
 
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I'm not from your DDC, but I wanted to stop in and give you lots of hugs.

Kerry, loving wife to Pete, mama to DD (14) DS1 (9) DS2 (3) & Expecting someone new Jan 2013

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